July in pho

Parliamentary and Health Service
Ombudsman staff magazine
Issue 86/July 2013
Find out more inside
Spring into action
inPHOmation
Reaching the
hard–to–reach
So long, Jon Ward
Glorious Glasto

Press Officer Anne Nicholls tells us all about hard-to-reach
groups, and what we’ll be doing, in future, to reach them.
Reaching the hard–to–reach
4 19
14
8 InPHOmation says goodbye to
our outgoing Director of People
& Organisational Development,
Jon Ward.
So long, Jon Ward
One, two, three, four. Dave
Riley declares bun war.
Find out more about buns,
baps, batches and barms
than you’ll ever need to
know!
For sale: one pair of size three wellies. Worn once, hardly
used. Camouflage cagoule, size small, never worn. Find
out how our designer, Sue Spevack, got on at this year’s
Glastonbury Festival.
Bun fight!
HIGHLIGHTS
July 2013
Glorious Glasto

CONTENTS
Reaching the hard-to-reach 4-6
In the news 7
So long, Jon Ward 8-10
My journey so far 11
Service delivery update 12-13
Glorious Glasto 14-18
Yes, it’s inPHOmation time again.
Believe it or not, this is my 12th
edition as editor. So I’ve now
completed an entire 12-month run
without being fired. It’s a miracle.
I was going to release a special
compendium edition this month,
containing highlights from the
last year. Unfortunately, this was
deemed to be too lazy, so we had
to throw something together at the
last minute.
We’ve got some good pieces for
you this month. Press Officer
Anne Nicholls tells us all about
hard-to-reach groups, we say
goodbye to Director of People
& Organisational Development
Jon Ward and find out how POD’s
Tehmina Ansari is getting along on
her maternity leave.
We also hear from Sue Spevack
about her experiences at this
year’s Glastonbury Festival. Sue’s
the person who makes all of our
reports and publications look
pretty, so we hope the festival
helped recharge her creative juices
(if it’s possible to recharge a juice).
And Dave Riley stirs up a veritable
hornet’s nest of controversy with
his bit about buns.
So that’s it for this month, I hope
you like it. I’m off on holiday now,
so had to get this edition booted
out of the door rather sharpish.
Still, it should be up to the usual
standard. There’s even a picture of
a ninja on this page, and you don’t
get many of those in official PHSO
literature. Probably for good reason!
From the editor
Jason Deacy waffles
on about what’s in this
month’s edition of
inPHOmation.
Bun fight! 19
A tale of three cities 20-22
The 2013 People Survey is almost here 23
The idiot’s film review 24
Astrology corner 25
What’s on in London and Manchester 26-27

inPHOmation Issue 86/July 2013
4

One of the tasks in this year’s
business plan is to put together a
campaign aimed at the ‘hard-to-
reach’. This is part of the overall
strategy to achieve more impact
for more people and encourage
more people to complain. Despite
a 13 per cent rise in complaints over
the past year, awareness of PHSO
is not as high as we would like. In
the latest PHSO Omnibus survey,
just 37 per cent of respondents
were aware of the Health Service
Ombudsman and 28 per cent
had heard of the Parliamentary
Ombudsman, but overall awareness
has been falling steadily for about a
decade. Awareness of the Financial
Ombudsman Service, by contrast, is
much higher.
Awareness is particularly low
amongst four groups. Within the
15-34 age group, just 20 per cent
had heard of PHSO, compared to 48
per cent of the over-55s. A similar
pattern is found amongst black and
ethnic minority (BME) groups and
in lower social class bands (D/E).
We also have evidence that people
with learning disabilities have low
awareness of PHSO.
What does that tell us? We know
that most young people and BME
groups haven’t heard about us.
But this doesn’t necessary mean
that we should be targeting them
as part of an awareness campaign.
Young people, for instance, may not
be heavy users of public services,
so would not have a reason to
complain or engage with us. Those
who do have a grouse may prefer
to go to campaigning websites,
engage with action groups, take
part in street protests (smashing
up Millbank Tower windows,
maybe) or direct lobbying through
organisations like the National
Union of Students. Nor should
hard-to-reach groups be seen as a
Press Officer Anne
Nicholls tells us all
about hard-to-reach
groups, and what we’ll
be doing, in future, to
reach them
Reaching
the hard-
to-reach
5

6
homogenous group. For instance,
there is a huge diversity between
different BME groups that include
Asian Muslims, Hindus, East African
Asians, British-born people of
Caribbean origin, Nigerians, Somalis
and many more.
Before embarking on any awareness
campaign, we need to be sure that
we are targeting the right groups
with the right messages. Here are
some interesting findings about
communicating with the hard-to-
reach that I’ve gleaned from various
online resources and seminars
including one run by the BME
specialist at No. 10 Downing Street.
The overriding message is that
research and insight is vital before
plunging into a campaign that might
fall like a lead balloon. Get the
message, tone, language and images
wrong and it’s worse than doing
nothing at all. But you also need to
choose the right communication
channels. 20 per cent of the UK
population are still not online
(they don’t have a computer and
internet connection at home) and
14 per cent (around 7 million) don’t
use the internet at all. For elderly
people in particular, old-fashioned
snail mail is more appropriate than
email. A campaign to stop plans to
do away with payment by cheques,
aimed mainly at elderly people,
engaged the support of around
50 stakeholder groups, including
charities such as Age UK, and then
distributed leaflets via relevant
channels and intermediaries.
Using intermediaries is the key
to success because there is a
mistrust of authority figures
amongst many hard-to-reach
groups. That means developing
relationships with trusted sources
such as charities, peer groups and
community leaders. A campaign for
better food labelling to encourage
healthy eating, for instance,
works much better if fronted or
endorsed by a charity like the
British Heart Foundation, even if
the campaign originated from a
government department. Finding
out where people congregate,
whether physically or virtually, is
another approach. A campaign
aimed at getting people from
BME backgrounds to sign up to
become blood donors was built
around a music event with ‘blood
donor ambassadors’ from the local
community. To boost attendance,
email and text messaging was
used. The campaign reached 13,000
people within three months.
So what does all this mean for
PHSO? We are yet to select the
two groups to focus an awareness
campaign on because we need
better insight into which ones have
the greatest need for our services.
But there are some clear messages
here that will be invaluable when
we develop messages and start to
put together the campaign plans.
We’re working with Research and
Customer Service colleagues to
move this work forward, so watch
this space.
Reaching the hard-to-reach
Our 2012-13 annual report, Aiming for
impact, was published this month.
Julie’s introduction to the report
begins by saying that ‘Two things
have made it possible for us to
start to achieve our ambition.
Our reputation as a well-run
organisation, providing a high-
quality service, has been a strong
foundation on which to build.
And the skill, enthusiasm and
commitment of our staff is helping
to turn our aims into reality,
while still meeting the needs of
our customers every day. The
achievements in this report belong
to them.’
Helen also mentions that ‘Staff were
instrumental in driving this (our
strategy) forward and their detailed
review of our complaints handling
process has helped us prepare for
growing numbers of complaints in
future.’ The report is available to
read on Ombudsnet.
Before embarking on any
awareness campaign, we
need to be sure that we
are targeting the right
groups with the right
messages.
6
Aiming for
impact – our
annual report

77
The coverage in relation to Grant
Thornton’s report into the events
at Morecambe Bay hospitals, and
the CQC’s handling of it has been
extremely widespread in the media.
The report found no evidence that
there was anything improper about
the CQC’s contact with us, or that
the CQC’s Cynthia Bower sought to
influence us not to investigate the
Morecambe Bay complaint.
Much of the focus has been on the
main figures at the CQC at the time
and the report into Morecambe Bay
which was not released. However,
we did receive a lot of mentions.
This related both to the reference in
the report to finding no evidence of
an improper relationship between
our offices and the subsequent
media coverage of our ongoing
investigation into the North West
Strategic Health Authority.
‘The Independent on Sunday
can reveal the health service
watchdog, the Parliamentary
and Health Service Ombudsman
(PHSO), is investigating a number
of complaints by families against
the NWSHA, known as NHS
North West when Mr Farrar
was in charge. It is examining
the way the authority under
Mr Farrar responded to the deaths,
how they were investigated, and
the supervision of midwives at
University Hospitals Morecambe
Bay (UHMB).’
Exclusive: The Independent on
Sunday
A damning email shows the CQC
telling police Cynthia Bower could
not provide ‘witness statements
that would add any value to the
investigation’ into the deaths at
Furness General Hospital. But the
independent report into the CQC’s
alleged cover-up claims Bower
had been given a ‘flavour’ of the
disturbing events at the hospital by
the Health Service Ombudsman in
2009.
Watchdog lied to cops: The Sun
‘The Health Service Ombudsman
has confirmed that it was
investigating the behaviour of the
now-abolished NHS North West
strategic health authority at the
time of the failings at Furness, but
would not comment on the details
of its investigations.’
I refused call to dismiss CQC
whistle-blower, says Lansley:
The Guardian
Also this month, with the continued
discussion in the press about the
widespread ‘gagging’ culture in the
NHS, Julie wrote a piece in The
Telegraph describing how this can
only be detrimental for patients.
‘…We are seeing a toxic cocktail
within some hospitals, where
a reluctance to complain is
combined with that culture of
defensiveness as well as a failure
to listen to feedback. Mistakes are
covered up rather than dealt with
before they escalate into a crisis.
This means hospitals are losing the
opportunity to listen to complaints
and improve services … Mistakes
will always happen. But what we
want is to encourage hospitals
– and other organisations – to
embrace a culture of learning from
complaints instead of a ‘blame and
gag’ culture. Gagging is a symptom
of a defensive culture; good
complaint-handling is a sign of a
more open culture.’
In the
Morgan Evans reports on our press coverage

88
So long,
Jon Ward
InPHOmation says goodbye to
our outgoing Director of People &
Organisational Development

99
Investors in People (IIP) accreditation
that we’ve had since 1999, and has
been borne out in our staff survey
results. My proudest achievement
was probably our People Strategy,
which encompassed a vision for
what we wanted working at PHSO
to be like, what kind of workforce
we needed and what we needed
to do to achieve that working
environment. I’ll really miss the
people here, for their commitment,
competence, camaraderie, and
consideration. The four Cs!
In terms of the less positive things,
well, while I enjoy a good debate,
I think we sometimes agonise a bit
too much over detail. We’re a very
detail-focused organisation, which
is inevitable when you think about
what our core business is, and that
flows right through the organisation.
The problem is that search for
perfection can sometimes be the
enemy of good, as the saying goes.
What were your first impressions of
PHSO?
Well, after arriving I did wonder
what I’d let myself in for as it seemed
so backward. It was very strange for
me. I’d mainly worked in the NHS in
my career, since going into personnel
work in 1984. Contrary to popular
belief, the NHS is quite a dynamic
and fast-moving organisation in
many ways. I then became a civil
servant when the NHS Executive
merged with the Department of
Health, but it still wasn’t like the
civil service. When I came here, it
was totally different, it wasn’t only
coming into a civil service-type
culture but one that almost seemed
to be behind, like a backwater. Mind
you, it was exciting in some ways, as
there was lots of scope to do things
Jon, how does it feel to be leaving
PHSO after nearly 15 years?
I joined in September 1998 as
what was quaintly called ‘Head of
Personnel’ as the first professionally
qualified Head of Personnel at
PHSO. Now that I’m leaving, I’ve got
quite mixed feelings. I believe that
PHSO’s a great place to work and
it’s certainly been good for me and
my career. I’ll miss it and I’ll miss the
people. That said, I think 15 years
was probably a bit too long, and
the prospect of leaving now is very
exciting and I’m looking forward to
doing something different. I don’t
know what that is yet, but I’ll take
stock after my first decent break in
29 years of working.
So, you ended up staying 15 years
because of how much you enjoyed
working here. What have you loved
about PHSO? And what’s got on
your nerves?
I would say I love the mission of
the place, what it tries to achieve. I
think the core values we try to live
by, excellence, leadership integrity
and diversity, are really important.
Overall, I think we have lived by
them, and I feel they fit with my
own personal values. I’ve also loved
the organisation’s willingness to
embrace and support progressive
employment strategies, policies
and initiatives. I’ve always felt that
PHSO has been completely serious
about being a great place to work,
in order that people can give their
best and provide the best possible
service to our customers. There have
been debates sometimes about the
best way of doing that, but I think
the actual commitment to treating
people properly has not changed.
This is demonstrated by the

10
and make it better. For example,
we had a very antiquated computer
system, there was no internet or
Microsoft Office. Another peculiar
thing that struck me was the way
that people were addressed. I
was Mr Ward, both in writing and
verbally. The Ombudsman also had
to be referred to as Commissioner.
Formal longhand memos would
be written, even though we had
a typing pool. Admittedly, there
were only two people in the typing
pool, but they were underutilised.
There were also a lot of eccentrics
here. People tended to come
on loan from other government
departments, which is how our
casework teams were staffed. But
it was a really bizarre collection
of characters. In fact, it was a bit
like working in Sgt Bilko’s motor
platoon. It made personnel work
very interesting as I’d never come
across so many strange situations in
my working life.
Since then, the Office has
changed out of all recognition.
We immediately started to try and
modernise the personnel function,
and the Office itself was also in
the process of being modernised.
Getting IIP was a major step
forward, recruitment got much
better as we started to take on our
own staff rather than relying on
loans from the civil service. So there
was a change going on under the
Ombudsman at the time, Michael
Buckley, and we put in a whole
suite of employment policies that
were much more progressive. So
change was already well under way
by the time Ann Abraham started
as Ombudsman in 2002, but after
that the pace of changed quickened
even more. It’s really just continued,
and I say to people that it feels like
I’ve worked for about four or five
different organisations during my
15 years here. Each phase of change
has made it feel very different,
and now we’re a much more
professional organisation compared
to the well-meaning but amateurish
organisation I joined. Ann Abraham’s
first presentation to the Office,
in spring 2003, spoke about the
‘building blocks of excellence’.
These were the basics we had to
get in place in order to build to
the next level. And Ann had always
wanted to have more impact and
influence out there, but hadn’t felt
ready to push that agenda until we’d
got the whole in-house operation
sorted out. I think she got to the
point where she felt she’d done
that, and it needed somebody else
to take it forward and that’s what
Julie is now doing.
It’s interesting to hear the story of
that journey, and I think it helps
put our current changes into
perspective. What reassurance
would you give to people in the
Office who are nervous about the
future?
Opportunities arise with any
change. I think you have to be
positive about what change can
bring, and try to shape that change
within the organisation. You also
need to pay attention to any
opportunities that may be available
to you, and position yourself to
take advantage of them. There will
always be chances for talented
people to shine out. You also have
to be realistic and try to get beyond
the denial stage of thinking it won’t
happen, or that everything will
So long, Jon Ward
return to normal afterwards. Change
is normal these days and you have
to adapt to it. As I say, there has
been lots of change at PHSO over
the years but plenty of people
have been through that journey
and are still here. I was clearing
out some files the other day, and I
came across some files I had about
mentoring sessions we ran in 2000.
Looking at the list of attendees, 13
of the 30 who came are still here.
So even over a period of time like
that, covering a lot of change, those
people stayed and developed their
careers at PHSO.
Finally, now that you are moving
on, what’s your dream job? What
have you always wanted to do?
And what do you think you will do?
I’d love to have been a professional
sportsman, footballer or a cricketer.
I support Southampton Football
Club, as I was born in London
but grew up in Hampshire. I also
wouldn’t mind being a professional
golfer, or a coach for either the
England football or cricket teams.
I also wouldn’t mind being the
scientist who discovered a cure
for cancer. But realistically, I’d
like to help young people into
employment. I think we’re in danger
of throwing a whole generation
onto the scrapheap. I was reading
in the paper the other day that
kids expect to be unemployed for
two years. I’ve got two daughters
– of 17 and 22 - and having been
unemployed for six months myself
after leaving university, I know
what it can do to you. So if there’s
something I could do to help young
people get into employment, I think
that would be very rewarding.

I left PHSO in mid-January to begin
my maternity leave, and I was really
excited. I was about to embark
on a new chapter in my life and
welcome baby number two into
this world. I already have a sweet
four-year-old, and can I add,
challenging boy. Baby number
two was going to be another boy.
One person commented ‘you’re
going to have your hands full …’ I
didn’t know how full until I had the
baby and some weeks passed.
I heard people comment a few
times, when I told them I’d taken
11 months of maternity leave, ‘you
must be enjoying your holiday/
long break’. I’m glad to say I am,
but with two boys it’s not quite a
holiday or a break. It’s extremely
challenging (to say the least),
but I love being around both of
them. The time I’m spending with
them is real quality time. I’m now
in my sixth month of maternity
leave, and I’ve adjusted well to
the baby routine (that is, nappies,
interrupted nights, feeding, and
now a bit of teething). Going
through it the second time around
doesn’t seem so daunting and
stressful. However, this time I
had my four-year-old to manage
(toddler tantrums, the feeling
of attention being shared etc).
Thankfully, this has got better!
Maternity leave is an absolute
must for adjusting both physically
and mentally. I’m fortunate that
this process has been made slightly
easier, due to my parents lending
a huge helping hand, and of
course my husband has been very
supportive.
I’m halfway into my maternity
leave, and I have to say time is
flying by. I’ve been keeping in
touch with work colleagues to
find out what’s going on and will
eventually use some keeping in
touch (KIT) days to come into the
office, attend meetings and
re-engage with colleagues. It will
also be good for me to have a
break from the baby, just for a few
hours.
Maternity leave gives us mothers
a moment to pause and reflect in
a lifetime of work. It’s a gift for us
to take a bit of time out – to work
out what we really want, and how
we’re going to achieve it. It’s the
foundation on which we build our
future life with our children.
Motherhood is extremely
rewarding and fulfilling, and I
wanted to share this beautiful
quote I came across to sum up my
journey so far:
‘Children make you want to start
life over.’ Muhammad Ali
11
Tehmina Ansari reports
on her maternity leaveMy journey so far

Service Delivery staffing
Please welcome James Hughes,
our new Service Desk Assistant at
Millbank. Feel free to say hello as
you see him out and about across
the floors!
Floor moves and changes in
Millbank
Over the course of this month, we
will be moving people from the 23rd
floor to the 21st and 24th floors.
This will also involve people moving
who are already on these floors.
By 1 August, the 23rd floor will be
empty and out of use for staff. This
is also the date on which we will be
giving up the 20th floor. This will
enable us to make considerable cost
savings and make even better use of
our space. Please be understanding
while we make changes to our floors
to achieve this. We hope to have
additional meeting rooms installed
on the 15th floor during August and,
once in place, they will be available
to book on Outlook.
River View Café, Millbank
In response to your feedback,
our catering contractor, Elior,
has published a new hospitality
brochure. In addition, Steve, our
café chef, is always happy to help by
discussing any other options or ideas
you may also like to consider for
your meetings and events.
We also want to make the process
of arranging hospitality easier for
you, so we’re creating an online
order form. We hope to have the
new form ready for use from 15 July.
We will let you know as soon as it is
available.
You may have noticed that the café
now offers a selection of greeting
cards for sale. Steve will keep a
supply of stamps, in case you need
to buy those too.
Green Tip
Why do we have Zip taps? The Zip
taps are better for the environment
and use less energy than kettles,
based on the volume of water they
use. When you boil a kettle, more
often than not, you will be boiling
cold or lukewarm water. This takes
longer to heat up and uses more
electricity than the Zip taps, which
maintain a water temperature
within 0.2 degrees of their set
temperature, which is 98 degrees.
This temperature is the same as
that of water poured from a boiled
kettle. The water from the Zip taps
is filtered too, which will ensure any
delicious limescale and chlorine is
removed before drinking. We are
also able to use them to provide
chilled water, removing the necessity
to provide boiling and chilled water
separately.
Portable appliance testing at
The Exchange
We will be testing all our electrical
appliances in the week commencing
22 July. We’ll give you notice of exact
details nearer the time, but please
can you ensure that you keep your
Service
Delivery
update
Find out what our Service Delivery team
have been up to this month
12

desk tidy and remove any personal
electrical appliances/phone
chargers as these should not be
left out for testing. Thank you.
ICT
Meridio upgrade
Meridio has been upgraded to the
latest version. As this was only a
software patch upgrade, there is
no additional functionality from
the release, however, it has fixed two
known PHSO bugs:
• ‘Num lock’ should no longer be
turned off every time you open
an Excel document from Meridio.
• Auto-save no longer crashes
Meridio Word documents.
HR Pro changed to Open HR
HR Pro, including HR self-service, has
been upgraded; the latest version of
the software has been rebranded as
Open HR. You can continue to access
self-service from the link on the
home page of Ombudsnet, and apart
from some minor detail changes,
you will still find the same options
for viewing your personal details,
and booking leave etc. by launching
a workflow. Any workflow that
was already in progress prior to the
upgrade can be run from the pending
workflow steps option on the
left-hand side of the screen.
Contact details
The Exchange - x4524 / email
++ServiceDesk Manchester
Millbank Tower - x4142 / email
++ServiceDesk
13

14

This story actually started about
three years ago, when my friend
Bejal and I were talking about going
to Glastonbury. We had always
wanted to go, but were put off
by the thought of mud and living
in a tent amongst thousands of
other people, who, over the days
of the festival, would get smellier
and smellier. It wasn’t a pleasant
thought.
So for the past three years we said
we should go and then we’d let it
slide, for the reasons above. But
then, after Glasto having a break
last year, we thought we really
should go this time. So we finally
took the plunge and submitted
our details for registration, back in
September last year.
Fast forward to 9am on a Sunday
morning in October 2012 – with
laptop at the ready and fingers
eagerly waiting for the ticket
window to open. The adventure
was about to begin. I must have
pressed ‘refresh’ a good 200 times,
and almost with a case of RSI, an
hour and a half later I finally got
onto the payment screen and we
For sale:
one pair of size
three wellies. Worn
once, hardly used.
Camouflage cagoule,
size small, never worn
Glastonbury Festival
2013, no mud and hot
sunshine – who would
have thought it, eh?
Glorious
Glasto
15

16
got our tickets. Phew! Then I went
back to bed - I was exhausted after
all that effort on a Sunday morning!
After celebrating the fact that we
got tickets, we decided that we
didn’t want to do the tent thing.
Seeing as we were first-timers at
any sort of camping and festival
activity, we opted to hire a camper
van. I know what you’re thinking
– never done a festival and then
doing Glasto? We like a challenge!
We left hiring a camper van a little
late (about eight weeks before the
festival began - note to self, don’t
do that again) and we struggled to
get a van at a reasonable price that
was also comfortable enough to
live in for four days. We received
quotes in excess of £1,500, I think
we could’ve nearly bought a van for
that price.
Eventually, after a week of phone
calls and emails, we managed to
bag ourselves a great Volkswagen
T5 camper van, with all the mod
cons. Well, nearly all, it didn’t have
a toilet and shower, but it had a
fridge, gas hob, sink and running
water, lights, two comfortable
(nearly) double beds and heating
(just in case).
So that was another thing ticked
off the list – now all we had to
get were the Glasto essentials –
wellingtons and a cagoule – and
count down the days to G-Day.
Thursday 27 June rolled round
pretty quickly, and after much
deliberation on how much of my
wardrobe I could fit in a small case,
I set off to Edgware to meet Bejal
and pick up the van for our onward
drive to Somerset.
The van was a lot more spacious
then we thought, and Hilary (the
camper van owner) diligently
showed us the ropes with a lot of
enthusiasm – I think she was more
excited about it all than we were!
And there we were, all packed up
and ready to hit the road in our
little home for the next four days.
For some crazy reason, I
volunteered to drive first, and it
felt very strange being so high up
when driving. I kind of know what
a builder’s van must feel like now
(only our van was much cleaner
and didn’t smell of white spirit).
After about five minutes I felt right
at home, no crunching gears or
knocking anyone’s wing mirror off,
so it was all looking pretty good.
First stop was a small detour to
a Tesco’s down the road, to buy
essentials like milk, bread, cereal,
etc (not mentioning anything about
alcohol being top of our list!) After
that, the satnav was turned on and
away we went.
It was such a lovely sunny day
when we left London, and we felt
positive that the weather was going
to be good over the weekend.
However, as soon as we hit the M5,
the rain started.
And then it rained, and rained
and rained loads more. In fact it
didn’t stop raining for the rest of
the journey. Our positive outlook
was turning gloomy and we were
dreading the state of the fields
when we got to Glastonbury.
After getting lost in the winding
country lanes, we eventually found
our marker for the camper van site
(by this time it was 10.30pm). It was
still raining. As we followed the
marker to the site, all we could see
Glorious Glasto
There were so many
stages and tents to see -
various acts ranging from
circus performances,
to comedians and DJs.
There were acts walking
around the grounds that
were singing and dancing,
and you could join in
workshops and experience
some for yourself.
16
The Pyramid Stage – where
the main action happens
The flame-throwing bird which got
really angry at every headline act

1717
were wet people with very muddy
wellies. It wasn’t a good sign.
Following the blue marker, we
finally found our site and pulled off
the road into the fields. They had
put lots of boards on the ground
so vehicles wouldn’t get stuck
in the mud, so it wasn’t too bad
driving into the site. The steward
showed us to the parking area and
we finally switched off the engine.
We had made it.
We both felt pretty exhausted.
After we’d tidied up the van and
got organised in our little space,
we had a cuppa and went to sleep,
hoping the next day would look a
lot brighter. By the way, it was still
raining.
The next day we woke up and,
although the sky looked a bit
hazy, there was no rain. We made
some lovely bacon sarnies and had
a look at the timetable for that
day to plan what we would like to
see. There were so many acts and
performances going on, and we
found quite a lot of clashes, so had
to decide who we’d prefer to go
and see. After getting ready (wellies
on, just in case) and packing a bag
of goodies to keep us going (not
mentioning any alcohol), we left
to set foot on the famous Worthy
Farm fields.
The camper van site was on a hill,
with a 20-minute walk to the main
entrance of the festival. As we
came around the corner of the hill,
we were greeted by an amazing
view of the whole of the site – it
was huge! All we could see was
tents, flags, stages, and more tents.
And then the sun came out.
We made our way down to the
entrance, where we were given our
wristband and lanyard to keep our
tickets in. They were very strict
in checking everyone’s ticket/
wristband in case any unscrupulous
fraudsters tried to get in.
And then that was that – time to
explore and enjoy three days of
amazing music and entertainment.
There were so many stages and
tents to see - various acts ranging
from circus performances to
comedians and DJs. There were
acts walking around the grounds
that were singing and dancing, and
you could join in workshops and
experience some for yourself.
After a bit of a wander, we headed
straight for the Pyramid Stage, as
we wanted to see our first act of
the day – Rita Ora. The area was
huge and there were thousands
of people waiting around. We
managed to get through the
initial squeeze of the crowd and
bagged ourselves quite a bit of
space that wasn’t too far from the
stage. Surprisingly, if you make a
bit of effort getting through, you
generally find there is more space
in the middle.
And then the sun really did come
out – it was so hot, the ground
dried up and the jackets came off.
The atmosphere and energy when
Rita Ora came on was amazing. She
had a fabulous stage presence and
really got the crowd going.
The Pyramid Stage – at night
Glastonbury in all its glory
Me, Bejal and the camper van

18
Glorious Glasto
The time went really quickly and,
before I knew it, Professor Green
came on and was doing his thing.
It eventually got to that time when
we had to succumb to using the
toilets in the main festival site.
The toilets by the camper van
site were pretty clean as the only
people using them were those
in our area. But the main festival
toilets were used by thousands
of people, and I have to admit,
the stories are true – they are
horrendous. I don’t want to go into
too much detail, but as you could
probably imagine, they’re not good.
The rest of the festival was brilliant.
The sun shone every day, so no
need for any wellies. We danced
until our feet hurt and even
managed to wangle our way to the
front for some of the acts we saw.
We both came home exhausted,
but really glad we experienced it –
and we’re even talking about going
next year ...
Rita Ora – amazing
singer and crowd
pleaser, sounds just as
good live as she does
on her album.
Professor Green –
not a big fan of Prof
Green, but liked his
energy. Although I
couldn’t really hear
half the things he was
rapping about!
Dizzee Rascal – he
was great, performing
songs from way back
from his Boy in da
Corner album (which I
think is his best stuff).
Fix up, look sharp!
Angel – UK R’n’B
singer, this one was an
early performance, but
the crowd got going
and he sang well live.
Iggy Azalea – crazy
American rapper,
mixture of Lil’ Kim
and Nicki Minaj, she
liked showing off her
back-side a lot for
some reason …
AlunaGeorge – fab
duo from London, an
act to look out for.
Rudimental – Mental
with a capital M. No
need to say anymore.
Nas – the old school
rapper came through
and showed them how
it’s done. It’s all about
the One Mic.
Rolling Stones – The
oldies can still do their
thang, I’m not a Rolling
Stones fan but I was
really impressed with
their stage presence
and energy.
Skream and Benga – if
you like your dubstep
then these guys are for
you. Lots of jumping
around and grimey
bass.
Mumford & Sons – I
found them a bit
boring (sorry to the
Mumford & Sons fans
out there!).
Laura Mvula – amazing
voice and such a
humble performer, a
must-see live act.
Lianne la Havas –same
as Laura, great live
singer. Although I did
notice she changed
her guitar for each
song she sang – maybe
she thought instead
of changing outfits
she would just change
guitars.
Lowdown on some of the acts we saw
Lianne La Havas, Rita Ora, AlunaGeorge and Nas all doing their thing

19
Bun fight!
The humble bread roll surely doesn’t
cause many arguments, does it?
At least it doesn’t until you refer
to it by your preferred regional
word, at which point, it all kicks off.
Thanks to Clement Oke’s review
of a ‘Sunday lunch in a bap’ in the
last edition of inPHOmation, we
have received petitions from the
People’s United Front for Barmcakes
and the Batch Supporters Trust
demanding equal recognition for
their dialectal terms. Clearly, this is
a sensitive issue. inPHOmation is
proposing a vote on the terms listed
below to find a common name we
can all unite behind for this stalwart
member of the bread community.
The term that receives the highest
number of votes will be recognised
as the official PHSO term and
must be used throughout all future
communications. So, no pressure
then …
Barm (cake) – a Lancastrian term,
originally used for a roll made with
the yeasty leftovers of beer-
making, but now a catch-all term.
Bap – perhaps one of the oldest
terms, dating back to the 16th
century. Seems to be widely
understood, though not necessarily
a first-choice term for all.
Batch – claimed by both the Wirral
and Warwickshire, this term comes
from the method of batch-baking
linked breads. Also used to refer to a
type of loaf.
Cob – a claim from the north(ish)
Midlands, derives from the Old
English definition of round or sturdy.
Used by other areas to denote a
crusty roll only.
Bin lid – a bit of a ringer this, it’s a
roll that’s about 20cm (about eight
inches in old money) in diameter,
but still of the same appearance as
the rest of them.
Blaa – an Irish variant, seems to
differ by being more floury.
Breadcake – a Yorkshire term,
apparently. A quick googling reveals
that people are also making cakes
with bread as an ingredient. The
mind boggles.
Bun – a divisive term as you could
get lumbered with the wrong item
in the bakery, but mainly used when
prefixed by a foodstuff (like burger
bun).
Flour cake – according to Wikipedia
(other disreputable online
encyclopedias are available), this
is a term specific to Bolton. Any
Boltonians out there who can
confirm this?
Muffin – a north-Manchester term,
presumably derived from oven-
bottom muffins which has now spilt
over to cover all bread rolls. Another
bakery problem-maker.
Oven cake – suggested during
the editorial board meeting by an
unknown person in Millbank. We
suspect they are the only user of
this term.
Stottie – a north-east term, that
again, appears to have migrated
from its original use. A ‘proper’
stottie should be much denser than
the common or garden bread roll
and appears to be comparable to
the Bin Lid (see above) in size.
Tea cake – unusual in that it has
trans-pennine support, this is the
third on our list that might get you
the wrong item in the bakery.
One, two, three, four.
Dave Riley declares bun war

20
‘Bonjour’, ‘Guten Tag’, ‘Buongiorno’!
I’ve been saying these words a lot
recently (not at the same time
though), as I’ve been fortunate
enough to visit Paris, Berlin and
Florence during July. I like to try and
speak the native language if I can
(GCSEs in French and German were
of help); I think it makes the various
waiting staff/receptionists/shop
assistants/random people in the
street be more helpful and pleasant.
The fact I have to then ask the
person to slow down because I didn’t
understand their response may not
be so impressive!
Since these three cities were high up
on my list of places to see, I thought
I would share my favourite sights/
restaurants with you in case you
fancied trying them yourself (most
are on Trip Advisor too!). I’ve gone for
the more unusual/less obvious places
that you may not have heard about.
1. Paris (fashionable, passionate,
smug)
Shakespeare and Company
(St Germain - 37 rue de la Bûcherie)
– opened in 1951 by a lovely man
called George Whitman, this Aladdin’s
cave of a bookstore is absolutely
delightful. It is full to the brim with
books, and has a piano on the first
floor that you can play whilst others
sit and read, or you can relax on the
scatter cushions and while away a few
hours.
A tale of
three cities
Lydia Thorp likes to
travel about the place
and look at things. This
month, she travelled to
three different places,
and looked at lots of
different things. Read on
and find out where she
went

21
Aquidus id mo veribus
di adit quia di omni-
hicte ommoleste si-
moBunum mo contris
lare con hocrehebem
Berlin – Berliner Dom
Florence – Duomo Florence – Duomo from above Paris – Ponte des Arts bridge

22
Pont des Arts (the pedestrian bridge
across the Seine river) – lovers have
been attaching padlocks onto the
railings with their first names written
on them for years, before throwing
their keys in the river. Take a stroll
over the bridge; whether alone or as
a couple, it is a lovely backdrop for a
photo or two!
2. Berlin (relaxed, functional, cool)
Kreuzberg area – IMA Loft
Apartments on Ritterstrasse. Large
self-catering apartments share the
building with dance studios, design
agencies and a shoe manufacturer ...
very trendy. Don’t expect five-star
service, but do expect understated
style and friendliness.
Bernauer Strasse – this famous
street has many stories to tell, and
you can see and read about the
many escapes from here when
the Berlin Wall was erected along
the street in 1961. A row of houses
became part of the wall, so that
their front and back doors gave
them access to both East and
West Berlin. This was stopped and
windows were boarded up. While
many managed to flee and tell their
story, others unfortunately were
not successful. This is an outside
museum/memorial.
Mauer Park – this public park
area was once part of the Berlin
Wall segregation. There is a flea
market area, as well as green space
with a stone amphitheatre where
thousands of people flock every
Sunday to see performers singing
karaoke and entertaining. This was a
highlight for us.
3. Florence (romantic, beautiful,
cheerful)
For our first wedding anniversary, my
husband and I chose to celebrate in
Florence for three days. Our hotel
wasn’t particularly special (a Best
Western hotel) but it was pretty
central, so we were able to walk
everywhere.
A tale of three cities
Duomo – the highlight of the trip
was climbing the 400+ steps up a
spiral staircase, and through thin
passageways to the top of the
Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore for
fantastic city views. Not for the
claustrophobic!
Uffizi Gallery – if you like a bit
of Renaissance and want to see
Botticelli’s Birth of Venus up close,
then this is the place. The building
alone is remarkable. ‘Uffizi’ means
offices and this building was the
office of the Medici family. There are
so many paintings, ranging from 12th
to 17th century (I think), including
some very famous ones. If you don’t
pre-book tickets online you will
probably have to queue for up to five
hours! You must use the official Uffizi
Gallery website to book tickets (there
are lots of scam websites).
Il Latini restaurant (Via die Palchetti
6/r) – this traditional Tuscan
restaurant was absolutely superb!
There was no menu. The waiter took
us to our table, sat us down and
asked if we would like some antipasti
(prosciutto, melon, cheeses). He
pointed to the two-litre bottle of
chianti on the table and said ‘help
yourself, we charge by the glass’. Four
courses later (including the largest
rack of lamb I have ever eaten!), we
were served biscotti, with dessert
wine to dip into. During the meal
the waiter kept coming over and
pouring us glasses of sweet white
wine. At the end of the fantastic
meal, we requested the bill (il conto,
per favore). The waiter came over,
looked at how much wine was left in
the bottle and came up with a price
… very reasonable indeed! You should
book, as it is busy in the evenings.
Berlin – Berlin TV tower

23
The 2013
People Survey
is almost here
Things are changing , and now
we need to know what you think
about it all.
On 29 July everyone working at
PHSO will be sent an invitation to
take part in a short online survey,
the 2013 People Survey. As things
change, it’s really important we
understand what it is like to work
here. And we need to know what
you honestly think so please be
candid.
We can promise firstly that
the survey will be completely
anonymous, and secondly that we
will act on what you say.
You will have three weeks to make
your views known, as the survey
will be available online between
29 July and 21 August.
We know that you will have good
ideas and suggestions that can
drive the organisation forward,
and we need your contributions
to improve the way that PHSO
operates, especially as we
transition to new ways of working.
Once we have the results, we
will share them with you quickly,
and begin to develop solutions
by working with our Engagement
Champions and Management
Community.
Please add your voice – it might
be the one that really changes
something.

24
Like many people, I sometimes
enjoy getting robbed blind. That’s
why I went to see a film called
World War Z at my local multiplex
cinema this month. The main
reason behind my choice was that
the Z stood for zombie. Like the
undead, I can be found shambling
along the curved corridors of
Millbank Tower before my first
coffee, groaning incoherently and
trying to bite people. Sometimes
the coffee helps ... sometimes it
doesn’t.
Anyhow, Brad Pitt was also in this
film. I have no strong feelings about
Brad Pitt, one way or the other. I
loved him in Fight Club, but he’s
been pretty rubbish in everything
else. He was pretty rubbish in this
film too, playing what looked like
a uninterested version of the actor
Brad Pitt. Apparently, his character
was an expert in what you should
do if everyone in the world turns
into a zombie, so it was a bit of luck
that he was around. At first, Brad
didn’t want to help because the
threat of total human extinction
paled into insignificance when
weighed against a promise made
to his wife that he’d stop this kind
of dangerous work ... in case he got
hurt. In the end, the powers that be
threatened to throw Brad’s family
off a safe boat before he agreed to
do his bit. Thanks, Brad, you’re a real
hero. I’m glad we can rely on you
when zombies start feasting on our
gooey brains.
This was followed by a set of
well executed but badly ordered
cinematic set pieces. There was a
great bit with zombies crawling up
a wall, an exciting bit with zombies
on an aeroplane and a boring bit
with zombies ... in a Welsh hospital.
Brad spent most of the film
popping around the world in
search of implausible expository
dialogue, like a nonsense James
Bond with girl’s hair. Yet despite
all his travelling, no one seemed
to know a damn thing about the
zombies. I enjoyed the first two
thirds of the film, but felt it petered
out too soon before the end. The
plot had more holes in it than Rab
C Nesbitt’s vest, but the CGI was
good and action sequences were
well executed. I won’t spoil the
ending. I don’t need to really, as the
film kind of did that for itself. All I’ll
say is I’m sure the situation could
have been sorted out a lot sooner
with some good, strong coffee.
24
The
idiot’s
film
review
Jason Deacy tells us about a
film that he paid good money
to see. Contains spoilers.

This month you’ll develop the ability to talk
to woodlice. You’ll learn that woodlice are
argumentative and judgmental creatures,
taking issue with everything you say and
do. Eventually, you’ll stop talking to the
woodlice, much to their disdain.
Next Wednesday you’ll win a lifetime’s
supply of Cup-a-Soup. Deciding to make
the most of it, you’ll eat nothing but Cup-
a-Soup for the next three years. You’ll
become addicted, and end up in Cup-a-
Soup rehab. Luckily, it’ll all work out OK.
Mars is in the sky, so this month you’ll
discover that Professor Green’s academic
credentials are a dubious fabrication.
Thinking you know too much, Green will
chase you through London on a pogo
stick. Fortunately, he’ll fall down a hole.
In early August you’ll be diagnosed with
night fever. You’ll experience a mild
kippering of the tie, and slight flaring in the
lower trouser area. Take vitamins between
bouts of boogie and it will soon stop.
This month, you’ll learn that the world is
controlled by a sinister cabal, led by Noel
Edmonds. You’ll try to tell everyone, but
Edmond’s agents will ruin your credibility
by telling people that you collect jam jars.
You’ll end up hiding in Moscow airport,
playing charades with Edward Snowden.
This month you’ll get in a fist-fight with
‘80s TV star Karl Howman over the relative
merits of free-range eggs. You’ll be bested
by Howman, and banned from your local
Sainsbury’s. Let that be a lesson to you!
Later on this week you’ll be confronted
by an angry gang of shoe smiths. Having
targeted you indiscriminately, they’ll berate
and heckle you for several hours about the
decline of their profession, before giving up
and going home.
Nextweek,you’lldiscoverthateveryonebar
youhasheardthatthebirdistheword.You’ll
trytofindoutmoreaboutthisbird,butpeople
willassumeyoualreadyknowandlaughyour
questionsoff.Intheend,you’llhavetoGoogleit.
On Thursday you’ll wake up to discover that
everyone in the world is now called Dennis,
apart from you. To the Dennises, you’ll be
a strange novelty. You’ll go on to enjoy a
fantastic career in television before tiring of
fame, and changing your name to Dennis.
OnTuesday,you’llmakealife-sizedversionof
yourselfoutofLego. You’lluseittoattend
meetingsinyourstead,andpeoplewillcomment
onhowfocusedyouwere.Sooneveryonewillbe
doingit,andnoonewillhavetoattendmeetings
everagain.You’llbehailedasahero.
Next week you’ll dream of San Pedro, just
like you’d never gone, you’ll know the song.
A young girl with eyes like the desert. It’ll
all seem like yesterday, not far away. This
is what comes of eating too much cheese
before bedtime. Try Horlicks instead.
Nothing much will happen to you this month.
You’ll go to work, spend time with family and
see some friends. The bin men will forget to
empty one of your bins, but that’s about it.
Astrology cornerMore mischievous mysticism!
2525

Notting Hill Carnival
Notting Hill
Sun 25 Aug – Mon 26 Aug
Free
Personally, I’m not a big fan of
carnivals. Growing up in Bexhill-
on-Sea, my experience of carnivals
was that of watching a procession
of badly dressed drunk people
struggle to maintain their balance
on the back of lorries. One year,
a man dressed as a clown sprang
from the crowd and scared me
half to death. As an entertainment
spectacle, I have to say I always
found carnivals wanting. They’re
a bit like markets in that regard,
everyone seems to love them but I
think they’re rubbish.
Apparently Notting Hill Carnival
is great, it’s just a shame I can’t
enjoy it. I’m so scarred by my
experiences that it wouldn’t be
possible. Please go along though,
and tell me what it’s like.
Dino Snores for
Grown-Ups
The Natural History Museum
Friday 16 August
£175
Basically, you get a three-course
meal, breakfast and get to
sleep under the skeleton of a
diplodocus. If it was fifty quid I’d
have done it, but this is Kensington
we’re talking about. For £175 I’d
expect the damn thing to come to
life and perform a show, along with
all the other skeletons and fossils.
I’d want to hear classic Hollywood
show tunes, see amazing dance
routines and then eat woolly
mammoth steaks ... cooked by a
tyrannosaurus rex. Now that I’d
pay £175 for, but somehow I don’t
think that’s what they’re offering
here. Go along if you have money
to burn, but I’m sure you can find
better value somewhere else.
Lowry and the Painting of
Modern Life
Tate Britain
26 June – 20 October
£16.50 (£13.10 concs)
Before you think it, I’m not being
paid commission by the Tate. I
just think it’s a shame not to make
the most of it, given it’s right next
door to the office. Lowry’s art
is instantly recognisable. As the
song went, he painted matchstick
men and matchstick cats and
dogs. Documenting the industrial
landscape of early 20th-century
Britain, Lowry’s work represents a
glimpse at a world that has mostly
disappeared. Tate Britain presents
the first public exhibition of its
kind held by a public institution
in London since Lowry’s death. I’ll
definitely pop along and have a
look, and I’d recommend that you
do as well ... if you like this kind of
thing.
by Jason Deacy
What’s on in
London
26

Manchester
Manchester Pride
Big Weekend
Various places around Manchester
23 – 26 August
Day tickets from £10
Weekend ticket from £21
(child tickets available)
Manchester Pride returns over
the month of August, complete
with Pride Fringe, with more than
40 events taking place around the
city over the month. The Parade
happens on Saturday 24 August,
with a theme of ‘Acceptable in
the 80s?’ referencing HIV activism,
the battle over Section 28 and
the iconic music and fashion that
helped define that decade. The
Gay Village will be more lively
than usual, with live bands and DJs,
market stalls and plays. On the
evening of Monday 26, Sackville
Gardens will host a candlelit vigil
to remember those lost to HIV and
to renew commitment to the fight
against it.
Cameron R Scott –
Carvings and Collages
Portico Library, Mosley Street
2 – 31 August
Free
The Portico Library is hosting a
collection of carvings and collages
by Scottish artist Cameron R Scott,
who formerly worked for the
University of Salford and was the
Head of School of Art at Burnley
College. His carvings and collages
form scenes inspired from life,
with the use of 3D in his carvings
creating incredible depth to his
images. Given that this building
almost backs on to The Exchange,
maybe you could take a trip at
lunchtime?
The Abattoir Blues
Festival
Castle Hotel, Oldham Street
24 – 25 August
Weekend tickets £7
Abattoir Blues Records is a
Manchester-based record label, and
they’re putting on a festival over
the bank holiday weekend. Over
20 bands have been announced,
bringing a mix of garage rock,
psychedelic folk and plain old
traditional blues, with a collection
of local acts and a few visitors from
Scotland, Germany and the USA
thrown in. If you like your music
raw and simple, this will be the
place to be.
by Dave Riley
27

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