The document summarizes a presentation on using mindfulness and yoga to help cope with grief and loss. It discusses Buddhist teachings on suffering and mindfulness, provides case studies of individuals who benefited from mindfulness practices after loss, and outlines a proposed 8-week mindfulness and grief group involving meditation, yoga, journaling and other exercises. The presentation emphasizes creating openness, tenderness and awareness to help grieving individuals reduce distress and find meaning after loss.

1. TheTransformative Power of Now
Heather Stang, MA
Author, Mindfulness & Grief
Association for Death Education and Counseling
Annual Conference – April 26, 2014
Baltimore, MD

2. Your PRESENCE is more important
than following the “schedule.”

3. 3 Qualities of Presence
• Wakefulness – Aware of Awareness
• Openness – Allowing Things To Be Just As
They Are, Without Judgment
• Tenderness – Natural Sensitivity, Capacity to
Express Warmth, Compassion
Brach (2012)

4. Find your breath….

5. Allow
By Danna Faulds
Go In And In: Poems from
the Heart of Yoga

6. Case Study #1:The Buddha
• Oldest Son of a Warrior King
• Mother Died in Childbirth
• Destined to be a Powerful Warrior or Spiritual Leader
• Married a Beautiful Princess
• Spoiled & Sheltered Until Mid-Twenties
• Curious, Inner Longing
• Leaves The Palace: Encounters The Four Divine Messengers
– Old Man
– Sick Man
– Corpse
– Wandering Yogi

7. How Can Suffering Be Reduced?
• Overindulgence did not provide the answers
• Starvation and renunciation nearly killed him
• The Middle Way was the answer

8. The MiddleWay
• Doing & Being
• Active Engagement & Passive Disregard
• Focusing & Expanding
• Engaging & Denying

9. The First NobleTruth
Life is has suffering:
• Suffering (dukkha) is common to all of us.
• It does not say that suffering is an absolute,
because there is a way out.

10. The Second NobleTruth
The origin of suffering is attachment to desire.
• Sensory pleasures
• Attaining something
• Getting rid of or losing something

11. TheThird NobleTruth
There is hope…
• We are not stuck with suffering – we can get
rid of dukkha!

12. The Fourth NobleTruth
The Path (Dharma)
1. Wisdom
• Right Understanding & Aspiration
2. Morality
• Right Speech, Action & Livelihood
3. Concentration
• Right Effort, Mindfulness & Concentration

13. Mindfulness Defined
“The awareness that emerges through paying
attention on purpose, in the present moment,
and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of
experience moment to moment.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn (2005)

15. Tara Brach’s “Radical Acceptance”
• The wing of clear seeing: the quality of
awareness that recognizes exactly what is
happening in our moment to moment
experience.
• The wing of compassion: our capacity to relate
in a tender and sympathetic way to what we
perceive.
Brach (2003)

16. How DoWe GetThere?
• Through The Six Doors of the Senses:
– Sight
– Sound
– Smell
– Touch
– Taste
– Thoughts
• Formal and Informal Practice (Planned v.
Spontaneous)

17. The Safe Harbor of the Six Senses
• We can access our sensory awareness in any
moment as a refuge from mental anguish,
even for one precious moment.

18. Yoga Reduces Symptoms of Distress in
Tsunami Survivors in the Andaman Islands
• Evidence-Based Complementary & Alternative
Medicine
• Telles, Naveen, and Dash, 2007
• Survivors of the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami
• One week yogic intervention.
• All participants experienced the loss of family,
friends, and/or their home
• All reported a significant reduction in self-rated
fear, anxiety, sadness, and disturbed sleep after
the one week program.

19. Transpersonal IntegrativeYogaTherapy: A
Protocol for Grief and Bereavement
• International Journal of Yoga Therapy
• Philbin, 2009
• Grieving Adults
• 6 week intervention
• Vitality Plus Scale
• Positive States Scale of the Wilcoxon-Mann-
Whitney test.
• Non-significant, however positive leaning,
improvement in the Satisfaction with Life Scale.

20. Mindfulness Meditation Myths
• You have to be Buddhist
• Guided Imagery / Visualization
• You Can’t Have Thoughts

21. Common Excuses Push Backs
• I am too anxious / high strung / nervous /
stressed out / angry / tired / upset / hurt
• I don’t have time
• It doesn’t work for me
• I’ve tried it, but I’m not good at it

22. Mindfulness is called a “practice”
because you don’t have to do it perfect.
Isn’t that a relief?
Stang (2014)

23. Why Is “Now?” So Important?
• The “Sacred Pause” – Gives us the option to
respond rather than react
• Stress Reduction – Improves our health so we
can focus on healing our heart
• Neuroplasticity – Regular meditation
contributes to new neural pathways in our
brain

24. Whatever you think or do regularly becomes a
habit, a strongly conditioned pathway in the
brain....
By intentionally directing the mind to what is
happening right now, mindfulness deconditions
these pathways and awakens us to a fresh and
intimate sense of being alive.
Brach (2012)

25. Mindfulness is not about
sugar coating pain.

26. Everything is NOT OK
“In the mainstream language of
mindfulness, if you would only change
your thoughts, your grief would
disappear. Any pain or trouble will be
transformed if you think about it right. If
you would only be here now, you would
see that everything is okay, exactly as it is.
That kind of talk is a smack in the face to
someone in deep pain.
Megan Devine
huffpost.com/us/entry/4757042

27. Good Skillful
Bad Unskillful

28. Mindfulness & Grief Group
• Eight Weekly Two Hour Sessions
• One Day Long Silent Retreat
• Daily Home Practice

29. “Mutt Mindfulness”
• Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy
• Kripalu
• Vipassana (Insight) Meditation
• Shambala
• Jon Kabat-Zinn
• Herbert Benson

30. Assess First!
• PTSD – Yoga may be more appropriate, in
combination with a licensed Trauma Therapist
• Dissociative Identity Disorder
• Hallucinations
• Drugs and/or Alcohol
• Intrusive Thoughts

31. Goals Of Mindfulness & Grief
• Ease the physical symptoms of grief
• Calm the mind and help regulate emotions
• Improve awareness of the present moment
• Increase compassion toward self and others
• Meaning making
• Rewrite self narrative

32. HOPE!
Starting With The Body….

33. A Few Physical Benefits
• Lowers Blood Pressure
• Reduces Pain
• Improves Sleep
• Improves Digestion
• Eases Muscle Tension

34. Mindfulness & Grief Themes
1. Mindful Awareness: How to Find Refuge in the
Present Moment
2. Conscious Relaxation: How to Care for Your
Grieving Body
3. Compassion and Forgiveness: Attending to Grief
with Loving-Kindness
4. Skillful Courage: The Dance of Strength and
Vulnerability
• Daylong Retreat: Stillness & Grace: Your Personal
Daylong Retreat

35. Mindfulness & Grief Themes continued
5. Getting Unstuck: Tending to the Five Mental
Hindrances (sensual desire, aversion and ill
will, sleepiness, restlessness and remorse,
skeptical doubt)
6. Meaning Reconstruction: Learning to Live
After Loss
7. Allowing Transformation: Who Am I Now?
8. Perpetual Mindfulness: Creating a Practice
for Life

36. Basic Session Structure - Intro
Enter in Loving Silence
In the Circle:
• Mindfulness Meditation or Brief Body Scan
• Mindful Sharing of “The Headlines”
– Home Practice Accountability
– Weather Report
• Safety Contract
– Physical Edges
– Emotional Edges

37. Case Study #2: Frank &The Edge
• Frank, 62
• Lynn died at 57 from Lung Cancer
• “I knew when she was dying that I wanted to
experience the whole intensity of her loss in
honor of her. In honor of the love I shared
with her. In honor of the love she had for me.”

38. Case Study #2: Frank &The Edge
• “I was looking for the edge to the grief. Not
that I would ever escape the grief, but a way
to contain it or see it objectively and live with
it.”
• Week 8 Journal Entry: “In my daily life I am
centered in my loss but want to find the edge
of this so I can move through life and find Joy
and Happiness. This will happen!”

39. The PlacesThat ScareYou
Most of us do not take the situations as
teachings. We automatically hate them. We run
like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape –
all addictions stem from this moment when we
meet our edge and we just can’t stand it.
Chödrön (2000)

40. Once I accepted the edge, my
need to be doing seemed to
disappear and paradoxically, the
more I accepted my edge, the
more I seemed able to
effortlessly accomplish.
Michael Lee, Founder
Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy
(2010)

41. Basic Session Structure – Centering
On the “cushion”
• Centering Meditation
– Breath
– Body
– Life
– Spirit
• Aspiration / Intention (Mindful Journal Entry)

42. Basic Session Structure - PracticeToolkit
• Guided Relaxation
– Progressive Muscle Relaxation
– Body Scan
• Yoga
• Concentration Meditation
– Relaxation Response (Benson, 1975)
– Counting Exhales
• Mindfulness Meditation
– Breath
– Body
– Sound
• Compassion Meditation (Metta Practice)
• Sitting With Dignity
• Drawing
– Mapping The Body
– Bodyscape
Amy Archinal
New Orleans Yoga Therapy

43. Case Study #3: Mary’s Handscape
• Mary, 47
• Oscar died at 51 in a Glider Crash
• “I had this business plan. I read all the grief
websites. They tell you to make yourself spend
time with your friends. You journal. You do
yoga. You meditate. You do all those things. I
had the list and did them all.”
• Landscape Drawing

44. Case Study #3: Mary’s Handscape
“My first mantra was ‘patience,’ because I felt
like I just had to let things be for a while. And
then I added ‘gratitude’. Because I felt like I had
to become grateful for what I did have with my
husband and all the good things that were still in
my life. Then ‘acceptance’ of just how much my
life had changed. Then ‘forgiveness’ just to
forgive people for what had happened and to
forgive things that happened after his death.”

45. Case Study #3: Mary’s Handscape
“Even though something really bad happens, I
would go back and do absolutely everything
over again. How could I not be grateful for
that?”

46. Basic Session Structure - Integration
• Integration Meditation
• Action Step
• Mindful Journaling

47. Basic Session Structure - Closing
In the Circle:
• Breath Meditation
• Mindful Sharing
– Aspiration, “Nugget” & Action Step
– Affirmation
• Home Practice Review

48. Day Long Retreat Guidelines
• In Loving Silence
• Custody of the Eyes
• Mindful Eating
– Breakfast, Snacks, Water
& Tea Provided
– Retreatants Bring Lunch

49. Day Long Retreat Practices
• Rotating Practices:
– Meditation
– Yoga
– Journaling
– Walking Meditation

50. Walking Meditation
• Limited Segment
– Focus on Stepping
– Focus on Breath
– Left/Right/Left/Right
• Aimless Wandering
• Rain or Shine?

51. Day Long Retreat Closing
• Aspirational Collage
• Partner Yoga
• Break Silence in Dyads
• Closing Circle

52. Metta Prayer of Loving-Kindness
Send Words of Compassion To:
• Self
• Benefactor/Teacher
• Friend
• Neutral Person
• Difficult Person
• All Beings Everywhere

53. MayWe All Be Happy.
MayWe All Know Peace.
MayWe All Be Free From Suffering.
Namaste

54. References & Resources
Benson, Herbert. The Relaxation Response (Avon Books, 2000)
Brach, Tara. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With The Heart Of A Buddha (Bantam Books,
2003)
Brach, Tara. True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart. (Bantam Books,
2013)
Chödrön, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times (Shambhala, 2000)
Faulds, Danna. Go In And In: Poems From The Heart of Yoga (Peaceable Kingdom Books, 2002)
Kabat- Zinn, Jon. Wherever You Go, There You Are : Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life. (Hyperion,
2005)
Kumar, Sameet. Grieving Mindfully. (New Harbinger Publications, 2005)
Lee, Michael. Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy: A Bridge From Body To Soul (Health Communications, 1997)
Neimeyer, Robert A. Lessons Of Loss: A Guide To Coping. (Center of the Study of Loss & Transition,
2006)
Rinpoche, Sogyal, Patrick Gaffney, and Andrew Harvey. The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying
(HarperCollins Publishers, 1993)
Rogers, J. Earl. The Art Of Grief: The Use Of Expressive Arts In A Grief Support Group. (Routledge, 2007)
Stang, Heather. Mindfulness And Grief: With Guided Meditations To Calm Your Mind And Restore Your
Spirit (CICO Books, 2014)

55. The 8-Week GuideTo Life After Loss
Featuring Over 35 Exercises, Including:
• Meditation
• Yoga
• Journaling
• Expressive Arts
• Inspirational Stories
Available on AMAZON.COM and in your local
Barnes & Noble Bookseller. Signed copies available at
MindfulnessAndGrief.com/book.
By Heather Stang, M.A.
Published By CICO Books
Listen to Sample Guided Meditations at
MindfulnessAndGrief.com

56. About Heather Stang, MA
• Survivor of Suicide
• Suicide Prevention & Research
• Certified Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy Practitioner &
Mindfulness Meditation Instructor at the Frederick
Meditation Center in Maryland
• Thanatologist (Hood College M.A.) & ADEC Member
• Developed an 8 Week Yoga For Grief Class, now the
Mindfulness & Grief Group, which inspired the book.
Learn more at MindfulnessAndGrief.com or contact
Heather at info@mindfulnessandgrief.com.