1. The “Daniel” Program Story
Written by Ron Tyler
During the summer of 1997, my wife Jonna and I became licensed Foster Parents and
prospective adoptive parents. Both Jonna and I were very familiar with the child welfare
system in Peoria, Illinois and understood both the need and benefit of becoming foster
parents. We understood the realities of foster care and the behaviors of children who have
been abused and neglected.
Daniel was our second foster child. I will never forget the first time that I met him. His
caseworker showed up at our front door with Daniel. Daniel was a 7-year old bi-racial
boy, who weighed 100 lbs, and was approximately 4 feet tall. I met him and was
immediately struck by his shoes that were two sizes too small and his sad demeanor on
his very cute and rotund face. He was holding a small suitcase that looked like it was no
bigger than a lunch box. He was so adorable; I could not imagine why he was in foster
care. Needless to say, the caseworker did not have a lot of information to share either. All
we knew at this point was that Daniel needed a loving home.
The same night Daniel came into our home, I immediately took him to the store to get
new shoes and clothes. Daniel wore size 16 husky pants and had an inseam comparable to
size 10. He was excited about his new clothes and shoes. He was most proud of his shoes
because they were name brand.
Having Daniel as part of our family broadened our understanding about life. For
instance, I remember Daniel asking my wife to bake cornbread for supper. My wife
gladly obliged him with this request. She proceeded to get out a box of Jiffy mix and
make wonderful cornbread. When Daniel began eating the cornbread, he began spitting
the cornbread out of his mouth, suggesting that my wife, his foster mother, had surely
made a mistake in the creation of cornbread. I believe his exact words were, “this ain’t
cornbread, it’s too sweet”. This was one of our first lessons from Daniel. We didn’t think
anything about making cornbread in this manner, but it was something that was important
to Daniel. My wife and I still laugh about this special moment today, but are always
reminded that Daniel taught us that cornbread is not sweet.
Another lesson learned from this experience came about from Daniel’s problems in
school. Daniel struggled in educational achievement, specifically related to his behavior.
We were unaware of the many difficulties Daniel had at school, but we soon found out. I
began to get calls daily to come to the school and talk with Daniel. Many days I would
arrive at the school and see multiple school personnel surrounding him or supervising
him until I arrived. Soon the school began to recognize me by my first name. Clearly
there were multiple issues regarding school and Daniel, and soon he did begin to act out
at home.
Since my wife and I are dual career parents, it was extremely stressful on my workplace
for me to continually leave work to address the difficulties Daniel was having at school. I
tried to intervene as best I could, understanding that Daniel’s needs were of imminent

2. importance. On some days, my employer was kind enough to let me bring him to work.
On other days, I would have to take vacation time so that I could take care of Daniel.
Needless to say, this created a great deal of stress both at work and home.
In a short period of time Daniel progressively became more unruly, unstable, and a risk
of harm to others around him. He was a child who was internally struggling to address
the feelings of an abused child. He would experience what appeared to be emotional
breakdowns. These episodes would manifest in violent outbursts resulting in the
destruction of school property or his room. In some cases, he would totally withdraw and
just lie down and act like he had passed out – unresponsive to anything around him. This
was a very difficult time for Daniel; we learned we had been one of several foster
placements in a short period of time. Daniel needed help. We worked with the school
district to seek a change of schools; which worked for a very short time. We called SASS
to our home during one of his violent outburst, which provided an assessment and service
direction.
During all of this, our first foster child Steven, age 5, began reacting to the behaviors
Daniel was demonstrating. It was affecting his mental health and our ability to address
his needs. Our focus was drawn toward Daniel by his greater needs. We were a little
bewildered because Daniel had no mental health diagnosis. He was not on any
medication, but he was negatively acting out his feelings. He didn’t have a therapist at the
time. It really didn’t seem he was being adequately supported. In addition, I was quickly
running out of options at work. I couldn’t keep taking time off. We didn’t know what to
do.
After one of Daniel’s violent outbursts, our foster son Steven, now our adopted son, came
to my wife and I with Daniel’s toothbrush in his hand. Steven said, “it’s time for Daniel
to go”. I understood his feelings, but didn’t want to admit that we had failed. I looked at
this situation as a failure, although in hindsight, it is not that we failed, but that we were
not the right placement for Daniel at this time in his life. Daniel needed a parent or
parents that would be available to him during the day as well. Daniel needed a home
where he could be the soul focus of attention. Daniel needed mental health services that
were not in place during that time.
I can remember sitting in our bedroom discussing our options for Daniel. It came down to
a difficult decision; we decided to give our two-week notice and ask that the agency find
a more appropriate placement for him. The next two weeks were horrible. Daniel had
come into our home, and in a short time stolen our hearts, and was part of our family, but
we knew that we were unable to provide the amount of individual care needed by Daniel
without risking the care of our adopted son Steven.
For the next two years, I thought about Daniel often. I was a professional in the field of
social work, surely there could have been an alternative to giving our notice to remove.
Yes, there could have been an option. Soon, I would have an opportunity to develop an
alternative to placement disruption.

3. In March 1999, I left my place of employment to take on a new challenge. I took a
position with Counseling & Family Services as Director of Outreach. In this position, I
was charged with developing innovating and creative programming for the agency. It is at
this time that I proposed a Day Respite Program for adoptive and foster children
suspended from school due to behavioral and emotional problems.
On December 1, 1999, Counseling & Family Services launched the Day Respite Program
for Adoptive and Foster Children suspended from school. This was a pilot program that
was funded with a small grant from the LAN #20 Family Centered Services Initiative.
The primary goal of this program was to reduce placement disruptions of foster and
adoptive children experiencing difficulties in school by providing a safe, nurturing and
therapeutic alternative environment for foster/adoptive parents. From December 1, 1999
to June 1, 2000, the Day Respite Program served 106 foster and adoptive children
suspended from school.
On March 20, 2001, Counseling & Family Services was informed that it had been
selected as one of fourteen prevention programs to receive statewide recognition for
program excellence, which improved the well-being of children and families, prevented
child abuse and exemplified the family focused and community based philosophy of
Family Centered Services.
The Day Respite program has evolved since its inception. Today, the program is named
“Project Respite Help” and provides crisis respite services and weekly parent support
groups for families and children in the process of adoption and those that have been
adopted, between the ages of 7 and 14. We continue to provide “day respite services” for
foster children with small amounts of funding received. Our focus is expanding to
include the general community population of children ages 7-14 and to locate funding to
support offering services to this very large group.
The only reason that I am writing this story is because of the experience my wife and I
had with Daniel and Steven. It is because Daniel shared his life with us and we listened
and responded. Because of this experience, Daniel was instrumental in Counseling &
Family Services annually serving hundreds of children who were in similar
circumstances as he. I have heard that Daniel is doing well and has been adopted. I
cannot imagine a better gift for him. Thank you Daniel for all you that you have done.
Our experience with you has impacted the lives of many children and families and
continues to be a wonderful inspiration and encouragement for us to listen and respond to
hurting and needy children.
If you would like to contact Mr. Tyler, please contact him at Counseling & Family Services,
1821 N. Knoxville, Peoria, IL 61603, (309) 682-4621. He may also be reached via e-mail at
rtylercfs@yahoo.com.