North & Wells

2. “CHICAGO IS
PRETENTIOUS”
No, we’re crazy

3. The attitude of Chicagoans is the
ketchup on the plate

4. SOME RURAL AMERICANS ARE LOOKING AT ME
CRAZIER THAN MY DISTANT POLISH RELATIVES DO
A few of my relatives were
curious why I don’t want
to go HERE all the time
Some of my former
coworkers couldn’t believe
I had never eaten HERE
In actuality I prefer to go
HERE some of the time

5. THE “COOL KIDS” FROM OUT OF TOWN THINK WE’RE
ALL ASSHOLES, BUT THEY’RE STREAMING JEREMIH
LIKE A MOFO

6. MY BALL PLAYER BUDDY TOLD ME TO FIND A NICE
SUBURBAN GIRL, DON’T MESS WITH NO CITY WIFE