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u n t i t l e d
u n t i t l e d
A thesis presented in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree
Master of Fine Arts in Jewelry & Metalsmthing in the Department of Jewelry & Metalsmithing
of the Rhode Island School of Design, Providence, Rhode Island.
Approved by
Master’s Examination Committee:
Tracy Steepy
Thesis Chair
Associate Professor
Graduate Director of
Jewelry & Metalsmithing
Lauren Fensterstock
Thesis Advisor
Visiting Professor, Department of
Jewelry & Metalsmithing
Lori Talcott
Thesis Advisor
Visiting Professor, Department of
Jewelry & Metalsmithing
by Esme Choi, 2015
u n t i t l e d
Copyright © 2015
Esme Choi
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2015 by the author of this book, Esme Choi.
The author retains sole copyright to her contribution to this book.
Photographs by Azur Mele McHugh, unless otherwise noted.
Table of Contents
Abstract
1. Identity Chain
2. Structure
3. Untitled Identity
4. Color
Finding Color 1
Finding Color 2
5. Reflection
6. Belief
7. Facets 1
Facets 2
Facets 3
8. Remain Untitled
Acknowledgments
Bibliography
13
17
31
41
49
57
71
79
89
103
115
123
127
152
155
Abstract
13
‘I’ is the most difficult entity for me to identify. The meaning of self, as I
get closer, slips away. Sometimes I feel akin to one identity, and at other
times, another. None of them feels completely accurate. In these mo-
ments of uncertainty, I remind myself that possessing multiple selves is
acceptable and that in the spaces between them resides the power and
possibility for eventually finding and defining my true self. My parents
gave me four different names at different times due to our religion, Bud-
dhism. At present, my name is Esme here in the United States, while in
South Korea I am Hyungyo. Before I was Esme, I was Monica, and before
I was Hyungyo, I was Dahee. According to Buddhist beliefs, the names
Monica and Dahee activated an energy opposite from that which I most
needed according to my birth date, location, and time, and thus they were
changed.
My thesis work explores how I have constructed my present identity, artis-
tically and otherwise, through the mapping of a self identity-chain and by
reflecting upon how I have observed and defined myself as a collective of
four identities. The interaction among these four names, each with their
subsequent shifting emotions, is the foundation of my creative aesthetic.
For the moment, I have decided to remain untitled despite possessing
four titles, none of which I consider as completely mine at this time of
transition. I have chosen to forgo these titles in order to consider each
in turn and isolate their individual characters. This process has allowed
me to engage in a dialogue and to generate the basis for my emerging
aesthetic: that of being an untitled self as an artist. Inhabiting a space
that is neither inside nor outside Esme, Monica, Hyungyo, and Dahee, I
have truly begun to see myself as an amalgam of all four. By stepping
outside of this construct and observing myself as if I were another per-
son, I realized that a matrix of all four—with the porosity among them and
the continuous shifting and flowing one into another—has the strongest
voice at different times. Unsure of how this realization would influence my
work itself, I felt sure that the continued investigation of my identity would
reveal the meaning of those four names and illuminate how I might inhabit
them all, or instead lead me to a state of remaining untitled.
I have never been Esme, Monica, Dahee, or Hyungyo. Each name, each
identity, still awaits discovery. And I am not ultimately seeking a name; I
have chosen to remain untitled as a way of being titled even as I engage
in inquiry with regard to the nature of identity itself.
Shadow was born from the light,
I was born from the self in the past,
Sadness becomes apparent when happiness is present by its side,
I become apparent when the four identities are side by side,
I am the reflection of myself in dialogue with the shadow of my past,
I became untitled by being titled as four.
15
Identity chain
17
A piece of art is no accident. A piece of art is an artist’s interpretation of
the world as viewed from the particular place he or she inhabits. A piece
of art is an expression of the artist’s unique context and experiences, and
these determine his or her aesthetic choices. As a designer and specifi-
cally as a jewelry artist, I am in continual dialogue with my influences and
inspirations as much as I am in dialogue with the body in the creation of
jewelry objects. In fact, I was, or am, my own biggest influence and the
inspiration that most defines both my identity and my work as an artist.
Not only do I possess four identities—Esme, Monica, Hyungyo, and Da-
hee—but I am also a citizen of both South Korea and the United States.
I am from Seoul, South Korea, and Edgewater, New Jersey. I live in two
different places, I am informed by two different cultures, and I think in two
different ways. While we all live in the present moment, we carry a history
that is solely our own. My history is dispersed across my different identi-
ties, reflecting various moments in time and defining them through their
respective interactions. These historical imprints of mine, together as a
whole in the present, deeply inform my studio process and the resulting
work.
My thesis body of work is a creative space wherein I define myself as an
artist as Untitled. In doing so, I not only answer the question of who I am
within the parameters of my past and my present but also question the
definitiveness of being a titled self by asking,
“Is it ever possible to identify oneself?
If so, how do we define ourselves, that is to say, by means of what cir-
cumstances and structures?”
and perhaps most importantly,
“Why do we seek to be a titled self?”
19
I am a composite of multiple personas, referred
to by four names. The re-creation and transfor-
mation of my various identities through the multi-
ple lenses of personal history, structure, colors,
and beliefs has determined the self I am today
as well as this body of work. At times I have
attempted to identify a single identity within my-
self, and this has proven even more difficult as
an artist. The vagueness of being titled as four
disparate selves is the moment when I feel chal-
lenged most by my own amalgam of identities.
Ultimately, these inquiries enhance my under-
standing of each one of the four as a separate
entity, and they bring my attention back to my
point of origin to investigate who I truly am with-
out any of the names that have been given to
me.
21
At the beginning of this investigation, in the
moment of observing all four identities as a
composite, I came across a quote of Douglas
Hofstadter, an American professor of cognitive
science whose research focuses on the sense
of ‘I’. In his work Metamagical Themas: Quest-
ing for the Essence of Mind and Pattern, he pos-
es the questions,
I have never allowed or even considered the
prospect of one identity gaining dominance over
another. I cannot say that I have valued them
equally, but I can say that I have never once
identified myself as only one of the four. Rather,
I have connected to them as though they com-
prised one amalgamated identity: the moment
of all four identities facing each other as fully
separate entities has never occurred.
“Which one of the many people who I am, the many inner voices inside
of me, will dominate? Who, or how will I be? Which part of me decides?”
(782).
23
Soon after I decided to be untitled, I was able
to discover and explore each one of my selves
more deeply by looking at them as individual
links each connected to me. I created an identi-
ty-chain, much like a family tree, wherein I trace
each of my four names separately but link them
together as one. A chain, to me, is a series of
links that has the power of binding, connecting,
and relating things to each other. It activates
all the various entities at play into one group
by threading its way through all of the available
connectible dots. In the process of engaging in
this larger inquiry with regard to self, I became
aware of a chain-like system among my four
names, and so I decided to call it The Identity
Chain. Since June 24, 1987, as a person who
holds dual citizenship, I have had the privilege
of living as more than one identity; I have al-
ways had at least two names. Because I have
had more than one name, I have also, in es-
sence, had different personalities, voices, and
attitudes depending upon which of the names
I chose to activate in any given moment, often
informed by my physical, geographic location.
The truth of my identities, then, existed some-
where among them, in the spaces between, as
I discovered in my efforts to locate myself both
consciously and unconsciously. In the end, ob-
serving each of the four separately and deeply
revealed a hidden beauty.
Like dialogue, a real question is a threshold to
unconditioned. If we ask consciously; we may
become radically available to ourselves, others,
and to the unknown. The potential is that we
gain access to deeper intelligence, our own and
that of others. From there something new can
happen, often in the forms of insight, empathy,
and inspiration. (5)
Sarah Buie, a professor at Clark University,
Inviting Dialogue: A Perspective on the Difficult
Dialogues Initiative
25
I invited this moment of being untitled as an op-
portunity to grow, an opportunity for each iden-
tity to accentuate different areas of myself as
an artist. I am an individual, and I believe in the
power of the daily accidents that stem from be-
ing involved in open and unscripted dialogue. I
mapped my identity-chain in such a moment of
unscripted dialogue, and as a result my artis-
tic sensibility was drawn to address new areas:
the structure of the chain system and the way it
orbited and shifted toward the center; the color
differences I perceived among the four names;
the recurring appearance of my religious be-
liefs; and the negotiation and eventual release
of my feelings of wanting the names to be con-
nected as one. This open-ended, unscripted in-
vestigation of the identity-chain thus enhanced,
inspired, and influenced my work.
27
I am fascinated by how we all have the poten-
tial to develop multiple identities and, more im-
portantly, to understand our personal world of
influences through the recognition of these var-
ied identities. By deciphering and defining how
these various personas became my present
self, I felt certain I could re-identify myself as a
true artist of my own creation. In this process,
my guiding inquiries were:
How do I engage with my own identities? And why?
What remains silent and what speaks loudly within each of those identities?
Most importantly,
What does the practice of dialogue offer to a jewelry artist?
29
Structure
31
In the years that I have possessed more than one identity, I have been
aware of always seeking and even craving clarity. I have longed for sta-
bility and some sense of order in my life as an individual. The more I have
tried to find that clarity and the more I have tried to plan and predict, the
more complicated and unclear my sense of self has become. Sometimes,
however, allowing the world and ourselves to remain unclear reveals
beautiful facets that were previously unseen.
Beginning with what my visual senses gleaned from the identity-chain,
I contemplated how I could give structure to something untitled and/or
unknown. Defining a structure for the unknown, for me as an artist, led
me to the notion of parts or elements comprising a complex object. An
edge is the outside limit of an object, area, or surface: the place or point
farthest away from the center. Anything that has undefined or uncertain
relationships lacks both the certainty of a center and that of an outside
limit, or border, which I call an edge.
33
A sphere is a round, solid figure in which every
point on the surface is equidistant from the cen-
ter and which possesses no edge. As I began
to identify myself as unidentified or untitled, my
work followed suit by giving form to my four iden-
tities as objects having no edges, or as spheres.
35
I placed my trust in the process, sensing that
deconstructing and reconstructing my identity
through these manifest forms would slowly lead
to an answer to the question,
Given that they are comprised of spheres, the
structures of the pieces possess an inherent
potential to be transformed through the added
definition introduced by edges, reflecting the
possibility for greater clarity and definitiveness
unearthed through my process.
“Do I have a single coherent identity, or am I untitled, and justifiably so?”
36
Structure Sterling Sliver 4”x 4”x 5” 2015
Untitled Identity
41
43
45
Untitled Identity Sterling Sliver, Magnets 2”x 4”x 1” 2015
Color
49
For both the wearer and the viewer, jewelry is a form of non-verbal com-
munication. This communication involves the application and adoption of
different visual languages within the piece. Color is an important aspect
of this vocabulary. Color has the capacity to convey multiple meanings,
dependent upon the form or structure of the object as well as how the
color itself is applied. According to Josef Albers, an American artist and
a printmaker, a color “has many faces, and one color can be made to ap-
pear as two different colors.” In Interaction of Colors, Albers also writes:
©1996 - 2015 Benjamin Moore & Co.
In my own work, I see colors as a form of support. Depending on how I
utilize a particular color or combination of colors, the physical form of the
object speaks a new language in harmony or in dissonance with the ap-
plied colors. When I first began to investigate my four different identities,
both their structures and colors were unclear. What could I say the color
of ‘untitled’ is? As such, I sought the color of non-color.
In visual perception a color is almost never seen as it really is — as it
physically is. This fact makes color the most relative medium in art. In or-
der to use color effectively, it is necessary to recognize that color deceives
continually. To this end, the beginning is not a study of color systems. (1)
51
In the book The Colour of Sex, Lynn Champion and Judy Scott-Kemmis
write about the color gray, stating:
Gray is both unemotional and detached yet also controlling in that it af-
fects all other colors with which it comes into contact, toning down stron-
ger and brighter colors and illuminating softer ones. In my work, I have
attempted to discover the color of my untitled identity. I set a foundation
color, gray, to prevent the misunderstanding of not only the work but also
myself. As I journey through the work that I refer to as being gray, I hold
to one truth: I am not just observing the color, but I am also honoring the
importance of the color as activated within the structure. In this way, the
making process is refined as I intentionally incorporate color to activate
other visual senses in the reading of the work. With such a firm (but like-
wise not so firm) foundation of establishing and applying the color gray as
the basis for my work, I am then free to explore the somewhat daunting
question of who I am, or, in other words, what color I am.
From a color psychology perspective, gray is the color of
compromise — being neither black nor white, it is the transition
between two non-colors. Being both motionless and emotionless,
gray is solid and stable, creating a sense of calm and composure,
relief from a chaotic world. The color gray is subdued, quiet and
reserved. It does not stimulate, energize, rejuvenate or excite. (9)
© JOHN HENSHALL 2005
53
Each color holds its own capacity to generate affect and possesses both
psychological and emotional meanings.
During the process of selecting color, I have realized that in choosing a
color, I am simultaneously discovering hidden aspects of my personality
or uncovering new emotions. I sense that perhaps my visual sensibility
is trying to catch my attention, to show me how I feel or to illustrate a
new aspect of my personality. White, for example, is one of the non-color
colors and is my favorite color of all. To me, it is the color that is the most
complete and pure, the color of perfection. The color white signifies purity,
innocence, wholeness, and completion. Further, according to Champion
and Scott-Kemmis,
“White contains an equal balance of all the colors of the spectrum, repre-
senting both the positive and negative aspects of all colors” (81).
They further assert,
“White tends to become a favorite at a time when you are going through
a transitional period in your life, preparing for new beginnings or seeking
a new direction in one or more areas of your life” (81).
This meaning of the color white is aligned with not only my current sta-
tus (being untitled and/or unknown) but also my past status (possessing
multiple identities). It reflects my desire to investigate my true self within
multiple selves and isolate the color of my identity.
55
Finding Color 1.
57
59Finding Color 1 Sterling Silver, Heat-sensitive Paper, Enamel, Magnets 3”x 2”x 2” 2015
61
63
65
67
I strongly believe, though, that my color mood or color choices will change
continually throughout this ongoing process of discovering who and what color I am.
68
Finding Color 2.
71
73Finding Color 2 Sterling Silver, Enamel 2.5”x 3”x 2” 2015
75
“…look at the painting in terms of individual colors. In other words, instead of
simply glancing at the work, select a specific color such as yellow or a lime
green, and take the time to see how it operates across the painting. Approached
this way, something happens, I can’t explain it. But one must enter the painting
through the door of a single color. And then, you can understand what my
painting is all about.”
Gene Davis, discussing his work, Black Grey Beat.
77
Reflection
79
Everyone has his or her own ways of interpreting and communicating.
Artists have an additional means of expressing themselves and communi-
cating through their artwork. I frame this act of communicating with others
through artistic work as a practice of reflection. Best known for political
philosophy and philosophy of social science, Charles Taylor states in his
work Multiculturalism,
“We become full human agents, capable of understanding ourselves, and
hence of defining our identity, through our acquisition of rich human lan-
guages of expression” (32).
My “acquisition of rich human languages of expression” as a jewelry artist
is undertaken in order to create a self-reflecting system that generates a
space not only for the investigation of the work, but also for the existence
of multiple identities within that work. This opportunity for my identities to
interact with each other—to interact, communicate, and dialogue amongst
themselves and with the world at large—will lead to the moment in which
new understandings, and perhaps even new identities, arise.
81
We encounter such an enormous amount of dia-
logue in our daily lives, and to focus on investi-
gating the true self amidst this river of dialogue
poses a challenge. Not only am I subject to this
external dialogue, but I also experience multi-
ple internal dialogues, which sometimes distract
me from taking time to observe and perceive my
one self or selves. Even though I have assumed
different names at different moments, all four
have coexisted inside of me and have collec-
tively formed one identity. How do my various
names and my various identities interact with
one another? Why have I not had a chance to
observe the moment where Hyungyo and Esme,
or even Monica and Dahee, have come together
as one self? I wanted to position all four iden-
tities at the center, in a place where I could re-
flect on all four, a place where they could reside
while hearing each other.
“It is where the art is engaged in a dialogue with and within itself.”
Ivan Chuikov, Analytical Tree (1994)
Reflection Sterling Silver, Mirrors 2”x 2”x 2” 2015
82
In his work Dialogue and the Art of Thinking To-
gether, William Isaacs, founder and president of
Dialogos, a leadership consulting and strategy
development firm, defines the act of dialogue by
stating,
“Dialogue … is a conversation with a center, not
sides. It is a way of taking the energy of our dif-
ferences and channeling it towards something
that has never been created before” (19).
85
I have begun to understand that the act of dia-
logue among my identities requires conditions
of trust based on each respecting the other,
recognizing that each possesses its own unique
reflections and that all serve the greater desire
to explore the unknown among them in order to
expand my understanding of self as both whole
and parts. Engaging this dialogue within the
arena of my work and investigations as a jewel-
ry artist, I have found alternate ways to commu-
nicate with my selves and to incorporate them
into one self. From the jewelry artist’s perspec-
tive, the reflections become one as a composite
of multiple identities and perspectives just as a
single jewelry object is a composite of the multi-
plicity of the maker.
86
Belief
89
I can clearly remember my first visit to a Bud-
dhist temple. I don’t recall the face of any of the
monks or the particular place, but I do vividly
recall an insight a monk shared with me, which
he experienced personally after discovering a
way to meditate not as a singular person but as
a person who embodies all the things with which
he is in dialogue:
“Your knowledge will speak, but your wisdom
will listen to you and also to others.”
지식은 나를 말하려 할테지만, 지혜를 너를 들으려 할것이란다.
91
I was born into a family that adheres strictly to Buddhist practices, so I
have been bound by specific rules that govern everyday life as well as
my interaction with others. I clearly remember my internal struggle as a
little girl when my parents called me “a daughter of Buddha.” I responded,
“Why can’t I just be a little girl, the daughter of my parents? A little girl
who loves to smile but also cries at times, who behaves but also whines
for her wants, and who is simultaneously altruistic and egocentric, just
like all the little girls around me?” I realize now that this struggle has
made me an individual who knows what it means to smile in spite of not
obtaining everything I want, and I understand how altruism inspires the
appreciation of others around me.
In addition to being Buddhists, my family has firm roots in business. As
a child of doctors who own and manage a hospital, I was encouraged to
major in a field that would contribute to the family business: manage-
ment. As a young girl who loved to draw, create, sing, and dance, this
was not my preferred area of study. Disregarding my own dreams and
interests, I studied management to please my parents. As an undergrad-
uate, I remember dearly wishing for a single day when I could spend
time learning to draw, paint, or fabricate. I wanted to be a maker. After
graduation, for the first time in 20 years, I made the decision to pursue
my own dreams. This is when I began to study jewelry manufacturing,
2D and 3D rendering, and gemology. Consequently, my parents stopped
communicating with me, and I was left to accomplish my dreams on my
own. After twelve months of struggle and facing the reality of my dreams
yet surviving through my Buddhist beliefs and meditation, I became an
even more passionate and motivated individual, and I am now a jewelry
artist, designer, and metalsmith.
Without these strong selves that live within me—the little girl who strug-
gled against the rules associated with being a practicing Buddhist and
the one who was left alone to fulfill her dreams—I would not be who I am
today. I have realized that my multiple identities ultimately support my
larger identity.
93Belief 18K Yellow Gold, Sterling Sliver, Dan-joo (Buddhist Bracelet) 2”x 7”x 2 2015
In Multiculturalism: Examining the Politics of
Recognition, Taylor mentions how important it
is for us to recognize that we start to realize our
identities through our struggles and through the
guidance of those who remain strong influenc-
es. He states:
We define our identity always in dialogue with,
sometimes in struggle against, the things our
significant others want to see in us. Even after
we outgrow some of these others—our parents,
for instance—and they disappear from our lives,
the conversation with them continues within us
as long as we live. (33)
95
I was always in dialogue with the self when I was
little girl, wanting to be free from religious rules,
but I finally identified myself as a Buddhist and
as an individual endeavoring to be an optimist.
I was also in communication with the struggling
self to fulfill my own dreams of becoming a jew-
elry artist, among other things. Those small but
strong selves inhabiting my identity, in dialogue
with the multiple selves that I am, have come to
define who I am today.
97
In Buddhism, A Way of Life and Thought, Ameri-
can novelist Nancy Wilson Ross states:
Zen holds that the so-called rational mind is in-
capable of solving an individual’s deepest prob-
lem: [one’s] meaning to [oneself] and to life…
Final awareness, lasting freedom, and true
psychological equilibrium come only when the
deepest intuitional faculties of the human being
have been tapped. (144)
I have always known that my religion isn’t the
only thing that defines who I am, but I have un-
derstood and recognized it as a tool for unravel-
ing fixed notions of who I am and how I experi-
ence the amalgam of my multiple identities.
98
Hence, physically and emotionally, my religion
is a matrix connecting all my identities into one
larger self. This matrix is a bridge I have been
building within myself throughout my life as I
have sought to discover and investigate how my
multiple inner selves together form one larger
self. My desire to understand my own selves
and thus fully comprehend what has been trans-
piring during the process of identity formation is
now redirected towards framing self-identity by
my beliefs and my life in keeping with the foot-
steps of my Buddhist forebears.
100
Facets 1.
103
I asked myself, “What happens when we en-
counter experiences that do not fit within any
kind of structure?” I accepted, at that moment
of uncertainty, that I was having an experience
of ambiguity. Sometimes this is unpleasant, but
in other instances facing such moments of am-
biguity can be stimulating. My studies of struc-
ture in relationship to identity have shown that
ambiguity plays an important role in excavating
meaning; I can build models and categories to
explain my identity, but experience itself is al-
ways bigger than any concept.
104
Mary Douglas, a British anthropologist known
for her writing on human culture and symbolism,
states in her work Purity and Danger,
“There are several ways of treating anomalies.
Negatively, we can ignore, just not perceive
them, or perceiving we can condemn. Positively
we can deliberately confront the anomaly and
try to create a new pattern of reality in which it
has a place” (38)
107
109
As I moved forward with my investigation, I
caught myself trying to create a new pattern
for my multiple selves in which they occupy not
just a place of reflection but also one of recog-
nition. As mentioned in previous chapter Struc-
ture, an edge, to me, is what defines an object
or person. The more understanding I gain of my
individualized identities, even while still experi-
encing moments of ambiguity, the more I realize
that I am creating or combining more edges in
the form. In other words, I am introducing facets
as a means of generating a new pattern for rec-
ognition of a single, composite self.
110
113Facets 1 Sterling Silver, 24K Yellow Gold Plated 2”x 2”x 1.5” 2015
Facets 2.
115
Ambiguity and changes can be uncomfortable
for me since they can be linked with insecuri-
ty and reveal both my own instability and the
weakness of the concept. This feeling of inse-
curity was not so easy for me to endure since I
generally prefer security and stability. For this
reason, clear lines, edges, and concepts in the
form of facets became central to my investiga-
tion.
117
119
120 Facets 2 Sterling Silver, 14K Yellow Gold Plated 2”x 2”x 1.5”, 1”x 2.5”x 1.5” 2015
Facets 3.
123
Mary Douglas also states,
“The final paradox of the search for purity is that
it is an attempt to force experience into logical
categories of non-contradiction. But experience
is not amenable and those who make the attempt
find themselves led into contradiction”
(162)
As the thesis work progressed through finding
and identifying myself as an amalgam of mul-
tiples, my attempt to accept all four entities
as one led me, and likewise my work, to have
meaningful and clear lines in the form of facets
to delineate the discovered contradictions.
124
Facets 3 Sterling Silver 2.7”x 2.7”x 1.5” 2015
Remain Untitled
127
[Artifacts suggest] that the imagination is bound up with compassion;
that the imagination has an inherent tendency towards largesse and
excess; that the work of the imagination is not here and there, now on,
now off, but massive, continuous, and ongoing; that the imagination
forfeits its own immunity and is self-revising; and that, finally, the imag-
ination is self-effacing, and often completes its work by disguising its
own activity. (325)
In the book The Body In Pain: The Making and
Unmaking of the World, professor Elaine Scarry
states:
128 Remain Untitled 1 Copper, Powder Coasted 7”x 8”x 0.1” 2015
During the process of creating my thesis body of
work, I have often asked myself,
“Do I, or can I remember who I was before my
names told me who I should be?”
Ultimately, though, I realized it was not those
names that decided who I should be. It was
me who decided that certain facts, colors, and
beliefs belonged to a specific name and posi-
tioned them together under a specific identity.
As I furthered the investigation, the entitlement
of choosing how I categorize myself as a com-
posite titled self became clear. I came to realize
that while I had four given names to choose to
title myself with, my true self had never had a
title; I was untitled, as a way of inhabiting my
titled selves, throughout all the years that I had
thought I was titled as something or someone.
130
As much as I was seeking to find a single true
identity, I learned through my thesis body of
work that it was not about being one-self but
rather accepting the fact that I am a composite
of multiple selves, and this realization is what
has truly enlightened my understanding as an
artist.
133
I sought to achieve distillation of an identity through my work. In the end,
though, I have achieved a new perception of identity itself. I am a jewelry artist
who is untitled with a given name, or even multiple names. Untitled-ness never
ends but instead hovers and orbits around my sense of self as both person and
artist.
134
Remain Untitled 2 Sterling Silver 3.5”x 2”x 2” 2015
137
“coffee coffee coffee”
141
123
“yes, i do smoke”
143
“every morning”
145
“what would i do without you?”
147
“it’s the flu-time of the year”
149
“overthinking... again... and again.”
151
Acknowledgments
I, Esme Choi, acknowledge those who have participated in this study.
Special thanks to…
Tracy Steepy | Lauren Fensterstock | Lori Talcott
Noam Elyashiv | Anne West | Kelli Adams
Michael Glancy | Azur Mele McHugh | Zesse McHugh
Yoon Kyung Lee | Joung G. Choi | Mugyeol Choi
Wei Lah Poh | Eiman Rezaei | Jisoo Lee
DongYun Choi | Greg Moon | Jino Kim
&
My Four...
Esme Choi | Monica Choi | Hyungyo Choi | Dahee Choi
152
Bibliography
155
Albers, Josef. Interaction Of Color. n.p.: New Haven, Connecticut : Yale University Press, 2013.
Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 24 Apr. 2015.
Bataille, Georges. Into Me/Out of Me. Ed. Klaus Biesenbach. Ostfildern: Hatje Cantz, 2007. Web.
13 Sept. 2014.
Buie, Sarah. Inviting Dialogue: Renewing the Deep Purposes of Higher Education. Worcester,
MA: Clark University Press, 2010. Print.
Champion, Lynn, and Judy Scott-Kemmis. The Colour of Sex: An Intimate Look at Relationships,
Romance and Colour. Sydney: Simon & Schuster Australia, 1999. Harvard Library Bibliographic
Dataset. Web. 28 Mar. 2015.
Douglas, Mary. Purity And Danger : An Analysis of Concept of Pollution and Taboo /
Mary Douglas ; With A New Preface by The Author. n.p.: London ; New York : Routledge, 2002.
Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 24 Apr. 2015.
Grothe, Mardy. I Never Saw a Metaphor I Didn’t Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of
History’s Greatest Metaphors, Analogies, and Similes. New York: Collins, 2008. Harvard Library
Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 27 Jan. 2015.
Gurciullo, Sebastian. “Making Modern Identity: Charles Taylor’s Retrieval of Moral Sources.”
Critical Horizons 2.1 (2001): 93-125. Academic Search Premier. Web. 13 Feb. 2015.
Hofstadter, Douglas R. Metamagical Themas: Questing for the Essence of Mind and Pattern.
New York: Basic Books, 1985. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 13 Feb. 2015.
Hudek, Antony. The Object. London: Whitechapel Gallery, 2014. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence
Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 3 Sept. 2014.
Hyde, Lewis. The Gift: Imagination and the Erotic Life of Property. New York: Vintage Books,
1983. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 27 Jan. 2015.
Isaacs, William. Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together: A Pioneering Approach to Communicating
in Business and in Life. New York: Currency, 1999. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web.
14 Feb. 2015.
Kolak, Daniel. I Am You: The Metaphysical Foundations of Global Ethics. Norwell, MA:
Springer, 2004. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 30 Jan. 2015.
Larsen, Lars Bang. Networks. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2014.
Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 27 Jan. 2015.
Levin, Leonard. Seeing With Both Eyes: Ephraim Luntshitz and the Polish-Jewish Renaissance.
Leiden: Brill, 2008. eBook Academic Collection (EBSCOhost). Web. 13 Sept. 2014.
Panofsky, Erwin. Perspective As Symbolic Form. New York: Zone Books, 1991. Fleet Library at
RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 13 Sept. 2014.
Ross, Nancy Wilson. Buddhism, A Way of Life and Thought / Nancy Wilson Ross. n.p.: New York
: Knopf : distributed by Random House, 1980. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 24
Apr. 2015.
Scarry, Elaine. The Body In Pain : The Making and Unmaking of The World. n.p.: New York :
Oxford University Press, 1985. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 24
Apr. 2015.
Suh, Do-Ho, and Hye-su U. Do Ho Suh: Home Within Home. Sŏul T’ŭkpyŏlsi:
Samsŏng Misulgwan Leeum, 2012. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 27 Jan. 2015.
Symbolon: The Catholic Faith Explained. Augustine Institute, 2010. Web. 30 Jan. 2015.
Taylor, Charles, ed. Multiculturalism: Examining the Politics of Recognition. Princeton, NJ:
Princeton University Press, 1994. ERIC. Web. 13 Feb. 2015.
157
Esme Choi
Remain untitled 2
sterling silver
3.5”x 2”x 2” 2015
Remain untitled 1
copper, powder coasted
7”x 8”x 0.1” 2015
Facets 2
sterling silver, 14K yellow gold plated
2”x 2”x 1.5”, 1”x 2.5”x 1.5” 2015
Facets 1
sterling silver, 24K yellow gold plated
2”x 2”x 1.5” 2015
Belief
18K yellow gold, sterling sliver,
dan-joo (Buddhist bracelet)
2”x 7”x 2 2015
Finding color 2
sterling silver, enamel
2.5”x 3”x 2” 2015
Structure
sterling sliver
4”x 4”x 5” 2015
Untitled identity
sterling sliver, magnets
2”x 4”x 1” 2015
Reflection
sterling silver, mirrors
2”x 2”x 2” 2015
Finding color 1
sterling silver, heat-sensitive paper,
enamel, magnets
3”x 2”x 2” 2015
Facets 3
sterling silver
2.7”x 2.7”x 1.5” 2015
ESME CHOI-Thesis Book MFA J&M

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ESME CHOI-Thesis Book MFA J&M

  • 1. u n t i t l e d
  • 2. u n t i t l e d
  • 3. A thesis presented in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree Master of Fine Arts in Jewelry & Metalsmthing in the Department of Jewelry & Metalsmithing of the Rhode Island School of Design, Providence, Rhode Island. Approved by Master’s Examination Committee: Tracy Steepy Thesis Chair Associate Professor Graduate Director of Jewelry & Metalsmithing Lauren Fensterstock Thesis Advisor Visiting Professor, Department of Jewelry & Metalsmithing Lori Talcott Thesis Advisor Visiting Professor, Department of Jewelry & Metalsmithing by Esme Choi, 2015 u n t i t l e d
  • 4. Copyright © 2015 Esme Choi All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2015 by the author of this book, Esme Choi. The author retains sole copyright to her contribution to this book. Photographs by Azur Mele McHugh, unless otherwise noted.
  • 5. Table of Contents Abstract 1. Identity Chain 2. Structure 3. Untitled Identity 4. Color Finding Color 1 Finding Color 2 5. Reflection 6. Belief 7. Facets 1 Facets 2 Facets 3 8. Remain Untitled Acknowledgments Bibliography 13 17 31 41 49 57 71 79 89 103 115 123 127 152 155
  • 6.
  • 8. ‘I’ is the most difficult entity for me to identify. The meaning of self, as I get closer, slips away. Sometimes I feel akin to one identity, and at other times, another. None of them feels completely accurate. In these mo- ments of uncertainty, I remind myself that possessing multiple selves is acceptable and that in the spaces between them resides the power and possibility for eventually finding and defining my true self. My parents gave me four different names at different times due to our religion, Bud- dhism. At present, my name is Esme here in the United States, while in South Korea I am Hyungyo. Before I was Esme, I was Monica, and before I was Hyungyo, I was Dahee. According to Buddhist beliefs, the names Monica and Dahee activated an energy opposite from that which I most needed according to my birth date, location, and time, and thus they were changed. My thesis work explores how I have constructed my present identity, artis- tically and otherwise, through the mapping of a self identity-chain and by reflecting upon how I have observed and defined myself as a collective of four identities. The interaction among these four names, each with their subsequent shifting emotions, is the foundation of my creative aesthetic. For the moment, I have decided to remain untitled despite possessing four titles, none of which I consider as completely mine at this time of transition. I have chosen to forgo these titles in order to consider each in turn and isolate their individual characters. This process has allowed me to engage in a dialogue and to generate the basis for my emerging aesthetic: that of being an untitled self as an artist. Inhabiting a space that is neither inside nor outside Esme, Monica, Hyungyo, and Dahee, I have truly begun to see myself as an amalgam of all four. By stepping outside of this construct and observing myself as if I were another per- son, I realized that a matrix of all four—with the porosity among them and the continuous shifting and flowing one into another—has the strongest voice at different times. Unsure of how this realization would influence my work itself, I felt sure that the continued investigation of my identity would reveal the meaning of those four names and illuminate how I might inhabit them all, or instead lead me to a state of remaining untitled. I have never been Esme, Monica, Dahee, or Hyungyo. Each name, each identity, still awaits discovery. And I am not ultimately seeking a name; I have chosen to remain untitled as a way of being titled even as I engage in inquiry with regard to the nature of identity itself. Shadow was born from the light, I was born from the self in the past, Sadness becomes apparent when happiness is present by its side, I become apparent when the four identities are side by side, I am the reflection of myself in dialogue with the shadow of my past, I became untitled by being titled as four. 15
  • 10. A piece of art is no accident. A piece of art is an artist’s interpretation of the world as viewed from the particular place he or she inhabits. A piece of art is an expression of the artist’s unique context and experiences, and these determine his or her aesthetic choices. As a designer and specifi- cally as a jewelry artist, I am in continual dialogue with my influences and inspirations as much as I am in dialogue with the body in the creation of jewelry objects. In fact, I was, or am, my own biggest influence and the inspiration that most defines both my identity and my work as an artist. Not only do I possess four identities—Esme, Monica, Hyungyo, and Da- hee—but I am also a citizen of both South Korea and the United States. I am from Seoul, South Korea, and Edgewater, New Jersey. I live in two different places, I am informed by two different cultures, and I think in two different ways. While we all live in the present moment, we carry a history that is solely our own. My history is dispersed across my different identi- ties, reflecting various moments in time and defining them through their respective interactions. These historical imprints of mine, together as a whole in the present, deeply inform my studio process and the resulting work. My thesis body of work is a creative space wherein I define myself as an artist as Untitled. In doing so, I not only answer the question of who I am within the parameters of my past and my present but also question the definitiveness of being a titled self by asking, “Is it ever possible to identify oneself? If so, how do we define ourselves, that is to say, by means of what cir- cumstances and structures?” and perhaps most importantly, “Why do we seek to be a titled self?” 19
  • 11. I am a composite of multiple personas, referred to by four names. The re-creation and transfor- mation of my various identities through the multi- ple lenses of personal history, structure, colors, and beliefs has determined the self I am today as well as this body of work. At times I have attempted to identify a single identity within my- self, and this has proven even more difficult as an artist. The vagueness of being titled as four disparate selves is the moment when I feel chal- lenged most by my own amalgam of identities. Ultimately, these inquiries enhance my under- standing of each one of the four as a separate entity, and they bring my attention back to my point of origin to investigate who I truly am with- out any of the names that have been given to me. 21
  • 12. At the beginning of this investigation, in the moment of observing all four identities as a composite, I came across a quote of Douglas Hofstadter, an American professor of cognitive science whose research focuses on the sense of ‘I’. In his work Metamagical Themas: Quest- ing for the Essence of Mind and Pattern, he pos- es the questions, I have never allowed or even considered the prospect of one identity gaining dominance over another. I cannot say that I have valued them equally, but I can say that I have never once identified myself as only one of the four. Rather, I have connected to them as though they com- prised one amalgamated identity: the moment of all four identities facing each other as fully separate entities has never occurred. “Which one of the many people who I am, the many inner voices inside of me, will dominate? Who, or how will I be? Which part of me decides?” (782). 23
  • 13. Soon after I decided to be untitled, I was able to discover and explore each one of my selves more deeply by looking at them as individual links each connected to me. I created an identi- ty-chain, much like a family tree, wherein I trace each of my four names separately but link them together as one. A chain, to me, is a series of links that has the power of binding, connecting, and relating things to each other. It activates all the various entities at play into one group by threading its way through all of the available connectible dots. In the process of engaging in this larger inquiry with regard to self, I became aware of a chain-like system among my four names, and so I decided to call it The Identity Chain. Since June 24, 1987, as a person who holds dual citizenship, I have had the privilege of living as more than one identity; I have al- ways had at least two names. Because I have had more than one name, I have also, in es- sence, had different personalities, voices, and attitudes depending upon which of the names I chose to activate in any given moment, often informed by my physical, geographic location. The truth of my identities, then, existed some- where among them, in the spaces between, as I discovered in my efforts to locate myself both consciously and unconsciously. In the end, ob- serving each of the four separately and deeply revealed a hidden beauty. Like dialogue, a real question is a threshold to unconditioned. If we ask consciously; we may become radically available to ourselves, others, and to the unknown. The potential is that we gain access to deeper intelligence, our own and that of others. From there something new can happen, often in the forms of insight, empathy, and inspiration. (5) Sarah Buie, a professor at Clark University, Inviting Dialogue: A Perspective on the Difficult Dialogues Initiative 25
  • 14. I invited this moment of being untitled as an op- portunity to grow, an opportunity for each iden- tity to accentuate different areas of myself as an artist. I am an individual, and I believe in the power of the daily accidents that stem from be- ing involved in open and unscripted dialogue. I mapped my identity-chain in such a moment of unscripted dialogue, and as a result my artis- tic sensibility was drawn to address new areas: the structure of the chain system and the way it orbited and shifted toward the center; the color differences I perceived among the four names; the recurring appearance of my religious be- liefs; and the negotiation and eventual release of my feelings of wanting the names to be con- nected as one. This open-ended, unscripted in- vestigation of the identity-chain thus enhanced, inspired, and influenced my work. 27
  • 15. I am fascinated by how we all have the poten- tial to develop multiple identities and, more im- portantly, to understand our personal world of influences through the recognition of these var- ied identities. By deciphering and defining how these various personas became my present self, I felt certain I could re-identify myself as a true artist of my own creation. In this process, my guiding inquiries were: How do I engage with my own identities? And why? What remains silent and what speaks loudly within each of those identities? Most importantly, What does the practice of dialogue offer to a jewelry artist? 29
  • 17. In the years that I have possessed more than one identity, I have been aware of always seeking and even craving clarity. I have longed for sta- bility and some sense of order in my life as an individual. The more I have tried to find that clarity and the more I have tried to plan and predict, the more complicated and unclear my sense of self has become. Sometimes, however, allowing the world and ourselves to remain unclear reveals beautiful facets that were previously unseen. Beginning with what my visual senses gleaned from the identity-chain, I contemplated how I could give structure to something untitled and/or unknown. Defining a structure for the unknown, for me as an artist, led me to the notion of parts or elements comprising a complex object. An edge is the outside limit of an object, area, or surface: the place or point farthest away from the center. Anything that has undefined or uncertain relationships lacks both the certainty of a center and that of an outside limit, or border, which I call an edge. 33
  • 18. A sphere is a round, solid figure in which every point on the surface is equidistant from the cen- ter and which possesses no edge. As I began to identify myself as unidentified or untitled, my work followed suit by giving form to my four iden- tities as objects having no edges, or as spheres. 35
  • 19. I placed my trust in the process, sensing that deconstructing and reconstructing my identity through these manifest forms would slowly lead to an answer to the question, Given that they are comprised of spheres, the structures of the pieces possess an inherent potential to be transformed through the added definition introduced by edges, reflecting the possibility for greater clarity and definitiveness unearthed through my process. “Do I have a single coherent identity, or am I untitled, and justifiably so?” 36
  • 20. Structure Sterling Sliver 4”x 4”x 5” 2015
  • 22. 43
  • 23. 45
  • 24. Untitled Identity Sterling Sliver, Magnets 2”x 4”x 1” 2015
  • 26. For both the wearer and the viewer, jewelry is a form of non-verbal com- munication. This communication involves the application and adoption of different visual languages within the piece. Color is an important aspect of this vocabulary. Color has the capacity to convey multiple meanings, dependent upon the form or structure of the object as well as how the color itself is applied. According to Josef Albers, an American artist and a printmaker, a color “has many faces, and one color can be made to ap- pear as two different colors.” In Interaction of Colors, Albers also writes: ©1996 - 2015 Benjamin Moore & Co. In my own work, I see colors as a form of support. Depending on how I utilize a particular color or combination of colors, the physical form of the object speaks a new language in harmony or in dissonance with the ap- plied colors. When I first began to investigate my four different identities, both their structures and colors were unclear. What could I say the color of ‘untitled’ is? As such, I sought the color of non-color. In visual perception a color is almost never seen as it really is — as it physically is. This fact makes color the most relative medium in art. In or- der to use color effectively, it is necessary to recognize that color deceives continually. To this end, the beginning is not a study of color systems. (1) 51
  • 27. In the book The Colour of Sex, Lynn Champion and Judy Scott-Kemmis write about the color gray, stating: Gray is both unemotional and detached yet also controlling in that it af- fects all other colors with which it comes into contact, toning down stron- ger and brighter colors and illuminating softer ones. In my work, I have attempted to discover the color of my untitled identity. I set a foundation color, gray, to prevent the misunderstanding of not only the work but also myself. As I journey through the work that I refer to as being gray, I hold to one truth: I am not just observing the color, but I am also honoring the importance of the color as activated within the structure. In this way, the making process is refined as I intentionally incorporate color to activate other visual senses in the reading of the work. With such a firm (but like- wise not so firm) foundation of establishing and applying the color gray as the basis for my work, I am then free to explore the somewhat daunting question of who I am, or, in other words, what color I am. From a color psychology perspective, gray is the color of compromise — being neither black nor white, it is the transition between two non-colors. Being both motionless and emotionless, gray is solid and stable, creating a sense of calm and composure, relief from a chaotic world. The color gray is subdued, quiet and reserved. It does not stimulate, energize, rejuvenate or excite. (9) © JOHN HENSHALL 2005 53
  • 28. Each color holds its own capacity to generate affect and possesses both psychological and emotional meanings. During the process of selecting color, I have realized that in choosing a color, I am simultaneously discovering hidden aspects of my personality or uncovering new emotions. I sense that perhaps my visual sensibility is trying to catch my attention, to show me how I feel or to illustrate a new aspect of my personality. White, for example, is one of the non-color colors and is my favorite color of all. To me, it is the color that is the most complete and pure, the color of perfection. The color white signifies purity, innocence, wholeness, and completion. Further, according to Champion and Scott-Kemmis, “White contains an equal balance of all the colors of the spectrum, repre- senting both the positive and negative aspects of all colors” (81). They further assert, “White tends to become a favorite at a time when you are going through a transitional period in your life, preparing for new beginnings or seeking a new direction in one or more areas of your life” (81). This meaning of the color white is aligned with not only my current sta- tus (being untitled and/or unknown) but also my past status (possessing multiple identities). It reflects my desire to investigate my true self within multiple selves and isolate the color of my identity. 55
  • 30. 59Finding Color 1 Sterling Silver, Heat-sensitive Paper, Enamel, Magnets 3”x 2”x 2” 2015
  • 31. 61
  • 32. 63
  • 33. 65
  • 34. 67
  • 35. I strongly believe, though, that my color mood or color choices will change continually throughout this ongoing process of discovering who and what color I am. 68
  • 37. 73Finding Color 2 Sterling Silver, Enamel 2.5”x 3”x 2” 2015
  • 38. 75
  • 39. “…look at the painting in terms of individual colors. In other words, instead of simply glancing at the work, select a specific color such as yellow or a lime green, and take the time to see how it operates across the painting. Approached this way, something happens, I can’t explain it. But one must enter the painting through the door of a single color. And then, you can understand what my painting is all about.” Gene Davis, discussing his work, Black Grey Beat. 77
  • 41. Everyone has his or her own ways of interpreting and communicating. Artists have an additional means of expressing themselves and communi- cating through their artwork. I frame this act of communicating with others through artistic work as a practice of reflection. Best known for political philosophy and philosophy of social science, Charles Taylor states in his work Multiculturalism, “We become full human agents, capable of understanding ourselves, and hence of defining our identity, through our acquisition of rich human lan- guages of expression” (32). My “acquisition of rich human languages of expression” as a jewelry artist is undertaken in order to create a self-reflecting system that generates a space not only for the investigation of the work, but also for the existence of multiple identities within that work. This opportunity for my identities to interact with each other—to interact, communicate, and dialogue amongst themselves and with the world at large—will lead to the moment in which new understandings, and perhaps even new identities, arise. 81
  • 42. We encounter such an enormous amount of dia- logue in our daily lives, and to focus on investi- gating the true self amidst this river of dialogue poses a challenge. Not only am I subject to this external dialogue, but I also experience multi- ple internal dialogues, which sometimes distract me from taking time to observe and perceive my one self or selves. Even though I have assumed different names at different moments, all four have coexisted inside of me and have collec- tively formed one identity. How do my various names and my various identities interact with one another? Why have I not had a chance to observe the moment where Hyungyo and Esme, or even Monica and Dahee, have come together as one self? I wanted to position all four iden- tities at the center, in a place where I could re- flect on all four, a place where they could reside while hearing each other. “It is where the art is engaged in a dialogue with and within itself.” Ivan Chuikov, Analytical Tree (1994) Reflection Sterling Silver, Mirrors 2”x 2”x 2” 2015 82
  • 43. In his work Dialogue and the Art of Thinking To- gether, William Isaacs, founder and president of Dialogos, a leadership consulting and strategy development firm, defines the act of dialogue by stating, “Dialogue … is a conversation with a center, not sides. It is a way of taking the energy of our dif- ferences and channeling it towards something that has never been created before” (19). 85
  • 44. I have begun to understand that the act of dia- logue among my identities requires conditions of trust based on each respecting the other, recognizing that each possesses its own unique reflections and that all serve the greater desire to explore the unknown among them in order to expand my understanding of self as both whole and parts. Engaging this dialogue within the arena of my work and investigations as a jewel- ry artist, I have found alternate ways to commu- nicate with my selves and to incorporate them into one self. From the jewelry artist’s perspec- tive, the reflections become one as a composite of multiple identities and perspectives just as a single jewelry object is a composite of the multi- plicity of the maker. 86
  • 46. I can clearly remember my first visit to a Bud- dhist temple. I don’t recall the face of any of the monks or the particular place, but I do vividly recall an insight a monk shared with me, which he experienced personally after discovering a way to meditate not as a singular person but as a person who embodies all the things with which he is in dialogue: “Your knowledge will speak, but your wisdom will listen to you and also to others.” 지식은 나를 말하려 할테지만, 지혜를 너를 들으려 할것이란다. 91
  • 47. I was born into a family that adheres strictly to Buddhist practices, so I have been bound by specific rules that govern everyday life as well as my interaction with others. I clearly remember my internal struggle as a little girl when my parents called me “a daughter of Buddha.” I responded, “Why can’t I just be a little girl, the daughter of my parents? A little girl who loves to smile but also cries at times, who behaves but also whines for her wants, and who is simultaneously altruistic and egocentric, just like all the little girls around me?” I realize now that this struggle has made me an individual who knows what it means to smile in spite of not obtaining everything I want, and I understand how altruism inspires the appreciation of others around me. In addition to being Buddhists, my family has firm roots in business. As a child of doctors who own and manage a hospital, I was encouraged to major in a field that would contribute to the family business: manage- ment. As a young girl who loved to draw, create, sing, and dance, this was not my preferred area of study. Disregarding my own dreams and interests, I studied management to please my parents. As an undergrad- uate, I remember dearly wishing for a single day when I could spend time learning to draw, paint, or fabricate. I wanted to be a maker. After graduation, for the first time in 20 years, I made the decision to pursue my own dreams. This is when I began to study jewelry manufacturing, 2D and 3D rendering, and gemology. Consequently, my parents stopped communicating with me, and I was left to accomplish my dreams on my own. After twelve months of struggle and facing the reality of my dreams yet surviving through my Buddhist beliefs and meditation, I became an even more passionate and motivated individual, and I am now a jewelry artist, designer, and metalsmith. Without these strong selves that live within me—the little girl who strug- gled against the rules associated with being a practicing Buddhist and the one who was left alone to fulfill her dreams—I would not be who I am today. I have realized that my multiple identities ultimately support my larger identity. 93Belief 18K Yellow Gold, Sterling Sliver, Dan-joo (Buddhist Bracelet) 2”x 7”x 2 2015
  • 48. In Multiculturalism: Examining the Politics of Recognition, Taylor mentions how important it is for us to recognize that we start to realize our identities through our struggles and through the guidance of those who remain strong influenc- es. He states: We define our identity always in dialogue with, sometimes in struggle against, the things our significant others want to see in us. Even after we outgrow some of these others—our parents, for instance—and they disappear from our lives, the conversation with them continues within us as long as we live. (33) 95
  • 49. I was always in dialogue with the self when I was little girl, wanting to be free from religious rules, but I finally identified myself as a Buddhist and as an individual endeavoring to be an optimist. I was also in communication with the struggling self to fulfill my own dreams of becoming a jew- elry artist, among other things. Those small but strong selves inhabiting my identity, in dialogue with the multiple selves that I am, have come to define who I am today. 97
  • 50. In Buddhism, A Way of Life and Thought, Ameri- can novelist Nancy Wilson Ross states: Zen holds that the so-called rational mind is in- capable of solving an individual’s deepest prob- lem: [one’s] meaning to [oneself] and to life… Final awareness, lasting freedom, and true psychological equilibrium come only when the deepest intuitional faculties of the human being have been tapped. (144) I have always known that my religion isn’t the only thing that defines who I am, but I have un- derstood and recognized it as a tool for unravel- ing fixed notions of who I am and how I experi- ence the amalgam of my multiple identities. 98
  • 51. Hence, physically and emotionally, my religion is a matrix connecting all my identities into one larger self. This matrix is a bridge I have been building within myself throughout my life as I have sought to discover and investigate how my multiple inner selves together form one larger self. My desire to understand my own selves and thus fully comprehend what has been trans- piring during the process of identity formation is now redirected towards framing self-identity by my beliefs and my life in keeping with the foot- steps of my Buddhist forebears. 100
  • 53. I asked myself, “What happens when we en- counter experiences that do not fit within any kind of structure?” I accepted, at that moment of uncertainty, that I was having an experience of ambiguity. Sometimes this is unpleasant, but in other instances facing such moments of am- biguity can be stimulating. My studies of struc- ture in relationship to identity have shown that ambiguity plays an important role in excavating meaning; I can build models and categories to explain my identity, but experience itself is al- ways bigger than any concept. 104
  • 54. Mary Douglas, a British anthropologist known for her writing on human culture and symbolism, states in her work Purity and Danger, “There are several ways of treating anomalies. Negatively, we can ignore, just not perceive them, or perceiving we can condemn. Positively we can deliberately confront the anomaly and try to create a new pattern of reality in which it has a place” (38) 107
  • 55. 109
  • 56. As I moved forward with my investigation, I caught myself trying to create a new pattern for my multiple selves in which they occupy not just a place of reflection but also one of recog- nition. As mentioned in previous chapter Struc- ture, an edge, to me, is what defines an object or person. The more understanding I gain of my individualized identities, even while still experi- encing moments of ambiguity, the more I realize that I am creating or combining more edges in the form. In other words, I am introducing facets as a means of generating a new pattern for rec- ognition of a single, composite self. 110
  • 57. 113Facets 1 Sterling Silver, 24K Yellow Gold Plated 2”x 2”x 1.5” 2015
  • 59. Ambiguity and changes can be uncomfortable for me since they can be linked with insecuri- ty and reveal both my own instability and the weakness of the concept. This feeling of inse- curity was not so easy for me to endure since I generally prefer security and stability. For this reason, clear lines, edges, and concepts in the form of facets became central to my investiga- tion. 117
  • 60. 119
  • 61. 120 Facets 2 Sterling Silver, 14K Yellow Gold Plated 2”x 2”x 1.5”, 1”x 2.5”x 1.5” 2015
  • 63. Mary Douglas also states, “The final paradox of the search for purity is that it is an attempt to force experience into logical categories of non-contradiction. But experience is not amenable and those who make the attempt find themselves led into contradiction” (162) As the thesis work progressed through finding and identifying myself as an amalgam of mul- tiples, my attempt to accept all four entities as one led me, and likewise my work, to have meaningful and clear lines in the form of facets to delineate the discovered contradictions. 124 Facets 3 Sterling Silver 2.7”x 2.7”x 1.5” 2015
  • 65. [Artifacts suggest] that the imagination is bound up with compassion; that the imagination has an inherent tendency towards largesse and excess; that the work of the imagination is not here and there, now on, now off, but massive, continuous, and ongoing; that the imagination forfeits its own immunity and is self-revising; and that, finally, the imag- ination is self-effacing, and often completes its work by disguising its own activity. (325) In the book The Body In Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World, professor Elaine Scarry states: 128 Remain Untitled 1 Copper, Powder Coasted 7”x 8”x 0.1” 2015
  • 66. During the process of creating my thesis body of work, I have often asked myself, “Do I, or can I remember who I was before my names told me who I should be?” Ultimately, though, I realized it was not those names that decided who I should be. It was me who decided that certain facts, colors, and beliefs belonged to a specific name and posi- tioned them together under a specific identity. As I furthered the investigation, the entitlement of choosing how I categorize myself as a com- posite titled self became clear. I came to realize that while I had four given names to choose to title myself with, my true self had never had a title; I was untitled, as a way of inhabiting my titled selves, throughout all the years that I had thought I was titled as something or someone. 130
  • 67. As much as I was seeking to find a single true identity, I learned through my thesis body of work that it was not about being one-self but rather accepting the fact that I am a composite of multiple selves, and this realization is what has truly enlightened my understanding as an artist. 133
  • 68. I sought to achieve distillation of an identity through my work. In the end, though, I have achieved a new perception of identity itself. I am a jewelry artist who is untitled with a given name, or even multiple names. Untitled-ness never ends but instead hovers and orbits around my sense of self as both person and artist. 134 Remain Untitled 2 Sterling Silver 3.5”x 2”x 2” 2015
  • 69. 137
  • 70.
  • 72. “yes, i do smoke” 143
  • 74. “what would i do without you?” 147
  • 75. “it’s the flu-time of the year” 149
  • 77. Acknowledgments I, Esme Choi, acknowledge those who have participated in this study. Special thanks to… Tracy Steepy | Lauren Fensterstock | Lori Talcott Noam Elyashiv | Anne West | Kelli Adams Michael Glancy | Azur Mele McHugh | Zesse McHugh Yoon Kyung Lee | Joung G. Choi | Mugyeol Choi Wei Lah Poh | Eiman Rezaei | Jisoo Lee DongYun Choi | Greg Moon | Jino Kim & My Four... Esme Choi | Monica Choi | Hyungyo Choi | Dahee Choi 152
  • 79. Albers, Josef. Interaction Of Color. n.p.: New Haven, Connecticut : Yale University Press, 2013. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 24 Apr. 2015. Bataille, Georges. Into Me/Out of Me. Ed. Klaus Biesenbach. Ostfildern: Hatje Cantz, 2007. Web. 13 Sept. 2014. Buie, Sarah. Inviting Dialogue: Renewing the Deep Purposes of Higher Education. Worcester, MA: Clark University Press, 2010. Print. Champion, Lynn, and Judy Scott-Kemmis. The Colour of Sex: An Intimate Look at Relationships, Romance and Colour. Sydney: Simon & Schuster Australia, 1999. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 28 Mar. 2015. Douglas, Mary. Purity And Danger : An Analysis of Concept of Pollution and Taboo / Mary Douglas ; With A New Preface by The Author. n.p.: London ; New York : Routledge, 2002. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 24 Apr. 2015. Grothe, Mardy. I Never Saw a Metaphor I Didn’t Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of History’s Greatest Metaphors, Analogies, and Similes. New York: Collins, 2008. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 27 Jan. 2015. Gurciullo, Sebastian. “Making Modern Identity: Charles Taylor’s Retrieval of Moral Sources.” Critical Horizons 2.1 (2001): 93-125. Academic Search Premier. Web. 13 Feb. 2015. Hofstadter, Douglas R. Metamagical Themas: Questing for the Essence of Mind and Pattern. New York: Basic Books, 1985. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 13 Feb. 2015. Hudek, Antony. The Object. London: Whitechapel Gallery, 2014. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 3 Sept. 2014. Hyde, Lewis. The Gift: Imagination and the Erotic Life of Property. New York: Vintage Books, 1983. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 27 Jan. 2015. Isaacs, William. Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together: A Pioneering Approach to Communicating in Business and in Life. New York: Currency, 1999. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 14 Feb. 2015. Kolak, Daniel. I Am You: The Metaphysical Foundations of Global Ethics. Norwell, MA: Springer, 2004. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 30 Jan. 2015. Larsen, Lars Bang. Networks. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2014. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 27 Jan. 2015. Levin, Leonard. Seeing With Both Eyes: Ephraim Luntshitz and the Polish-Jewish Renaissance. Leiden: Brill, 2008. eBook Academic Collection (EBSCOhost). Web. 13 Sept. 2014. Panofsky, Erwin. Perspective As Symbolic Form. New York: Zone Books, 1991. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 13 Sept. 2014. Ross, Nancy Wilson. Buddhism, A Way of Life and Thought / Nancy Wilson Ross. n.p.: New York : Knopf : distributed by Random House, 1980. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 24 Apr. 2015. Scarry, Elaine. The Body In Pain : The Making and Unmaking of The World. n.p.: New York : Oxford University Press, 1985. Fleet Library at RISD/Providence Athenaeum Catalog. Web. 24 Apr. 2015. Suh, Do-Ho, and Hye-su U. Do Ho Suh: Home Within Home. Sŏul T’ŭkpyŏlsi: Samsŏng Misulgwan Leeum, 2012. Harvard Library Bibliographic Dataset. Web. 27 Jan. 2015. Symbolon: The Catholic Faith Explained. Augustine Institute, 2010. Web. 30 Jan. 2015. Taylor, Charles, ed. Multiculturalism: Examining the Politics of Recognition. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1994. ERIC. Web. 13 Feb. 2015. 157
  • 80.
  • 82. Remain untitled 2 sterling silver 3.5”x 2”x 2” 2015 Remain untitled 1 copper, powder coasted 7”x 8”x 0.1” 2015 Facets 2 sterling silver, 14K yellow gold plated 2”x 2”x 1.5”, 1”x 2.5”x 1.5” 2015 Facets 1 sterling silver, 24K yellow gold plated 2”x 2”x 1.5” 2015 Belief 18K yellow gold, sterling sliver, dan-joo (Buddhist bracelet) 2”x 7”x 2 2015 Finding color 2 sterling silver, enamel 2.5”x 3”x 2” 2015 Structure sterling sliver 4”x 4”x 5” 2015 Untitled identity sterling sliver, magnets 2”x 4”x 1” 2015 Reflection sterling silver, mirrors 2”x 2”x 2” 2015 Finding color 1 sterling silver, heat-sensitive paper, enamel, magnets 3”x 2”x 2” 2015 Facets 3 sterling silver 2.7”x 2.7”x 1.5” 2015