1. Leader in the field of Domestic Violence
Perpetrators of domestic violence and
abuse are often unwilling to admit or
recognise that they and they alone are
responsible for their actions.
Instead they make excuses for their
behaviour blaming it on the set of
circumstances or run up to the argument,
or by blaming their partner.
Reflecting or exploring their own behaviour would mean they
would have to look inwards and take responsibility, and this would
mean that they would have to examine and deal with their own
vulnerabilities and emotions and work through them as opposed to
blaming others.
For some perpetrators they are more comfortable laying the blame
elsewhere.
The only way a perpetrator can change their behaviour is to take
responsibility for their own actions, to start to own it, and to want
to change their conduct because it not only impacts on
themselves, but on their partner, children and other loved ones.
www.TinaRoyles.com
01244 760 113
If You Or Someone You Know Is Experiencing Domestic Violence Call :
Minimising the Impact of
Domestic Violence

2. Victims of domestic violence and abuse learn to minimise the
actions of the perpetrator, and to deal with these traumatic
outbursts and experiences. They learn to play down the incidents
and begin to pacify the perpetrator in order to calm them down, in
an attempt to stop the incident, or the after effects of the incident.
Some perpetrators will dismiss the level of impact that their
actions has on their partner or ex partner, or try to dismiss the
incident as an act of playfulness or an argument that got a little
out of hand, or a situation that has been misunderstood.
Again not willing to accept the reality of the situation, the damage
caused and the impact it has.
Most perpetrators will not even entertain the idea that their
behaviour and actions will have an emotional and psychological
effect, unwilling to entertain any idea that their partner or ex
partner could be hurt in this way, dismissing the emotional and
psychological affect that a slap, a bite, a pinch, or squeezing parts
of their partners body including the neck.
To the perpetrator there are no marks, therefore no lasting
damage!
*We live in a society where aggression and violence is all around
us, we switch on the news and there is trauma and atrocities, at
the cinema there is a never ending flow of violent and disturbing
films, with dvd’s again there is an endless supply of such movies,
so we as a society often establish in our own minds what levels of
aggression or violence we believe is tolerable or acceptable;
whether it is or not is another matter.
www.TinaRoyles.com
If You Or Someone You Know Is Experiencing Domestic Violence Call 01244 760 113
Minimising the Impact of Domestic Violence
Leader in the field of Domestic Violence

3. For example on a football pitch a footballer might kick, spit or bite
an opponent. Some commentators, managers, members of the
media and of society might say that the behaviour wasn’t that bad,
and almost suggest in the context, that a big deal shouldn’t be
made of it, therefore people look to regulate or justify certain
behaviour in certain circumstances or the context.
What this does in a negative way is give room for tolerance,
discretion, and minimising the impact and effect for those
involved, but for those who are on the receiving end of any form of
abuse, violence or aggression it is a traumatic experience.
If you are spat at within a relationship, that is disgusting and
unacceptable behaviour, but how many victims are likely to come
forward if society accepts ‘spitting’ in other contexts.
If society thinks that a ‘bite’ is nothing or harmless, what message
would that send to a victim who has been bitten by their partner.
Yes as a society we seem to only be shocked by the most graphic
of situations, so how does that help a victim have the confidence
to come forward and reach out for help; it doesn’t.
I want to try to show what domestic violence entails; the subtle
forms and the not so subtle forms, and I want to try to show how
difficult it is, to first off deal with being in such a relationship,
through to trying to negotiate your way out of such a relationship,
the complexities that make it so hard to just leave, and the
emotional and psychological impact that keeps you
www.TinaRoyles.com
If You Or Someone You Know Is Experiencing Domestic Violence Call 01244 760 113
Leader in the field of Domestic Violence
Minimising the Impact of Domestic Violence

4. Leader in the field of Domestic Violence
stuck in a place that you don’t want to be, and if and when you do
leave how all the turmoil and chaos doesn’t just disappear, and
how the effects and impact can filter through to other areas of
your life, but how with the appropriate support and help, and being
armed with information and awareness then you can heal and
recover from its impact*
As a society we either advertently or inadvertently create an
element of acceptance for this behaviour, but this is not and should
not be accepted within any arena, because what this does within
some quarters is create a platform for domestic violence, and
domestic violence should not be tolerated or condoned under any
circumstances.
If you are a victim of domestic violence and abuse, or have been a
victim of domestic violence and abuse and are seeking help, or you
know someone who is a victim of domestic violence then why not
take action and seek help and support today. If you are a
perpetrator who wants to change their behaviour then why
not seek help and support today. www.tinaroyles.com
01244 760113
*extract taken from the forthcoming book ‘When the Apple of
Your Eye is Rotten at the Core’ by Tina Royles MA
Minimising the Impact of Domestic Violence
www.TinaRoyles.com
01244 760 113
If You Or Someone You Know Is Experiencing Domestic Violence Then
Go To www.TinaRoyles.com And Download This Report And Discover
What YOU Can Do TODAY!
Or CALL