Feedback

1. At work, we constantly oscillate
between two positions: the one in
which we receive feedback and the
Do we really get feedback as much
as we truly need it? Is it really that
important? Are we always ready to
receive or to give feedback?
Right from our childhood years, we
are facing feedback in an informal
way, at home with our family, so this
should mean in theory that we
should be used to receiving different
opinions, be it positive or negative
ones, however, as adults are we still
as flexible when it comes to
feedback?
one in which we have to provide it. In
the employer-employee relationship
and all the hierarchical variations in
between, we ask ourselves the
following question: "How often should
feedback be given or received?”
More and more frequently I hear
stories so embarrassing that they
could not have possibly been
invented. Stories about people who
are considered specialists until the
moment when the situation asks for
them to provide a professional
opinion that they basically owe you
due to their experience and
expertise, at which point they run
behind ghosting or a copy-paste
message, as neutral and vague as
possible. I never treated the subject
with proper attention until I was in
the (ungracious) position of the one
to run away, myself.
F E E D B A C K
Yes, I admit, I was wrong, I ran
away, I shirked my responsibility
and did not provide feedback when
I should have. I did not disappear
from the face of the Earth, but I
carefully chose many words that in
the end meant nothing and I was
ashamed of myself, my work and
my wasted potential.
I wondered at the end of the day
what actually meant doing your job
well, and then drew the line, facing
the deserved self-reprimands and
asked myself what many of us
probably wonder: why are people so
scared to motivate their yeses and
noes? After all, it all comes down to
whether or not we like a product or
service, determining its usefulness
and efficiency, identifying a need
and satisfying it, or finding a fit
Let’s address feedback - this taboo
of our time, about which we could
write enough for a doctoral thesis,
but how about we dot the i's and
cross the t's?
1

2. One very important aspect that is part
of the working environment is the
feedback provided by subordinates to
their managers. This type of feedback is
not so commonly provided, despite the
fact that it would surely bring benefits, if
it were to actually happen. I have
debated this topic with a great number
of acquaintances, each of them with
different professional backgrounds and
coming from different organizational
cultures, and the main point that came
to light was that more often than not
there is no favorable context in which to
provide feedback to a manager.
Therefore: if we are not given the
chance to an open discussion for
feedback, then we simply create it.
F E E D B A C K
between a person and a team, right?
When we take a look at a manager for
instance, we automatically expect them
to have the ability to think critically and
assess various situations and people.
For some of them, however, positive
feedback is not an option and so,
negative reviews become constant and
direct tools for exercising authority and
control, the perfect recipe for
demotivating the very people they are
supposed to rely on.
We don’t know what to do with it, how
to evaluate it, whether or not it is well-
intended, or puts pressure on us,
whether the expectations of those
around us change or we start to be
viewed differently by others.
Of course, we are not considering the
cases when, being a manager, you can
be in the unpleasant situation to
present an unwanted truth - such as
the case of a dismissal or a non-
extension of the probation period. In
this way of contexts, a lot of tact is
failure (the feedback not being
understood or taken as intended,
not knowing how to provide
feedback, as a manager);
facing an inappropriate or violent
reaction;
creating a conflict;
lack of impact and further
improvement;
fear of bosses;
dismissal or spontaneous
resignation;
fear of hurting the feelings of the
interlocutor;
subjectivity;
fear of getting feedback to the
one provided.
Why are we so afraid to give
feedback?
Here is a list of some of the
reasons listed by those close to me:
needed, empathy and kindness.
We are glad if someone validates us,
but we find it hard to do the same with
others and recognize their merits.
On the other hand, however, we are
terrified to face negative criticism or
rejection, and we do not feel ready to
argue in front of anyone what points
they should work on or why we chose
to look elsewhere while conducting a
recruitment process.
Have you ever been in the position of
observing that an entire team felt that
their manager's attitude towards them
and their work was unjust, yet no one
came forward about it, to the manager
or further up the hierarchy? To me,
personally, this situation feels familiar.
Most people tend to fear their
manager's authority, wrongly believing
that they are the only ones to hold the
power of passing judgement over their
work. This couldn't be farther from the
truth.
A good business idea requires the
right people to turn the business plan
into reality, and we must understand
that, although the goal of any
And yet, how many of us have not
asked themselves, regardless of which
side we belong to, "why someone else
and not me?", "what am I missing?" or
"where did I go wrong?", "what should
I improve?".
At work we also find ourselves in
the position of providing feedback to
our coworkers – either from our own
team or a different department.
Therefore, we need to face
numerous situations that imply
feedback. It takes being skilled,
having diplomacy, and sometimes
even courage to express our
opinions.
There are so many job titles invented,
whose names have little substance, as
well as individualistic managers who get
to lead teams without having any people
skills.
If the manager avoids discussion, then
we must initiate it. It is indeed that
simple - if we lack feedback, we ask for
it.
The team is the one to really feel
the gaps in work processes, the real
volume of tasks, any improvement
needs, lack of resources, vision, or
clear goals.
Very often it is much easier to say that
a process needs improvement, rather
than saying that it needs more than
one person to complete it, and that
the standard 8 hours of work are not
enough, no matter how productive,
organized, willing or motivated we
would be.
2

3. Ioana G.
Ioana S.
organization is to achieve high
performance - which for the private
sector this means profit, our employees
or colleagues are not just numbers.
We constantly expect the evaluation
of our leaders and managers, just as
we want to express our opinions
regarding various decisions or
processes.
At the same time, I can also
imagine myself in the position of a
candidate who recently had an
interview at company “X” and whose
HR “Y” or hiring manager “Z” gave
them the impression that everything
went wonderfully, thus making them
have positive expectations, but they
haven't heard back from the HR, or
worse, the candidate only received a
refusal, without being told what was
the main reason that led to it, the
cause of this faulty practice being
this time found on the initiator’s end,
not the receiver.
The fears listed above can overwhelm
us, but the lack of involvement from
one end or the other can also be tiring,
because it does not turn into change.
If a trainer/manager were to repeat the
same message to me ten times in a
month regarding an aspect that needs
to be improved, the ball would clearly
be in my court, and we could consider
that the message either does not
manage to reach me or I do not have
enough resources to act in the desired
direction.
Recruiter or hiring manager, trainer,
teacher, doctor, engineer, air traffic
controller, racing pilot, entrepreneur,
site manager - any position requires to
some extent the interaction with people
who need to know if and why they do
what they do well, or where they need
to have a different approach to do well.
This is the first article in a series,
and the objective of our project is
to bring forward topics related to
the other half of our lives - the
work life, and to invite to free
discussion, so please feel free to
agree, disagree or complete us.
Thank you!
Pointing the finger and shaming
others are not methods through which
we can have an impact and build
effective working relationships.
People should not go to work constantly
with the fear of making a mistake.
Instead, they should have the certainty
that if they do, they will be able to
discuss with their bosses and colleagues
how to avoid these instances in the
future. Mistakes can be prevented, only
if people have the chance to learn from
them and discuss
them.
We cannot complain endlessly about
the lack of feedback, about just
receiving it without reaction from our
part, or just keep waiting for it. It is
definitely not a one-way street – an
action is also needed on our part as
well.
Some organizations have already
implemented the distribution of various
questionnaires (anonymous most of the
times) among their employees, to
request feedback about the company
or managers, but how honest are
people, really?
We have to use feedback as a
tool, because what we are
essentially looking for is for things
to improve, which otherwise cannot
happen if we are to remain silent.
F E E D B A C K 3
Account Manager at
Feel IT Services
Senior Accounting Manager at
Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.