how to deal with conflict and bullying in your teen years

1. Communication, Conflict
Resolution, Bullying and
Harassment
FAMILY STUDIES: UNIT 2

2. Communication:
• The exchange of information between two or more people
• The basis for all interpersonal (between people) relationships
• Takes many forms (verbal, non-verbal, symbolic)

3. Communication Process Model

4. Communication Process Model
Sender: Person or thing sending the message. May be a person, television commercial, book, billboard, music video
Receiver: Person that receives the message
Message: Information sent by the sender to the receiver
Feedback: Information the receiver sends back to sender
Let’s the sender know what message the receiver received.
Can be verbal such as paraphrasing, or a question
Can be non-verbal such as a yawn, a frown, or a laugh
Barrier: Anything that stops or alters the original message from being sent
Includes sound, body language, cultural differences, prejudice, etc.

5. Methods of Communication
Verbal the spoken word. It can be influenced by your tone voice, change in
speech pattern, emphasis on certain words, lingo used.
Ex. “Where have you been?” (the meaning changes when you change the above).
“ How are you?”
(see PP on tone and emphasis)

6. Non-Verbalcommunication is accomplished without words. It is often
referred to as “body language”.
Ex. hand signals, facial expressions, leaning into or away from a person, yawning,
eye contact.

7. What’s being said? What’s going on?

8. Symbolic a symbol is anything that stands for something else.
Ex. Emojis, traffic signs, clothing care symbols, maps, brand name logos.

9. Symbolic Communication – What do the
following symbols represent?

10. Barriers to Communication
At any point during communication, a barrier can occur. Barrier’s keep us from
understanding other’s ideas and thoughts. Barriers can be either internal or
external.
• External Barriers include; mixed messages, loud noise, poor internet and/or
phone connections, time of day, environment (too hot/cold, bright/dark).
• Internal Barriers include; personal feelings (tired, hungry) or emotions (fear,
stress), inactive listening, prejudism, perception.

11. External Barriers
mixed messages
loud noise
poor internet and/or phone connections
time of day
environment (too hot/cold, bright/dark)
(can you think of examples for the above?)

12. Internal Barriers
1. Personal Feelings or Emotions; sometimes when we are under stress or tired or
hungry, we may say things we don’t mean or say things in a way that sends a different message than we
meant. How we feel may also affect “what we hear” and “the message we receive”. One way to avoid
this is to use “I Messages” when speaking with others particularly when we are emotional or the topic
may illicit strong feelings.
“I messages”: express the speaker’s thoughts and feelings in a non-hostile, non-threatening way and focus
on the consequences the behaviour creates for us rather than the person or the behaviour itself.

13. An “I message” includes three parts:
• Your feelings
• The undesirable behaviour
• The consequences of the undesirable behaviour.
Example
Message sent using a “You-message”:
You are angry with a friend ”You’re a *&%^^”
Intended message sent using an “I message”:
“I don’t like when you tell others something I told you in confidence because then I feel like I can’t trust you.”

14. Internal Barriers
2. Inactive Listening
Active listening can be achieved by:
• Eliminating distractions ( TV, music, other conversations)
• Using your eyes and ears (watch for non-verbal cues)
• Not interrupting the speaker or finishing their sentences.
• Being aware of your own non-verbal messages.
• Giving feedback (paraphrasing or asking questions)

15. Internal Barriers
3. Prejudice
Prejudism:
• Is an unreasonable attitude or preconceived idea about someone.
• It closes your mind to any information that runs counter to your attitude.
• It may limit a person to emotional rather than rational responses.

16. Internal Barriers
4. Perception
Perception is how we see things and is based on our background and the
information we have about a situation (we may not have the whole story).
• Our differences are often the reason we see things differently than others. This is
because we all have different values, interests and experiences.
• It is important to remember this as we communicate with others and attempt to
resolve conflicts.

17. What cues do we use do figure out what is happening in
the a situation?

18. Justin Bieber leaves his hotel amidst hoards of screaming
fans to make his way to the Bercy Concert Hall.

19. A father had not idea what to expect when he
accompanied his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert.

20. British tennis player, Andy Murray, celebrates a
point.

21. How Do the Barriers to Communication Cause
Communication Breakdown?
• mixed messages (verbal cues differ from non-verbal cues causing confusion)
• Use of “ you messages” (blaming causes defensiveness, message may go
unheard).
• Inactive Listening (not listening actively can cause a message to get altered).
• Prejudism (message does not get heard at all)
• Perception (personal references may alter message)

22. Communication Breakdown May Lead to Conflict and Tension
• Tensions arise when people communicate. If you have ever heard
someone say, “We’re best friends, we never fight”, you may doubt
their honesty or question how aware they are of what is going on
around them.

23. Conflict is Inevitable, How you Communicate Makes The Difference!
• However well you get along with someone there will come a time when your
needs, ideas or values will not match.
• It is up to those involved however to decide whether that conflict will be
constructive or destructive.
• While constructive conflict resolution requires the time and effort of those
involved, as we consider the outcomes of both, it is clear it is worth it.

24. Destructive Conflict Resolution vs.
Constructive Conflict Resolution
Outcomes of Destructive Communication
• hurt feelings
• frustration
• Enemies
• violence

25. Outcomes of Constructive Communication
• Solutions that all are satisfied with.
• Greater understanding of each other.
• New skills that will help with future conflicts.

26. Why Try Constructive Conflict Resolution?
Constructive conflict resolution offers an opportunity to improve
communication because it offers people a chance to learn about each
other as they discuss their different feelings, beliefs and attitudes.

27. 5 Steps to Constructive Conflict Resolution
1. Define the conflict clearly.
2. Generate as many possible solutions as you can.
3. Evaluate the possible solutions (pros and cons of each).
4. Seek the solution that best satisfies everyone involved.
5. Examine the outcome once the solution has been tried (this gives you skills for
future conflict resolution).

28. A friend constantly points out to others when you make mistakes or
are unable to do things well and makes a joke about it so everyone
laughs at you. (write out the steps and solve the conflict)
1. Define
2. Generate
3. Evaluate
4. Seek
5. Examine

29. 1. Define
A friend publicly makes fun of you when you are unable to do something properly.
2. Generate (possible solutions) 3. Pros and Cons (of possible solutions).
Possible Solutions Pros Cons
Ignore them They quit when they don’t
get a reaction from you.
They keep doing it
because everyone else
laughs.
Make fun of them when they make
a mistake.
They stop when they
realize how bad it feels.
They get angry with you
and you are no longer
friendly towards each
other.
Talk to them when it is just the two
of you and tell them it bothers you
They say they didn’t
realize it bothered you and
they quit.
They tell you it is not a
big deal and you should
just chill.

30. 4. Seek
We are pretty close friends so I am going to talk to them privately, explain that it
bothers me and ask them to stop.
5. Examine
I talked to my friend, they laughed at first and said it is not a big deal but when I
told them how much it bothered me, they stopped doing it.