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Chapter Nine
SUITOR
It was a cold early morning when the fog filled the valley.
Karembo, Ngonjo’s sister, went to Kirango River to draw
water. It was a common occurrence for young women to
accompany one another to fetch the day’s water. This was
one of the rare times that Karembo was alone. Since the
Chief’s incident, it became very difficult for Karembo to
go to the market or the river alone. She had to look for
company even if it meant taking along a young lad like
Gatema with her.
“Good morning daughter of somebody,” said the voice
of a stranger who stood beside the watering point where
Karembo was filling her container. Karembo looked up
quickly but didn’t answer the stranger. She quickly looked
down before she could identify the man properly. The
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stranger once again repeated the greetings and added
that he would like some water to drink if she didn’t mind
passing it over to him using the wide arrowroot leaf that
he had plucked at the edge of the river. Without looking
at him, Karembo answered the stranger that she had no
time to fetch him water and that he was welcome to lower
the leaf into the water to draw water for himself.
“You must be a very proud girl. You talk as if you are
aware that you are the most beautiful girl anyone ever
came across,” he said smiling. He looked at Karembo
and dipped the leaf into the water and held the water up
and drank it in a few gulps then threw the leaf into the
flowing river.
Without raising her head, Karembo looked at the stranger
through the side of her eyes and asked him whether he
knew her and where he came from. She warned him
that she would scream if he didn’t explain himself fast
enough. She told him that she was not comfortable with
him coming very close to her at that hour of the morning.
“I come from the other side of Kirango, Mwengo village
and I am on my way to visit my uncles and other relatives.
They live in the next two ridges after Kirango. I am going
there on a mission of looking for a suitor to marry,” the
man explained.
“How come you can’t look for a woman to marry in your
village? Are you a criminal?” Karembo enquired and
prepared herself to lift the water container and start going
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home. She turned down the request by the man to assist
to lift the water container onto her back as she swiftly
swung round to place it on her back herself.
“I request you to give me a little time and allow me to give
you the reason for looking for a suitor elsewhere apart
from my home area,” he told her in a bid to answer her
question.
“You can only talk to me while you are ahead of me but
not when you are behind me,” Karembo told the man as
she hastily walked up the hill. The man complied and
he quickly took a few steps ahead of her and continued
to explain.
“The Agikuyu say that the compound grass is not as tasty
as the field grass out there and is therefore not edible,”
he explained and turned around and looked at Karembo
and smiled. Karembo noticed his well arranged snow
white teeth with a moderate gap. She also noticed his
well pronounced biceps and his long thick framed legs.
She quickly concealed her expression of admiration by
bending down as if to put in place the water container in
order to avoid direct eye contact with the man. She did
not want him to notice that she had admired his physique.
When they reached the top of the ridge overlooking the
next ridge, she hastily diverted and asked the man to go
well. As she started moving towards home, the man also
moved with her. The man asked her where her home was
and if it was possible for him to visit her one of these
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days. Karembo answered that she did not invite strangers
to her home and she left the man standing alone. She
hastened her steps and only looked behind when she took
the last corner that led to her homestead. The man was
still standing at the departure point. Little did Karembo
know that this encounter would lead to her betrothal and
subsequent marriage to this man.
On a Saturday afternoon, two months after the encounter,
three old men, three old women and two young men visited
Karembo’s homestead. Kamindo, Karembo’s father, was
inside his thingira and the women were chatting next to
a granary. Karembo was with her grandmother in her
hut cooking arrowroots. Grandmother liked to engage
Karembo anytime she was cooking arrowroots because
she assisted her in flaring up the fire for her for the
arrowroots to cook faster.
“Are there owners in this homestead?” one of the men
asked loudly and moved towards the granary. Two of the
old men were clad in goatskin, which were tied at the
shoulder. The third one wore a cloak made of monkey
skin and a hat made of a Colobus monkey’s skin. He held
in his arm a walking stick and a fly whisk.
The women who were seated beside the granary stood
up and answered the old man to the affirmative.
They welcomed them. Kamindo came out of his hut.
Grandmother also joined the visitors. Only Karembo
didn’t come out. She peeped through a hole in the wall
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and noticed the strange man she had met at the river a
few months ago. She went back to stoke the fire using a
metal pipe and adding a few pieces of dry wood to the fire.
Stools were collected from various huts and a meeting
was convened outside grandmother’s hut. All exchanged
pleasantries while each one held a stool to sit in a circle.
“You can’t start talking to us before you bite something.
You might curse us for being mean,” grandmother said as
she moved towards the hut. She came back with steaming
arrowroots on a large gitaruru, the one she used to winnow
cereals, and she placed it in the middle of the group.
Kienjeku and Ngonjo’s mothers stood up and each one
of them quickly entered their huts and brought milk
which they shared among the visitors. They also brought
sticks and issued each one of them with one to peel the
arrowroots. There was a moment of silence as they ate
to the last arrowroot.
“Ladies and gentlemen, what has brought you here to
this humble dwelling of ours?” Kamindo broke the silence
after each one was settled after the meal.
“We submit that we are in a great home where there are
people who look like us. A great home is made by the
souls that live in it. It is not determined by the numerous
numbers of huts in it. Good homes are not made of walls.
They are made of people,” one old woman answered.
“Now that we have eaten to our satisfaction, I think it is
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in order for me to state directly that we have come here
because of this young man who accompanies us. He
wants one of the grown up daughters of this home to be
his wife. He has already expressed that desire to us and
after doing our research we have found that our clan and
your clan are compatible in marriage. I have nothing else
but to make it official that we want your daughter to be
our daughter-in-law,” the leading old man concluded. He
then proceeded to wipe his face and forehead with the
green leaves that he was holding.
The Agikuyu culture requires discussions to be held
while one is holding a green branch which symbolises
peace. One would prefer to wipe sweat with a green leaf
as opposed to a dry one.
“It’s unfortunate that you have ambushed me at this time
of the day and found me alone in this homestead. This
is a weighty matter because we have never seen a man
trying to marry off a daughter alone. Nevertheless I shall
answer you because if I insist on getting another old man
from my neighbourhood to talk on my behalf, you might
be late going back home. I want to suggest that I call the
girl in question and ask her what her opinion is about
this matter,” Kamindo said.
“You have really touched my heart with your kind words
of wisdom. It is true that a child does not belong to the
parents alone. A child belongs to the clan and society in
general. Therefore, we are not going to mind if you address
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us alone because the mistake is ours as we came here
without notice. This young man was so impatient with us
that he could not give us enough time to arrange matters.
I wonder what kind of angel this girl that he is after is,”
the old man concluded with a light touch.
Kamindo cleared his throat and went on to call Karembo
to come outside from her grandmother’s hut. She came
out and shyly went round the group greeting each one
of them by hand.
“This is a real beauty. I swear by the name of my father
who sired me that this beauty must be ours come what
may,” one of the old ladies who continued to laugh in
appreciation while tightly embracing Karembo said. The
young man watched with a wide smile on his face as
Karembo returned to stand next to her father.
“Karembo, I can now tell you that these people led by
that young man have come here to ask for your hand in
marriage. Do you allow me to listen to them or not?” he
posed to her. Karembo drew some lines on the ground
with her big toe and uttered a few inaudible words
accompanied by a shy yes.
“You have heard it yourselves, you should bring now or
another day, the prerequisite items that are required for
asking for her hand in marriage,” Kamindo concluded.
“We are old enough to give an assurance that all that will
happen and this girl shall be ours in the next few days.
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I should add that our clan is not a clan of paupers. We
shall fulfil our obligations at the right time. We shall send
emissaries to inform you on the next step of action,” said
one of the old women.
The Agikuyu ethnic group is generally capitalistic. Lack
of basic commodities like cows or goats to pay for dowry
is viewed as a curse. Anyone lacking these is called ngia,
which means a pauper. A poor man has no honour in the
Agikuyu community.
After the visitors left, Karembo’s mother burst into tears
and cursed the jailed Chief Jotham for destroying the
virginity of Karembo by raping her down at the river.
Her cry brought a sad cloud over the homestead. All of
them started cursing the Chief one after the other and
turned it into a prayer that the god of Kirinyaga would
do something and perform a miracle that would ensure
that Karembo did not get humiliated as a woman and
that the man who was interested in her would take her
as she was. Kamindo asked them to cool down and wait
and see how the next engagement ceremony would go.
After a few days the families met together and agreed on
the actual quantity of the dowry and blessed the newly
married couple and allowed them to go and start a life
as man and wife. A few goats were brought as part of
the dowry while the rest would be paid in instalments.
There was a lot of food and beer. There was a lot of
dancing as well as wailing. The mother of Karembo cried
uncontrollably when she left with her new in-laws. The
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ladies from Karembo’s new family calmed them and
promised that they would soon come back to let them
know how Karembo was and how she had settled in her
new home.
After a few days a group of women from the groom’s side
visited Karembo’s home. The women looked unusually
happy and they danced with a lot of vigour. Karembo’s
family was highly tensed and it could be felt in their
dance. After eating and drinking, two elderly women
produced a calabash full of milk and handed it over to
Kienjeku’s mother. She took the calabash and ran into
grandmother’s house. She was followed by a few curious
women. Karembo’s mother ran out of the homestead’s
entrance and stood pensively beside a bush. She lifted
her eyes up into the sky and put her hands on top of her
head. She fell to the ground and called for god the father
of Kirinyaga to pity her and her daughter.
After a few minutes ululations and shouts of jubilation
came from grandmother’s house. The excited women came
out dancing and singing words of praise about Karembo.
Karembo’s mother came running from the entrance and
joined in the dance. The women in the other party also
joined in the dance. It was a hilarious jubilation that was
not anticipated. Kamindo and a few old men who were
around could not hide their excitement.
“When I entered the hut and poured the milk into a
cooking pot, I saw black beans, njahi, and because I
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expected to see the beads of goat’s dung, I could not
hold my happiness in knowing that our Karembo was
pure,” Kienjeku’s mother explained to the others after
the ceremony, as others who had not accompanied her
asked her if she was sure she saw the right thing and
it was not her imagination. They all agreed that god of
Kirinyaga had performed his miracle that day and the
day the Chief raped their daughter.
In Agikuyu culture, a ceremony to establish the purity
of a woman is performed immediately the girl is taken
to the groom’s home. That evening the groom and the
bride sleep in the same hut. A number of women led by
the mother of the groom enter the house where they hold
the bride stiff so that the groom can break her virginity.
If the women realise that the bride is not a virgin, they
shall indicate that to their in-laws by carrying a calabash
of milk and dropping in some goats’ dung, which is
usually in the shape of round beads. If the bride is a virgin
they shall put a few seeds of njahi. It is left for the other
party to read the message during the visit. In the event
that the girl is found to be impure or the man is found
to be impotent, the marriage is nullified.
After the ecstatic moment, the mother of Karembo,
grandmother and Kienjeku’s mother sent off Karembo
with a word that one day, they wanted to know how she
had kept the secret of her purity so tightly.
Karembo explained this to her parents when the two
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women and their friends visited Karembo for a baby
shower after she had delivered her first child, a boy who
was named after her husband’s father.
A baby shower in Agikuyuland is a women’s affair. They
gather as a team and organise the visits for mothers
who have just delivered. They offer gifts and advise
new mothers on how to handle their baby. They advise
on how to feed the baby and how to manage the new
development of the home. They also advise on how to
handle the husband along with the new baby. They also
get to discuss about the process of the delivery.
During baby showers, which are organised by the close
members of the woman’s or the man’s family, it is the time
to establish the nature of delivery. They establish whether
the newly delivered mother and child are medically fit.
The women who consist of old and young women take
the opportunity to exchange ideas on family matters.
They take the moment to worship and ask for blessings
for the new born.
“I can only give thanks to grandmother who taught me
how to deal with a ruthless man who attacks or tries to
rape me. I was told by grandmother to bite his finger and
refuse to let it go as soon as he brings his hand on my
mouth to silence me,” Karembo said.
“I bit the finger of the evil Chief when he forced his hand
to block my mouth. Thanks to my grandmother for giving
me a chance to be a dignified woman. She taught me
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about my sexuality at an early age. She taught me why it
is important to preserve my dignity as a woman. I am now
here because she was always there for all of us girls. She
made us know that we are women of dignity. She was our
ideal mentor because she led by example,” she concluded
and pulled her baby to her chest to breastfeed him.
