Leadership: The Civility Imperative

Russell Martin & Associates, A Moser Company 317.598-8022 lou.russell@moserit.com
Leadership:
The Civility Imperative
P 1 Russell Martin & Associates, A Moser Company 317.598-8022 lou.russell@moserit.com
Based on the book
Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace by Christine Porath
I do not want to be shielded from what is
happening in the world, but, at the same time, I do
not want to be overcome by incivility, anger, hatred
and greed. What happens is beyond my control.
How I react is up to me. – Sister Mary Luke Jones

The Roadmap
2

What is the Civility Issue?
3
What have you noticed at work about…

Civility is…
4

The High Costs of Incivility
5
“Incivility is in the eyes of the recipient. It’s how
people feel they are treated. “
Staff won’t tell
+ stress
= lost employees /customers

Fortune Magazine found that
Fortune 1000 firms spend 7 weeks a
year mending employee relationships
instead of driving strategy.
How many weeks annually are spent fixing conflict in large companies?
 The American Psychological Association estimates that workplace
stress costs the US economy:
o $ 500 billion a year
o 550 billion workdays are lost annually
o 60 – 80 % of workplace accidents occur due to stress
o Healthcare costs are 46% higher for less stressed peers
 Employees on the receiving end of incivility react this way
intentionally:
o 48% decrease their work effort
o 47% decrease the time they spend at work
o 38% decrease the quality of their work
o 78% quit their job
o 25% take their frustrations out on customers

Russell Martin & Associates, A Moser Company 317.598-8022 lou.russell@moserit.com7
FIGHT
Flight Freeze
goo.gl/zEwnei (1.21 mins)

Our brain takes shortcuts, creates ‘schemas’
that help us make sense of the world. But
our unconscious short cuts sometimes make
us misinterpret things.
Boulder Hearts Women In Tech

#1
#1
In & Out
#2
#3

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: the more negative the
response you are having, the more blind you are.
Intention
Self-Awareness
Self-Regulation
Authentic Respect
Dignity
Courtesy
Kindness
People can
clearly tell
when you are
faking it.

Resetting Civility:
Return On Investment
Civil people:
Progress faster in their careers
Get more opportunities to work with others
Makes it far easier to build productive
professional networks
Tend to drive connection and collaboration
Have stronger teams and performance
outcomes
Drive contagious civility
11

A Civility Checkup:
Small Neglect
1. Neglect to say Please and Thank You
2. Use email when the conversation should be face-to-face
3. Take too much credit for collaborative work
4. Email or text during meetings
5. Keep people waiting needlessly
6. Delay access to information or resources
7. Use jargon even when it excludes others
8. Pass the blame when you contributed to the mistake
9. Spread rumors
10. Belittle others nonverbally
11. Don’t listen
12. Show up late / leave early
13. Behave disrespectfully when disagreeing
14. Judge people who are different than you
12
Count the
number you
don’t ever do

Civility Fundamentals
Civility Fundamentals
Smile
Build 360
Relationships
Listen
13
Six Strategies to Improve
• Ask for focused feedback on your
best and worst behaviors
• Work with a coach or peer group
• Conduct a team tune-up: use
colleagues or friends as coach
partners
• Get 360 Feedback (need a 360 Survey?
Email here.)
• Practice reading the emotions of
others (need an EQ assessment? Email
here.)
• Make time for reflection (here’s a
podcast I love when I drive to work)

Civility Worksheet
14
Opportunity What must I
stop doing?
What should I
start doing?
What is a
measurable
goal with a
due date that
I can commit
to?
Use this table to think through your next steps:
NOTICE - CHOOSE

Defending Yourself
 Do I feel physically safe?
 Was the behavior intentional?
 Is the offender’s behavior unique?
Your sense of self becomes critical.
Rather than accept the incivility and get dragged into
negativity distraction and self-doubt, reframe the situation.
Attribute the behavior to the perpetrator, not yourself.
15
If you think about the destructive
behavior as something they have chosen,
you will not blame yourself.

Russell Martin & Associates, A Moser Company 317.598-8022 lou.russell@moserit.com 16

Where to Get More Help
At www.russellmartin.com:
•Purchase books in the Book Store
•Get our LEARNING FLASH e-zine for
more tips and tools
•Find out about workshops, webinars, e-learning
and virtual alumni communities
•info@russellmartin.com
@nolecture Lou Russell
17
The Power of You: EQ call for more info 317.409.3464

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