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La Divina Commedia (3)

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  • 1. La  Divina  Commedia  (3)  Creating  the  life  and  career  you  love  in  the  Second  Half  of  Life  By  Peter  de  Kuster  with  Falco  Valkenburg            Identifying  the  Hell  of  Closed  Doors    Ghiberti’s  Doors      There  is  nothing  more  hellish  than  the  unknown    
  • 2.    Think  back  to  the  times  you  were  most  scared  while  watching  a  movie.    Bet  it  were  moments  when  someone  up  the  screen  was  about  to  open  a  closed  door,  or  step  into  a  darkened  tunnel,  or  turn  a  corner.  Or  entered  hell  like  Dante.      Ironically,  the  anticipation  of  the  horrors  that  could  suddenly  appear  were  always  far  more  frightening  than  whatever  actually  did  show  up.  Stories  as  Hannibal  Lecter  which  plays  in  Florence  are  so  successfull  because  they  spend  more  time  letting  us  dream  up  our  own  fears  from  what  remains  unknown  and  unseen,  rather  than  actually  showing  us  something.      Right  now  the  hell  of  obstacles  to  you  creating  a  life  and  work  you  love  are  at  their  most  daunting  because  they’re  still  nameless  and  shapeless.  They’re  like  the  closed  doors  to  Paradise  of  Ghiberti,  blocking  your  path  to  paradise,  hiding  innumerable  imagined  traps  and  errors.  We’ve  been  there.  We  know  what  that’s  like.  When  obstacles  are  abstract  it’s  easy  to  start  playing  out  worstcase  scenarios  in  your  head.  As  a  result,  general,  free-­‐form  fears  and  problems  seem  insurmountable.      Writers  like  Dante,  artists  like  Ghiberti  have  all  sorts  of  names  for  this  uncomfortable  place.  Some  call  it  ‘the  descent  into  hell’,    others  ‘closed  doors’.    They  all  tell  the  same  story:  identify  all  the  barriers  between  you  and  the  life  of  your  dreams.  And  you  can  enter  paradise  or  heaven.  
  • 3.                
  • 4. The  Twelve  Most  Common  Closed  Doors      The  specifics  of  the  obstacles  you  face  will  be  unique  because  you  and  the  life  of  your  dreams  are  unique.    We  have  found  however  that  there  twelve  general  obstacles  for  people  who  want  to  create  a  life  and  work  they  love  in  the  second  half  of  life:  age,  money,    duration,  consent,  location,  physical  location,  education,  timing,  esteem,  fear  of  failure,  fear  of  success  and  fatalism.          
  • 5. 1. Age.    In  our  experience,  this  is  the  most  common  barrier  for  the  50+     Most  often,  people  believe  they’re  too  old  to  pursue  the  life  of  their   dreams.       2. Money.    A  very  close  second  in  frequency  is  the  worry  that  either  you   don’t  have  sufficient  financial  reserves  to  launch  a  Divina  Commedia   or  that  pursuing  your  dream  life  and  job  won’t  offer  enough  of  an   income  to  keep  you  and  your  loved  ones  afloat.             3. Duration.    Divina  Commedia’s  often  consist  of  dramatic  journeys   requiring  a  look  in  the  abyss  of  hell  before  to  move  forward  to   heaven.  As  a  result,  you  might  be  concerned  by  the  amount  of  time   you  think  it  will  take  to  succeed  in  your  new  life.       4. Consent.    No  man  or  woman  is  an  island.  Regardless  of  age,  gender  or   marital  status,  you  may  find  you  need  the  consent  or  perhaps  even  
  • 6. outright  support,  of  someone  else  to  pursue  your  dream.  It’s  common   to  fear  consent  will  be  withheld  or  support  won’t  be  forthcoming.               5. Location.  Despite  all  the  advances  in  technologie  and  all  the  moves   toward  a  global  economy,  people  often  believe  they’re  simply  not   living  in  the  right  location  to  live  the  life  of  their  dreams.       6. Physical  condition.  You  can’t  do  anything  if  you  try  hard  enough.   Some  dreams  are  contingent  on  your  phsyical  condition.  So  work  on   this.       7. Education.  Just  as  physical  condition  may  be  requirement  for  some   dreams,  so  a  specific  education  may  be  a  sine  qua  non  to  succeed  at   certain  Divina  Commedia’s.       8. Timing.  It’s  very  common  to  feel  the  timing  just  isn’t  right  to  launch  a   Divina  Commedia.  Some  explain  they    need  to  wait  until  their  lives  or   circumstances  have  changed  in  some  way.    
  • 7.       9. Esteem.  It  is  incredible  how  much  power  over  our  lives  we   unconsciously  give  to  other  people.  Even  the  most  inwardly  secure   and  self  –  possessed  individual  often  feels  a  conscious  or   subconscious  need  to  win  the  approvement  of  someone  else.  We  all     worry  far  more  about  what  others  think  of  us  than  we  often  care  to   admit.  That’s  why  esteem  is  often  an  obstacle  to  changing  your  life.      10.Fear  of  failure.    A  lack  of  self  –  esteem  is  an  obvious  barrier  to  creating  a  life  and  work  you  love  in  the  second  half  of  your  life.  Ofcourse  it’s  rarely  framed  that  way  to  others.  Instead  it’s  presented  as  the  realization  they  simply  don’t  possess  the  required  elements  it  takes  to  pursue  their  dreams.  Why  put  myself  through  the  hell  of  failure?    11.  Fear  of  success.  Ironically,  many  of  the  people  whose  fear  of  failure  is  an  obstacle  to  their  launching  a  Divina  Commedia  also  have  a  fear  of  success  that  blocks  their  path  to  happiness.  They’ll  say,  even  if  by  chance  they  achieve  their  dream,  it  won’t  last  long.  It  will  be  taken  away  from  them.  In  their  eyes,  every  success  has  to  eventually  become  a  failure.    And  achieving  a  goal,  only  to  lose  it  later  would,  they  feel,  be  worse  than  never  having  achieved  it  at  all.  So,  they  rationalize,  it’s  better  to  not  even  go  after  the  life  of  their  dreams.    12.  Fatalism.    Finally,  there  are  people  whose  pessimistic  view  of  themselves  or  the  world  is  an  obstacle  to  creating  a  life  and  work  they  love.  They  don’t  feel  entitled  to  live  the  life  of  their  dreams.  They’re  fatalists;  they  
  • 8. believe  that  they’ve  been  dealt  a  hand  they  can’t  change.  Destiny  is  fixed,  in  their  eyes,  and  they  aren’t  going  to  have  any    more  than  they  currently  have  or  be  any  happier  than  they  are  right  now.  Of  course,  they  thing  they  could  get  more  miserable.  Such  people  often  feel  trying  to  create  the  life  they  dream  of  will  make  them  feel  even  worse.      How  do  we  open  these  doors?                  

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