2 page sample software roadmap for bored product managers and marketers

1. Feature Creep Make the right thing and make the thing right!
Product Roadmap
2012 - 2015
Product Vision
AGILITY
VISION STATEMENT
• Can leap tall buildings in a single bound
• Deploys faster than you can erect a deckchair • To become the leading global provider of <YOUR
• Can perform any function simply by re-arranging the PRODUCT CATEGORY HERE>
ones and zeros
• To achieve greater synergies between <TECHNOLOGY
SCALABILITY AND REDUNDANCY NAME 1> and <TECHNOLOGY NAME 2> leading to
increasing efficiency at lower cost
• Smaller than an ant’s nuts or as big as a whale’s willy –
you decide • To leverage <UPCOMING TECHNOLOGY TREND>
• Geographic and logical failover – we’ve made it brittle so combined with our expertise in <WHATEVER IT IS
we can sell you more of them
YOU’VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST DECADE> to
• Runs on any operating system*
deliver greater value to our
COLLABORATION <CUSTOMERS/INVESTORS/EMPLOYEES/CASUAL
ACQUAINTANCES/PAROLE OFFICERS>
• Facilitate collaboration across teams and locations
• Uses fewer muscles than frowning
• Individually you can do nothing, but together you can
agree that nothing can be done
HEALTHY
ABOUT FEATURE CREEP TECHNOLOGY
• Naturally low in rat droppings
• Can radically increase weight-loss when used as part of a
food-free diet Here is Edward Bear coming
downstairs now, bump, bump, bump
• Enriched with poly-gamma-hydro-liposomes, B52 and on the back of his head, behind
soluble roughage Christopher Robin.
It is, as far as he knows, the only way
SOFT TOILET PAPER of coming downstairs, but
sometimes he feels there really is
• Kind to the bottom another way, if he could just stop
• No more bunged up toilets bumping for a moment and think of
it.
• Manufactured from sustainable forests by nice people
www.feature-creep.com
* So long as it’s Windows XP, Service Pack 3

2. Feature Creep
Version 2.5
Matter Version 4.1
Transportation Version 3.1
Version 2.6 Fault Tolerance
World Peace
Microsoft
Integration
Version 4.0
Version 3.0 Eternal Life
Environmentally
Friendly Version 3.2
Time Travel
Q1 20012 Q2 2012 Q3 2012 Q4 2012 Q1 2013 Q2 2013 Q3 2013 Q4 2013 Q1 2014 Q2 2014 Q3 2014 Q4 2014
Sept 2012 – Ver 2.5 Sept 2013 – Ver 3.1
Matter Transportation World Peace
• Send objects as far as you can carry them • Brings people together
• Pulps fruit, and anything else you transport • Agnostic
• Powered by room temperature fusion • NATO certified
• Doesn’t necessarily kill you • Supports Hebrew, Arabic, Gaelic and Scots Irish
• Choice of beige
Jan 2013 – Ver 2.6 Jan 2014 – Ver 3.2
Microsoft Integration Time Travel
• Comes with a “Microsoft integration” sticker • Travel forward in time to when this product is
really going to be available
• Installs on Windows XP (but doesn’t run)
• Travel backwards in time to get the
• Runs on Windows Vista (but doesn’t install)
requirements right
• Buggers up the registry good and proper
• Has the word “SharePoint” in the manual
Jul 2014 – Ver 4.0
• I met Steve Ballmer in a hotel lift once
Eternal Life
• User response times will make you feel that time
has stopped
Mar 2013 – Ver 3.0
• You’ll pray for death
Environmentally Friendly
• Reduced greenhouse gas emission Jan 2014 – Ver 4.1
• Lower gamma radiation levels Fault Tolerance
• Hardly any asbestos at all
• We don’t care if it crashes
• Reduced increase in power consumption
• Comes with lucky sprig of heather
• Edible packaging
• Automatically recovers from errors by
spontaneously rebooting at random intervals
Roadmap commitments are firm for the next release; the schedules and contents for subsequent releases
are subject to change.
© Feature Creep 2012