1. 06 Tuesday May 19, 2015
MXBE01Z01MA - V1
TheDailyJuicePICKMEUP
with
CHARLEYRICO
ricoc@mxnet.com.au
Dear Diary,
I’m trying to take the high ground here, I’m
TRYING to be the bigger person but I can’t seem
to escape her.
Even my own fans are talking about her on
MY Instagram page. It’s MY page, Diary. MINE.
Whhhhhhy is she everywhere?
I came to Thailand to get away from her beautiful, perfect face –what am I even saying, she’s vile, but so pretty. Damn it!
But what’s with her shoving her vom-worthy jerky jerk new
boyfriend in everyone’s face last night?
That guy stinks, he’s so unprofessional!
I can play records and hit the space bar on a Mac, TOO, Calvin. It’sbad enough she was the belle of that stupid awards show yesterday– she won eight gongs, Diary. EIGHT. I didn’t even win one.
I thought that dancing shark was my ticket out of her shadow butnothing is working.
And that video clip. Don’t even get me started on that video clip.She’s not fooling anyone pretending it’s not about me – everythingis about me, isn’t it, Diary?
But those awards last night were not about me and this makes mewant to ROAR! (wasn’t that a great song, Diary? I’ve had some greatsongs, right?)
I guess my friendship with all 37 of those women who were inthat awesome terrible video clip is now OVER.
In protest I vow to no longer watch that super popular showthat’s quirky and fun - like me! (this is so hard, Diary, I really lovethat show. Damn you for taking Lena from me — I’m not talking toyou, Diary, I’m talking to the smart business woman with the stupidwrinkle free brow who’s younger and more popular than me. I loveyou, Diary, you’re such a good listener).
At least Rita Ora is still my friend...
xoxo
KatyLooks like scorpion, tasteslike Swift! Ha, ha, ha
OOH look at me! I’m having
FUN in Thailand!
Picture:GETTYIMAGES
Game of Thrones on
Showcase, last night and
repeated tonight at
9.35pm
So something happens in this
episode that I’m not even
going to mention because you
should just watch it. Or
maybe don’t watch it if you’re
not a fan of gratuitous
violence but essentially isn’t
that, along with loads of
gratuitous nudity, the whole
premise of GoT? At any rate,
I’m not saying any more on
the subject. Just know
something happens that's
angered a lot of people and
has the interwebs in a real
frenzy over the whole
incident which I’m not going
to tell you because it’s pretty
bad. Like on a scale of one to
fire-breathing dragon, it’s the
latter but with giant horns.
However, it’s not the first
time GoT has done this, it’s
happened twice before but
that’s all I’m saying. Lips
sealed. But other things
happen too: someone rides a
horse and there’s a lot of
animal skin blankets in the
background, plus pointy-toed
shoes but no panning boob
shots (sad face emoji).
Also, there’s some kissing and
punching and we finally find
out what’s happened to —
nope, that doesn’t happen.
What does happen is … well,
you’ll just have to watch it to
find out, won’t you.
REWIND
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