4. So,they loved bathing with me, sick people if you
ask me, but I seemed to like it a little.
No, that is not Clayton, scary how much they look
alike. I won’t say anything about Mom’s hair here,
nor about her ability to focus a camera, its
hereditary, nature, not nurture, I have it too.
5. They would like to think that they picked my
first Halloween costume, but could it have
been part of my mind-control exercises, was I
trying to warn them of their future?
9. And then, the world
changes! But, as dad
always says, “Every
problem is an
opportunity.”
We shall see, is this
a friend or an
enemy; together,
can we control this
house? Or is he, like
everything else,
gonna be my
problem? Maybe it’s
all true.
10. So, my plan to take
over the household
wasn’t actually
happening, Mom was
spending too much time
fixing her hair (maybe
not this time so much),
and Spencer seemed to
be trying to push
something smelly out all
the time. If you can’t
tell, I wasn’t happy,
dad probably did my
pigtails too tight.
12. Don’t know who this is
more embarrassing for,
me, my bro, or my
parents with their
cheap-ass furniture
and poor landscaping
choices. I am driving
Spencer’s car, I had
issues, ok! On the
other hand, that
probably was my trike
back in the day. He
can keep it now! The
diaper on the
pavement, not mine, I
am sure of that.
13. Did I tell you my parents were
terrible re-gifters. In fact, they re-
gave us the presents that we got on
Christmas Eve (from other relatives)
the next morning until I figured it
out. You’re welcome Spencer!
14. Tiny Dancer and future
media darling. I was born
before cell-phones were
popular.
18. Spencer and I loved
shoveling it, snow that is.
Me and Stacey at Aunt
Sue’s wedding.
19. Emily arrives in
1988, we now
outnumber my
parents, but as
siblings go, they now
outnumber me.
One of the few pictures of
my dad looking a little
skinny, note only one chin.
Mom still working on the hair
thing (unsuccessfully).
20. In 1989 we move, I convince my parents the
schools are better in Tinley Park than Dolton, and
that dad will really enjoy riding a train twice a
day, 5 days a week, every week (sucker!!). At least
we had a cool basement and tons of friends.
22. In 1990, my torrid
relationship with
Matt Cucio makes
the cover of The
Star (a newspaper,
one of the last ones
issued in the Chicago
south suburbs).
As you will no doubt
see, I have had
trouble with men in
my life. Trouble,
but a lot of fun too.
23. In 1992, Clayton
was added to the
foal, making Spencer
think there would be
balance in the house
(Em and I knew
better).
In 1993, we moved
to Germantown TN,
where I worked to
hone my athletic
abilities, especially
in softball.
24. I continued to grow along with my
siblings, family photos became the
bane of our existence.
27. My master growth plan changed when I
joined band in 6th grade, and stayed
until I graduated high school. I chose
the flute and eventually the piccolo
because it was easier to carry small
instruments. Please don’t draw any
conclusions about Brian from that.
28. In Dec, 2000, we went to DC,
where everyone learned:
1. Cold weather sucks!
2. Our country is pretty cool!
3. Chinese food on xmas day!!
4. We would never travel again
and use 2 rooms! (thanks again, spencer)
33. So, I went to college,
The University of
TENNESSEE
And started having to learn
from
my own mistakes:
34.
35. OK, so I would NEVER call dating
Hinson
a mistake,
nor would I call drinking
beer and jäger bombs
a mistake.
I should have straightened my
shoulders,
or maybe not taken the picture.
Damn I am cute, though!
36. In 2004, at the ripe old age of 20, a decade ago,
I started dating Brian. We found we had lots of
things in common.
48. This picture was taken at Emily and Cody’s
wedding, look closely and you will see my grandma
is asleep and my dad is holding a kleenex, he is a
big snot.
49. Last summer, when my bratty little sister got married, I
was the MOH (no definition), just had to put this in so I
could quote my dad, “life, guys, just gets better and
better.” Also, my Mom finally got her hair to look the
way she wanted too.
