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[object Object],心动, 也要 行动
《罗生门》 (补充课文) [ 日 ]  芥川龙之介 著 [ 中 ]  楼适夷 译
 
[object Object]
[object Object],注:作者在这里把家将 比喻成壁虎 。这种手法叫做“物化”,也就是把人描写成动物(甚至是没有生命的物件)的意思。达到的效果和“拟人法”正好相反。
[object Object]
[object Object],想想看:同学们,注意到这段描写在 用词 方面有什么特点吗? (答案见下页)
一下子 一脚 一溜烟 短促 / 短暂
一下子 一脚 一溜烟 短促 / 短暂 注:这段描写出了刻画家将敏捷的身手,也侧面反映出老婆子的无能为力。因为,在面对袭击时,她根本就没有反抗的机会和能力。
 
[object Object]
[object Object],写作小贴士:心理描写要写得精彩,要把握人物 内心情感的变化 。
[object Object]
[object Object],老师的话:一个念头被另一个念头取代,作者却没有说明取而代之的,到底是什么新的念头。这是一种 “虚实结合” 的写法,那个被“丢弃”的念头清楚写出来了(实),对后来萌起的念头却没有任何交代(虚)。为什么?同学们不妨想想看。
 
[object Object],[object Object]
[object Object],[object Object],注:上周我在课上说过,结合行动和心理描写的手法,可以有 不同的“境界” 。比较简单的做法,就是在 同一个句子里 , 既写情感 , 又写相应的动作 (例:惊讶 + 跳了起来、激动 + 忘了呼吸)。
[object Object]
[object Object],注:这句的写法,“境界”比较高,因这里用了 “双线结构” , 同时写出家将在动作和心理上的变化 。同学们请看下一页的图表……
动作指数 勇气指数 0 时间 指数 双线结构
把刀插进鞘里 动作指数 勇气指数 0 时间 指数 双线结构
把刀插进鞘里 左手按着刀柄 动作指数 勇气指数 0 时间 指数 双线结构
把刀插进鞘里 左手按着刀柄 勇气就鼓起来 动作指数 勇气指数 0 时间 指数 双线结构
把刀插进鞘里 左手按着刀柄 冷淡地 听着 勇气就鼓起来 动作指数 勇气指数 0 时间 指数 双线结构
把刀插进鞘里 左手按着刀柄 冷淡地 听着 勇气就鼓起来 动作指数 勇气指数 0 时间 指数 双线结构
[object Object]
[object Object],注:这个例句虽然只写老婆子的行动,但通过她的行为和动作,我们还是可以 猜到她内心的情感变化 。实际上,作者利用行动描写, 暗示了老婆子的心理状态 。这种写法的“境界”最高,能给读者留下 想象的空间 。
 
 
动作 心理 动作和心理结合
动作 心理 动作和心理结合 ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
 

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