ELC291 Assessment 1 feedback


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ELC291 Assessment 1 feedback

  1. 1. ELC291 Assessment 1 Overview and Feedback
  2. 2. PolyU Grading• See http://www.polyu.edu.hk/as/ERN/ern_explan ation.html
  3. 3. ELC 291 Assessment 1 Criteria• Content and Organisation (30%)• Language: grammar, vocabulary, style and tone (45%)• Conventions: layout and format, referencing, and word length (25%)
  4. 4. Content• Answer the question• The problem with the diet of people in Hong Kong is not too much being consumed, but the wrong type of food and drink being consumed. To what extent do you agree with this view?• Overweight or obesity is an popular issue in Hong Kong.• The reason why Hong Kongers have not a health diet in daily life are the environment, food and drinks company and their dietary behavior.• Overeating is undeniably a problem. What is (denied?) here is whether it is a problem of Hong Kong.• ..it is related to the aggressive food advertisement, eating habit and types of food intake.
  5. 5. Language• What does this mean?• Surrounded by the inestimated change of environments, humans are subjected to what they eat and how they absorb.• Fundamental to the several reasons, with the convenience arising from consuming packaged foods being the most obvious.
  6. 6. Errors you should not be making• This study demonstrate that fast food always consumed by teenagers nowadays.• Some proposes that the diet of people depends on the amount being consumed.• ...people in the twenty-first centry emphasize the importance of balance eating…• ..the most commen consumed beverage…• From the aboved statements, it is belived…..• Nowadays, people in Hong Kong are more paying attention on health issue.• people lived in Hong Kong is very busy.
  7. 7. Style Errors• But it is still essential to educate…• Hong Kong is nicknamed…• ..and some advices will be give.• And these promotions show that…
  8. 8. Hedging• …only the unhealthy food is being ate by Hong Kong people.• … marketing promotion will have a psychological effect on children…
  9. 9. Referencing Errors• References in introduction and conclusion• Terry (2004) reveals -Terry and Hung (2004) reveal• Bell (2004) indicated -Bell and Swinburn (2004) indicate• (Lee et. al. 2004, p.50)(Lee, 2009, p.50)• (Fisher & Mitchell et.al, 2002)(Fisher et al., 2002)
  10. 10. IntroductionsThe dietary problem in Hong Kong has long been a heated debate.Some propose that the diet of people depends on the amount beingconsumed. On the contrary, some shed light on the type of food andbeverage taken_______. The aim of this essay is to show whetheramount or type of food occupy a greater extent in influencing theproblem of diet and _____ overweight. This essay begins witharguments supporting _______________ types of food, followed bya counter arguments showing a mild importance on the amount offood and it ends by summarizing the points above and____________ improvements to wrestle the problem.