In modern day communication training, we are told to be clear and concise. We use various means to check whether the person we have communicated with has understood our message etc. Over the years, I have realized that this expectation of communication that we, as a listener, often have does not apply to conversation with our Gurus. Does that mean they are not clear and concise? No, they are - but our interpretation of what we think we have heard them, makes a difference. The Catuḥpratiśaraṇa Sūtra states (of the Four Reliances): - Rely on the message of the teacher, not on his personality Rely on the meaning, not just on the words Rely on the real meaning, not on the provisional one Rely on your wisdom mind, not on your ordinary, judgemental mind Rinpoche communicates in many ways, sometimes with silence as Buddha did, sometimes saying something to one person but in fact the message may be intended for someone else who is present. When people come to Rinpoche for advice, the interpretation of what he said and really meant often differs based on what others perceive. This can sometimes lead to misunderstanding as illustrated below. A relative had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This is a degenerative nerve disease and can either last for some time or can lead to death quite quickly. I was requested to bring him and his wife to see Rinpoche. We arrived at the Bukit Timah centre on a Saturday morning when Rinpoche was teaching a meditation class. We consulted Rinpoche and he listened and consoled him. I cannot remember the exact details of whether any pujas were recommended (I think so) but as they kept asking questions about what types of treatments to pursue etc, Rinpoche finally said, “Don’t worry so much, things will be okay in the end.” Rinpoche then asked them to join the meditation class. He instructed me to distribute the King of Prayers for all of us, including my relatives, to recite. I was puzzled. Why recite an aspiration prayer for rebirth in Sukhavati at a meditation class? It then dawned on me that this was Rinpoche’s way of ensuring my relative recited this extremely beneficial prayer at least once, before his passing. A few days later, someone mentioned to me that our relative had felt better after seeing Rinpoche. She said they were all glad to hear that he would recover based on what Rinpoche said. I was surprised at that, and said, “No, Rinpoche did not say he will recover, just not to worry and that it will be okay in the end. He made the class recite the King of Prayers, and that is most recited as an aspiration for someone who is dying or dead.” The different interpretations can be seen here: my relatives had taken what Rinpoche said to mean that there was a chance of a miraculous recovery. Yet, I did not hear Rinpoche say “you will recover”. Faced with knowing quite certainly what was to happen, I felt it was almost impossible for Rinpoche to tell them that death was imminent. My relative passed

1. Conversations With My Guru
Chapter 9 :Meanings….
Live: https://www.thekchencholing.org/blog/conversations-with-my-guru-
13/post/conversations-with-my-guru-74
In modern day communication training, we are told to be clear and concise. We use
various means to check whether the person we have communicated with has
understood our message etc. Over the years, I have realized that this expectation of
communication that we, as a listener, often have does not apply to conversation with
our Gurus. Does that mean they are not clear and concise? No, they are - but our
interpretation of what we think we have heard them, makes a difference.
The Catuḥpratiśaraṇa Sūtra states (of the Four Reliances): -
Rely on the message of the teacher, not on his personality
Rely on the meaning, not just on the words
Rely on the real meaning, not on the provisional one
Rely on your wisdom mind, not on your ordinary, judgemental mind
Rinpoche communicates in many ways, sometimes with silence as Buddha did,
sometimes saying something to one person but in fact the message may be intended
for someone else who is present. When people come to Rinpoche for advice, the
interpretation of what he said and really meant often differs based on what others
perceive. This can sometimes lead to misunderstanding as illustrated below.
A relative had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This is a degenerative nerve
disease and can either last for some time or can lead to death quite quickly. I was
requested to bring him and his wife to see Rinpoche. We arrived at the Bukit Timah
centre on a Saturday morning when Rinpoche was teaching a meditation class. We
consulted Rinpoche and he listened and consoled him. I cannot remember the exact

2. details of whether any pujas were recommended (I think so) but as they kept asking
questions about what types of treatments to pursue etc, Rinpoche finally said, “Don’t
worry so much, things will be okay in the end.” Rinpoche then asked them to join the
meditation class. He instructed me to distribute the King of Prayers for all of us,
including my relatives, to recite. I was puzzled. Why recite an aspiration prayer for
rebirth in Sukhavati at a meditation class? It then dawned on me that this was
Rinpoche’s way of ensuring my relative recited this extremely beneficial prayer at
least once, before his passing.
A few days later, someone mentioned to me that our relative had felt better after
seeing Rinpoche. She said they were all glad to hear that he would recover based on
what Rinpoche said. I was surprised at that, and said, “No, Rinpoche did not say he
will recover, just not to worry and that it will be okay in the end. He made the class
recite the King of Prayers, and that is most recited as an aspiration for someone who is
dying or dead.”
The different interpretations can be seen here: my relatives had taken what Rinpoche
said to mean that there was a chance of a miraculous recovery. Yet, I did not hear
Rinpoche say “you will recover”.
Faced with knowing quite certainly what was to happen, I felt it was almost
impossible for Rinpoche to tell them that death was imminent. My relative passed
away less than six months later.
This often happens when people ask Rinpoche for advice. Rinpoche, via either
divination or other means, is often well aware of what is likely to happen. He then
skilfully has to determine how best to communicate advice to us, we who are hungry
to hear what we want to hear. At times, his advice is misunderstood and people have
been upset, with some even going to the extent of accusing Rinpoche of lying. To
avoid such a situation where we become unhappy with our Guru's advice, a certain
level of trust in the Guru - a conviction of his bodhicitta motivation - has to grow
within us first before we utilise the Four Reliances to contemplate his words.
Tenzin
19 Dec 2021