The document lists various strategies for finding agreement between an advisor and graduate student on a dissertation topic when their initial ideas do not align. It suggests collaborating by developing a topic incorporating both of their perspectives, finding a new advisor or program, gaining advice from previous students, or presenting multiple topic options to the advisor for discussion and refinement.

1. How does one get through the dissertation topic
selection successfully and satisfy both the department
and the candidate when they disagree?
Advisor’s
idea
Candidate’s
idea
Collaboration
between advisor and
candidate’s ideas
Fire Advisor
Bribe
Advisor
Blackmail
Advisor
Quit
Program
Secure an honorary
doctorate through
achievement or
endowment
Go back to
the drawing
board
Find a new advisor
in the department
Find a new
department
Find a new school/
more appropriate
program
Gain experience on
advisor management
from previous
graduates
Crowdsource the
dissertation topic on
the internet
Filibuster the
dissertation
committee
Use MIT’s paper
generator to create a
dissertation then
improve to
committee and
candidate’s
satisfaction
Find an advocate for
your external
committee member
Present a number of
acceptable to
candidate options for
topic to the advisor
Brainstorm topics
with the advisor
Cast a spell for topic
selection acceptance
Cast a spell for PhD
completion
Brainstorm topics
with domain
specialists
Brainstorm topics
with non-domain
specialists
Brainstorm topics
with a 5 year old
Create a video game
in which the
ultimate objective is
coming up with an
appropriate
dissertation topic
Start with one
chapter, writing only
for yourself
Start with one
chapter writing what
your advisor thinks
is appropriate
Get objective advice
from academics
outside your
advisor’s circle
Use your external
committee member
as a dissertation
advisor
Get drunk and
brainstorm topics
Reconsider a fallback
position as a cat
burglar
Draw an empathy
map for your advisor
as the stakeholder
Carry a voice
recorder and capture
every idea
Get drunk with your
advisor and
brainstorm topics
Reframe your idea to
be compatible with
your advisors in
some way
Use a Ouija board to
define your topic
Throw darts onto key words from your potential ideas
mounted on a dart board and create a topic
Write on a different
potential dissertation
topic for one hour
each day for a week.
Select the one that
excites you the most
and cater it to your
departmental
requirements
Go to a psychic and
ask him/her what
your dissertation
topic will be.
Make it
work
Please
pack your
knives
and go
Identify the career
goal and use that as
the inspiration for
the topic and outside
examiner
Sleep on
it
Talk to your
university’s writing
center
Use guided
meditation for topic
guidance
Write the reference
section first.
Using Scrabble tiles,
for every letter write
down the related
concepts in your
dissertation work.
Create a topic from
those concepts.
Write five
abstracts
representing at
least one of your
ideas and one of
your advisors. Put
them in a hat and
choose one
Ask Ganesh to be
your outside
examiner
Ask yourself, what
would Walter
White Do?