1. Running head: PERPETRATORS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 1
Perpetrators of Domestic Violence
Sarah Marais
BSHS 465
October 13, 2014
Professor Salazar

2. PERPETRATORS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 2
Perpetrators of Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence (DV) is a pattern of coercive behavior committed by one adult against
an existing or previous partner, with the objective of creating and preserving power and control
over them. A quarter of women will experience physical abuse from their partners in a lifetime
and approximately seven hundred and fifty thousand children witness DV annually.
Consequently, attention has turned to preventing DV by seeking to treat perpetrators; however it
is complicated. Researchers have learned that abusers are diverse, tending to obscure which
abuser can transform, and with which intervention. The primary interpersonal skills and qualities
human services workers need to successfully work with perpetrators will undoubtedly include
skillful collaboration with professionals such as psychiatrists, addiction specialists, and mental
health workers because this population needs cross-treatment. Change in the human services
professional’s style, behaviors, or attitudes will be also warranted to match this specific
population. Lastly, strategies to use, actions to take to improve my professional skills in this area,
as well as potential challenges and how I would meet and overcome them will also be explored.
Wallach, et al., (2010) argue that patriarchic societies hold more lenient opinions, even
laws, about DV and substantiate male dominance via forceful control toward partners and
children, than those in equal societies. Umberson et al. (1998) argue that men tend to view
ferocity as a way to claim respect and authority, which strongly highlights its importance to
masculine identity. The only tangible way to deter violence, more so than criminal penalties, is
“perceived informal sanctions (e.g., potential loss of one’s partner; loss of respect from friends
and loved ones)” (Neighbors et al., 2010, p.372). Thus, social environment plays an influential
role in determining the nature of an individual’s behavior; not to mention the supposed cookie
cutter abuser profile is now obsolete. Jacobson & Gottman (1998) discovered physiological

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dissimilarities in emotional arousal. Dutton (1995) revealed that many offenders experienced
childhood trauma and alcohol, substance addiction, and severe mental disorders were substantial
elements in at least a third of these lives (Wiley et al., 2006). Genetically predisposed
psychopaths are considered untreatable, while borderline personalities can be treated and no two
temperaments or histories are identical. Thus to begin with, the fundamental interpersonal skills
needed must include courtesy, empowerment, collaboration, verbal, non-verbal, written
communication skills, and active, reflective listening. In addition, emotional resilience, self-
awareness, assertiveness, non-judgment, empathy, and respectfulness will be crucial qualities to
work successfully with perpetrators. Asking permission communicates respect for clients,
opening them for discussion when asked; preferable to lecturing them because people generally
don’t like being told to what to do. While it is imperative for offenders to own their own
behavior, it is the worker’s responsibility to set the scene to ignite that motivation.
Confrontational relationships reduce the opportunity for this to happen, cause redundant
obstruction, and increase that sense of powerlessness; leading to minimization or denial.
Respectfulness involves the absence of reframing the perpetrator’s concerns as victim blaming,
denial, and challenging resistance to change, or poor motivation. Ambivalence is normal and
seeking to understand their perspective, feelings, and concerns without judgment, criticism, or
blame, but with acceptance, will facilitate change. Acceptance creates space for offenders to talk
in their own time and open up about the extent of their violence. Some of these concerns relate to
not feeling appreciated, but are mostly connected to lack of confidence and poor communication
skills. “When I can’t get my point of view over, my words get all muddled and I get confused.
Then I get shaky... it’s like a tight feeling in my chest and then I get angry... shouting first then
pushing, punching...” (Milner & Jessop, 2003).

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After building rapport, using techniques, such as motivational interviewing (MI) and
Readiness to Change Ruler (based on the stages of change model) can be used to evaluate and
improve readiness to change. This population does require differential treatment due to the
specific dynamics of their disorders and it will warrant a change in the human services worker’s
style, behaviors, and foremost, their attitude. For those who can be treated, a number of strategies
are available. For instance, approaching problems with clients from the unique perspective of an
enemy living inside the person facilitates identification of where the feelings begin, what it gets
the person to do, whether they like being dominated by the problem. More importantly, it helps
them think of times when they have resisted it and how it fits with the way they would prefer to
be (Jenkins, 1990). The goal of psychologically externalizing divorces the person from the issue,
avoiding igniting that sense of entitlement; thus, creating new prospects for claiming
accountability and opening up choices for themselves and their relationships (Milner & Jessop.
2003). MI strategies can be used to help clients explore discrepancies between what they want
and where they are now, in a non-confrontational manner. The worker can focus on supporting
the client while they struggle through change and give them a chance to voice anything
personally important to them. Higher confidence and self-worth increases motivation to change
and decreases defensiveness because many clients have such low self-confidence in their ability
to change their behaviors. Thus, eliciting statements that support self-efficacy begins by asking
the offender to reflect good things about themselves, build on memories of past experiences, a
loved one’s favorable perspective of them, and changes they have made in other areas, to
discover strengths and assets they possess (Sobell & Sobell, 2008). It is also easier to focus on
cultivating an attribute or perspective than trying to stop or lessen violent or manipulative
behavior; as well as developing self-care on the grounds that no-one can do caring for others and

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they must learn to care for themselves (Milner & Jessop. 2003). The best way to dive into the
details with the client begins with assessing their readiness to change. Motivation is not a trait or
static, but a state that can rapidly change each day, so a simple, fast way to begin motivational
interviewing is with a Readiness Ruler. From there clients can explore how they feel about
changing, changes they have already made, what they need to do to change further. Decisional
balancing strategies help to realistically evaluate discrepancies by simultaneously looking at the
benefits and risks of their current behavior as well as potential results of change (Sobell &
Sobell, 2008).
Having helped women and their families repair the devastation left behind by abusers, I
have found this area challenging and it has led to self-exploration of my own biases. Personal
experience created issues with the offender’s minimal empathy toward the victim(s), refusal to
accept responsibility for their behavior, or perceive their behavior as harmful and as a matter of
personal choice; their exaggerated sense of entitlement, manipulative attitude, and heightened
resistance to change has left a sour taste on my palette. Psychopaths and Sociopaths, in
particular, feel completely justified in lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulating others. They do
not suffer from low self-esteem or insecurities (although they often pretend to feel that way in
order to manipulate others), but actually believe that they are superior to others. They are
egotistical and arrogant and this makes it impossible for them to benefit from therapy, or change
unless they want to. They become chameleons and develop an insatiable need to win; whether it
is money, a place to live, sex, a cloak of normalcy, or a short-term thrill. They use manipulative
tactics like mirroring, deception, projection, flaming, gaslighting, pity plays and other forms of
emotional and physical abuse to idealize, manipulate, confuse, and intimidate others, all in the
name of winning—repeatedly. Personality disorders are genetically predisposed, so they don't

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have total control over their behavior (DSM-IV, 2000). I can only imagine being unable to feel
love, vulnerability, trust, and no real connection with others; where the only highs in one's life
comes only from sex, drugs, and conning people. Nevertheless, their behavior is not to be
addressed lightly or excused—they and are still accountable for their actions. While it may not
be their fault, these people are extremely dangerous. Professionals will disclose that they feel like
they are losing their mind when they interact with Psychopaths or Sociopaths. As professionals,
we need to be aware of vulnerabilities and insecurities to protect ourselves and not invalidate
ourselves, or sacrifice our own integrity. Nonetheless, according to Gondolf (2000) and Gilchrist
et al. (2003) these severe personality disorders (APD) only comprise of 15% of the total abuser
population, while 29% meet Axis II, and low borderline APD and emotionally dependent
comprise 56% and do not meet DSM-IV criteria at all; indicating some can benefit from
treatments specific to their particular dysfunction, so focus here may be beneficial (p. 473). I still
feel conflicted in light of manipulation tactics used and hurt they cause, yet I am currently
examining my own attitudes about offenders, current approaches, and established theories about
the nature of DV. According to Levesque (2008) and Schaefer (2012), resistant responses
typically involve system blaming and social justification; problems with partner and victim
blaming; focusing on the counselor’s confrontational attitude, hopelessness, isolation, and
negative or passive reactance, as well as arguing, interruption, etc.. After evaluating new
discoveries, it would appear that the current practice of challenging perpetrators and
pathologizing responses appears to be the real challenge because it can restrict future
motivational development and provokes deep distress over a perceived inability to escape from
an adversarial relationship. In essence, workers want to steer away from shutting clients down, if
they seek to make a difference in this dynamic. Most clients have stated they do want to improve

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their lives and relationships and the victims are not alone in demonstrating low self-esteem,
unhappiness, and a sense of powerlessness over their inability to communicate needs effectively.
Thus, a new perspective is needed from professionals to be able to use a strengths-based
approach in focusing on abusers as the primary resource for solutions.
Evidently, the complex dynamics of interpersonal domestic violence, including the varied
disorders that play a central part in it, shows that human services workers would do themselves,
these clients, and their families a great disservice if they attempted to work with them on a solo
basis. Thus, skillful collaboration with other experts in their special fields is essential because
cross-treatment is vital for this population. Indeed, human services professionals would need to
evaluate their whole attitude toward perpetrators in order to change their style, behaviors, and
avoid a confrontational attitude. It would be a challenge, given the nature of their behavior, but it
is vital to show them respect and empathy at all costs, and to focus on their strengths to build
self-worth and efficacy. This extends to my own professional skills, personal challenges, and I
feel I have gained a huge amount of insight into strategies to use, personally and professionally,
in this area. An extract from a recently published book by M.E. Thomas (2013), Confessions of a
Sociopath, suggested the very harsh insight that perhaps the real problem is, “in getting “normal”
people to see that they are actually worse than they believe themselves to be. It is convenient to
define normal as whatever you happen to be.” Perhaps she is correct. Perhaps the first thing to do
is to stop labelling people perpetrators and victims, pathologizing behavior, and simply looking
at a human being, unique in their own right, to really help make a difference in this world.

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References
American Psychiatric Association. (2012). DSM-IV and DSM-5 Criteria for the Personality
Disorders. Retrieved from:
http://www.psi.uba.ar/academica/carrerasdegrado/psicologia/sitios_catedras/practicas_pr
ofesionales/820_clinica_tr_personalidad_psicosis/material/dsm.pdf
Levesque, D. (2008). Processes of Resistance in Domestic Violence Offenders. Retrieved from:
https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/223620.pdf
Milner, J. & Jessop, D. (2003). The Journal of Community and Criminal Justice: Domestic
Violence: Narrative and solutions. Retrieved from: UoP Library
Neighbors, C. Walker, D. Mbilinyi, L. O'Rourke, A. Edleson, J. Zegree, J. and Roffman R.
(2010). Normative Misperceptions of Abuse Among Perpetrators of Intimate Partner
Violence. Retrieved from: UoP Library
Schaefer, B. (2012). Effectively Interviewing Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Offenders.
Retrieved from: http://www.criminaljustice.ny.gov/opca/pdfs/effectively-interviewing-
domestic-violence-and-sexual-assault-offenders-redacted.pdf
Sobell and Sobell, (2008). Motivational Interviewing Strategies and Techniques: Rationales and
Examples. Retrieved from: UoP Library
Thomas, M. (2013). Confessions of a Sociopath. Retrieved from:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/confessions-sociopath
Umberson, D. Anderson, K. Glick, J. Shapiro, A. (1998). Journal of Marriage and the Family:
Domestic Violence, Personal Control, and Gender. Retrieved from: UoP Library

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Wallach, H. Weingram, Z. and Avitan, O. (2010). Journal of Interpersonal Violence: Attitudes
Toward Domestic Violence: A Cultural Perspective. Journal of Interpersonal Violence.
Retrieved from: UoP Library
White, R. & Gondolf, E. (2000). Journal of Interpersonal Violence: Implications of Personality
Profiles for Batterer Treatment. Retrieved from: UoP Library
Wiley, J & Sons. (2006). Criminal Behavior and Mental Health: Treatment for Perpetrators of
Domestic Violence: Controversy in Policy and Practice. Retrieved from: UoP Library