Peer relationships and dating[1]


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Peer relationships and dating[1]

  1. 1. Peer Relationships and Dating<br />
  2. 2. Bell Ringer<br />List all of the qualities you can think of that you would want in a friend. (5 min)<br />Go around and have everyone name one <br />List them on the board<br />Talk about “in order to have this kind of a friend, you have to BE a friend like this”. (10) min<br />
  3. 3. Friendship<br /><ul><li>Common attribute s of friendships:
  4. 4. Similar values, interests, beliefs, and attitudes
  5. 5. Open and honest communication
  6. 6. Sharing of joys, disappointments, dreams, and concerns
  7. 7. Mutual respect, caring, and support
  8. 8. Concern about each other’s safety and well-being</li></ul>“Researchers have found that people generally form close relationships with individuals who share similar goals, values, or interests. Other studies suggest that people get along better with individuals whose personalities compliment their own.”<br />
  9. 9. Different Types of Friendships<br />Casual Friendships<br />Share interests but not deep emotional bonds<br />Close Friendships<br />Strong emotional ties. Feel comfortable sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences.<br />Platonic Friendships<br />A friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple.<br />One-Sided Friendships<br />is a friendship in which one person does most of the giving and the other person does most of the receiving.<br />
  10. 10. Building Strong Friendships<br />Good Friends:<br />Reinforce your values<br />Motivate you<br />Show empathy<br />Treat you with fairness<br />Share your interests<br />Accept you for who you are<br />Support you<br />Loyalty<br />
  11. 11. “A true friend is someone who is willing to take you the way you are, but leaves you better than they found you.”<br />
  12. 12.
  13. 13. Cliques<br /><ul><li>A clique is a small circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders.
  14. 14. Mean Girls Clip (5 min)
  15. 15. Do you think YOU are a member of a clique?
  16. 16. How can cliques be harmful?</li></li></ul><li>3 Purposes of Dating<br />
  17. 17. Dating Activity<br />20 minutes<br />Split up the boys and the girls<br />Give them each a paper with two columns<br />Dating “Do”’s and Dating “Don’t”’s <br />10 minutes to come up with lists<br />10 minutes to share<br />
  18. 18. Fun Dating Ideas<br /><ul><li>Bonfires
  19. 19. Bike-riding
  20. 20. Hike the Y
  21. 21. American Fork Canyon Hikes
  22. 22. Have a picnic
  23. 23. Mini golfing
  24. 24. Make dinner
  25. 25. Progressive Dinner
  26. 26. Dollar Movie
  27. 27. Weird utensil dinner
  28. 28. Scavenger hunts
  29. 29. Temple Square
  30. 30. Museum
  31. 31. Tour Christmas Lights around the city
  32. 32. Carve Pumpkins
  33. 33. Make and decorate sugar cookies
  34. 34. Outdoor Movie
  35. 35. Murder Mystery Dinner</li></ul>Bookstore<br />Ice-blocking<br />Board Games<br />School plays/University Plays<br />Hide and go seek in Wal-Mart<br />Batting Cages<br />Color me Mine<br />Service Projects<br />Make a treat and doorbell ditch them<br />Finger-painting<br />Frisbee Golf<br />Play at a playground<br />Laser light show in Salf Lake<br />Dollar Store Date<br />Bowling<br />Fondue Party<br />Build a snowman<br />Water –balloon fight<br />Side-walk chalk<br />
  36. 36. Personal Dating Stories<br />5-10 minutes<br />Mrs. Day’s First Date<br />Ms. Stephan’s First Prom<br />Mrs. Day’s Homecoming <br />
  37. 37. Fun Things We’ve Done<br />Horseback riding<br />Alpine Slide at Park City<br />Laser Tag<br />Starburst Bowling<br />Make ugly Christmas sweaters<br />D.I. Date<br />Thanksgiving Point<br />Tumbling Gym<br />
  38. 38. 5 Love Languages<br />Words of Affirmation<br /><ul><li>Giving compliments and encouragement </li></ul>Quality Time<br /><ul><li>Not only being with them but giving them all of your attention</li></ul>Receiving Gifts<br /><ul><li>Gifts can be visual symbols of love</li></ul>Acts of Service<br /><ul><li>Giving simple acts of service like giving them your coat or opening the car door</li></ul>Physical Touch <br />
  39. 39. Love, Lust, and Infatuation<br /><ul><li>Lust: physical attraction which is interpreted as love.
  40. 40. Infatuation: temporary strong feelings of passion and/or admiration.
  41. 41. So what is love???
  42. 42. “When you love someone, his or her happiness becomes as important, or even more important than your own.”</li></li></ul><li>Love, Lust, and Infatuation<br />“Perhaps it is no coincidence that the American divorce peak corresponds perfectly with the normal duration of infatuation –2-3 years.”<br />- Helen Fisher, PhD <br />
  43. 43. Setting Limits in Dating<br />Why is it important to set limits?<br /><ul><li>Avoid late hours
  44. 44. Avoid bedrooms and closed doors
  45. 45. Avoid being alone at home
  46. 46. Don’t “park”
  47. 47. Avoid sexually explicit material
  48. 48. Don’t use drugs or alcohol
  49. 49. Remember thoughts proceed actions
  50. 50. Show true caring and respect for each other</li></li></ul><li>The Benefits of Abstinence<br />More self respect and more respect for each other<br />Security that you are not being pursued for sexual reasons<br />Greater chance of faithfulness in marriage & trust in your partner’s ability to control him/herself with other people<br />Chance to develop more in-depth relationships<br />Freedom from pregnancy, consequences of making abortion/adoption decisions, and raising a child while you are still a child yourself.<br />Freedom from sexually transmitted diseases.<br />Freedom from emotional injury, uncertainty of your partner’s motive/commitment, feeling sexually used, and scars from past memories.<br />The consequences of your decisions impact the rest of your life. It allows or restricts future choices and freedoms.<br />
  51. 51. *Why Wait to Date?<br /><ul><li>Ageof First date % of People who had Pre-marital Sexual Relations</li></ul> 12 91%<br /> 13 56%<br /> 14 53%<br /> 15 40%<br /> 16 20%<br />
  52. 52. Qualities of an Unhealthy Relationship<br />Controlling<br />Manipulation<br />Verbal insults<br />Mean language<br />Put downs<br />Physical violence<br />Isolation from family and friends<br /> -If you find yourself justifying them<br />Intimidation or threats<br />
  53. 53. Dating Violence<br /><ul><li>1 in 11 teens report being a victim of physical dating abuse each year
  54. 54. 1 in 4 teens report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse each year
  55. 55. 1 in 5 teens report being a victim of emotional abuse
  56. 56. 1 in 3 teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or otherwise physically hurt by his or her partner
  57. 57. Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their dating relationships continue to date their abuser
  58. 58. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up
  59. 59. Almost 70% of young women who have been raped knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or causal acquaintance
  60. 60. Teen dating abuse most often takes place in the home of one of the partners</li></li></ul><li>I have the right to:<br />Be treated with respect always<br />My own body, thoughts, opinions, and property<br />Choose and keep my friends<br />Change my mind-at any time<br />Not be abused-physically, emotionally, or sexually<br />Leave a relationship<br />Say “NO”<br />Be treated as an equal<br />Disagree<br />Live without fear and confusion from my boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s anger<br />
  61. 61. Video Clip <br />Rhiana and Dating Violence (5-10 min)<br />
  62. 62. Getting Help<br />Tell your parents, friends, and trusted adults about whets going on<br />Have fun with good friends<br />Its okay to be sad<br />National Domestic Violence Hotline <br />800-799-SAFE<br />