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Fia ppt
1. How to robber-proof your house
By Necrofia
who is a robber on an ad hoc basis
2. What you need
• Sticky labels (as many as you can get)
• Sharpie markers
• Creativity
3. What to do
• You are going to label EVERYTHING
• It might be best not to invite guests over
during this time
• Especially not your parents
• Put labels on EVERYTHING in your house you
particularly do not want stolen.
• Label them accordingly
6. “I peed on this when I was drunk”/ “I
puked in this”
literally anything within distance of projectile
vomit or gold showers
7. “had on this”
on the table and ALL the chairs
not sure who would/could steal this furniture but it’s a good deterrent from nearby objects
yeah you don’t want to know what we did
with those pillows
how do you
know I
don’t have
chlamydia
9. That’s all there is to it!
• When the robber breaks into your house, s/he
will be deterred by the laptops
• S/he obviously won’t believe all the labels BUT
recognizes that each item poses a serious risk
• All those risks added up will deter the robber
from taking ANYTHING
• because statistics
• that’s a lie I don’t know how to statistics I’m a
necromancer I talk to dead people all day