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Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

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After a break-up Little Debbies, chocolate, and the charity of friends could not console, Dr. Duana Welch had the epiphany that transformed the way she lived her love life, leading to verifiable, objective answers to her questions—and yours. The only fact-based book to take men and women from before-you-meet until you commit, Love Factually blends heart, soul--and evidence. In a genre long on opinion and short on proof, Love Factually puts all the evidence in your corner for the most important and daunting task of our lives: finding and keeping The One.

Published in: Lifestyle, Self Improvement
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  • I think the batting averages slide is so poignant. We who are dating and particularly are older need to remind ourselves there isn't 'perfect' rather there is proximity to the batting average (wants and needss) that counts.
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Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

  1. 1. PROVEN STEPS TO FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE A Love Factually guide by Dr. Duana Welch
  2. 2. This Slideshare was adapted from my new book LOVE FACTUALLY Now on to the 10 Steps… I’ve spent the last 15 years researching and writing this book, going through volumes of scientific literature and advising clients and the public on their love issues. This book represents my best efforts to do something I haven’t found elsewhere: give you verified tools you need to find and keep the love of your life.
  3. 3. ABANDON THE 4 LOVE MYTHS That hold most people back 1
  4. 4. THERE ARE 4 COMMON LOVE MYTHS ARE THEY STALLING YOUR LOVE LIFE TOO? “Finding and keeping love is only for the lucky and the few.” “Before you can be happy with someone else, you have to be happy by yourself.” “Love only happens when you’re not looking.” “I’m unlovable.”
  5. 5. IDENTIFY YOUR TRAITS FOR A MATE 2
  6. 6. DOYOU KNOW WHETHER YOUR STANDARDS ARETOO LOW, TOO HIGH,OR JUSTRIGHT? START BY MAKING A DETAILED LIST THAT DESCRIBES YOUR IDEAL MATCH. RE-ORDER YOUR LIST INTO MUST-HAVES AND WANTS. Side note: Two traits need to be on everyone's List = Kindness & Respect MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR TO AVOID ABUSERS!
  7. 7. LOVE YOURSELF INTO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP 3
  8. 8. HOW CAN YOU DEVELOP THE BOUNDARIES THAT LEAD TO LOVE? MAKING YOUR GREAT LOVE STORY HAPPEN REQUIRES TWO THINGS ~~You’ve got to find the right person~~ ~~You have to be the right person. And that starts with SELF-LOVE~~
  9. 9. UNDERSTAND THE MATING MIND 4
  10. 10. HOWCANYOU LEVERAGEWHAT SCIENTISTSKNOW ABOUTMEN’S ANDWOMEN’S DIFFERENT MATING PSYCHOLOGIESTO WINATLOVE? Our mating minds have evolved so that: MEN gain value by showing status, strength, and staying power and... WOMEN improve their odds by displaying fertility and fidelity.
  11. 11. MAKE YOURSELF HARD-TO-GET 5
  12. 12. HOW CANYOU LEARNTO TIPOUT THE PLAYERS ANDTIP INTHE STAYERS? FOR WOMEN TODAY, FINDING LOVE REQUIRESA SIGNAL FROM CAVEMAN DAYS BEING HARDTO GETTELLS HIMTHAT YOU MIGHTBE MRS. RIGHT.
  13. 13. SEEK WHERE YOU WILL FIND 6
  14. 14. WHATARE4WAYSYOUCANFIND MORE -ANDBETTER-DATES? Use the Friends and Family Plan to seek a date through your network. Leverage the Law of Proximity: Being geographically close to someone is a powerful predictor of attraction. Find your Future in your Past: Could it be you already met The One? Fish with a Net - The Internet: Cast multiple lines (use multiple sites!) and have a unique Hook. 1 2 3 4
  15. 15. LEARN HOW NOT TO SUCK AT DATING 7
  16. 16. BE BRIEF, FUN, THOUGHTFUL, CURIOUS, AND POSITIVE HOW CAN YOU MAKE SURE THE ONES YOU WANT, WANT YOU TOO? THE ART & SCIENCE OF A GOOD DATE, IN JUST 7 WORDS:
  17. 17. LEAVEWRONGPARTNERS SO YOUCANFINDTHERIGHTONE FLUNK WRONG RELATIONSHIPS TO ACE THE ONE 8
  18. 18. WHAT ARE 4 WAYS TO TELL YOU’RE WITH MR. OR MS. ALMOST-BUT-NOT-QUITE-RIGHT? 1. They lack a Must-Have (see Step 2) 2. Pain is greater than Pleasure 3. There's not enough love in the relationship 4. Your intuition says No AND WHAT’S THE ONE PHRASE THAT WILL LET YOU BREAK UP MUCH MORE EASILY?
  19. 19. GET TO I DO 9
  20. 20. WHY ARE MEN USUALLY MORE RELUCTANT TO COMMIT - AND WHAT CAN WOMEN DO ABOUT IT? WOMEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT WHEN THEY’VE GOT IT, AND MEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT WHEN IT’S GONE WOMEN: YOU CANNOT FORCE A MAN INTO COMMITTING, BUT YOU CAN REFUSE TO MOVE IN, OR LEAVE AND LET HIM FIGURE IT OUT.
  21. 21. PERSIST, BEHOPEFUL, BEBRAVE 10
  22. 22. Finding Love is like batting averages: You don’t have to be anywhere near perfect to be great. HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP ON PERFECTION WITHOUT GIVING UP ON FINDING LOVE? Here’s how to get over past hurts, put it all together, and… go find the one for you!
  23. 23. Finally we have a research-based guide for how to sensibly select a partner Dr. John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

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