Misunderstanding grief | Psychology Festival of Learning
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We warmly welcome Suzette Venter to this year's SACAP Psychology Festival of Learning. Suzette is a mother who lost her eldest son, Eugene, in January 2006. Since then she journeyed through her grief and also ran The Compassionate Friends in Cape Town (self-help support organisation for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents). What she understands best is the grieving journey…for her it is not a process, but a whirlpool of emotions and re-adapting to life. Suzette has a passion for helping people and has compassion towards parents finding their way back after the death of a child or children.
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Misunderstanding grief | Psychology Festival of Learning
- 1. Welcome Please follow us on Facebook (SACAP) & Twitter (@SACAP) – please use #psychologyfest in all Tweets)
- 2. The misunderstanding of grieve… By Suzette Venter The Compassionate Friends www.tcfcape.co.za Email: support@tcfcape.co.za
- 3. Suzette Venter • Grief supporter • The Compassionate Friends Cape Town • Workshops • Speaker • Hypnotherapist • Cell: 0845688402 • Email: healinglotusza@gmail.com
- 4. Suzette Venter • University of life… • Experience hardship of various kinds… • Most profound impact… • Eugene’s story • Growing from this.
- 5. The Compassionate Friends • International, self help support organisation • Started in England by Reverend Simon Stephens in 1969 • TCF was founded in South Africa in 1983 by Linda Abelheim and there are now more the 30 groups throughout the country. • TCF CT in 1984 Miriam Briderman Daughter and family was killed in a car accident. She started TCF Cape Town after that.
- 6. What is grieve… • Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone loved dies • Mourning is the outward expression of grief • Everyone who has the capacity to give and receive love grieves when someone loved dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn.
- 7. Be compassionate with yourself • The journey through grief is a long and difficult one. It is also a journey for which there is no preparation • Be compassionate with yourself as you encounter painful thoughts and feeling of loss and grieve • Don’t judge yourself or try to set a particular course for healing • Let your journey be what it is. And let yourself – your new, grieving self – be who you are.
- 8. Understanding the needs of mourning • Acknowledge the reality of the death • Embrace the pain of the loss • Remember the person who died • Develop a new self-identity • Search for meaning • Receive ongoing support from others
- 9. Misunderstanding of grieve… • There is a time limit… • There is closure… • There is life after a death… • Using the wrong words of comfort… • No contact…not talking… • Transferring your inability to structure their grieving…
- 10. Conclusion… • Each person grieve individually • Each grieving process is unique • Each grieving process has a differing timeline • Be caring, always ask about the deceased • Talk about the deceased • Always show love and compassion…
- 11. Thank you Please visit www.sacap.edu.za/events to view material from this talk and to add your comments Please follow us on Facebook (SACAP) & Twitter (@SACAP – please use #psychologyfest in all Tweets)