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Week 3: Break the Power of the Past
- 1. Breek met die houvas van die verlede Gen 3 2 Kor 5
- 2. Evaluering 20 15 10 6 emotional adult emotional adolescent emotional child emotional infant Vraelys
- 4. Hoe lyk jou binnewêreld? What does your inner world look like? “We realized the life-transforming power of Jesus had not touched large areas of our lives (=emotional health). All the Bible studies, the prayer and fasting, or the small group meetings would not change that. I felt like an emperor without any clothes”
- 5. Wat is die “ankers” in jou lewe? What “anchors” do you have in your life? • Ander se verwagtinge • Mislukkings/teleurstellings • Onvergifnis/bitterheid • Lae selfbeeld • Arrogante selfbeeld • Vrees vir verwerping/dat iemand sal uitvind • Verlede: verraad / mishandeling / wonde / verliese • Verslawing / Trauma • Ontkenning / voorgee / vermy die verlede
- 6. Hoe kyk ek terug? How do I look back? • Watter een of twee patrone kan jy identifiseer uit jou familie wat vandag nog invloed het op jou? What one or two patterns might emerge of how your family has impacted who you are today? • In watter areas van jou lewe word jy ooreers deur die patrone van die verlede, in plaas van Christus? In what area(s) might you be shaping your life according to your past rather that Christ’s family? • Watter harde werk van dissipelskap lê vir jou voor? / What “hard work of discipleship” might you have before you?
- 7. 2 Stukke gereedskap: 2 Instruments: Genogram
- 8. 2 Stukke gereedskap: 2 Instruments: 1. Geld Money 2. Sukses Success 3. God God 4. Geslagsrolle Gender roles 5. Huwelik Marriage 6. Komplimente Compliments 7. Seks Sex 8. Spel & Ontspanning Play & Relaxing 9. Uitdruk van woede Anger 10. Rou en verlies Mourning & Loss 10 Commandments
- 9. So wat nou? So what now? Hergeboorte in geestelike familie/Rebirth in spiritual family • Neem verantwoordelikheid vir jou genesing /Take responsibility for your healing
- 10. Wanneer kyk ek weer terug? How often do I look back?
Editor's Notes
- InterPretatIon GuIde: LeveLs of emotIonaL maturIty Emotional infants. I look for other people to take care of me emotionally and spiritually. I often have difficulty in describing and experiencing my feelings in healthy ways and rarely enter the emotional world of others. I am consistently driven by a need for instant gratification, often using others as objects to meet my needs. People sometimes perceive me as inconsiderate and insensitive. I am uncomfortable with silence or being alone. When trials, hardships, or difficulties come, I want to quit God and the Christian life. I sometimes experience God at church and when I am with other Christians, but rarely when I am at work or home. Emotional children. When life is going my way, I am content. However, as soon as disappointment or stress enter the picture, I quickly unravel inside. I often take things personally, interpreting disagreements or criticism as a personal offense. When I don’t get my way, I often complain, throw an emotional tantrum, withdraw, manipulate, drag my feet, become sarcastic, or take revenge. I often end up living off the spirituality of other people because I am so overloaded and distracted. My prayer life is primarily talking to God, telling him what to do and how to fix my problems. Prayer is a duty, not a delight. Emotional adolescents. I don’t like it when others question me. I often make quick judgments and interpretations of people’s behavior. I withhold forgiveness to those who sin against me, avoiding or cutting them off when they do something to hurt me. I subconsciously keep records on the love I give out. I have trouble really listening to another person’s pain, disappointments, or needs without becoming preoccupied with myself. I sometimes find myself too busy to spend adequate time nourishing my spiritual life. I attend church and serve others but enjoy few delights in Christ. My Christian life is still primarily about doing, not being with him. Prayer continues to be mostly me talking with little silence, solitude, or listening to God. Emotional adults. I respect and love others without having to change them or becoming judgmental. I value people for who they are, not for what they can give me or how they behave. I take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, goals, and actions. I can state my own beliefs and values to those who disagree with me — without becoming adversarial. I am able to accurately self- assess my limits, strengths, and weaknesses. I am deeply convinced that I am absolutely loved by Christ and, as a result, do not look to others to tell me I’m okay. I am able to integrate doing for God and being with him (Mary and Martha). My Christian life has moved beyond simply serving Christ to loving him and enjoying communion with him.
- To look below the surface is to bring the rest of the ice-berg story of our lives into full view for God’s transforming work. To look back is to attempt to understand what is there in our past that might be chasing us/influencing us/encumbering us as we seek to move forward into our future. We’ve all grown accustomed to that faint, water-mark disclaimer that appears in so many mirrors: “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear!” When it comes to our emotional and relational past, that statement is probably truer than we’d like to think. Our past has impacted us more than fit may appear. Waarvoor is spieltjie ind ie kar? Vir terugstoot … nee ook om vorentoe te gaan… pa en ouma se bestuurles….
- Min mense kyk na die issues onder die oppervlak, nog minder kyk terug en sien hoe die verlede hulle in die huidige beinvloed. Hierdie goed is soos ankers… wat is heirdie kettings/ankers wat maak dat maak nie saak hoe graag ek beter mens wil – ek kry dit net nie reg nie…. “In emotional healthy churches people understand how their past affects their present ability to love Christ and others… they realized from scripture and life that an intricate, complex relationships exist between the kind of person they are today and their past. “ Laasweek se glittering Images.. Boek.. .. Ongeskrewe reel: “Wat sal die mense sê?” Then she cries again but finally answers: “W’re all very happy – he’s just a little difficult now and then.” SO WAAR BEGIN DIT???? GENESIS 3 Ons is afstammelinge vand ei eerste familei Adam en Eva… En wat doen hulle na hulel fouteer? En dit gebeuer vandag nog – hardloop weg van God inplaas van na Hom. En ons sien dit in beheer, “fixing”, vrees, onttekking, ignoreer, ontkenning, “pacifying:, …of… alleenheid, angs, frustrasie, “Resenbtment” blamering ….
- Expectations Failures past: treason / abuse / wounds / losses Denial / pretend / avoid the last Wat is die “boot-ankers in jou lewe” wat jou terughou? Jou eie mislukkigs of waar jy jouself teleurgestel het? The Bible suggests once we are Christians and followers of Jesus, we’re brand new people: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV). But if the OLD LIFE is gone Pastor ….., then why do I still have those anchors holding me back? It’s because in this text, Paul is declaring your forgiveness in Christ to have established your LEGAL freedom (no longer under accusation as sinner = justification) but your emotional freedom is the story of sanctification, the refinement and finishing work of the Holy Spirit in your life; the cutting loose of boat anchors tying us down. Paul had identified his—have you identified yours? After going through a long list of the things that were taking him down the wrong road (his pedigree of proud arrogance) this is what he said about his commitment move forward and his strategy to break free (*Read Phil. 3:10-14 TNIV*). I want to know Christ--yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. SO ONS KORT DIE SKILL OM TERUG TE KYK EN DIE ANKERS TE IDENTIFISEER….!!
- Dallas Willard - Waar het ek nie mense lief nie….
- Three chairs… KONING DAWID en sy Gesin… 3 temas.. HART VIR GOD… [dawid se Pa Jesse… dawid = man na God se hart; sonde Batseba = seun Salamo bou tempel, maar sy hart word beskryf as nie ten volle toegewe, Sy seun Trehobeam… mislukking Reeds aan die 2de geraak – seksuele sonde… dawid, Opudste seun verkrag sy halfsuster (Tamar), Salamo… 700 vroue.. Rehobeam – 18 vroue [vorm van politike bande… teen god] Familie twis/skeuring en twis onder broers.. Dawid effens – 1 Sam 16-17, Absalom vermoor broer Ammon vir verkragting van Tamar; Salamo se seun Rehabem nog verder – verdeel israel in 2..
- 1. MONEY •Money is the best source of security. •The more money you have, the moreimportant you are. •Make lots of money to prove that you ‘made’ it. 2.SUCCESS •Is getting into the ‘best schools’ •Is making lots of money. •Is getting married and having children 3. GOD 4. GENDER ROLES 5.RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGE •Don’t trust people. They will let you down. •Nobody will ever hurt me again. •Don’t show vulnerability. 6. COMPLIMENTS 7.SEX •Sex is not to be spoken about openly. •Men can be promiscuous, women mustbe chaste. •Sexuality in marriage will come easily. 8.Spel & ontspanning 9.EXPRESSING ANGER •Anger is dangerous and bad. •Explode in anger to make a point. •Sarcasm is an acceptable way to releaseanger. 10.GRIEF AND LOSS •Sadness is a sign of weakness. •You are not allowed to be depressed. •Get over losses quickly and move on. .CONFLICT •Avoid conflict at all costs. •Don’t get people mad at you. •Loud, angry, constant fighting is normal. FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS •You are not allowed to have certainfeelings. •Your feelings are not important. •Reacting with your feelings withoutthinking is okay. .FAMILY •You owe your parents for all they’vedone for you. •Don’t speak of your family’s “dirtylaundry” in public. •Duty to family & culture comes beforeeverything.
- Dallaw Willard sê God het nooit iemand van persoonlikheidsflaw genees nie… dit moet jy wil doen…! [Spiritual formation: The key to getting rid of stubborn habits and ingrained character flaws – the tendency to criticize, complain and procrastinate -- is to build an interactive life with God. Instead of trying to be good, we connect with God in order to let God transform us into Christlikeness. As we do the connecting with God, God does the perfecting in us.] Beeld van pere aan appelboom – alleen moontlik as jy nuut geplant word: Joh 3:3-5 [NEW ROOTS ARE NEEDED FOR NEW FRUIT] Eseg 36:25-27 noem dit hartoorplanting…. 2 Kor 5:16 – Ou en nuwe mens… Joseph, like many of us coming into adulthood, could have said, “You know my family. They wrecked my life and I’ve wasted years of my life and where did it go? What family? Gal 3:28 – nuwe familie – die van Christus Pualus is baie eerlik Your biological family of origin does notdetermine your future. •Adoption into the family of God debts are cancelled Given a new name New inheritance New brothers and sisters • Discipleship is putting off the sinful patterns &habits of our biological families
- “We do not go back to our pasts fot the sake of going back. We go back when we are stuck, unable to go forward” Here is a liberating truth- your life is your own! It’s not someone else’s- It’s yours. How did Joseph handle all this? (pg 112-114 in EHS) 1) He had a sense of the bigness of God- Gen 45:8 2) He honestly admitted the sadness and losses of his family- Gen 45:2 3) He rewrote his life according to God’s script- Hebrews 4:12, Ps 119:9 4) He partnered with God to bless others- Gen 45:9-11 You also have a choice about what you can do with your past- How to break free? Face it! (Matthew 4) a. Turn down the volume in other areas of your life b. If you are not sure how you feel- journal- write down yourfeelings... it helps to draw them out 2) Release people that have hurt you thru forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32) 3) Expose your thoughts and feelings intentionally the Lord (John 3:21) 4) Enter into the new full-orbed life God has for you (I Thess 5:23,24) We all have a great life to live- live it on purpose!