1. Self-Esteem:
How to Get It, and Hold Onto It for Good
By: Cheryl Walker
The way we perceive ourselves affects every aspect of our lives. From the careers we
choose, to the people we end up with, and even to the food we eat—most of our decisions
stem at least partially from our levels of self-esteem. Unfortunately, studies show that
many more girls than boys have low self-esteem, and that more than 70% of high school
girls avoid normal daily activities (including going to school) when their self-esteem is
low. Worst of all, of those girls with low levels of self worth, 75% reported to engaging
in harmful activities like self-injury, smoking, drinking, or adopting an eating disorder.
So what is this all-powerful self-esteem, really? Essentially, self-esteem is made up of all
of the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself. It’s the way you see the person in
the mirror, and the way you talk to her about the way she looks, performs, and lives her
life. According to research, that girl in the mirror is often in great need of tender love and
care. Use these tips to help you see yourself the way you deserve.
Accept Compliments
When you have low self-esteem it can be hard to believe that the people who compliment
you are being honest. Even if you still don’t believe them at first, try simply changing
your pattern of disagreeing with compliments to graciously accepting them. Eventually
this new healthy pattern will help you to realize that you get complimented because you
deserve it.

2. Stop Negative Self-Talk
The way you “talk” to yourself when you’re alone plays a huge role in your level of self-
esteem. Try to recognize and break any negative thought patterns you might have in your
daily routine. For example, you may say negative things to yourself when you walk in
front of the mirror, or when you sit next to smart peers in class. Because your inner voice
is always with you, those patterns add up, and you want make sure that the majority of
what it says to you is positive rather than negative.
Avoid Unrealistic Images
By now most people know that the women we see in magazines, online, and on TV are
not realistic representations of beauty. Not only do these women have excess amounts of
money to funnel into their appearance, their images are extremely altered even after that
before they finally reach you. Each time you see a photo that makes you feel insecure,
stop to think: Is that image realistic? More often than not, the answer is “no,” which gives
you and your self-esteem permission to disregard it and move on.
Choose the Right Friends
People who put you down and make you feel badly about yourself are not good friends.
So make sure that you limit, or even eliminate, the people in your life who constantly tell
you what’s “wrong” with you rather than what’s “right.” If those people are family
members and your ability to get away from them is limited, remember to take their words
with a grain of salt: Humans are cruel to each other when they are hurting, so what they
say is not a reflection of you, but of their own insecurities.
Limit Negative Social Media
The social media age makes it easier and easier to compare your looks and
accomplishments to others. Limit your time on social media in lieu of being with friends
in person, and make sure to remember that everybody is trying to make themselves look
as impressive as possible online, and that result is what you see. Your successes likely
look just as daunting to others as theirs to you. We are all different, with different
strengths and weaknesses, and paying too much attention to someone else’s will not help
you become the person you want to be.
Embrace What Makes you Unique
Especially when we are young, the things that make us unique are often our biggest
insecurities. Our freckles, for example, or the size of our noses and the quirky ways we
speak can bring us down when we compare them to others. To help your self-esteem, try
to pinpoint what it is about you that sets you apart and see it for it’s positive qualities
rather than negative. Not only is standing out an asset, it’s essential for success.