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7th day 1 9.20.18
- 1. DAY 1
- 3. Sponsored by No hassles, no judgment - just HELP. Text HELP to 662-231-6002 or call the clinic at 662-841-1517.
- 5. Personal Strengths & Goals Three Things I Admire about Myself Three Accomplishments I’m Proud Of Three Goals I Hope to Reach by age 25
- 6. Goal Hallway and Temptations
- 7. Goal Hallway and Temptations
- 8. Goal Hallway and Temptations
- 9. Goal Hallway and Temptations
- 10. Goal Hallway and Temptations
- 11. Goal Hallway and Temptations
- 12. Goal Hallway and Temptations
- 13. Second Chances
- 14. What are teens really looking for?
- 15. LOVE vs. “CRUSH” Happens___________________ ___ You know each other ____________ You want to be a _________ person Lasts for a ________________ time Based on _____________________ Thinking of the person ___________ Happens___________________ ___ Based on ___________ appearance Doesn’t ___________________ long _______________ in the relationship You know _____ about the other Sporadic – on and _______again There is a ____________ to marry LOVE “CRUSH” Better First Happily ever after Last Little Long Imperfections Insecure Off Physical Quickly Rush Slowly Trust Well Work Wrong
- 23. Wedding Cake…
- 24. MARRIAGE VIDEO
- 25. Homework Letter to Your Future Self Write a letter to yourself at age 25 talking about your goals, where you want to be and what you want to be doing at that time. Write about some things you are going through now that could prevent you from getting there and what you’re doing to do to make sure those things don’t stop you from reaching your goals. There are websites that offer to make a “future letter” available to you. You can post a letter to yourself and they will email it to you in several years so you can see if you achieved your goals. Some of those sites are futureme.org,
Editor's Notes
- Give the pre-survey. For the validity of these surveys we want the students’ raw reactions, before they know you, know what you do and like you.
- Introduce yourself to the students. “My name is ________________ and I’m on the M-Power Team at Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic, which is a medical clinic in Tupelo. (Often students will know where the Skate Zone is located on Parkgate Drive. It is a good reference for giving directions to the clinic. We want each student to remember the location of the clinic in case they need us….even, in years to come.) We are a completely free, 100% confidential (can’t even tell parents) clinic for girls and women who think they may be pregnant. No hassles; no judgment; just help. We are going to have a lot of fun over the next few days and we will talk about adolescent sexual health. We are going to talk about your life, your goals and your dreams. We’re going to think about things that can help you reach your goals and things that can prevent you from reaching your goals. Ask students to tri-fold piece of paper and write their name (big letters) on it, place in front of them on desk. Over the next few days we are going to talk about some really important things like relationships, goals, your dreams, dating, sex, teen pregnancy…. But right now we’re going to talk about you...and your personal strengths and goals.”
- Randomly point to a few students one at a time and ask them to quickly choose between one of the options below. Only pick 5-10 students, for time’s sake. This is a good warm up game and helps the kids to anticipate a fun week. pizza or chicken iPhone or android favorite vacation spot Nike or UnderArmour jeans or a suit/dress favorite movie winter or summer favorite sport long hair or short hair beach or mountains favorite subject in school football or baseball long hair or short hair favorite desert fly or ride favorite car socks or no socks Mexican or Italian food “Sometimes in life you have to make a decision quickly. There’s no time to think. Some of those decisions can be big. The decision you make can have the potential to make your life better or make your life have a lot of pain and anxiety. To help you make the right decision, it is best to decide on your goals before you are put in a place where you will need to make a fast decision. You are in a time in your life when decisions are coming at you all the time. You need to know ahead of time what you will decide so that you don’t find yourself in a tight spot. You don’t ever need to take a day off of making good decisions. You know what landmines are, right? A bad decision is like a landmine – it may not cause problems right away; it can lay dormant in the ground until later and then cause all kind of damage. It is always dangerous. Your decisions help determine your destiny.
- Personal Goals “Get out a piece of paper. Across the top write: “Personal Goals”. Under that write: “Three Goals I Hope to Reach by age 25” You may have to help them get started by naming some examples of goals they may set. Many kids may never have thought about their goals or what they might achieve in life, so they honestly have no idea what to name. Do you realize that the higher you set your goals, the better your reward? For example: the average high school dropout makes: $21, 268/year ($10.22/hour), the Average high school graduate makes: $30, 316/year ($14.50/year); the average college graduate makes: $48, 724/year ($23.42/hour). Discuss their goals. Ask some of the kids to name one or two things on each list out loud. Praise them. “That’s a great goal!” “I would be proud of that too!” “That’s awesome!”
- “This drawing illustrates a long hallway, like the one in your school building. You can see your goal at the end. But there are doors open on each side of the hallway. If you turn into one of those doors, you can no longer reach your goal. These doors represent challenges and temptations that can prevent you from achieving your goals. Discuss the following example: “Suppose someone in this class wants to become a pilot. What does it take to go from flying paper airplanes to jets in the sky?” Say, “Certain things are required to become a pilot. You can’t just get there in one step, right? You have to go to flight school, pass flight tests, get your pilot’s license, etc. In other words, you have to take a series of steps down a hallway that leads to your goal. That hallway is lined with a number of doors that can lead you off the path to your goal. These doors can be very alluring. People may say things like, “No rules,” “No fear,” “Live for the moment,” “Go for it,” ”Everybody else is doing it” etc. These comments can tempt you to go out one or more of the doorways. It’s the sound of peer pressure calling you to “Give it a try,” Loosen up,” “Don’t be a chicken, “etc. To reach your goal, you need to develop skills to resist the temptations that would get you off track.” Let’s talk about some of the temptations that can get you off track.
- When you discussion “Bad Friends” this is an excellent time to demonstrate the chair example which demonstrates that it is easier for someone to pull you down than it is to lift them up. Be very selective and choose 2 students to demonstrate this. It would be best to have a smaller student stand in a chair in front of the class while a bigger student stands on the floor next to him/her. Ask the student in the chair to pull the student in the floor up into the chair with them. The student standing on the floor can NOT help in any way. The student in the chair must do all the work. It will be difficult, if not impossible for the student to do this. Then ask the student standing on the floor to pull the student standing in the chair down to the floor with them. This is typically easy to do. Then talk to the students about how it is easier for a “bad friend” to pull you down to their level than it is for you to pull them up to your level. Talk to them about being selective about the friends they hang out with because friends who are doing negative things can negatively influence you.
- We will talk a lot more about the risks of engaging in premarital sex during the week. Notice that we say “premarital sex”. Sex itself is not bad or evil or a distraction from your goals – when it is done in the right way. What is the purpose of sex? Sex is not just for making babies – obviously that is not the only time people have sex. Sex is for bonding, for creating and expressing intimacy. Sex is for marriage, a committed relationship, and is great when it is in marriage. When it is used outside of marriage, all kinds of complications can arise – emotional problems from giving yourself to someone who doesn’t love you to physical problems like teen pregnancy, STDs, etc.
- Pornography is not harmless. Men, women, teens and children are affected by porn on a daily basis. Regardless of the medium, the porn industry takes advantage of people everywhere to make money. According to Victor Cline and other sexual addiction therapists, pornography is addictive. Experts agree that exposure to pornography impacts the brain in similar ways to illicit drugs. Pornography is “mind poison”. It can mess people up so much that they aren’t able to have relationships, get married and have healthy families. Pornography has the power to impact a young person’s self esteem. It sets up unrealistic examples of healthy sexuality and may cause young people to desire to change their bodies. Researchers agree that pornography definitely impacts how a person views the opposite sex. Pornography is degrading and humiliating. Pornography portrays people as a collection of body parts, objects of lust who enjoy being used solely for the purpose of sexual gratification. You cannot simply walk away from pornography. While many people feel they can walk away from porn at any time, therapists state the opposite is true. The goal of pornographers is to offer such an extensive product line that the more pornography one is exposed to, the more difficult it is to walk away. Porn can be progressive, meaning one desires more hard-core porn to get the same “high” or rush feeling. Pornography influences how you perceive relationships “should” be. The media creates a false reality about relationships. Rarely are healthy marriages shown, nor reflected in a positive manner. The truth is: married people have better sex and have it more often than unmarried couples. Pornography can impact a person’s ability to connect with “real” people. Pornography is instant gratification. For many, finding sexual release is much easier than having a real relationship. Porn may give a false sense of intimacy that may cause problems later on when you want to develop real intimacy in a “real” relationship. Dopamine is hormone that is released. When dopamine cells in the pleasure circuit of the brain are activated, teens get a feeling of well-being/happiness. Practice internet safety.
- Drug and alcohol use impairs your judgment and affects your self-control. Alcohol use contributes to youth suicides, homicides and fatal injuries – the leading cause of death among youth after auto crashes. Underage drinking is a factor in nearly half of all teen automobile crashes, which are the leading cause of death among teenagers. Over half of first time sexual encounters happen while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Alcohol abuse is linked to as many as two-thirds of all sexual assaults and date rapes of teens and college students. Alcohol is a major factor in unprotected sex among youth, increasing their risk of contracting HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases. Drugs affect your emotions, making you feel paranoid, angry, hostile and anxious, even when you are not high. Many drugs are powerfully addictive and can cause aggression and violent psychotic behavior. Marijuana isn’t safe for your body – there are more than 400 known chemicals in marijuana – a single joint contains four times as much cancer-causing tar as a filtered cigarette. Inhalants can kill you instantly – by suffocation, choking on your own vomit or having a heart attack. This includes steroids. Steroid abuse has been associated with cardiovascular disease, including heart attack and stroke. These heart problems can even happen to athletes under the age of 30.
- It is hard to overcome a criminal record…including convictions of: Stealing Vandalism Selling drugs Name others… Sexting - Most kids have phones with cameras, so it is a great time to talk about sexting: sending nude, sexually suggestive or explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. Remind them that when a message or picture is sent electronically, you lose complete control over it. You don’t know where it could end up. Even if you delete it, the receiver may send it to someone else or post it on-line, where it remains forever! And if you text a picture of someone who is a minor, you can legally be charged with sending child pornography which is a very, very serious charge. Sexting is treated the same way as child pornography in most states. Distribution and possession of child pornography is a federal offense. Teens can be labeled as sex offenders and treated as felons for sexting.
- This is a broad category covering many kinds of damaging behaviors, such as: eating disorders, smoking, cutting, partying, bad attitude, laziness, bad grades, video game addiction, dropping out of school…
- If you do walk through one of those doors, can you change your course? Can you turn around and go back out into the hallway and pursue your goals? Of course you can! It may not be easy, and you may have some long-term consequences, but you can always change course and begin again! “This week we are going to identify some things that can prevent you from being all you want to be in life and having all you want to have in life. It’s going to be great and we’re going to have a lot of fun! “You have important decisions to make, you wrote goals that you would like to achieve by age 25, we talked about things that can get you off track and prevent you from achieving your goals. As you may have noticed, this is not a sex-ed. program like you probably expect. This is relationship education. Your sexuality is only one very small part of who you are physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially and spiritually. Unfortunately, for such a small part, if you mishandle it, there can be grave consequences that you may deal with for the rest of your lives. Your ability to have relationships, however, is so much more instrumental to who each of you are, which is why we’re going to make such a big deal out of it. Don’t get me wrong, we are going to talk about sex a lot, but only so far as is necessary for you to make good decisions about it. Sex outside of the proper context can be very destructive, and we want to prevent that destruction.
- “Let’s look at a couple of these to compare” Love vs Crush ***hint: love happens slowly. Infatuation faster & less likely to last.
- We’re going to talk about how to build a healthy relationship
- Getting to know each other- not through a text. A lot is missed in body language, eye contact if texting to get to know someone.
- Fun stuff you do
- Why is Trust important? This creates a safe place to build on the next layer
- Is this living together? Why does it help to have commitment from someone? Would you be vulnerable & transparent with someone who is not trustworthy or committed?
- Again, is this (SEX) after you have moved in together & share a light bill or have said vows in a covenant relationship with friends & family supporting you?
- In summary… Talking – this is how you get to know each other, ease of communication Memories - Shared experiences, memories build relationships (how many times do you say: “remember that time…”) Trust - Being friends, feeling safe with each other, honoring boundaries, valuing each other’s opinions, trust and honesty Commitment/Marriage Sex Point out that sex is the top layer, the one that should go on last. Say, “But what would happen if you got the order wrong and put the top piece on too soon?” Draw a cake diagram with the order of the pieces mixed up. Say, “The relationship would probably topple because sex isn’t something you can base a relationship on; it’s meant to be added only after the other foundational elements are in place.” Say, “Now that we are clear about what a lasting relationship looks like, how can we build a relationship based on love? Let’s talk about dating. Why do people date? It is NOT just a chance to hook up, get lucky, add another name to your list of conquests, or build your ego.” Get to know yourself and others. What are your likes/dislikes? What do you dream about? What is important to you? What makes you special? Learn to feel more at ease in a relationship. Feel acceptance from another person who chooses to spend time with you. Develop a sense of independence. Choose a marriage partner and prepare for a lasting relationship. Build relationships based on love, not infatuation. Dating is not a game to conquer as many girls/guys as you can. Remind your class that there are countless ways to have fun without having sex.