never give in to diffidence, be bold. I'll teach you how

1. By Clinton Odumah
Of
Buildingthelife.com

2. Take it from someone who was once
drowned in the feeling of apprehension
and awkwardness during social
encounters, or better still one with a
P.HD in diffidence (being shy), there is
nothing that gives you an upper
hand than boldness. Although
shyness is in-born, with practice it can
be eliminated. You probably feel like
dissolving in class when asked a
question (not because you don’t know
the answer, but because you are not
bold), or you feel like walking into the
earth when you walk pass pretty ladies
or handsome guys as the case may be, or
even looking someone straight up and
having a simple conversation seems to
be like an exam set by Einstein, then the
word “shy” defines you. Well, it doesn’t
always have to be like this, if I could be
self-confident, I don’t see anyone who
can’t.

4. STEPS TOOVERCOMESHYNESS
 Understand and accept the fact that you are shy.
 Track the scenarios when this feeling envelops you.
 Try to mix up with people.
 Watch television shows and read books.
 Dress smart.
 Practice standing tall.
 Learn to say “NO” at inappropriate times.

5. Understand and accept the fact
that you are shy
 This is the first step to eliminating shyness.
Understand that you are painfully shy, and make it
clear to yourself that you are shy and accept the fact.
The more you try to resist it, the more it prevails. I
know for a fact that you cannot resist what is in-born;
but you can nurture it and learn to manage it at first,
and then follow the next steps outlined.

6. Track the scenarios when this
feeling envelops you
 It is important that you take note of the situations when
you get this feeling. Find out what situations trigger it.
Track the root. Do you feel shy around pretty ladies, or in
class, or even among relatives and friends. Knowing the
various occasions when you would shiver even when the
sun is up, when your body would vibrate profusely as if you
just ran a marathon, or when your posture would change as
though you were in a beauty pageant. Knowing these
triggers will make you aware and prepared of what is to
come. During the time of preparations, you could practice
what to say and the answers to give to every question asked.
This way you learn control over diffidence a little.

7. Challenge your thoughts
 About 70% of the reasons you are shy is because of the
negative ideas we allow into our minds. If you think;
‘No, I can’t talk with that man, his not my class’, or ‘no
I can’t be in a meeting, where I have to sit in front’, and
although you know for sure that talking to that man,
or being in that meeting would most likely be of help
to you, you still abstain from it because of your
thoughts. Challenge negative thoughts and rewire your
brain to think positively, if you are to develop self-
confidence.

8. Try to mix up with people
 Of course, shy people are not the most social, so this
stage is often difficult for some. Like back then, I
would send a friend of mine to help get a certain
persons’ contact that I would like to commune with. I
would often say whatever I want over the internet or
via the phone and act as if I never knew the person the
next day. Well, quite expected, as I continued with the
conversation online, it gradually turned into a
relationship, and transferred to a face to face dialogue.
So, find what method works for you and mix up with
people. This would give your self-confidence a huge
boost.

9. Watch television shows and
read books
 It is not a debate, shy people don’t know how to start a
conversation, maybe a few, but they can barely keep
the conversation going, now that’s where television
shows and books come to play. Television shows would
give you interesting topics you could invite to your
conversation and make you look cool. This way, there
doesn’t need to be that odd 5-10 seconds of silence
during the conversation. Reading books is also another
way you could integrate great ideas and keep your
conversation flowing.

10. Dress smart
 Like everyone knows, the way you dress, is the way
you’ll be addressed, and the way you are addressed
gives you that sense of boldness or low self esteem.
Always try your best to look smart and you’d just be
surprised how high you’d raise your shoulders without
having to shake.

11. Practice standing tall
 Just next to your dressing is your posture. We all know
walking with your head bowed down to the ground
depicts shyness. This is why this issue should be noted.
Practice walking upright with your head held up high.
When you involuntarily bow your head, raise it up
again, continue the process until you rise above it.

12. Learn to say “NO” at
inappropriate times
 Of course this is another side effect of diffidence, in a
bid to end conversations quickly before your heart
beats out of proportion you say yes to every request. I
know it isn’t easy to overcome this, but you should
practice it until you have full control. Once you have
control over this, shyness is bound to run for the hills.

13. I hope this concrete insight helps you to
overcome shyness as it also availed me.
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