And how to start connecting with people

2. Image by Víctor Mendoza from Pixabay
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Stop Being Too Careful With People

3. And how to start connecting with people
Lorenz Duremdes, Polymath
Feb 16 · 3 min read
“Failure is an option here. If things are not failing,
you are not innovating enough.” — Elon Musk
ne mistake I kept making in my early years (before the age of 16), is
that I tried to be way too kind and careful with people.
I didn’t make many jokes, tried to avoid conflicts, and so on.
Now, I know better. Sometimes, it’s good to address something and if a
conflict occurs because of that, it may be so.
I have learned that I have more than enough knowledge and skills to handle
conflicts effectively and respectfully, before, during, and afterward. And
more often than not, if conflicts are resolved effectively, growth can occur
between me and the other.
Conflicts, then, are no longer problems but opportunities:
O

4. Everything Is an Opportunity: Turning Problems Into
Opportunities
There’s no such thing as what we call “luck”
medium.com
It also made me a lot more confident. I don’t have to be careful and avoid
conflicts for me to feel good and happy. In fact, excessively trying to avoid
conflicts made me much more unhappy than I am right now.
As you get to make “mistakes” with other people, you slowly start to become
aware of their boundaries and everything within those boundaries. And
also the other way around, they get to know your boundaries and
everything within.
This, in turn, allows you to connect much more deeply with these people.
I am also a firm believer of the following quote:
“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”
All things I used to be afraid of sharing with others, because it could make
things go awkward, actually wasn’t that awkward after all. Why? Because I

5. said things in a respectful, open, and vulnerable manner.
This, in turn, makes the other appear respectful, open, and vulnerable too
(social mirroring).
Lastly, I think it’s very important not to mess around cause-and-effect:
“Our lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty.
The difficulty comes from our lack of confidence.”
— Seneca the Younger
The more mistakes I made and the more conflicts I resolved, the more
confidence I gained and the easier things felt.
. . .
If you liked this article, you may also like this one:
Presumptive Statements: A Better Way of “Asking Questions”
How to get information without raising the emotional guard of the other
medium.com

6. . . .
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