You created this false version of yourself (ego), so no one could harm your real nature. You were saying to the world, “It’s not the real me that you are scolding – it’s a false version of me … ha ha to you.” Not a bad trick, except most of us never drop the coat of armor; we live our lives from the ego – forever reacting to fear (be it fear of intimate relationships, fear of money, fear of adventure, blah, blah, blah).

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Fear and Ego the Cancer of Modern Man by
Mahboob Ali khan MHA, CPHQ
Why tackling a subject that has been turned upside down in so
many books, conferences, etc.? What new things can I possibly
say on the matter?
These were two questions that kept me from writing this, and
yet, it didn’t give me peace—I went to sleep, and I woke up with
the same words going round and round in my head: Fear and
Ego. I don’t know if I’m going to say something new, but I’m
surely going to put on paper my own thoughts and experience on
the matter.

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A recent conversation spread a different light on the concept
of Fear.
I know and experienced the fact that it is the worst enemy one
can ever have since it lurks in the darkness of your soul, it’s
faceless, and loves to dismantle every initiative of growing and
evolving spiritually, which one may have. It is a clever and
observing enemy, and it always succeeds in finding your weak
spot. Once found, it will start hammering until you go beyond
the pain limit and become as inert as a statue. Is it sunny? Is it
rainy? Tornados blow away your house? Who cares? You’re
dead! A living dead! Fear stripped you of all your will power.
Yes, I was aware of all that! Yet, it never crossed my mind
that a person can start feeling unworthy because of Fear. (S)he
goes through a myriad of misfortunes, rejections, mockery,
people turning their backs when (s)he mostly needs them by
her/his side, until one day, when a thought takes birth, first like a
mere whisper, then louder and clearer: ―You are unworthy!‖,
―Do nothing, you have no energy left for one more heartbreak!‖.
Resignation, too, pays a visit to its friend, Fear, and they throw a
party at your funeral, since that’s the moment you’re dead!
Perceiving your inertia as a consciously taken decision is even
worse (―I’m better off without investing feelings or acting in any
way!‖). It won’t keep you from being hurt again. What you’re
doing is punishing yourself with continuous suffering, since
you’ll still be miserable.
The only question one should ask themselves when realizing
that they have a fit of resignation is: ―What’s the core of all
those misfortunes, rejections, etc.?‖ The answer is simple: Still

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Fear! It is the one, which keeps telling you whenever you start a
new relationship or business that you’re going to fail. And it is
right! When you hold hands with Fear, you start walking on
solid ground as if you’re on slippery ice. Sooner or later, you’ll
find that spot that will make you fall, and even if it isn’t there,
you’ll invent it. You’ll be the one pushing away people and
ignoring opportunities, and not the other way around. When
people go, business fail, again you’ll blame it all on them, on
hubris, or on who knows what ancient, vengeful god who
doesn’t consider you worthy as a human being—you don’t
deserve love, success, sunny days, and that’s why everything
breaks in your house. You’re just a poor, miserable human being
at the mercy of uncontrollable forces.
False! Each of us goes through days or even months like living
nightmares, but attitude and acknowledging where is Fear
talking through you helps a lot and shifts the whole range of
events.
You have to ignore Fear's voice! You’ll never be able to fight
it to death, since it will always accompany you; ignore it, and
give all of yourself to new situations and people, do your best
under any circumstance, and that will do.
As Steven Pressfield said in his book, The War of Art:
“Resistance is like a telemarketer; if you so much as say hello,
you’re finished. The pro doesn’t even pick up the phone. He
stays at work.”

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The hardest part is discerning its voice and not mistaking it for
your own conscious choices. Inaction has never been a human
choice! It’s ok to rest and gather your thoughts for a while, but
whenever you get up and hear that voice telling you ―Lie back
down!‖ that’s not you, it’s It!
What’s Ego got to do with all these?
Steven Pressfield in The War of Art views Ego as such:
“I think angels make their home in the Self, while Resistance
has its seat in the Ego.”
“The instinct that pulls us toward art is the impulse to evolve, to
learn,
to heighten and elevate our consciousness. The Ego hates this.
Because the more awake we become, the less we need the Ego.”
So, what relationship is there between Fear and Ego? The
author is right: Ego hates change, hates spiritual enlightenment,
because it is so caught in the materialistic life that it shuns any
glimpse of awakening to our higher self.
I for one see Ego as the defensive answer of Fear. They grow
exponentially. The more fear you experience towards a certain
course of action, the more Ego will take a hold on you. It is
Fear’s best buddy! It comes with intentions of division, trying to
separate your Self from all important ideas and impulses; it even
separates you from the rest of the world. Thus, it eases Fear’s
work.
So, when Fear alone finds it hard at putting you to death, it
calls forth its deadly ally: Ego, which will start to dismantle you
presently. These two together trigger all your demons:

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resentment, hostility, blame, self-importance, victimization,
anger, jealousy, complain, etc., and give them the necessary
force to reduce you to the size of a fly in agony.
Ego will make you feel superior in your misery and full-of-
failure life, and vests everything in martyrdom. It will make you
consider all the others as little people incapable of such elevated
feelings as yours.
I have no recipes on winning the battle with Fear and Ego! I
think that the sooner one reacts the better. As I stated before,
acknowledge its presence, discern its voice and words, ignore it!
Fear is afraid, too, and knows it cannot do the job alone: it
needs you and your Ego! That’s why it keeps chattering in your
ear trying to brainwash you. Fight it when it’s alone, for if Ego
kicks in, the fight will be a life and death one.
Fear and Ego—they are the worst enemies you can have. The
former is a force living inside you, the latter is part of you
literally. It’s hard to fight something you don’t see, and yourself.
It is a constant battle, but it is worthwhile since it gives you back
to yourself in your full splendour.
You are worthy, you have the necessary energy to start over
again, you love to give and receive love, you love change and
new things, you love this journey called life! Don’t let that mean
voice tell you otherwise! Don’t pick up the phone, when it rings!
Fight it! Do it now!
“The most pernicious aspect of procrastination is that
it can become a habit. We don't just put off our lives today;
we put them off till our deathbed.” (Steven Pressfield – The War of Art)

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The (Only) 5 Fears We All Share
President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted, "The only thing we have
to fear, is fear itself."
I think he was right: Fear of fear probably causes more problems in our
lives than fear itself.
That claim needs a bit of explaining, I know.
Fear has gotten a bad rap among most human beings. And it's not nearly
as complicated as we try to make it. A simple and useful definition
of fear is: An anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation
of some imagined event or experience.
Medical experts tell us that the anxious feeling we get when we're afraid
is a standardized biological reaction. It's pretty much the same set of
body signals, whether we're afraid of getting bitten by a dog, getting
turned down for a date, or getting our taxes audited.
Fear, like all other emotions, is basically information. It offers us
knowledge andunderstanding—if we choose to accept it—of our
psychobiological status.
And there are only five basic fears, out of which almost all of our other
so-called fears are manufactured. These are:

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1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a
more fundamental way to express it than just calling it "fear of
death." The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential
anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get
when you look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily
structure; the thought of having our body's boundaries invaded, or
of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural
function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and
other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed,
restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned,
smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our
control. In physical form, it's commonly known as claustrophobia,
but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of
connectedness; ofbecoming a non-person—not wanted, respected,
or valued by anyone else. The "silent treatment," when imposed by
a group, can have a devastating psychological effect on its target.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other
mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of
integrity of the Self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of
one's constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.
That's all—just those five. They can be thought of as forming a simple
hierarchy, or "feararchy":

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Think about the various common labels we put on our fears. Start with
the easy ones: fear of heights or falling is basically the fear of extinction
(possibly accompanied by significant mutilation, but that's sort of
secondary). Fear of failure? Read it as fear of ego-death. Fear of
rejection? That's fear of separation, and probably also fear of ego-death.
The terror many people have at the idea of having to speak in public is
basically fear of ego-death. Fear of intimacy, or "fear of commitment," is
basically fear of losing one's autonomy.
Some other emotions we know by various popular names are just aliases
for these primary fears. If you track them down to their most basic
levels, the basic fears show through.Jealousy, for example, is an
expression of the fear of separation, or devaluation: "She'll value him
more than she values me." At its extreme, it can express the fear of ego-
death: "I'll be a worthless person." Envy works the same way.
Shame and guilt express the fear of—or the actual condition of—
separation and even ego-death. The same is true for embarrassment and
humiliation.
Fear is often the base emotion on which anger floats. Oppressed people
rage against their oppressors because they fear—or actually
experience—loss of autonomy and even ego-death. The destruction of a
culture or a religion by an invading occupier may be experienced as a
kind of collective ego-death. Those who make us fearful will also make
us angry.

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Religious bigotry and intolerance may express the fear of ego-death on a
cosmic level, and can even extend to existential anxiety: "If my god isn't
the right god, or the best god, then I'll be stuck without a god. Without
god on my side, I'll be at the mercy of the impersonal forces of
the environment. My ticket could be canceled at any moment, without a
reason."
Some of our fears, of course, have basic survival value. Others,
however, are learned reflexes that can be weakened or re-learned.
That strange idea of "fearing our fears" becomes less strange when we
realize that many of our avoidance reactions—turning down an
invitation to a party if we tend to be uncomfortable in groups; putting off
a doctor's appointment; or not asking for a raise—are instant reflexes
that are reactions to the memories of fear. They happen so quickly that
we don't actually experience the full effect of the fear. We experience a
"micro-fear"—a reaction that's a kind of shorthand code for the real fear.
This reflex reaction has the same effect of causing us to evade and avoid
as the real fear. This is why it's fairly accurate to say that many of our
so-called fear reactions are actually the fears of fears.
When we let go of our notion of fear as the welling up of evil forces
within us—the Freudian motif—and begin to see fear and its companion
emotions as basically information, we can think about them consciously.
And the more clearly and calmly we can articulate the origins of the
fear, the less our fears will frighten us and control us.