KINDNESS: Self, Congregation, Community, Culture American Baptist Churches of New Jersey Annual Session | October 2, 2021

1. KINDNESS
Self, Congregation, Community, Culture
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

2. ABOUT
BRUCE

3. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever.”

4. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever.”
● My own social experiment.

5. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever.”
● My own social experiment.
● Proudly Presbyterian...USA.

6. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever.”
● My own social experiment.
● Proudly Presbyterian...USA.
● Yes, #tworship happened.

7. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever.”
● My own social experiment.
● Proudly Presbyterian...USA.
● Yes, #tworship happened.
● See faith through a lens of
intersectionality and justice.

8. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever.”
● My own social experiment.
● Proudly Presbyterian...USA.
● Yes, #tworship happened.
● See faith through a lens of
intersectionality and justice.
● Pastor.

9. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever.”
● My own social experiment.
● Proudly Presbyterian...USA.
● Yes, #tworship happened.
● See faith through a lens of
intersectionality and justice.
● Pastor at @FPCPaloAlto.

10. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X. Whatever.
● My own social experiment.
● Proudly Presbyterian...USA.
● Yes, #tworship happened.
● See faith through a lens of
intersectionality and justice.
● Pastor at @FPCPaloAlto.

11. ONE
MONTH
AGO
● Breakthrough COVID
infection and hospitalization.

12. ONE
MONTH
AGO
● Breakthrough COVID
infection and hospitalization.
● Thanks to my wife.

13. ONE
MONTH
AGO
● Breakthrough COVID
infection and hospitalization.
● Thanks to my wife.
● Under the care of Dr. Vespa.

14. ONE
MONTH
AGO
● Breakthrough COVID
infection and hospitalization.
● Thanks to my wife.
● Under the care of Dr. Vespa.
● Better, but slower, for now…

15. ALL THE LINKS
Today’s Slides:
www.slideshare.net/breyeschow
Blatant Shilling of My Stuff
https://linktr.ee/breyeschow
on the Socials:
@breyeschow on all the things:
Instagram, Twitter, Faceback, etc.
eMail:
bruce@reyes-chow.com

16. AGENDA
I / Our Bodies
Languishing & Lingering
II / Congregations
Not Our Best Selves
III / Community
Disrupting Injustice
IV / Culture
The WHOLE Body
V / Chat Question & Response

17. Colossians 3:12(-15)
Common English Bible

18. Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and
loved, put on compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness, and patience.

19. Be tolerant with each other and, if
someone has a complaint against
anyone, forgive each other. As the
Lord forgave you, so also forgive
each other.

20. And over all these things put on love,
which is the perfect bond of unity.
The peace of Christ must control
your hearts — a peace into which you
were called in one body. And be
thankful people.

21. Colossians 3:12(-15)
Common English Bible

22. KINDNESS
A Definition.
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

23. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
Kindness is choice to honor the
humanity (holiness) that lies
within each and every one of us.

24. KINDNESS
Our Bodies Part I:
Languishing and Lingering
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

25. Our ability lead communities that
are holding ever-changing levels
stress, tension, and trauma are
being tested like never before.
We will not manage
our way out of trauma.

26. NAVIGATING
PANDEMIC
LEADERSHIP
.
● Political Climate
● Racial Reckoning
● Personal Stressors
● Congregational Expectations
● Professional Discernment

27. Languishing. Despair. Weariness.
&
Lingering. Grace. Hope.

28. I GOT THIS!
Immediate action!
Deep care and concern for the
people we serve.
Trying any and all things
whether or not folks asked for
them or not.
Grace, patience, and
understanding abound.

29. DEAR GOD
We overfunction.
Get overextended.
Feel overwhelm.
Try not to panic.
We Crash.
We commit to self-care.
REPEAT

30. DREAMING
Deeply embrace this time as a
real new normal.
Reflection on how you have
modeled adaptive leadership
and practices.
Begin to reimagine and dream
about the future.

31. NAMING
TRAUMA
We are leading our people
through trauma and the impact
of that on our own well-being,
sense of worth, and sense of call
are coming known in subtle and
obvious ways.
Be kind to yourself.

32. GRACE
TESTED
We are now fighting over the
best ways to move forward.
Freedom generates conflict.
Managing well the polarities of
conflict now is vital — and one
more thing to do (exhausting.)
Are we who we say we are?

33. KINDNESS
Our Bodies Part II:
Walking Away, for Now
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

34. Walking Away
“…sometimes the kind thing to
do for everyone is to walk away,
at least for a time.”

35. Walking Away
“…sometimes the kind thing to
do for everyone is to walk away,
at least for a time.”

36. Walking Away
“…sometimes the kind thing to
do for everyone is to walk away,
at least for a time.”

37. Walking Away
“…sometimes the kind thing to
do for everyone is to walk away,
at least for a time.”

38. KINDNESS
Kindness and Our Congregations:
Not Our Best Selves
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

39. NOT OUR
BEST SELVES
Especially during times of stress
and anxiety (Pandemic
anyone?), being humble and
reflective enough to know that
none of us are are best selves
right now is an act of kindness.

40. NOT OUR
BEST SELVES
Especially during times of stress
and anxiety (Pandemic
anyone?), being humble and
reflective enough to know that
none of us are are best selves
right now is an act of kindness.

41. KINDNESS
Kindness and Our Community:
Disrupting Injustice
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

42. DISRUPTING
INJUSTICE
May our call to civil discourse be
more about listening to the
genuine struggles of our human
sisters, brothers, siblings,
neighbors, and strangers than
about protecting our own
spaces of security.

43. DISRUPTING
INJUSTICE
…we force those who are acting
as agents for the system to see
us as human beings and question
what they are doing rather than
see us as ideological opposition
that can be treated with
detachment and disregard.

44. KINDNESS
Kindness and Culture:
The WHOLE Body
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

45. THE WHOLE
BODY
…dipping into the attack well of
body-shaming, racism,
misogyny, and ableism is just
lazy and we play to the
bot-fueled, troll-fed, worst of
who humans can be.

46. THE WHOLE
BODY
Humanity has known far too much COVID
sickness, death, and grief, so for those
choosing not to be vaccinated, I'm choosing
to let go of my judgmentalism and
welcoming any way folks may come to
choose differently. Suffering is not partisan
or political, so my ability to show empathy
should not be either.

47. KINDNESS
Choosing to Be Kind
American Baptist Churches of New Jersey
Annual Session | October 2, 2021

48. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
There are three ways to
ultimate success:
The first way is to be kind.
The second way is to be kind.
The third way is to be kind.
—Rev. Fred Rogers

49. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
Kindness is not a journey for the
meek and mild. For those of us
who have been steeped in ways of
being that are not kind, it takes
tremendous energy to purge
ourselves of patterns and
behaviors that are not kind. Every
day we have to choose to commit
to live out kindness that day.

50. ALL THE LINKS
Today’s Slides:
www.slideshare.net/breyeschow
Blatant Shilling of My Stuff
https://linktr.ee/breyeschow
on the Socials:
@breyeschow on all the things:
Instagram, Twitter, Faceback, etc.
eMail:
bruce@reyes-chow.com

51. QUESTION &
RESPONSE