1. Love, Loathe And Learn
Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook
a real story

2. First I loved
Facebook

3. I reveled in the attention,

4. and was engrossed in the
gossips.

5. I used to enjoy seeing what
others did or posting what I did,

6. You may call it stalking

7. or may be the love of self.

8. Yes, I loved my BIG ego.

9. I could say many things that I
couldn’t say on their face and
yet go scot free…

10. I was ‘connected’ without really
needing to meet or waste time.

11. I loved those surreal
experiences and

12. was thrilled with my second
world

13. I admired my own posts to no
end,

14. and cherished the persona that
I created for myself

15. Subtly but surely, Facebook
became THE only reality.

16. I was addicted, and I would not
admit.

17. My Facebook image larger than
the real me and those shoes
hard to fill

18. In real world and when I met
real people, a false sense of
familiarity overpowered the
distance

19. Now, I started
loathing myself

20. I saw that people’s opinions
about ‘me’ was not about me

21. I imagined that they saw ‘me’
as a time waster

22. Even though I compromised 4+
hours of sleep each day

23. They saw ‘me’ as jobless jack,
or so I assumed.

24. They were probably calling me
an egotist,

25. And I was getting increasingly
uncomfortable with such
notions

26. I was getting distant with
myself, unable to accept that
reality

27. Many a time, I saw them as
intruding into my private life

28. At other times, I suspected that
they were nonchalant

29. I felt terrible when people did
not ‘like’ my banal posts

30. I felt let down just because 299
‘friends’ wished on birthday.
(I have all of 943 friends)

31. I started disliking their views
and vice versa

32. I started reading too much into
what they were posting

33. I made foes out of friends more
because

34. I suspected that they knew me
more than they should about
me.

35. I started getting confused with
my innate introversion and
supposed exuberant
extroversion.

36. There were conflicts with ‘me’
and me

37. My many roles merged into one
completely and a confused
personality for all to see

38. I experienced incompleteness
as everybody seemed to be
doing awesome while my life
seemed awful

39. Dreadful, hideous, repulsive,
vile and upsetting to say the
least

40. When I have nothing to write
that day, I felt melancholic

41. No ‘like’ in 4 hours was a
misery, just as the wait for the
next like or next comment was
excruciating

42. Sleepless nights and sleeping
pills wouldn't work

43. I snapped, slapped
myself awake

44. And took a short Facebook
Sabbath. I deactivated
Facebook

45. And deleted the app from my
phone and the iPad.

46. I started running sea ward and
ran long distances, alone

47. Meditated by the beach,
Rollerbladed on sidewalks

48. Prayed and started to discover
the new ‘me’

49. That was in sync with me

50. And hence learned a
few lessons

51. Facebook in itself was not bad.
It was my own addiction

52. It was not how others saw me. It
was how I thought they saw me.

53. They did not ignore me. They
had placed importance to
themselves.

54. Not that they didn’t ‘like’ me, they
just took care of themselves.

55. The real world, real people were
intact with their pristine goodness.

56. There still existed real
meetings, real friends.

57. Online did not erase off-line
identity. They coexisted.

58. There was a lot to learn and a
lot more to unlearn.

59. So this is what I did

60. I slashed my friends’ list.
All those not regularly adding value or making make
me laugh had to go - unfollow or hidden.

61. I set a max limits on people.
Less people, less content, less gossip, more time

62. I found a good reader app
I use Flipboard to consolidate news and browse
once a day for just 20 min.

63. I time boxed my online presence.
I check Facebook only during breakfast, taxis or if I am
waiting for some one.

64. I minimized the number devices
Now my devices now serve specific functions

65. I deleted my phone app
Just the way we remove junk food from the fridge
to stick to a diet.

66. I turned to reliable content sources
I followed useful content from professionals only on
twitter, LinkedIn and tech blogs.

67. I use apps like Klout and Buffer
to schedule sharing
and wolfram alpha , retweet lab tell me on the good
times to post.

68. The results are telling

69. I’ve found myself refreshed,
focused, and energetic.

70. I re-discovered the beauty of
the world beyond inbox,
newsfeeds and comments.

71. I was easy to love and loathe, it
was arduous to step back,
breathe in and to look at one
self in the mirror.

72. And the journey continues…
#LifeIsOn #FullVolume

73. Love, Loathe And Learn
Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook

74. By a President aspirant, amateur author, doting dad, experimental
entrepreneur, passionate photographer, social media evangelist, tireless
traveler, happenstance humanoid
- Rajesh Soundararajan | @rajeshsound