Pulled together a few DevOps memes for the DevOps @ EMC World event, May 3rd in Las Vegas.

1. 1© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

2. 2© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BRING ME THE DEV AND THE OPS
TEAMS. THEY WILL ALL SUFFER
FOR THIS OUTAGE.

3. 3© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY
I KNOW WHERE THE LOGS ARE
LOCATED, AND I WILL USE THEM
AGAINST YOU.

4. 4© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DUDE, WHERE’S MY
CONFIG FILE?

5. 5© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
AND I THOUGHT,
OH LORD! THEY
STILL DEPLOY
MANUALLY.

6. 6© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WE’LL DO THAT POST-MORDEM
RIGHT AFTER I CHANGE MY SHOES

7. 7© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM…
DEVOPS 3.6 ISN’T COVERED IN
OUR ENTERPRISE ELA.

8. 8© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
60% OF THE TIME
DEPLOYMENTS WORK
EVERYTIME!

9. 9© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FEATURES FALL OUT ALL THE TIME.
SOFTWARE IS AN IMPERFECT PLACE.

10. 10© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

11. 11© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ANY OF YOU DEVS
TOUCH MY NETWORK…
…AND I’LL KILL YOU

12. 12© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ANDY CRAWLED THRU 300 PAGES
OF THE FILTHIEST DOCS…
THE LIKES OF WHICH I CAN ONLY
IMAGINE

13. 13© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU KNOW CONTAINERS
AREN’T NEW
JUST THOUGHT I’D MENTION IT

14. 14© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THAT RIGHT THERE IS MUCK!
THERE IS A TREMENDOUS
BUILD UP OF TECHNICAL DEBT

15. 15© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH
HERE IS A COMPLETE LACK OF
RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY

16. 16© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU’RE GOING INTO PRODUCTION
WITH A TOOL CALLED PIG?

17. 17© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU CAN CENTRALIZE MY CONFIGS
BUT DON’T TAKE MY STAPLER

18. 18© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HUGOPS IS UNCOMFORTABLE?
YOU MAD BRO?

19. 19© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BEEROPS, EH?

20. 20© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
READY FOR THE
STANDUP

21. 21© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BRO, THAT’S NOT APPROPRIATE
FOR A DAILY STANDUP

22. 22© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
APPS ARE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT OPS IS
GONNA GET

23. 23© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEPLOY FROM SCRIPT, VERY BAD. GO
TO THE BOX, 2 MINUTES, YOU FEEL
SHAME. THEN YOU FREE.

24. 24© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
COME TO THE
DARK SIDE
WE HAVE
GANTT CHARTS

25. 25© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE GREATEST
TRICK THE DEVIL
EVER PULLED, WAS
MAKING US
BELIEVE THAT
DEPLOYING APPS
WAS EASY

26. 26© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

27. 27© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I SHOULD LEARN DEVOPS

28. 28© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT I’M DOING

29. 29© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SO ME, ANDREW CLAY SHAFER
AND PATRICK DEBOIS…
…WERE SITTING AROUND
INVENTING DEVOPS

30. 30© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
OH, WE’VE GOT BOTH KINDS…
DEVS AND OPS
WHAT KIND OF “IT” DO WE HAVE
HERE?

31. 31© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I REMEMBER WHEN MY DAD
TALKED TO ME ABOUT DEVOPS

32. 32© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HOW OLD ARE YOU McLOVIN?
OLD ENOUGH TO DEVOPS

33. 33© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DON’T DO DEVOPS, KID.
YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT.

34. 34© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NO SECURITY IN
YOUR DEVOPS?

35. 35© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG
DAY TO STOP DEVOPS’ING

36. 36© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

37. 37© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ARE THE DEVOPS SCARY?

38. 38© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS…
I LOVE YOU,
YOU LOVE ME,
WE’RE A GREAT BIG FAMILY

39. 39© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THERE’S NO CRYING IN
DEVOPS!

40. 40© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ARE YOU INHIBITED ABOUT
DEPLOYING IN PUBLIC?

41. 41© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IF YOU’VE
EVER DUCT
TAPED
SCRIPTS
TOGETHER
YOU MIGHT BE A
DEVOPS
REDNECK

42. 42© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHAT YOU TALKING BOUT
JOHN WILLIS?

43. 43© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
EPHEMERALS INSTANCES. DEVS AND OPS
LIVING TOGETHER. MASS HYSTERIA!!

44. 44© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
AND CALL THE VIDEO…
“JIMMY KIMMEL, I TOLD MY BOSS
THAT WE’RE STARTING A DEVOPS
TEAM”

45. 45© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE 1ST RULE OF DEVOPS CLUB
IS TO CONTINOUSLY DEPLOY
INTO PRODUCTION

46. 46© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
USE CONFIG MANAGEMENT
AND AVOID MAYHEM…
LIKE ME!

47. 47© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
OVER? THE DEPLOYMENT’S OVER?
NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL
WE SAY IT IS!

48. 48© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SHOW ME, VAGRANT UP

49. 49© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEPLOY EARLY AND OFTEN
PUSH IT, PUSH IT REAL GOOD!!

50. 50© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FELLAS, COME ON. THE DEVOPS
NEEDS MORE COWBELL!

51. 51© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS CULTURE – BE NICE TO
TEAMMATES

52. 52© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DO YOU HAVE A PAY PHONE
NEARBY? PAGERDUTY JUST
CALLED.

53. 53© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME UNLESS
IT’S ON SLACK!

54. 54© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

55. 55© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS
IS COMING
BRACE YOURSELF

56. 56© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IT’S CALLED THE
TEST AND SHIP
WORKS
EVERY TIME

57. 57© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BYE GOLDEN IMAGE!

58. 58© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS
DEVOPS EVERYWHERE

59. 59© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
• DIP
• DUCK
• DODGE
• DEVOPS
• DIVE

60. 60© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE DEVOPS IS NICE! YES?

61. 61© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LEARN TO DEVOPS AND
BE SOMEBODY!

62. 62© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I LOVE
BEARDED
PEOPLE!!

63. 63© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS – SO HOT RIGHT NOW!

64. 64© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I CAN’T HELP
THAT PEOPLE
ARE JEALOUS
OF ME BECAUSE
I AUTOMATE
ALL OF THE
THINGS

65. 65© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHEN BUSINESS IS
SLOW, I SPRINKLE
DEVOPS ON IT AND
BE AWESOME INSTEAD
TRUE STORY…

66. 66© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
10 DEPLOYS A DAY!!

67. 67© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU USING
CHEF?
CHEF, PUPPET,
WHATEVER IT TAKES

68. 68© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DUDEOPS

69. 69© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DIESELOPS

70. 70© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD
I DON’T THINK IT MEANS WHAT
YOU THINK IT MEANS

71. 71© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY
GO FULL DEVOPS

72. 72© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FINALLY,
DEVOPS IS
ABOVE THE
LAW

73. 73© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SAY IT 3
TIMES!
DEVOPS
DEVOPS
….
DEVOPS!

74. 74© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SAY DEVOPS
ONE MORE TIME

75. 75© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

76. 76© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
RED, I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN
GET DEVOPS DONE.
DO YOU KNOW ANYONE LIKE THAT?

77. 77© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS? TRUST ME, I’M A
PROFESSIONAL.

78. 78© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPPULENCE?
I HAS IT

79. 79© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IMMORTALITY JUST 6 LETTERS
AWAY
D-E-V-O-P-S

80. 80© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I WANT TO ANNOUNCE MY DEVOPS
PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY!!

81. 81© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
EVERY SERVER DIES. BUT NOT EVERY
SERVER TRULY LIVES. APPS HAVE
BEEN GIVEN NOTHING. DEVOPS
MAKES THEM WHAT THEY TRULY ARE.

82. 82© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WE’RE GONNA MAKE THE OPS TEAM AN
OFFER THEY CAN’T REFUSE

83. 83© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WORKED FINE IN DEV
OPS PROBLEM NOW

84. 84© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LET’S JUST DROP A TINY LITTLE
LOAD BALANCER IN THERE. JUST
LIKE THAT.

85. 85© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THEY WANTED MORE AGILITY,
SO WE SOLD THEM $2M IN TOOLS

86. 86© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
CHAIRS! GOTTA GET CHAIRS IN
THE NEXT DEVOPS TOOLS ELA!

87. 87© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DEVOPS,
NAPOLEAN?
WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT! GOSH!

88. 88© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I DON’T ALWAYS DEPLOY TO
PRODUCTION
BUT WHEN I DO… LMAO, WHO AM
I KIDDING, I ALWAYS DO

89. 89© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I LIKE TO PARTY AND I
WANT MY DEVOPS TO PARTY

90. 90© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

91. 91© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS IF
WE HAVE TO WAIT

92. 92© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WEBSCALE?
WE’RE GONNA NEED MORE
DEVOPS

93. 93© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FIRED YOUR EXISTING TEAM AND
REPLACED THEM WITH A DEVOPS
TOOL?
THAT MUST BE GOING WELL

94. 94© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU
LIKE DEVOPS
SO I PUT DEV IN YOUR OPS SO YOU
CAN DEV WHEN YOU OPS

95. 95© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
JUMP THIS DEVOPS HATERS!

96. 96© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NO DEVOPS IN THE 1960’s
SO HOW ABOUT A SCOTCH?

97. 97© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SO WHAT?
SO LET’S DEVOPS!

98. 98© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS
BUT DEVOPS AIN’T ONE

99. 99© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A
DEVOPS

100. 100© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.