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1. Anti-Spammers Need To Develop Better Manners

2. I sent my e-zine out last week and I received a copy of it
back. It had been forwarded to me by a subscriber. In
the subject line was a two word sentence; since most
publications and websites frown upon vulgarity,
obscenity, and profanity, I have spared you the exact
wording. Be assured, however, that Miss Manners would
definitely not approve.

3. It is understandable the frustration that people feel
when they are inundated with unsolicited commercial e-mail.
I myself get more than my fair share.

4. Despite my Internet Service Provider (ISP) enabling a
spam filter and in spite of configuring my own e-mail
program filters, I still get spam.

5. However, the situation with my subscriber is different.
He opted in and confirmed his subscription. I use an
outside service to handle my mailing lists, in part, to
protect myself from false spam complaints.

6. There are a number of possibilities here. Perhaps my
dear subscriber forgot that he subscribed and honestly
believed that he received spam.

7. Another possibility is that he didn't enjoy the content.
The correct response when someone offers you
something you don't want is "No, thank you" not
"Expletive deleted".

8. If you are offered dessert after dinner by your host and
you don't want any, simply say "No, thanks." If you
accept one piece of pie and then you're offered another,
you may either accept or decline.

9. My subscriber could simply have unsubscribed. Instead,
he retaliated (either because he believes I'm spamming
him or he doesn't like the newsletter).

10. He said "yes" when he subscribed; he can always say
"no" by unsubscribing. Again, "No, thank you" not
"Expletive deleted".

11. Related to this rudeness is the ignorance some America
Online, Inc. (AOL) subscribers show. By ignorance, I
mean that they may not even realize they are doing
anything wrong when they report e-mail they don't like
as spam.

12. AOL makes it very easy for their subscribers to report
spam. I would say they make it too easy.

13. Just click the button "Report Spam". Unfortunately,
there is no notation near that button that says "If you
subscribed, just unsubscribe." No, simply "Report
Spam."

14. And they do. Rather than unsubscribe, some AOL
subscribers will report your e-zine as spam. They opted
in and subscribed. They confirmed their subscription by
e-mail. Their name, e-mail address, IP address, and date
and time of subscribing have all been recorded. But,
they are reporting you as a spammer.

15. This, to me, goes beyond rude, as it could affect the
reputation and livelihood of the one being reported.

16. I wish I could say that receiving obscenities or threats by
e-mail is rare. Sadly, this is not the first time for me.

17. Among the many messages I receive are some that say
that the e-mail I tried to send (from some strange or
nonsensical name at my domain) was undeliverable or
blocked and is being returned to me. Of course, I never
sent that e-mail in the first place.

18. Occasionally, I receive rude (sometimes threatening) e-mails
from people who thought I sent them some of
these spoofed e-mails. This is the equivalent of swearing
at and threatening someone who you believe allowed
his dog to defecate on your lawn. The only problem is
that the man doesn't have a dog.

19. Again, I sympathize with those who are irritated by
spam. I just wish they would direct their indignation at
the spammers instead of me. In fact, Miss Manners
would have reminded us all that there is never any
excuse for rudeness.

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