Bits & Pieces II

James Stordahl
Bits & Pieces
A Grandpa Jim Blog
James Stordahl
Bits & Pieces

James Stordahl
SCHOOL SPIRIT
This shot comes from the state (Iowa) cross-country
meet. Don’t be surprised at what you find in the crowd
– “each to their own” when
supporting your local team - Kind of reminds me of an
international soccer match, or an NFL game.
Bits & Pieces

James Stordahl
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
1 Postal Circus Pg 3
2 Military Pg 25
3 Family Pg 56
4 Iowa Pg 66
5 Minnesota Pg 79
6 Alaska Pg 85
7 Retirement Pg 91
8 Writing Pg 104
9 Acting Pg 115
10 Vanity Pg 123
Bits & Pieces

James Stordahl
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
“Bits & Pieces” was called ‘DOOFUS’ for a
short time, but my wife says it sounded
strange to her and is not in keeping with my
mental health drift. DOOFUS is a fun
nickname that my grandson Easton and I toss
around. It makes him giggle and that is fun
to hear. This book is also a chance to show
some of my photography and the stories
surrounding those photos. I have been
seriously shooting photos since my US Navy
enlistment in 1975. That includes around 100
weddings.
My second book on Bipolar Disorder,
“Scatterbrain”, was written to talk about
and expand my knowledge and any reader’s
knowledge of the growing mental health
problem in our country. It is sad to report
that this country ignores mental health.
Writing and journaling has also helped me
to further understand the constant racing
thoughts in my head and to TRY to understand
my daughter’s bipolar outlook on life. She
carries the weight of the world on her
shoulders and lets everyone know it. I am
finding a lot of similarities with the
dysfunctional family life I was raised in
and the mental health struggles I am
experiencing and reading about.
The racing thoughts continue.
i

James Stordahl
1
POSTAL CIRCUS
THE PARAGON OF MEDIOCRITY
There are more than 600,000 people
working for the U.S. Postal Service. This
very important business service has been
crumbling from within since the early ‘90s.
Top heavy and overwhelmed with rampant
cronyism, it is surprising anything gets
done. USPS is falling apart from an earlier
Republican Party mandate to follow bar
graphs and pie charts to show productivity.
Time to make a profit! Stop replacing
retirees. Stop letting people take time off.
Time to raid the cash reserve! Time to
attack the old reliable cash cow!
IT’s A SERVICE, STUPID! Dropping back
on service in favor of the so-called
productivity has spelled disaster for USPS.
Add to that the plundering of the cash cow,
like no other government agency and you can
begin to understand that the end of this
agency has been pre-determined! Many
employees are hard working. Most of them are
not in any form of management – again, for a
variety of reasons. I know – I was on both
sides during my time in the Paragon of
Mediocrity.
The Postal Service was designed by
Benjamin Franklin more than 200 years ago.
It has stood the test of time, as a reliable
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Bits & Pieces
means of national door-to-door
communications. This service is meant for
communications for all. Whether you live in
remote Alaska, distant Hawaii or downtown
Des Moines, Iowa. Put a letter in the mail
and expect it to be delivered in a timely
manner. Everyone likes to get mail.
As far as a job is concerned, I had no
plan. I thought I could be a decent TV
reporter. But circumstances pointed me
towards USPS. The need for a comfortable,
regular paycheck – with a chance for yearly
improvement – and a decent retirement at the
end, caught my eye and convinced my pregnant
wife that I needed to move forward with this
service. The Postal Service sucks you in
like quicksand. The job is fairly easy and
the pay is fairly good. The benefits package
is great and the retirement benefits are
among the best for us simple folk!
Where
is the
back
window? How does this tested in Texas thing
handle?
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Bits & Pieces
One of the first aspects of working for
the postal service that becomes apparent is
that ‘sucking up’ to the boss is THE
quickest way to get promoted. There should
possible be a lot of emotional injury suits,
because you can do a great job and then get
bypassed by someone with far less education
and far less experience. There are lots of
rules and guidelines, as most government
agencies – but this business thrives on
getting your immediate bosses approval. Any
way you can!
Harvey Mackay has an essay out about
“What we look for in employees” – he
explains how employees need to hold valued
character traits. I was particularly drawn
to one item where he explains to newcomers
what kind of behavior is admired and what
kind of behavior they deplore. Item 4 on his
list: “We despise toadies who suck up to
their bosses. They are generally the same
people who bully their subordinates.”
BINGO – US Postal Service spot on!
I consider my last ten years with USPS as
being the primary cause of my debilitating
depression and subsequent early retirement.
Once there is any tarnish on your star, you
will need some intervention from above.
There is nowhere to reach out in USPS. Many
managers are in that mindset that you need
to suck-it-up. Complainers get pushed down
the food chain. The ‘good-old-boys’ network
has no room for whistle-blowers. It just
happens to have happened within the great
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Bits & Pieces
Pirate Ship called the U.S. Postal Service.
Aerial view of Appleton, WI - I was selected
to manage the state’s 5th largest post
office serving a population of 85,000 –
With 205 employees, 7 supervisors, 3
accounting techs, a government car and a
secretary.
Getting the Appleton (WI) Postmaster job
was the culmination of years of perfecting
my postal resume, years of traveling to
interviews, and polishing my gift of postal
gab. This was a career-changer. A level-22,
upper management position which would bring
me into a six-figure income. The interview
process was a slam dunk! The hiring manager
called me many times to let me know that I
was the chosen one and that I should not get
busy going after anything else. I had told
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Bits & Pieces
them during my interview that I was in the
promotion package for three other
Postmasters positions. I could have used any
number, because I always had a couple
postmaster applications going somewhere in
the country.
Daughter
Jenna with
son Easton
riding the
SkyRide at
the Iowa
State
Fair.
One very sad chapter in my postal life
was running across a very anal and misguided
middle manager in Milwaukee who did not like
one of my very minor pre-move purchases. He
thought the use of my government credit card
for a move-related expense was premature and
he took it upon himself to ‘roast’ me before
I even left Iowa. He set about to get me
removed from the postal service. He
tarnished my name and I had to fight for
justice with the National Association of
Postmasters representing me in a drawn out
legal action to save my NEW job! I was not
ready for the sabotage from Milwaukee and
the backlash of being considered a favorite
of one of the review board members. The
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Bits & Pieces
damage was done before I got there and there
was no one to help. My manager was new at
her job and did not want to buck the upper
management in Milwaukee. I was under a cloud
from DAY ONE! There was no welcome!
Robin Williams,
the beloved
comic who
committed
suicide,
struggled with
depression and
substance
abuse. His 2013
diagnosis of
Parkinson’s
disease was
just too much
to bear.
More than 60% of people with Parkinson’s
in a 2012 study reported depression, and 18%
reported severe , major depression. Patients
often report that depression is more
burdensome to them than tremors and movement
problems.
Bipolar has a simple definition. It
means of two poles, as in polar opposite.
Meaning two different places. Bipolar
disease is a severe mood disorder that
presents itself with both manic actions and
thoughts and depression.
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Nearly 3 in 4 older Americans have two
or more chronic health conditions,
which often are diagnosed and treated
by different doctors.
According to the National Institute of
Mental Health, 5.7 million people struggle
with bipolar disorder, studies have found
that 50% start showing signs before age 19.
Betsy showed signs at age 14, I’m being told
that 15-17 was my jumping off point. Bipolar
disorder and depression continue to explode
throughout the U.S. The resulting family
disruptions, job losses and downgrades, and
suicides SHOULD raise a red flag with
someone!
Enjoying
a 9 AM
ice cream
breakfast
at Le
Mars
Annual
Ice Cream
Festival.
There is no clear consensus as to how
many types of bipolar disorder exist. The
disease name gets thrown around TV and
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Bits & Pieces
movies as some terrible, tragic event. The
diagnosis appears to be a scary result of
some very confused genes and chromosomes.
Here are three definitions:
• Bipolar I disorder – A depressive or
hypomanic episode is not required for
diagnosis, but it frequently occurs.
• Bipolar II disorder – (This appears to
be my domain) - No manic episodes, but
one or more hypomanic episodes and one
or more major depressive episode.
• Bipolar disorder NOS (not otherwise
specified) – This is a catchall
category, diagnosed when the disorder
does not fall within a specific subtype.
My disorder appears to be somewhere
between the BPII and the Bipolar NOS. It
controlled my life from 17-32 – then went
away, for the most part, when I was married
and raising children. The stress of two jobs
and raising a family was not hard after the
hurricane in my brain, up to that point.
Betsy is definitely Bipolar I. Monstrous
mood swings and a very erratic behavior
pattern that needs constant medication. Her
teachers had no clues. Some people who have
read my first book, Bipolar Dad, are now
commenting to us that they just could not
put their finger on the actions she was
taking. But, they knew she was different.
Betsy’s travels down this dark and
treacherous road has been a bumpy one.
Changes in mood, changes in medications,
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Bits & Pieces
changes in doctors, changes in governments
programs that used to help, getting kicked
off SSI with NO warning. Getting dropped
from Medicaid and put onto Medicare. What a
paperwork and phone call nightmare!
Little boy Griffin discovering an old
cellphone that was quite a plaything for
him.
My destiny was ready to unfold around
12, with the disorder starting around age 14
or 15. The wild thoughts and erratic
actions from age 16 to 30 will keep me busy
journaling for years. I mean – some crazy
shit went down, dude! My daughter Betsy went
off the deep end when she became a woman –
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Bits & Pieces
early age 14. We had no idea how this would
affect us and the entire family. It altered
my career and our marriage. We all stayed
together, but the damage is only apparent as
we grow older. The lack of resources, the
loss of income, the depression we all seem
to suffer. Kind of like we are all on the
same Ferris wheel. We all go up and we all
go down. If only I had reached out for help
and found it earlier in my life. I probably
would not be trying to explain myself at 67
– maybe I could be at my lake cabin writing
a great murder-mystery? But then, I’m
learning that bipolar sufferers are the last
to know.
Cold weather has never stopped the grandkids
from going outside. Here Griffy meets our
front porch Santa.
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Bits & Pieces
Got an e-mail from a local movie producer –
they were looking for 3 ‘older’ guys to
portray desperate souls -- Here we are with
the guy who just jumped to his death, off
the building behind us. The independent
movie “Impulse” was shot in Perry, IA.
You get to meet lots of new people. Many
of them have regular jobs and are in it for
the first time. Some are ‘junkies’ that have
stood in line before and like getting the
little ‘fix’ that acting can do for you.
Since the movies starting being made in
Iowa, in 2008, I have been increasingly
active in independent films, as well as
local commercials. Mostly background
business, but very satisfying. Being on-
camera is always cool!
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Bits & Pieces
My first dysfunctional depression hit
when I was around 10 years old. It followed
an episode where I was being teased. I think
it was by a girl. Does not make that much
difference now, because teasing and the
inability to handle it has been one of my
great weaknesses. I just do not react well.
I can sulk and pout for days and weeks. I
think the episodes have overlapped many
times.
It has been 50 years since that first
recalled depression and I have finally been
diagnosed with bipolar illness. I feel
grateful for this discovery because I
finally have a reason for my irrational,
manic behavior. I now know why I have been
labeled as “My own worst enemy”. Too much
effort to be accepted, too much talk to get
my point across, too many altered views of
ways to get things done.
Daughter
Clare
snuggling with little Halle during a family
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outing at The Machine Shed
Turning your dreams into reality appears
to be the major staple of successful people.
They have an idea and they pursue it. They
have the grit to go after what they want.
They don’t hold back. A good friend in
Minneapolis, a very successful salesman,
told me that we are products of our
environment. Now I know what he meant.
Will my child inherit bipolar disorder?
That is a question I never asked anyone
until Betsy displayed the traits. Many
prospective parents have asked that of
Marcia Purse, writer on About.com-Bipolar
Disorder. Here are some of the statistics
from a 2003 study:
1.) A child of one parent with bipolar
disorder and one without has a 15 to
30% chance of having BP.
2.) If both parents have bipolar
disorder, there is a 50 to 75% chance
that a child of theirs will, too.
3.) If you already have one child with
BP, there is a 15 to 25% chance that
another of your children will also
have it.
All these chances are much higher than
for children born to parents without a
history of bipolar disorder. It is also
possible that your child may develop another
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Bits & Pieces
condition such as major depression, ADHD,
obsessive-compulsive disorder, or
oppositional defiant disorder.
And, of course (according to RN Marcia
Purse), nothing says that having a child
with a mental disorder – whether it appears
in childhood or later in life – won’t still
be a wonderful, fulfilling experience.
This shot, with my new glasses and ‘new’
teeth, was taken in our back yard for an
online audition for a commercial opportunity
in St. Louis. I made the next-to-last cut,
before they again went with a local guy who
could get there in a half-hour
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Bits & Pieces
Investor’s Business Daily identified 10
traits for turning your dreams into reality.
A definite goal. Winners set goals, losers
make excuses. Bipolar sufferers have goals –
lots of them, or do we?
A courageous spirit. Courage is ordinary
people doing extraordinary things.
An inquisitive mind. Lifelong learning.
A strong heart. Use your head, to be sure,
but don’t ignore what your heart is telling
you.
An analytical brain.
Do your homework, get the facts.
Bipolar sufferers don’t have time for
homework!
A focused eye. Too many irons in the fire?
Too little time? Too many emails? – Bipolar
sufferers can’t focus.
A fearless approach. Innovate. Be different.
A disciplined tongue. He or she who burns
bridges better be a very good swimmer.
Burning bridges is a hobby of bipolar
sufferers. It is impossible to curb your
tongue. You have to speak your confused mind
to let off the pressure.
A clear conscience. Always act like your
mother is watching. My mother passed away 10
years ago!
My sad story is within my head every day.
Through extensive therapy I can recall
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Bits & Pieces
awkward reactions to a number of life’s
situations. Embarrassments. Teasing.
Bonehead ideas. Knucklehead reactions.
Nonchalant responses to situations that
demanded better. Erratic behavior never
challenged. A secretive approach developed
to deal with everything. No important
discussions at home. A very distant father
who never discussed serious matters.
Just ran into a friend and asked him to snap
this photo -- Some of my clan getting ready
to enjoy the Iowa State Fair – (l to r) me,
Emily, Charlotte, Jenna, Daron (holding
Halle)-- Griffy and Easton in front.
Is it hereditary? Is it just me? Now it
makes no difference. I just have to continue
to understand and learn more about this
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Bits & Pieces
irritating, debilitating disease. Getting
the diagnosis is scary. Getting your head
wrapped around the ‘fuzzy’ way you deal with
life is like watching a movie with someone
doing wrong things in their life. My
hindsight is clear. Only problem is that I
am reliving stupid comments and sad
reactions that could have turned out
differently. I’ve got a long list of do-
overs!
Observation:
Have you ever noticed that weddings
fill from the front and funerals fill
from the back?
Getting a handle on your mental health,
when you think there are red flags, is a
never ending struggle. First, you have to
consider that there might be something
amiss. You need to become aware that there
is a consistency to your behavior. After so
many years of thinking many thoughts in many
directions I am growing very tired. I have
drawn a long breath and have decided that
focusing on the day-to-day is all I can do.
There is no more time to develop any game
plan.
Are the thoughts in your mind organized?
Are they similar to other people’s thoughts?
Are you all by yourself? Can you change the
way you act?
Unfortunately, the word “bipolar” is
used as a catchall. One commenter to
About.com-Bipolar Disorder states: “People
in mental health have done a tremendous
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Bits & Pieces
disservice to millions of people with their
loose use of the word, throwing it around no
matter whether a person is severely
afflicted with Bipolar I to the degree of
hallucinations and multiple suicide attempts
or whether a person has been LABELED because
he/she had a single major depressive episode
and a single hypomanic episode, or 3 or 4
in their entire lifetime of 65+ years and
went to a shrink”.
This photo reminds me of how I sometimes
feel, and how daughter Betsy must feel
during many decision making processes. It
can also serve as a model for how bipolar
sufferers feel within, at many times of
their lives.
Guns pop up in every paper I have read
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Bits & Pieces
in the past few months. Lots of guns and
lots of violence. Our society seems to have
gone crazy over gun laws and regulations.
The National Rifle Association (NRA) has
taken the Second Amendment and ruined our
society.
In July, a Pennsylvania doctor shot a
patient who just killed his caseworker. The
psychiatric outpatient opened fire inside a
psychiatrist’s office at a hospital near
Philadelphia, killing the caseworker and
slightly wounding the doctor. The doctor
shot the gunman with his personal firearm.
Even for those that do not suffer from
an altered mental health state, there are
immense challenges facing all of us right
now. Dana Milbank (danamilbank@washpost.com)
has written in Another View in the Des
Moines Register, Thursday, July 17, 2014 –
Another swing and a miss for Obama. In it he
states that the Wall Street Journal ran an
article reporting that “the breadth of
global instability now unfolding hasn’t been
seen since the late 1970s” and that “U.S.
global power seems increasingly tenuous.”
Researchers at the University of Essex
found that 94% of those who exercised
-walking, running, cycling, gardening
--saw mental health benefits.
Arianna Huffington
The Wall Street Journal’s catalog of
woes – civil wars in Iraq and Syria,
hostilities between Israel and the
Palestinians, an electoral crises in
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Bits & Pieces
Afghanistan, tension with Russia over
Ukraine, floundering nuclear negotiations
with Iran and renewed Chinese expansionism –
didn’t include the current crises on the
United States southern border. And a
Congress that does not work.
Add to this mess the everyday
dysfunction of the worst U.S. Congress in
our history and a splintered electorate
value-programmed by a violence plagued TV
world!
Grandson Griffin always liked to be pushed
or pulled around the house in my laundry
hamper 
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Bits & Pieces
Bipolar has a wide range of symptoms:
the intense and often dangerous highs and
psychosis of mania, the unrestrained nature
of hypomania in both bipolar II and
cyclothymiacs, and the varying degrees of
depression. Certain behaviors are
characteristic of bipolar disorder (formerly
called manic depression).
Symptoms of mania: Mania is a hallmark
state in bipolar disorder. An episode of
mania can quickly spiral out of control,
causing a great deal of disruption and
mayhem for the individual and his or her
loved ones. Thus, it is important to be
familiar with the warning signs of mania.
But who watches for such a thing? Was a
mother of the 50’s able to diagnose? Was
discipline the first course of action?
Symptoms of depression: Mania/hypomania
is the upswing of manic depression, and
depression is the downsizing. An episode of
depression may be very debilitating, often
leaving the sufferer with significant
problems in functioning. It is an extreme
emotional state that impairs daily living,
so it is important to be familiar with the
warning signs of depression.
Suicide: It is estimated nearly 30% of
those diagnosed with bipolar disorder will
attempt suicide at least once in their
lives. The suicide rate is 20 times that of
the general population.
One recent study, published online in
Pediatrics, tells us nearly 6 million kids
have a disability. More parents - especially
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Bits & Pieces
upper-income ones – are reporting their
children have a physical, developmental or
mental health disability. Cases related to a
mental health condition, such as attention-
deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD),
learning disabilities or emotional problems,
have increased 21%, between 2001 and 2011.
As a Windstar tour-bus driver taking Ankeny
educators to a 4-day seminar in St. Louis, I
enjoyed the sights, sounds and food.
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Leaders keep their eyes on the
horizon, not just on the bottom line.
- Warren Bennis
2
Military Service
Two Boot Camps
There are many US citizens that have no
idea what goes into joining any of the
military services. Each service has its own
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Bits & Pieces
boot camp. That is the initial 8-9 weeks of
indoctrination and organization. Through the
years they have been tougher than they are
now. Drill sergeants used to be able to lay
their hands on you. But, no more.
Going through two boot camps only seems
peculiar as I grow older and discover more
about being bipolar. I did not think much
about it at the time – my brother-in-law did
the honors on the second time around. I was
really searching for something, some type of
guidance, and the stories I heard were
enough to move in the direction of the US
Navy. That is one decision I do not regret.
I enjoyed the Navy. I would have stayed in
if my wife had been OK with it. She helped
me decide to return to Minnesota to be
closer to relatives.
World War II brought the Greatest
Generation together. Vietnam tore the
baby boomers apart.
The Army came first, in 1967. Fort Ord,
CA was the scene and Vietnam was the end
result. This was also the days before
integrating girls into the mix. My next
boot camp ( a major bipolar bubble in my
brain) was Navy boot camp at San Diego, CA.
Tourists going into
one of the old
barracks that held
more than 500
men for 8 weeks at
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Bits & Pieces
a time – we did pushups out front!
It was during the Navy boot camp where I
was selected to be Recruit Chief Petty
Officer (RCPO), in charge of 80 recruits
during the hours when the real training
chief petty officer went home. This also
worked out well because I was named top
recruit for that training cycle, winning the
American Spirit Honor Award. As the top
recruit out of 1400 for that cycle, I got to
stand in front of the entire battalion to
receive recognition. I was also the honored
guest at a luncheon following.
At the luncheon, following the graduation
ceremony, guests gathered to meet-and-greet.
I met the San Diego Mayor, a Congressman I
can’t remember, the Commandant of the Naval
Training Center, a variety of parents from
around the U.S., and Admiral James Bond
Stockdale, the longest held (and highest
ranked) Prisoner of War during the Vietnam
conflict.
In Navy
boot
camp, I
started
as the
head of
the rifle
drill
team then
switched
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to sing in the Blue Jackets Choir.
Again, the bipolar shadow appeared and I
felt like it was unfair for a 28-year-old to
be honored over so many teens and early 20-
somethings. I felt unworthy of this honor.
There were no visitors from home, because I
could not afford to fly any of them out. I
would guess that being 26, when most others
were 18-20 was a plus. And having gone
through Army boot camp 8 years earlier would
be another plus.
My bipolar brain did not digest that
because I thought this was just another
adventure. The American Spirit Honor Award
medal gathers dust.
For those that do not know about military
boot camps – take a look at this – it is
very accurate.
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Bits & Pieces
My Navy tour of duty took me and
Charlotte to the beautiful state of
Virginia. I enlisted with a guarantee that I
would be trained and serve as a journalist.
My brother-in-law, Dale Simpson, was a Navy
recruiter serving in Duluth, MN. He got me
the best deal he claimed was possible for
me. I believed it. My boot camp was in sunny
San Diego, CA and my training took place at
Fort Ben Harrison, in Indianapolis, IN. Next
stop was a 3-year assignment at the Atlantic
Fleet Audiovisual Command, Naval Station,
Norfolk, VA. I was one of the original
members to produce a half-hour video news
program called “Telescope”.
The aircraft
carrier USS
Nimitz was tied
to Pier 12, at
Norfolk Naval
Base, when I was
onboard for the
filming of “Final
Countdown”.
The writing assignments and travel for
“Telescope” were exceptional. Once I got on
the aircraft carrier USS Nimitz while they
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were filming the movie “Final Countdown”. I
got to rub shoulders with actors Martin
Sheen and Charles Durning. When my
enlistment was finished I had the chance to
go on with my Navy career with an assignment
at the USC film school. Here again, my
bipolar brain told me to get back to the
comfortable surroundings of Minneapolis, MN.
My best friend in the Navy, Jimmy Cocklin,
went on to USC and ended up as a White House
photojournalist. The White House has always
had a Navy film crew on hand since President
John F. Kennedy first established to
assignment.
One great
assignment
with the
Naval
Reserve was
working in
the Public
Affairs
office at
the Naval
Postgrad
School in
Monterrey,
CA.
One huge highlight for me (a postal-Navy
connection) was during a postal service
training trip to Washington, DC. My pal,
Jimmy, now on the White House film crew
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following his USC training, came over to my
hotel to pick me up in a staff car. He gave
me a guided tour of the White House at
night, while then President Ronald Reagan
was visiting China. It was such an
incredibly amazing experience. Stepping into
the Oval Office, talking to Secret Service
agents, getting checked in and out of the
White House. It reminded me of what I missed
by not staying in the Navy and not going to
USC. Regrets – hindsight – second-guessing
the choice to get out of the Navy and go
back to Minnesota. All very fireworks, kind
of out of control experiences of a bipolar.
We came to Iowa in 1987, with a 5-year game
plan – we have just celebrated our 26th
year
in the same house – one reason: a good job,
a safe town, and being blessed with great
neighbors, like Sue Hamblin (2nd
from left)
and Cindy and Biff Renner.
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While on the subject of military
service, we all need to keep sharper focus
on being prepared for duty. As I am writing
this (July, 2014), The Wall Street Journal
has been cited in the Des Moines Register in
an article called Another View. The author
is Dana Milbank, a columnist for The
Washington Post (danamilbank@washpost.com),
is writing about President Obama’s lack of
leadership in this turbulent times. The
Journal’s catalog of woes – civil wars in
Iraq and Syria, hostilities between Israel
and the Palestinians, an electoral crises in
Afghanistan, tension with Russia over
Ukraine, floundering nuclear negotiations
with Iran and renewed Chinese expansionism –
didn’t include the current crises on the
U.S. southern border.
And to add to this mess – a Malaysian
Airliner has been shot down over Ukraine
with 279 fatalities! Who did it and why? How
can something this tragic happen? I can’t
stop thinking about the 80 young children,
singing, playing and maybe napping when the
Russian SAM blasted the jetliner!
Little Mr.
Easton
getting ready
to take a
tractor and
wagon ride
around one of
our favorite
eateries –
the Machine
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Shed.
Veterans Day brings out the emotions.
Young kids learn patriotism and veterans
learn to open up and share. People put out
flags and sing patriotic songs. Parades
march by honoring those that have served.
Cemeteries are visited and flowers are
displayed. So much continues to bottled up
inside. Each year military vets end up on
TV, or radio, being brought to tears over
their experiences. We are a make-war
country. International bullies – sometimes
called “Policeman to the world”. Each year
we revisit to mental trauma known as war.
This gun-and-run country will never learn.
As I write this, President Obama is on TV
with a Special Report – we are again
dropping bombs in Iraq and dropping food and
water to save some 40,000 refugees running
from a new threat called ISIS.
One week later (Aug. 2014) – a beheading
in Iraq by a vicious group of radicals
called ISIS now has the war drums beating
around the country and a possible escalation
of the bombing campaign that may bring us
across the border into Syria. Holy Cow! We
cannot stay out of a war posture. Evil has
grown and is out of control in the land
where it all began.
For many people with bipolar disorder,
the ability to maintain gainful activity –
the ability to work – is seriously
compromised. Debilitating depressions,
manic-based bad decisions, struggles with
medications and side effects, as well as
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psychotic features, panic attacks and other
extreme symptoms of this illness, make it
difficult for some to obtain or hold a job.
The problems with loss of gainful
activity are obvious. No work equals no
money and no insurance. No money equates to
unpaid bills, late fees, compounding
interest. No insurance means accumulating
medical bills and missed prescriptions.
Time continues to speed by since this first
day of kindergarten photo with the Meyers.
After playing men’s league softball
(prior to marriage) I feel that something
has gone wrong with many current male
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priorities. Playing any sport, after
marriage, is a sign of not letting go of
your youth activities. That is all good, to
a point. Keeping in contact with friends,
staying in good enough shape to play some
ball, staying off the couch as long as you
can. The time arrives (childbirth, job
promotion, family gatherings) when you
sacrifice your whims for the greater family
good. Your kids need you. Your wife needs
you. Your future needs you to make that
transition to adulthood.
My only
homerun
(except
for tennis
court
homerun
derby) was
during a
softball
game while
I was in
the Navy.
It was one
of the
best
feelings
EVER!
Ever met anyone who has gone through the
military boot camp scene more than once? I’m
sure they are out there, but I’ve not met
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Bits & Pieces
any. I mean, a large percentage of eligible
men don’t go to a first boot camp. What kind
of a mindset does it over again? For me it
shows the ‘makeover’, or ‘do-over’ aspect of
my bipolar brain. “That didn’t work so well,
so let’s try something different!”
But then the draft kept all of us guys
on our toes in the 60’s. It gave you the
chilling effect that ‘Big Brother’ was
watching you and you had better step up to
the plate or find some suitable alternative.
The national draft was a controlling factor
in the lives of most families.
A rainy day walk back from getting the
morning coffee at Hy-Vee
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Bits & Pieces
Facing up to the military ‘thing’ kept
us all in line. The possibility of getting
drafted kept us all focused. Trouble makers,
with minor offenses were told by the judge
to join the Army today – grow up. For many
of us, the Reserve or National Guard has an
appeal. We could display our patriotism,
without the threat of going to a foreign
country and have some stranger try to kill
us. But President George W. Bush changed
that with his ‘backdoor’ draft – activating
the National Guard and Reserve units around
the country.
Whenever I think about the military, I
am drawn to the premise that we are all
ready to serve (NOT!) – with the idea that
we will all be going home after the service
is done. The draft kept most of us in order
up until the end of the Vietnam War. I still
do not understand how this country, with its
thirst for getting involved in conflicts all
around the world, could EVER dismiss or drop
the draft.
Are you kidding me? Lots of wars means
lots of men and women serving. Did the
goofballs who cancelled conscription (the
draft) have any sense of history? Who was
running that show? Did the clowns in DC
think that an all-volunteer service would
pan out? What do they think of their
screwball message now?
We are again bombing in Iraq. Thousands
of troops died, hundreds of thousands came
back wounded, and we spent BILLIONS of tax
dollars in a misguided effort to bring
democracy to a tribal environment. A new
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form of Al Qaeda has developed in the form
of ISIS (Islamic State in Iraq and Syria).
They are more murderous and vicious than Al
Qaeda and they have all the weaponry we left
behind. Now we are bombing our own
armaments.
Our country is now so dysfunctional that
we need a task force to design a way for
people to be successful.
Warren Bennis, who wrote more than 30
books on leadership, has developed a four-
question for people seeking success in life.
1.) Do you know the difference between
what you want and what you’re good
at?
2.) Do you know both what drives you and
what gives you satisfaction?
3.) Do you know both your own priorities
and values, and those of the
organization you work for?
4.) Can you identify the differences
between the two alternatives in each
of the above questions – and can you
overcome those differences?
“If you can,” he wrote, “then success
will be yours. In a nutshell, the key to
success is identifying those unique modules
of talent within you and then finding the
right arena to use them.”
From perspective, bipolar sufferers do
not stay on task long enough to assess the
outcome. There are so many alternatives.
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There remains a daily unsettling aspect
to all things that I do. There is a constant
battle for space. So much to do and so
little time. Start thinking about something
and then another agenda will pop up.
Sometimes the room is so crowded that I must
shut my eyes to try to sort things out. The
more I try to analyze something, the more it
gets ‘fuzzy’, then the next item up for bid
shows up.
One example of a manic phase has just
subsided as I was trying to focus on whether
to travel to Omaha for a “cattle call”
audition for a Union-Pacific commercial. At
first, I had an audition time, then the
California crew changed the venue and also
turned the call into a first-come-first-
served situation. The pay would have been
$1250, but the 4-hr commute and iffy
audition shifts exhausted me and I decided
to stay home.
Since early age, I have always been drawn to
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Bits & Pieces
and fascinated by cloud formations –
sunrise, sunset – makes no difference to me.
Now that I am drifting along the “Going
Home” theme, I recall a Letter-to-the-
Editor that I wrote to the Walker Pilot.
Mom’s local newspaper when she and Dad lived
up north. I felt that the announcement
letter was something I should write, due to
the way my sister had dismissed my mother
and moved her “One-Way” to the Madelia
Nursing Home for supposed end-of-life time.
My sister had decided (in her mind) that
taking care of my mother had become too much
of a burden, so her surgery and pending
hospitalization was a grand chance to
eliminate the next door “inconvenience”.
One day when I was combing my mother’s
hair, she grabbed my arm and made me promise
that I would move her back to Walker when
she got better. She did recover and I moved
her back to her home. A home that had
already been purged of her photo albums and
her cache of precious letters for over the
years that she stored in the bottom drawer
of her desk. She was devastated at the
actions and never really recovered from the
betrayal of trust.
Walker (MN) Pilot
Returning home to Leech Lake
When my mother first moved to Walker in
1966, she cried because she was moving away
from her friends and family and relatives in
southern Minnesota. Northern Minnesota was a
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Bits & Pieces
strange and distant land to her. She did not
care to sit in a boat and fish and she was
not used to being surrounded by so many
large trees.
She reluctantly came north with her
husband, Mike Stordahl, to settle on the
original Peterson homestead across from
Hiawatha Beach. She was a dutiful wife and
mother and her man was following his dream.
Now, some 35 years later (2001), she finds
herself heading in the same direction.
Returning to northern Minnesota, alone,
after surgery and recovery, to live her
twilight years in the house she shared with
Dad.
After seven months of recovery in a
nursing home in southern Minnesota, she has
recovered sufficiently to return to the town
she loves. For me, I was not surprised when
she said she wanted to go back. There is an
almost mystical feeling when I think about
Walker, because my family has been setting
aside our lives and heading north for those
same 35 years. I’m not much of a fisherman,
but I really enjoy giving it a try.
I have always made it a point for my
Twin City wife and our four daughters to
enjoy all that is available in the Leech
Lake area. Bemidji is fun, Itasca State Park
is always beautiful, and the sunsets on
Leech Lake are worth the effort. And now my
grown girls are coming north on their own.
You folks enjoy something special!
Helen Stordahl has had open heart surgery
(Fargo, ND) and two subsequent bouts with
viruses that have kept her down for some
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Bits & Pieces
time. But now that she has recovered, she
has announced that she is to pack her bags
and move back to the area where she has
grown to love over the years. At 80 years of
age we will be keeping a closer eye on her
now. The family encourages all of her
friends to mark Sept. 16 on their calendar …
and give her a call at 547-1679.
Jim Stordahl, Ankeny, IA
Charlotte just finished 2 weeks
cleaning out the garage, which ended up with
her making about $500. She worked very hard
on the project and now Griffy and Halle have
a new play area – the garage. Halle left
yesterday, telling Charlotte that “It’s
always fun coming to Grandma’s house!” Now
how about that for a payback. Charlotte told
her friends that there was a lot more talk
and chatting because I was there, on
Saturday. I take that as a compliment.
Being a grandfather was an expected
event in my life. I mean, when you have
children you expect them to do the same. My
daughters have presented me with grandsons.
What a treat to do boy-things again! Not
that I have any favorites, that is not
possible, as they are all special.
What is traumatic? Being yelled at?
Being embarrassed? Being put down or having
your self-esteem diminished by someone you
trust? For me it was always the perception
of being overlooked or ignored. Not taken
seriously. Lack of credibility. Who are you
to second guess my ideas and thoughts –
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Bits & Pieces
don’t you think I’ve studied the item we are
discussing? Give me a break!
Being a grandpa is the MOST fun. Here we are
getting ready to wander around the Des
Moines Farmers Market with grandson Easton,
who would then be headed out to play ball.
When I studied at the University of
Minnesota (taking a bus, because I had no
car), I also worked a full time job, was
active once a month with the Army Reserves,
kept up a number of relationships, drank
heavily and still had time for some very
wild thoughts. My grades at the University
of Minnesota were average (2.5 GPA). There
was no goal in mind. Just having fun.
Catching up to younger, more organized
folks. Always very sensitive to any
suggestion of shortcomings.
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Bits & Pieces
Our parties at 2414 Elliot Ave. S.
were LEGENDARY!
We were always having a party! For at
least 6 years! Sometimes 50-60 people, with
6-8 staying all weekend. My roommate Brad
and I had stumbled onto a great old mansion
in a tough part of south Minneapolis. It was
sometimes referred to as “Indian Town” due
to all the Native Americans that were in the
vicinity. You could rely on lots of
inebriated folks at any place you went. And
nighttime was an especially cautious time to
be outside.
We were all big enough to keep people
wary of any hassles at our address. We never
had problems and visitors were under
control. There also was a lot of activity
with someone at the address all the time. I
don’t think all the lights were ever off. We
had police, firefighters, and ambulance
drivers in uniform to keep the whole aura of
credibility – and keep us from being busted.
Leaders should always expect the very
best of those around them. They know
that people can change and grow.
Warren Bennis
Some people in a manic state experience
severe anxiety and are irritable. It comes
like a flood of caffeine in your system. The
acceleration is sometimes scary – it happens
so fast. Sometimes it is something that is
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said, that should have been kept to
yourself. Or an action that should have been
better thought out.
For me, the exhaustion always leads to a
need to change jobs, change friends, change
locations. Out-lasting or running ahead of
the racing thoughts comes to mind. It is a
survival mode.
My youth was spent playing all the sports
that an able-bodied young boy would play. I
had a good arm for baseball, but a weakness
for swinging at curveballs on the outside
corner. I played basketball, but got over
confident and ruined my chances to play on
the “A” team when I expected to play without
much intense practicing. I played football,
but found an excuse to bail-out when I could
not afford decent spikes and the team did
not have enough BIG helmets to go around.
In
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TalkeetnaAlaska – at the base of the big
mountain – all the shops have clever little
colorful moose in their front entrance.
During these early years (age 11-14), I
was fairly optimistic about life and my
future. There was still that safe, small-
town aura about everything we did in those
days. I just read another great article by
Harvey Mackay, the author of the New York
Times No. 1 best seller “Swim With the
Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.”
(harvey@mackay.com)
Mr. Mackay writes about U.S. President
Harry S. Truman once saying, “A pessimist is
one who makes difficulties of his
opportunities and an optimist is one who
makes opportunities of his difficulties.”
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In 2005, when daughter Jill gave me a call,
I became aware that I more grandchildren.
Here, Grandson Nick Norby, enjoys a cold
drink. Now 14, the big guy enjoys playing
many sports. Excelling in baseball,
football, basketball and ATV racing.
My early talents were all diminished by
my early bipolar excuse of finding excuses.
Then it was locker room and shower trauma
that many young boys endure. I did not
handle it well. Failures in high school
sports was the beginning of my “I don’t
really care” life.
When I was 10, my Dad introduced me to
Soap Box Derby. He did most of the work,
with me and my brother watching and helping
where we could. Dad had got the idea from a
good friend (from the American Legion, of
course). My first Derby, in Mankato, MN, was
almost my last – due the fact that I won
five races in a row and then had the choice
of which lane to take and I made the mistake
of taking the sunny lane – the right lane –
the one that was now in the sunshine. The
racers in that lane were slowing down in the
late afternoon, due to the sunshine
softening the tar. I lost the championship
in a photo finish, by inches. The winner, in
his last year of competition, won the chance
to go to the National Soap Box Derby in
Indianapolis, IN.
The Soap Box Derby was such fun and
working with my Dad was quite an experience.
I was still very apprehensive of his short
temper. He would not hesitate to quickly
correct me when I was slow on a project. It
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Bits & Pieces
was probably the only time we worked
together on anything. He was not around for
any school activities or any scouting
activities. I had to ‘borrow’ a friends Dad
for a Father-Son scout dinner. That is an
experience that really got me down.
This photo is similar to my 1961 photo
finish at the Mankato Soap Box Derby. So
close! – INCHES away from winning it all in
my first year – but NO, choosing the wrong
lane, after I had won the coin toss – a
wrong decision doomed my chances. This
mistake foretold an erratic youth to come! I
competed for three more years. Along with my
brother and another kid from Madelia, Tom
Hayden, we had our own float in the Mankato
Derby Parade one year. Pretty cool stuff for
a pre-teen, but my mental ‘dark passenger’
was already making it’s early appearance.
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Pessimism is nothing more than self-
sabotage. Expecting only the worst is not
being realistic. Realists hope for the best
but prepare for the worst. Pessimists can’t
imagine the best, so they only prepare for
the worst. Bipolar sufferers are true
pessimists. We self-sabotage at all times.
The cards are always stacked against us. And
then if the worst never happens? Pessimists
often find the worst possible result simply
to prove that their concerns were right.
Pessimists see life as one problem
after another. Optimists see life as one
opportunity after another. Bipolar sufferers
bounce from one crises to another – like a
frog jumping from one hot rock to the next.
Optimism is based on three basic tenets,
according to Mary Kay Mueller in her book,
“Taking Care of Me: The Habits of
Happiness.”
1.) Bad things do happen in life, but
they are temporary.
2.) Bad things in life are limited in
scope and tend to be small or
insignificant.
3.) People have control over their
environments.
Pessimists reverse the tables.
1.) Good things in life are temporary.
2.) Good things in life are limited –
small or insignificant.
3.) People have no control over their
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environments.
Does it make sense that pessimists tend
to blame others or circumstances for their
failures? Bipolar sufferers are quick to
find the fault in others. I was value-
programmed to be pessimistic in all things
that happened. We would expect the negative
side of life to show its persistent ugly
head.
To show that Iowa can get some heavy snow,
here is Easton and Griffin on a snow
mountain next to Grandma’s school.
(Ankeny Terrace Elementary)
Consider how optimism turned this
situation around -- Within a seven-year time
span, a woman’s mother died, her husband
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divorced her, and she found herself living
in poverty just one step away from being
homeless. In her spare time, she wrote a
book that 12 publishers rejected. Finally
one publisher accepted her book about a boy
named Harry Potter. And then she wrote more
books, which became blockbuster movies.
J.K. Rowling was an optimist who’s now a
billionaire. There is virtually nothing that
you can’t do if you set your mind to it. You
cannot control events in your life, but you
can control how you react – except if you
suffer with bipolar disorder – where your
attempts at control are flawed.
For years, counselors across the country
have identified the high school experience
as being the one basic in dysfunctional
actions. High school years are where the
dysfunction starts to take place. I know
that I failed my high school years. I was
out of synch and out of touch. Always behind
the power curve. Always saying the wrong
thing and acting out. No outlet worked for
me. Lots of jumbled thoughts and poor
decisions.
Who can help me? (Another great article
on the About.Com-Bipolar Disorder blog)There
is help out there in the form of financial
aid from the government – SSDI and SSI. As
with all things involved with government
there is a lot of paperwork-and visits-and
phone calls. The number of details, twists
and turns, loopholes and exceptions is,
unfortunately, rather large. Tackling this
can be quite daunting. However, there is no
reason you need to do so alone and you have
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a better chance of success if you have a
knowledgeable representative.
CALL the Social Security
Administration – 1-800-772-1213
Is bipolar disorder a qualified
condition for disability? Social Security
does understand – at least as far as one can
tell by reading its rules – that mental
health issues can be very serious. Almost
45% of all successful applicants have a
mental health issue as one of several
medical problems.
A person with a mental disorder is
eligible for benefits they meet these
requirements:
A.) Medically documented persistence of
one of the following:
1.) Anhedonia or pervasive loss of
interest in almost all activities.
2.) Appetite disturbance with change
in weight.
3.) Sleep disturbance.
4.) Psychomotor agitation or
retardation.
5.) Decreased energy.
6.) Feelings of guilt or worthlessness.
7.) Difficulty concentrating or
thinking.
8.) Thoughts of suicide.
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B.) Manic syndrome characteristics by at
least three of the following:
1.) Hyperactivity
2.) Pressure of speech.
3.) Flight of ideas.
4.) Inflated self-esteem.
5.) Decreased need for sleep.
6.) Easy distractibility.
7.) Involvement in activities that
have a high probability of painful
consequences which are not
recognized.
8.) Hallucinations, delusions, or
paranoid thinking.
When I think of family, I think of
experiences I had when I lived at home. Like
the Prom – that annual event where we all
‘act’ a certain way so that we are
acceptable. If you were not a football
player, or an “A” student, you had to be
careful on how you acted in public. And how
you dressed. The Prom stills stands as the
showplace for youth maturing. Sadly, the
iPhone and electronic generation can “text”
all day long, but they cannot talk to each
other face-to-face. They are at a loss for
what do socially.
USA TODAY reporter Pete Early followed
the Senator Deeds trauma, out of the state
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of Virginia. Reporter Early has spent the
past nine years trying to answer the
question is why can’t these folks get help.
The article I read centered around the State
Senator’s son not able to get help for his
mental health problems.
Excerpts of his reporting: “The stabbing
of Virginia state Senator Creigh Deeds
apparently by his son, Gus, who later
committed suicide, is the latest in a string
of mental health related violence.” Initial
news reports said Austin “Gus” Deeds had
been turned away from a treatment center
because no beds were available.
The U.S. mental health system is a mess.
It’s fragmented, not welcoming, overburdened
and extremely difficult to navigate,
especially by someone who is not thinking
clearly. I found this out, fairly quickly,
when I asked for my humanitarian
reassignment from Appleton, WI, to care for
my daughter Betsy.
Since the 1970’s, we have been closing
down state hospitals without providing
adequate services in our communities to help
people who are in the midst of a mental
crises. In Iowa, officials sometimes drive
patients across state lines to find beds.
Experts recommend that 50 psychiatric beds
should be available per 100,000 residents.
The national average today is only 17 beds
per 100,000.
HMOs are partly to blame. Psychiatric
beds traditionally lose money, so HMOs have
been closing local psychiatric wards in
favor of more profitable surgical beds.
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Our legal system hampers our mental
health system, too. We demand a person
become “dangerous to self or to others”
before parents and others can intervene.
This forces families to wait until it’s too
late to get help.
A month before he died, President Kennedy
signed the Community Mental Health Act with
hopes of closing down giant state
institutions where the sick were warehoused.
The goal was providing meaningful treatment
in a community setting. That dream has never
been fulfilled.
50% of persons with bipolar disorder
live at home with family members.
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Davey Alborn (3rd
from left) with his
groomsmen on his wedding day. It was a nice
sunny day in Anchorage, Alaska. I was happy
to serve as their primary photographer, but
remain very sad that I ruined the entire
first roll (of some pretty good shots) by
extracting the film incorrectly.
3
FAMILY
So many limbs on the tree of life
We never have a choice of what family we
are born to – or adopted into. There are
some fun movies that explore what happens
when that ‘magic’ line is crossed. Good old
Dear Abby is good about sharing some very
relevant letters that appear to hit home
with me. One recent letter was titled, “Teen
begins to recognize parents’ emotional
abuse”. The letter talks about parents
unknowingly being abusive. It has taken me
years to discover that the ‘silent’
treatment in our home took apart all of us.
My three siblings are as distant as total
strangers. I have reconnected with my
youngest sister, but the other two are
nowhere in sight.
Abby writes that the best part of all of
this is that you finally recognize the
problem. Deploying the ‘silent’ treatment
and our parents lack of control was not
normal. The problem with this kind of abuse
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– as opposed to physical abuse – is that
although it is damaging, it is often not
taken seriously. It would have been much
healthier if we all would have spent more
time with friends in healthier families.
When we first moved to Ankeny, in 1987, we
had a five-year game plan. Life happened and
we just celebrated our 26th
year at the same,
very comfortable, very convenient location.
My good friend Michael Gillespie
(cmichaelg49@gmail.com) has recently penned
an essay entitled “The War on Children”. He
is so right on. In it he claims that here in
the USA, American children continue to gun
down other American children in their
schools with terrifying frequency. A gun-
safety advocacy group counts 74 school
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shootings since the horrific gun massacre at
Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT,
in December 2012. CNN says 15 of those
shootings were “situations similar to the
violence in Newtown” What has been done
about this?
If people don’t read, they develop
no history. When people rely on
their close friends for reliable
information, who’s to say it is
reliable?
Our move to Iowa, in 1987, was a chance
to move up the postal food chain. To get on
a track where I could make a decent living
and support my family. I was reluctant to
leave the Twin Cities, as I knew NOTHING
about Iowa. Only the jokes and stories that
the state was full of farmers and the roads
(and minds) where very narrow.
As far as our ability to get mental
health care, it appears that Iowa is as poor
as other states in that department. Since I
came back from Wisconsin, I have had many
frustrating moments trying to help Betsy.
It’s like a moving jigsaw puzzle. You go to
one therapist and then get referred to
another – usually at another clinic. You
drive into Des Moines and then get referred
to a group in Ames (25 miles north). You try
to get some financial aid and medical help
for your daughter and you end up talking to
a Congressman or Senator to get someone’s
attention. And the most frustrating, is that
the world is spinning right on by as you
spin your wheels. Time stands still for no
one!
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The real question that needs to be
answered is why can’t someone who is
in the midst of mental breakdown get
help in our nation?
In 1966, my parents packed up, leaving
Madelia, MN and moved 4 hours north. They
settled in a tourist lake town called
Walker, with a population of 1100 in the
winter and 11,000 in the summer. It’s
located on the south shore of Minnesota’s
third largest lake, Leech Lake. Leeches can
be used for bait. Some countries use them as
a basic medicinal help to suck the poison
out of a sore or cut. They are great bait
for Northern Pickerel (Northerns) – just try
to get them on the hook!
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The competing thoughts. The peer
pressure. The secret side of your
personality. You must fit in at all costs.
When counselors were polled they said that
less than 1/3 of high school students with
mental health issues seek treatment. No one
wants the special needs category. No one
wants to be seen walking in and out of the
counselors office. That has not changed over
the years. Back in the 60’s, there was no
counseling help. We had a suicide in our
grade school and NO ONE talked about it.
That allowed all sorts of rumors to
flourish. All sorts of stories ran through
the hallways. When no one talks about a
subject, you have to know that many ideas
are being formed.
12 years
old,
freshly
broken
front
tooth,
hiding a
hernia
that
would
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eliminate me from playing sports, wearing
lots of juice in my hair, and getting
bullied at school!
With all the online connections
available today, with all the kids and
teachers connected with their personal
communication devices – it is sad, for me,
to realize that so little gets done in this
area. The kids (and parents) have won the
recent battle by getting allowed to take
their cell-phones into the classroom.
Texting about the Friday game is now MORE
important than paying attention in the
classroom!
If the kids are failing, why are we not
demanding better results? Is China holding
back? Is Japan holding back? Where are the
national priorities? Why is the U.S. failing
in math and science? Does the Congress read
any of the studies that have come out? Where
is the national concern over our failing
schools? What is the holdup? Where is the
urgency? Is everybody totally focused on
themselves?
In 2009, SummerFest was very different.
There was apprehension and excitement in the
air. I had just gathered the girls to tell
them of the surprise arrival of their half-
sister. It was kind of like her coming-out
party. She brought her husband Kevin, and my
brand-new grandchildren Nick and Amanda. I
introduced her to people. It was awkward, at
first, then the talk started and the
laughter told me that it was going to be OK.
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The relationships continue to be a work in
progress. After all, it was quite a surprise
to all of them.
Half-sisters, only recently introduced to
each other, getting ready for the 2009
Summer Fest parade in front of our Ankeny
house. (l to r) Jenna Ingle – Jill Norby
(holding Jenna’s boy, Easton)– Emily Meyer.
Clare and Betsy were not around for this
photo op.
But the memory of the aunt I never knew
was part of many conversations over the
years. After reading this article, I would
have liked to have known her. I feel that
her loss made a lifelong difference to my
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mother. I do know that guns in the house
were frowned upon – and that was another
‘silent treatment’ effect that I dealt with.
My Dad wanted to hunt and wanted his oldest
son to be a good hunter, while my mother
unknowingly made me feel guilty.
Davey (as I have always called him) and Sara
Alborn with their bridesmaids, groomsmen and
families. Alborn Sr is on left, and third
from left is my brother-in-law David, then
my baby sister Mary.
In keeping with my back-and-forth rhythm
of my bipolar brain, now it is time for a
sad memory. There is usually a teeter-totter
effect – maybe a head balancing act? Maybe
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feeling guilty with good thoughts, so I have
to gin up some dark thoughts? I found this
in one of my mother’s keepsake folders. It
is the tragic announcement of her sister’s
death. It happened when I was 3 years old,
so I do not remember anything about it. But
the memory of the aunt I never knew was part
of many conversations over the years.
After my mother died, I inherited a file
cabinet with some artifacts that Mom thought
was important. One was the 1949 Madelia
Times-Messenger article about her sister’s
shocking death. After reading this article,
I would have liked to have known Betty Jean.
I feel that her loss made a lifelong
difference to my mother.
The shotgun accident altered the
conversations in our house and in grandma’s
house. If the subject of guns and hunting
came up, it was quickly changed. I do know
that guns in the house were frowned upon –
and that was another ‘silent treatment’
effect that I dealt with. My Dad wanted to
hunt and wanted his oldest son to be a good
hunter, while my mother unknowingly made me
feel guilty at the same time. Again, an
awkward time for an awkward family. No
discussion, no explanation, only silence.
That shotgun blast was felt throughout our
family and throughout our lives.
Madelia Times-Messenger, Friday, Dec. 30, 1949
Betty Jean Haugen killed by blast from
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12-gauge gun
Coroner’s jury declares shooting was accidental
Stunned community mourns tragic death of beloved citizen
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4
IOWA
A place to grow
The more I write about my bipolar life,
the more I think about my parents. I don’t
think I’ve given them this much thought
ever. It all went so fast. My Dad left his
hometown to find something – a comfort, a
lifestyle, a new surrounding – and in 1987,
I did the same thing. Different direction,
probably the same reasons. Dad has been gone
for 20 years (heart attack – age 63) and Mom
has now been gone 10 years (congestive heart
failure). I feel that from what I saw over
her last two years that she just gave up
because her man was gone and a couple of her
kids ‘broke’ her heart!
Iowa has turned out to be the best move
for my family. The girls have all found good
friends and companions. Two girls have found
husbands. Charlotte has found her way into a
great quilting guild and has made many
friends. She has excelled as a Literacy
Associate, now in her 20th
year.
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In the May 2014 AARP Bulletin, Garrison
Keillor talks about the comedy. He says that
comedy does not give good value. There are
many discouraging facts around – e.g., half
of all people are below average – and jokes
relieve some of the misery. Bipolar
sufferers use humor to relieve pressure.
Most state fairs have a giant slide. It is
fun for all ages. The microphones are
positioned to blast out the screams of folks
having fun. It is a money-maker. The Iowa
Giant slide just sold (owned by 84-year-old
in Texas) for $540,000!
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Iowa is a serious state. The old saying
of narrow roads and narrow minds appears to
be fairly accurate. At least, that is my
perception what true Iowans like to think.
Smiles are not as frequent as in my birth
state of Minnesota. I am still trying to
figure that out. Maybe it is just my
perception?
Expression affects emotion. Some of the
big motivational speakers talk about turning
your frown upside down. Let a smile be your
umbrella. My depression had normally turned
on the frown – I had to learn to force a
smile when I would walk into the post
offices I have managed.
A fun photo taken from the right front POT
mirror on my school bus on a VERY cold
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winter day
In psychology, there is a theory entitled
the “facial feedback” hypothesis. This
hypothesis states that “involuntary facial
movements provide sufficient peripheral
information to drive emotional experience.”
The authors of another study wrote that
“feedback from facial expression effects
emotional expression and behavior.” In
simple terms, you may actually be able to
improve your mood by simply smiling!
You have probably heard the saying, “Let
a smile be your umbrella”, or maybe “Turn
that frown upside down”, “It takes less
facial muscles to smile than it does to
frown.”
Random thought:
Where are all these inconsiderate and distracted
drivers coming from? Distracted with cell phones,
running stop signs and not looking both directions, pre-
occupied with being the closest to the front door, first
in line, ahead of all. Double-parked!
A number of research projects support
this hypothesis. One study found that
involuntary biological changes similar to
those caused by emotions were experienced by
participants who were instructed to make
certain faces. A person told to make an
angry face experienced increased blood flow
to the hands and feet, which is also seen in
those who are experiencing anger.
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Participants from another study involving
posed faces reported more favorable
impressions of other people when they were
asked to smile.
In the six post offices that I have
managed, I ‘turn on’ the smile as soon as a
hit the back door. I always made sure that I
was going to lead by example.
January 2009, proud grandparents are back to
Mercy Hospital to hold newest addition to
family, Jenna’s boy, Mr. Easton Jude Ingle.
In the last 20 years, the idea of
writing also comes as a type of release.
According to the three Doctors I have been
seeing since going over the depression
cliff. “It can be very therapeutic”, they
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say. So, I have been putting down my
thoughts in a number of ways and it has
turned into another world. Kind of like a
sigh of relief. I’m writing something every
day. Every writer that I read about says you
have to write every day. I’m feeling better
when I do it.
Halle
know what
is going
on with
the
camera –
She DOES
NOT
really
care to
pose, or
smile for
pictures.
Research has also found that when you
mimic the face of someone else, it may cause
you to feel
So what does this all mean? The next time
you are down – the next time you are feeling
blue – SMILE.
Des Moines Register reporter D.A. Finney
has recently written about his own battle
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with depression. He starts with the Robin
Williams suicide and then gets into his
family dynamics. Finney has had mental
health challenges all his life, but he talks
about his late mother who struggled with
mental health issues, also. Finney’s Dad
tried to get her help, but he always felt
guilty. He grew up on an Iowa farm during
the great depression and loaded ships as a
Navy seaman during World War II. To him,
psychiatry was akin to witchcraft, and
asking a therapist to talk to his wife meant
she would be confined to a room with padded
walls and straitjackets for the remainder of
her days.
Finney worries, as do I, that people
still think padded asylum cells and violent
criminals when mental illness is discussed.
We are not far removed from a time when U.S.
Sen. Thomas Eagleton was shamed out of being
a vice presidential nominee because he
sought treatment for depression.
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Just
like the
good old
days –
your
family
doctor
makes a
house
call –
here Dr.
Shannon
Hood
bikes by
our
house
after
the
Summer
Fest
Parade.
Mental illness is a broad spectrum of
ailments, but it is all rooted in one thing”
The brain is an organ – just like the heart
and liver – and sometimes it malfunctions.
In exceptionally rare cases, it means people
cannot function at all. (Like my 2006 six-
week staycation to my room!)But in most
mental health cases, is simply something
that we live with day to day.
About.com has written a nice piece
about “How to recognize a manic episode”:
1.) Make note of changes in sleeping
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patterns, especially if your friend
or loved one has lots of energy on
just a few hours of sleep. (This
helps me explain how I worked two
jobs, went to college, drank heavily
and maintained several relationships
in my 20’s)
2.) Be alert to increased talkativeness.
If his mouth runneth over, this could
be another symptom, especially if the
talk seems pressured. (Here again,
the my-own-worst-enemy scenario –
“motormouth” - drifting off into some
tangent and talking a subject to
death – driving friends and family
away)
3.) If your spouse is suddenly more
sexually demanding, it could be a
symptom. Hyper sexuality is often a
manic symptom. (My 20’s were WILD and
then there is that 4 children in
seven years in my 30’s)
4.) Study your credit card bills and
debit card transactions. Mania can
cause disastrous spending sprees.
(Here is where my 20 year compulsive
gambling shows its ugly self!)
5.) Notice if he complains that his
thoughts are racing uncontrollably.
(I never talked about it – I thought
the visual circus was a natural event
in my head.)
6.) Be on the alert if he starts having
delusions of grandeur. These are not
present in hypomania, but grandiose
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thinking like “I’m going to quit my
job and write a novel!” is a possible
manic symptom. (I served in four
branches of the armed forces and went
through 2 boot camps - During my
postal career I applied for more than
100 jobs in 15 states, travelling to
more than half of them.)
I started to get serious about writing
when I took the huge drop in pay to come
back from Wisconsin. And when I say huge,
for me it was an annual drop of $21,000.
That is a year’s income for some folks. I
did it with very short notice after Betsy’s
first hospitalization at Mercy-Franklin
Mental Health unit.
The promises that I received from
management on this end did not pan out. I
was led down a rosy path by an unscrupulous
manager. I was lied to. I was “promised”
that I would only be in the lower paying
assignment for one year.
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Orchestra leader Axel Stordahl was the
composer of choice for Frank Sinatra’s
recordings. He was a big name in Hollywood.
I discovered this when I Googled the last
name Stordahl. Right away, my bipolar brain
thought I could also be big in Hollywood –
no special reason, just bipolar warped
reasoning!
That is the basic criteria for moving
someone in the postal service. That promise
was forgotten and the key to my resurgence
was tossed into a dark room somewhere. My
bipolar personality wanted to do physical
and financial harm to the folks that did
this to me. But in typical postal fashion,
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they slithered into the woodwork to work
their devious tricks on other people.
This demeaning of employees was so
apparent when you attended postal management
meetings. It was embarrassing to listen to.
It was like the class bully spouting off and
nobody stopping them. I could not believe
that upper management had lost their
direction. I would ask things like, “How can
a business flourish when the workers are
treated so poorly?”
Excuse me
TV has gotten really weird. Viagra
competing with Cialis (on every 10
minutes during prime viewing hours),
Osphena competing with Vagisil
(talking about the most intimate
details and the side effects),
diarrhea meds coming from all
directions – there was just a graphic
commercial on TV about black stools!
When the postal promotion came, the
decisions were tremendously stressing.
Especially for a bipolar mind! Do I go? When
do I go? Is it a good career move? Is it a
good move for the family? What about fishing
and hunting? How about the relatives? Will
anyone come to visit? Am I taking the
grandkids away from something special?
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No matter where we go, all eyes are peeled
for the word QUILT. So far, we have visited
about 50 in the five-state area around Iowa.
Another great writer from the Des Moines
Register, Rekha Basu (rbasu@dmreg.com),
recently wrote an essay about the growing
poor segment of our population. Her title
was – “We need to think about the least
among us.” I read it and thought it could
have been about those with mental health
problems. It is parallel to the mental
health picture. Here are excerpts: There is
some basis to the stigma (of being poor, or
having a mental health) and shame they feel.
The poor are demonized in public policy
debates on everything from food stamps to
minimum wage to extending unemployment
benefits. Efforts to improve their lives
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result in lawsuits and congressional
obstructionism. There is, as psychologist
Danial Goleman explained in a New York Times
blog in October, a growing lack of empathy
at higher levels.
“Income inequality is at its highest
level in a century,” he wrote. “Apart from
the financial inequities, I fear the
expansion of an entirely different gap,
caused by the inability to see oneself in a
less advantaged person’s shoes.”
Nick Norby getting some ‘air’ at an ATV
event in Minnesota. This grandson is
performing well in football, baseball and
basketball - but I think he would place ATV
racing #1.
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5
Minnesota
Land of 10,000 Lakes…or is it 13,000?
There were so many things to think
about. Leaving the state of my birth and
life to this point was not even thought
about. Minnesota has been a good state for
me. The only state for me. I looked and
talked like most of the people in the state.
I agreed with the news reports and the way
“WE” looked at life.
Vikings football, Twins baseball, North
Stars hockey and all the sports at the
University of Minnesota. I knew the chants
and how to get to all the stadiums. It was a
comfortable existence. And moving out of
your comfort zone can be an upsetting and
controversial thing. After 26 years in Iowa,
I still consider myself a Minnesotan. I feel
good when we go north. I still feel like a
visitor in Iowa.
Being a bus driver has become my
vocation, after retirement from the postal
service. I was reluctant, at first, because
I thought I would cruise into retirement and
travel and get into movies and sleep late.
The 2008 recession took care of that! School
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bus driving is the most lucrative, as far as
a part-time job goes. You normally get a
split four-hour assignment and then you can
sign up for special trips (museums, sports,
choir, zoo) for after hours and weekends.
Most drivers can clear $800 or more for a
two-week period – AND you can draw
unemployment in the summertime.
As I write this portion of book #3, the
details of the Malaysia Airlines being shot
down by a surface-to-air(SAM) over Ukraine
is being broadcast. My desire to go anywhere
on an airplane has diminished a great deal.
Russia has supplied the separatists in
Ukraine with sophisticated surface-to-air
missiles to shoot down Ukrainian airplanes.
They made a huge blunder and shot down a
civilian airliner with 289 aboard.
The scenery is always one of the best parts
of driving a tour bus.
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Tour bus driving is something different.
Those folks want you to come in with the
license and the skills. Only Arrow (in this
market) sends you away for a 2-week training
period. Tour bus drivers need to be ready
for a 3:00 AM start, or a 3:00 AM end-of-
trip. You need to be ready for all sorts of
contingencies inside and outside the bus.
Bad weather. Traffic. Delays. Mad trip
planners. Poor trip planners. No place to
park. Finding a hotel 30 miles out of town
AFTER you have dropped off your passengers.
NEVER getting in on ANY meal plans for a
sports team, but being expected to drive 5
hours without a pit stop. And do this
wearing a tie, wearing a big smile and
getting less than $10 an hour for your
‘professionalism’.
Bus Driver Prayer
May the roads be clear and the traffic
not slow. May our drive not be
hindered by rain, sleet or snow. May
we reach safe and sound. All the
places we go!
This cute little poem (above) was
printed on a locally homemade plaque that
was purchased in Branson, MO. It was a gift
to me from one of my passengers during a
great 4-day trip in 2011. The lady was very
proud to hand it to me. That is one of the
really cool things about being a tour bus
driver.
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My sister Mary is never far from her laptop
or her cell phone - keeping up with the
family business as we meet in a Minneapolis
hotel restaurant for brunch.
The Des Moines Register has been doing a
good job about writing about mental health.
In a recent Sunday edition (Aug. 17, 2014)
the paper ran an Iowa View called, “Getting
beyond the stigma of mental illness”, by Ed
Kelly Jr., a peer support specialist at the
Waubonsie Mental Health Center in Clarinda.
(edwardkelly4@msn.com)
His essay talks about how many hide
their struggle with mental illness from
employers. Most of us do this due to the
stigma – because it means a mark or label
imposed by others that leads to devaluation
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and discrimination.
Former first lady Rosalyn Carter, in her
book “Within Our Reach: Ending the Mental
Health Crises,” describes stigma as “the
most important damaging factor in the life
of anyone who has mental illness. It
humiliates and embarrasses; it is painful;
it generates stereotypes, fear and
rejection; it leads to terrible
discrimination.”
One of the companies I worked for was
Windstar. They claim to have 125 drivers on
their roster. Amazing after you experience
the brutal hours, but the “adventure” is
SOMETIMES worth it. I did get a great 5-day
trip to Rocky Mountain National Park before
the short callout notices, long hours, very
low pay and no-per-diem wore me out
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Another shot from our 2013 Colorado trip to
visit Charlotte’s brother Dave and his wife
Joan. This is the Breckinridge area. Every
turn will give you a breathtaking view.
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6
Alaska
Home of the Permanent Fund Dividend
The humble first Alborn cabin on Amber Lake,
near Trapper Creek, AK. Mary cooked inside
here and the four kids all bunked there too.
It would impossible to look at my
immediate family and not start to analyze
and second-guess how we all got so
dysfunctional. How can you quantify the
disintegration of a family? Do you blame
marriages? Do you look at mental health
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histories? Where did we go wrong? What was
the key to falling apart? Was it alcohol
abuse, ‘score-keeping’, back-stabbing,
compulsive gambling, compulsive smoking,
anti-social behavior, being verbally
abusive, being reclusive, and at the end of
my mother’s life – when she needed us all
the most? – Elder Abuse!
How much fun would it have been to have
an aunt and an uncle for my kids? My brother
missed out (as did I) on a lifetime of
stories and dinners and picnics and photos
My sister-in-law never showed any
compassion or concern for anyone in my
family. She decided years ago that she would
not speak to me. I’m thinking she may have
done me a favor, but I also think it would
have been nice if she could have served her
purpose more proficiently by being a good
sister-in-law, as well as an aunt.
After 20
years, I
am not
sure what
some of
my
relatives
look
like.
Maybe
that is a
good
idea?
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January, 2012 – Kailua-Kona, Hawaii – as
guests of my sister Mary and her husband
David, we stayed in a 5-bedroom estate
overlooking the bay of Kona. We enjoyed a
morning fly-by of a dozen colorful parrots,
then would watch the boats entering the
harbor, before hitting the beach for some
body-surfing.
Charlotte and I have been to Hawaii
three times. The first trip was in 1979,
when her brother and sister-in-law took
family members to Waikiki Beach. We stayed
at the Hale-Kulani Resort (where the beach
and bar scenes for Hawaii 5-0 were filmed).
Our next two trips were treats from my
sister and brother-in-law from Alaska. We
are so fortunate to have such wonderful and
generous relatives.
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Family gathering at one of Des Moines great
eateries – Machine Shed – large portions
served family style – plenty of room for
folks of all sizes.
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When we joined my sister in Kailua-Kona,
Hawaii, we had no idea what kind of
accommodations she had lined up. She is
always a little secretive. This was a 7-acre
estate, with a 5-bedroom villa, leading out
to an infinity pool, overlooking the bay of
Kailua-Kona. On this day we watched a giant
tour ship come in to dock for the day of
fun, food and shopping.
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Christmas Day 2007 – something funny was
said and I think Daron took this photo. I
think I had decided to retire on this day.
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7
Retirement
To dream the impossible dream
What should retirement ‘look’ like?
Again, in true bipolar fashion, I pulled
the plug on my postal career with no thought
towards IF I COULD AFFORD to retire. It was
a knee-jerk decision, due to my reaching the
minimum retirement age for USPS, very worn
out by the rude treatment from upper
management, tired of the toxic work
environment, unable to replace workers that
had retired, also due to my erratic approach
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to all things financial, and also due to my
never-ending ‘dream’ state that deep
depression puts me into.
No savings – no investments – living on
the edge of financial ruin for years –
ignoring house repair – no “emergency” fund,
like the ones that are always talked about
in the financial sections of books and local
papers. At a minimum, I should have $15,000
in a basic ‘rainy day’ fund. I have nothing.
For emergencies. For helping the kids. For
fixing the leaky faucets and the new damage
to the roof. But no, I did not give that any
thought. I found out how easy it was to
retire and I was sick-and-tired of the lack
of organization and the abusive management
that I had endured from USPS. I was burnt
out from the recent years of being bypassed
by younger employees with far less
experience.
Ten thousand baby boomers are now
retiring every day and will continue to do
so for the next 15 to 20 years as the
nation’s largest generation ages out of the
civilian labor force, according to Des
Moines-based Principal Financial Group. Baby
boomers account for about 76 million of the
318 million Americans, or about 24 percent
of the U.S. population, and range in age
from 68 to 48.
Then there is that big question about
social security. Will it last? How long?
Allen W. Smith, Ph.D., is a professor
emeritus of economics at Eastern Illinois
University (ironwoodas@aol.com). He recently
wrote (Thursday, August 21, 2014) a sober,
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frightening article in Another View, a
regular forum in The Des Moines Register. In
it he is appalled at the distorted
misinformation the American people are fed.
If the government had not taken, and spent,
the $2.7 trillion in surplus Social Security
revenue that was generated by the 1983
payroll tax hike, Social Security would be
able to pay full benefits for another 20
years.
These Ankeny high school kids have their
eyes on the future – they are learning to
speak, read and write Chinese.
But the government did take, and spend,
for non-Social Security purposes, every
penny of that $2.7 trillion. If the
government were to make provisions for
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repaying that $2.7 trillion debt to Social
Security, the financial problems of Social
Security would suddenly be dwarfed.
Every member of Congress knows that the
real Social Security problem is the direct
result of the misappropriation of Social
Security money. But few American citizens
have even a clue that all of the surplus
Social Security revenue was used for general
government spending.
Around 1978, I led a small Audiovisual crew
to The Pentagon in Washington, DC to record
news segments for our half-hour news program
“Telescope” – I should have used some of
those brain cells to invest in IBM and other
early tech stocks.
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The surplus revenue was neither saved
nor invested in anything. It was supposed to
be saved and used to purchase marketable
U.S. Treasury bonds. This would have
decreased the public debt and given Social
Security “good-as-gold” marketable bonds in
the trust fund.
Professor Smith concludes that, “Maybe
I have a distorted view of what things
should be like in the United States. But, to
use Allan Sloan’s words in his recent
“Fortune” article about tax inversions, I
believe that for the government to increase
payroll taxes, under the guise that the
revenue would be saved for the baby boomers,
and then spend all the money for things like
financing income tax cuts for the rich and
funding wars is “positively un-American.”
Let this bipolar sufferer go a little
further. It is lazy and absentee governing
and looks almost criminal today. This baby
boomer is NOT happy about losing what little
savings I did have and having to go back to
work full time!
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Grandson Griffin Meyer with the first of
many diplomas. This one from pre-school,
held at the nearby Methodist Church.
As I sit here, trying to make sense of my
sad little life, I am reading an article in
the Sunday Des Moines Register. It is
written by Nanci Hellmich (@nancihellmich –
USA Today). Her article is for retirees:
Take a stand against sitting disease. One
study showed that sitting less may lead to a
longer life. She writes that sitting
disease has been linked to increased risks
for Type 2 diabetes, cognitive decline,
disability in people over 60, and death from
cancer., heart disease and stroke. A recent
analysis suggests “there are 34 chronic
diseases and conditions associated with
excess sitting,” says endocrinologist James
Levine, 50, co-director of Obesity Solutions
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at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix and Arizona
State University. He has researched sitting
disease for three decades and has written a
new book, Get Up! Why Your Chair Is Killing
You and What You Can Do About It.
My bipolar response here is that the
chair is comfortable. I like sitting in the
chair, or lying in bed, and looking out the
window and letting my over-active mind
wander. I don’t want to answer the phone and
I don’t want to go out in public. It is a
trap that I have been in since I was a
teenager. Spurts of energy, or Charlotte
making me do something is the only signs of
life that I can muster.
At my age and size, a little chest pain gets
you a visit to the hospital.
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I’ve thought again about changing my
medication, but that means going to a doctor
and spilling your guts and then trying to
fit in with a new regimen of medication. And
the turmoil it causes with sleep
disturbance, bowel disruptions, and good old
irritability.
Psychotherapy is aimed at alleviating
core symptoms, recognizing episode triggers.
My episode trigger was already underway when
I read the employment announcements of
postal job openings – anywhere – makes no
difference. My core symptoms were
acceptance, acknowledgment of capabilities,
and satisfaction that I had achieved
credibility. That I was equal or better than
others applying for the same job. Like I had
been shown by my father’s reactions, getting
to a ‘higher’ plateau than the folks across
the table is the goal. Get them to laugh,
get them to smile, get them to nod their
heads in agreement with what you just said.
Bipolar disorder can be a severely
disabling medical condition. However, many
individuals with bipolar disorder can live
full and satisfying lives. Quite often,
medication is needed to enable this.
Medication is what has saved my life.
Persons with bipolar disorder may have
periods of normal or near normal functioning
between episodes. My episodes of high
function versus low function are very
unbalanced. Right now I feel that the
depression has increased, but my brain
recall and writing ability has increased.
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A tough photo to capture, but this was a fun
sundown walk – to the biking/walking high
bridge west of town.
For many individuals with bipolar
disorder a good prognosis results from good
treatment, which, in turn, results from an
accurate diagnosis. Because bipolar disorder
can have a high rate of both under-diagnosis
and misdiagnosis, it is often difficult for
individuals with the condition to receive
timely and competent treatment. I am always
aware that my life could have turned in
others directions if I had been monitored
and medicated at the right time. How many
others have drifted away with this gene
quirk?
It has been noted that the bipolar
disorder diagnosis is officially
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characterized in historical terms such that,
technically, anyone with a history of (hypo)
mania and depression has bipolar disorder
whatever their current or future functioning
and vulnerability. I feel that the secret to
discovery is discussing it. How many of you
have relatives that you have labeled as
‘different’?
My all-time favorite photo of the girls
having fun on Halloween. The party was at
Emily’s, in Des Moines. (l to r) Jenna,
Clare, Emily, Betsy.
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Most people spend 10 and 15 hours a
day sitting. Most people sit most of
the time. Sitting is contrary to what
our bodies are meant to do.
When I think long and hard about
retirement, I always drift into what other
people might think. What are others, my age,
up to? Am I the only one to think that I am
just a small player, just rolling through
life, with no control over my outcome?
Recent news has been about the Russian
land grab in Crimea. The news media makes
Russia’s President Putin to be a soul-less
war monger. But then DeWayne Wickham, dean
of Morgan State University’s School of
Global Journalism and Communication, writes
a stunner for USA TODAY – “Historic parallel
for Crimea grab?’ He explains about a power
grab – and you think he is talking about
Russia – but the he is actually talking
about the series of events that brought
about the creation of Panama in 1903. Back
then, Panama was a province of the nation of
Columbia. When the Columbian government
rejected a treaty that would have allowed
the United States to build a canal across
the territory to connect the Atlantic and
Pacific Oceans, a plot was hatched to make
Panama an independent country.
The United States, then an emerging
superpower, sent warships into the region to
stop Columbia from reinforcing its
beleaguered troops in its Panama province.
The new nation responded by quickly giving
America the treaty it sought. While the
United States didn’t annex Panama, it did
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exercise virtual sovereignty over it for 97
years.
Over the past century, every time one
superpower acted badly in its sphere of
influence, the other bashed its conduct. See
the similarity? Can you do ANYTHING about
this behavior?
Charlotte’s brother Dave and his wife Joan
don’t care to have their photo taken, but I
cannot describe a thought without one. In
2013, they invited us to join them in
Colorado for a wonderful week of great
weather, great food and fun stories. I
“forced” them to pose for this shot in
downtown Breckinridge.
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Grandson Griffin was the first to go out for
Halloween – dressed as a lion. Of course,
Lion King was big that year. It appears
Griffy is not so sure.
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8
Writing
Journaling for better mental health
When I started writing a few years ago,
I was not sure if I had a fix on a subject
that I could expound upon. Then it dawned on
me that what I was experiencing, with my own
bipolar disorder combined with the trauma we
have had to deal with when daughter Betsy
went overboard with BD and Personality
Disorder, was a perfect foundation for my
launch into consistent messaging.
The more I read about BD and the more I
watch for articles on mental health – the
more I am concerned that we have an internal
crises that is being ignored. It is a can
that is being kicked down the road. No one
is working on the mental health crises. The
talk can get louder after a tragedy, such as
a school shooting, but then the volume goes
down and the American public is on to the
next item up for bid.
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PeeWee, the companion and nurse cat, is a
Manx (no tail) -- She came to our house, 9
years ago, after being physically thrown out
of our neighbors house -- Always happy to
play or bump heads -- Has a special type of
complaining purr – more like a little
blurting noise of a purr -- Kind of sounds
like a complaints.
USA TODAY is working on a series of
articles for summer/fall 2014. The first to
appear is “Mental Illness Cases Swamp
Criminal Justice System”. The first article
is published out of Newport, RI. Here are a
few excerpts that have appeared online:
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In the shadow of enormous wealth, where
tourists flock to view the iconic mansions
along Bellevue Avenue, about 40% of all
calls to police involve people who are
mentally ill or have behavioral problems.
This only begins to assess how an
overwhelmed criminal justice system has
become the de facto caretaker of Americans
who are mentally ill of emotionally
disturbed.
From police departments and prisons to
courthouses and jails, the care of those who
are mentally ill weighs heaviest on law
enforcement authorities, many of whom
readily acknowledge that they lack both
resources and expertise to deal with
crushing responsibility.
In a series of stories in the coming months
(summer/fall 2014), USA TODAY will explore
the human and financial costs the country
pays for not caring more about the nearly 10
million Americans with serious mental
illness.
About 1.2 million people is state, local and
federal custody reported some kind of mental
health problem, a 2006 Justice Department
analysis concluded. It is among the most
recent national assessments of prisoners
mental status.
In one of the largest detention systems in
the nation, Chicago’s Cook County Jail, the
problem is so persistent that Sheriff Tom
Dart keeps a running tally of the incoming
mentally ill cases on his Twitter account.
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With Bipolar disease, something has to
‘click’ in your own head to make any
progress against the ongoing problem. A
person needs to acknowledge that something
is not normal. Mental health has to be
owned. For me, the ‘click’ did not happen
till after I had been caring for my youngest
daughter, in her daily fight with the top
shelf of this ugly disease. As I write this
third book I am conflicted with an array of
challenges – some self-made, some
inadvertent. As I look at the August 2014
calendar I have to choose between going to
Omaha for a 2-week training class for Arrow
Stage Lines, taking a few short charter
trips with Durham School Services, going to
Colorado (free tickets) with in-laws and
organizing the house and yard for back-to-
school time.
Bipolar Disorder can be a severely
disabling medical condition. However, many
individuals with bipolar disorder can live
full and satisfying lives. Quite often,
medication is needed to enable this. Persons
with bipolar disorder may have periods of
normal or near normal functioning between
episodes.
A recent survey showed that Americans
spend an average of 2.8 hours a day in
front of their TV.
One solution? Stroll around your
living room during the ads.
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A huge highlight in my life, which ended up
in true bipolar fashion negative -- sitting
in and fishing from the boat I WON on a $5
ticket! – this 16-ft Alumacraft Backtroller,
with a 35-horse Evinrude outboard engine and
trailer valued at $7,000 – we enjoyed this
boat for 10 years – then I sold it for $2400
to temporarily catch up with gambling debts
in Wisconsin.
A naturalistic study from first
admission for mania or mixed episode found
that 50% achieved recovery within six weeks
and 98% within two years. However, 40% went
on to experience a new episode of mania or
depression within 2 years of recovery, and
19% switched phases without recovery. It
would appear that I am again in the minority
– the wrong side of this data – I’m in the
19% that has actively switched phases.
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Avolition is defined as lack of
initiative or motivation. In schizophrenia,
when avolition is so severe as to prevent a
person from doing ordinary things such as
work, reading, or taking care of oneself, it
is considered a “negative” symptom of the
condition. With Bipolar II it just hangs
around as a life-altering ‘bad’ habit!
My guilt rides with me every day because I
am not a hands-on, visiting, good
grandfather to these two kids. Nick and
Amanda Norby – they are the children of the
daughter I abandoned when I was a very out-
of-control 18.
Having a range of experiences is so
important for living a complete life. With
bipolar disease you are never really happy
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