2. For many,
blaming
themselves is a
way of explaining
the violence they
BRIS Offices
are subjected to.
Riksförbundet BRIS
(National Association)
Karlavägen 121
SE-115 26 Stockholm
Tel: +46 (0)8-598 888 00
Fax: +46 (0)8-598 888 01
E-mail: info@bris.se
BRIS region Nord
(Northern Region)
Kungsgatan 36
SE-903 25 Umeå
Tel: +46 (0)90-203 65 10
Fax: +46 (0)90-203 65 11
E-mail: bris.nord@bris.se
BRIS region Väst
(Western Region)
Hvitfeldtsgatan 14
SE-411 20 Göteborg
Tel: +46 (0)31-750 11 30
bris – Children’s rights in society – is an ngo, a voluntary
organisation with no party political or religious affiliation,
which supports children and young people in distress and is a link
Content
between children, adults and the community. This BRIS report is not a translation of the entire Swedish report. With regard to this
Fax: +46 (0)31-750 11 31
E-mail: bris.vast@bris.se year’s theme and the expected readers, we have chosen to translate the articles
The core of bris’ activities is comprised of the Children’s Helpline, bris- concerning abuse, communication with children and international efforts.
BRIS region Mitt
(Central Region)
mail and the bris-chat, to which children and young people up to the
Karlavägen 121 age of 18 can turn anonymously and free-of-charge when they need
SE-115 26 Stockholm
Tel: +46 (0)8-598 888 10
support from an adult. bris also works as an opinion maker and referral
Fax: +46 (0)8-598 888 11 organisation to increase adults’ respect for children as individuals. bris
E-mail: bris.mitt@bris.se
works for the full application of the principles established in the un
BRIS region Syd
(Southern Region)
Convention of the rights of the Child. bris uses its collective knowledge
of the situation of children and young people to inform, influence and
4 2009 is an
important year 21 Adults’ responsibility
to dare to see abuse
Östra Rönneholms- for BRIS
vägen 7 create opinion in children’s rights issues at various levels. bris also
24 BRIS’ Discussion
Forum – an oasis
7 Courage &
SE-211 47 Malmö
Tel: +46 (0)40-690 80 70
accepts calls from adults who need someone to talk to about their own
Fax: +46 (0)40-690 80 71 or other’s children. strength in the in the middle of the
E-mail: bris.syd@bris.se contact with darkness
bris was founded in 1971 and is organised as one national and five regional BRIS
26 International
BRIS region Öst
(Eastern Region) offices. These are located in Malmö, Göteborg, Norrköping, stockholm
Korsgatan 2, Hus E and Umeå. bris’ activities are based on volunteer work and financial Cooperation
SE-602 33 Norrköping
Postal address:
SE-601 86 Norrköping
grants and donations from both private and public donors. bris has a
total of about 600 volunteer workers who man the Children’s Helpline,
10 Shield that
obstructs help
provides guidance
for the future
Tel: +46 (0)11-440 05 50
Fax: +46 (0)11-440 05 51 bris-mail and the bris-chat. These volunteers are recruited, trained and
supervised by employed bris personnel. The bris Adult Helpline – about
15 Talking – a first
E-mail: bris.ost@bris.se
Children is usually manned by employed bris representatives and costs step towards
as much as a regular phone call. change
The Children’s Helpline The BRIS-mail, The BRIS-chat,
– for those up to age 18.
0200-230 230
Foras
www.bris.se
18 The forgotten
children
Monday to Friday:
3:00 pm – 9:00 pm The BRIS-mail provides per-
Saturday, Sunday and holidays: sonal answers within a few
3:00 pm – 6:00 pm days.
The BRIS-Chat provides real
BRIS Adult Helpline time 1-to-1-chat.
– about Children In the Discussion Forum, Publisher BRIS, Barnens Rätt I Editor Cecilia Nauclér/Peter Irgens Illustrations Lena Sjöberg/Söderberg
077-150 50 50 which is also on BRIS.se, Samhället (Children’s Rights In Society) Art director Helena Lunding Agentur, Yusuke Nagano
Monday to Friday: children and young people Address BRIS-tidningen, Karlavägen Text Maja Aase, Mette Hultgren, Responsible editor Göran Harnesk,
10:00 am – 1:00 pm can communicate with each 121, SE-115 26 Stockholm, Sweden Cecilia Nauclér, Gunnar Sandelin and Secretary General, BRIS
other under the oversight of Editorial committee Cecilia Nauclér, Åsa Wallentin
an adult moderator. Jenny Ingårda, Peter Irgens, Karin English translation Semantix
tel +46(8)-598 888 00
www.bris.se Johansson, Thomas Jonsland, Eva Photo Johan Bergling, Martin
PG 901504-1 Stenelund and Eva Waltré Magntorn, Anna Rehnberg
3. text Cecilia Naucler
photo Anna Rehnberg
Thanks to the children’s and young people’s child contacts, the bris-mail for 36.7% and the
accounts, bris can also provide decision-makers bris-chat for 3.7%.
with information about what the children them- The number of e-mails to bris decreased
selves seek from the adult world to be able to somewhat during the year compared with the
change a difficult living situation. previous year, while the number of supportive
bris’ objective is also to provide professio- calls through the Children’s Helpline increased
nals and other adults with guidance in how they and the submissions posted
should act to be able to help and support victimi- on the bris Forum doubled
2009
I LOVE BRIS!! YOU MEAN SO
sed children, based on the needs of the children in 2008. Furthermore, the MUCH TO ME! I DON’T KNOW
and young people. Therefore, we publish the bris number of attempts to call WHAT I WOULD DO IF I DIDN’T
HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
report and we hope that it will provide the in- the Children’s Helpline in- ALL LOVE AND RESPECT TO ALL
sight into the world of children and young people creased by 29%. The bris- OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE AT
necessary for the adult world to react and want chat, where children and BRIS WHO DO SUCH A FAN-
TASTIC JOB! :D
to change. young people can chat direc- (From “Say what you think!”
tly with bris, started in 2007 on bris.se)
2008 as a pilot project and became
is an important
in 2008, bris had 21,848 documented suppor- a permanent channel in bris’
tive contacts with children and young people support services for children and young people
from the Children’s Helpline, the bris-mail and in autumn 2008. in light of its brief period of
year for BRIS the bris-chat. This was an increase of 2% com-
pared with 2007. in terms of percentages, the
Children’s Helpline accounted for 59.6% of the
operation, a remarkably high proportion of
children and young people have contacted bris
through the bris-chat.
The 20 most common contact Number % of % of 2007 % % % Gender distribution in
topics of 2008 of child child child Children’s BRIS- BRIS- child contacts 2008
contacts contacts contacts Helpline chat mail
Girls/Boys – 77/23
F
Friends 4 981 22,8% 19% 22,2% 28,2% 23,2% Average age in
or nearly 40 years, bris has worked for Fear/anxiety 4 424 20,2% 18,9% 16,1% 22,8% child contacts 2008
children to have a better life and their needs Family conflicts 4 146 19,0% 21% 18,1% 20,0% 20,3% 14,3 years
to be met based on the child’s own perspec- School 3 540 16,2% 7,5% 18,0% 18,9% 13,1%
tive. An incredibly important part of these efforts Love 3 397 15,5% 15% 14,3% 12,9% 17,8%
was bris’ lobbying efforts for legislation against Loneliness 3 168 14,5% 14% 13,6% 17,0% 15,7%
corporal punishment, a goal that was fulfilled in Bullying 3 008 13,8% 14% 17,2% 10,9% 8,5%
1979 when sweden became the first country in Existential/life issues 2 038 9,3% 9,9% 8,5% 7,0% 10,5%
the world to ban violence against children. Other mental illness 2 010 9,2% 12% 6,1% 12,4% 14,3%
However, even though using violence against Sorrow 1 977 9% 7,8% 8,9% 10,1% 9,1%
children has been banned in sweden for 30 ye- Physical abuse 1 857 8,5% 7,5% 10,5% 6,6% 5,5%
ars, children and young people still contact bris Identity development 1 826 8,4% 8,1% 6,8% 5,7% 11,1%
because they have been abused. in 2008, 8.5% Sex 1 798 8,2% 6,4% 8,5% 2,4% 7,6%
Suicide/thoughts of suicide 1 736 7,9% 9,3% 5,8% 10,7% 11,9%
of the contacts concerned physical abuse and ne-
Living arrangements 1 611 7,4% 6,6% 8,1% 7,7% 6,2%
The Swedish ban on corporal punishment is arly 4% were about psychological abuse. Conse- Because every
Body/appearance 1 584 7,3% 7.0% 6,1% 5,8% 9,3% call/e-mail/chat
celebrating its 30th anniversary and the UN quently, bris is continuing its efforts against vio- can deal with more
Self-destructiveness 1 541 7,1% 9,1% 4,4% 12,9% 10,7%
lence against children and this work, combined than one topic
Convention on the Rights of the Child is celebrating Divorced parents 1 464 6,7% 4,3% 7,2% 7,5% 5,8% and all of these are
with the 30th anniversary of the ban on corporal Sexual abuse/molestation 1 423 6,5% 6,2% 7,6% 7,5% 4,6% documented, the
its 20th anniversary. Both are extremely important punishment, means that the bris report 2009 total percentage
Stress 1 293 5,9% 5,2% 5,3% 8,1% 6,8%
to BRIS, in part because BRIS was involved in the will largely focus on physical and psychological n=21 848 n=21 401 n=13 014 n=805 n=8 029
exceeds 100%.
creation of the ban on corporal punishment and in abuse.
Supportive, documented child contacts
However, the corporal punishment ban is not
part because the UN Convention on the Rights of 1999-2008
the year’s only anniversary, 20 years have also Year BHT BM BC BK
the Child is an important guide for us in our work for passed since the adoption of the un Convention 1999 14 341 14 341
The child’s living conditions
Nuclear family 54,5%
children’s rights. However, the major question is if the on the rights of the Child, which is also an im- 2000 17 431 608 18 039
Lone mother 15,4%
corporal punishment ban and the UN Convention portant guide in bris’ efforts to strengthen the 2001 17 150 2 208 19 358
Both parents alternately 8,7%
rights of children in society. Under the Conven- 2002 18 348 4 675 23 023 Lone father 6,9%
on the Rights of the Child today give children and 2003 16 008 6 036 22 044
tion, the best interests of the child shall always Step family 5,9%
young people the protection they are intended to go first. However, reality often differs from that
2004 14 450 7 683 22 133 Own housing 2,0%
2005 10 778 8 459 19 237 Fosterhome1,6%
give. Consequently, BRIS has chosen to focus the BRIS stated in the rules of the Convention, and our 2006 11 588 9 685 21 273 Treatment centre or equivalent 1,2%
Report 2009 on these anniversaries, based on what contacts with children and young people show 2007 11 551 9 797 53 21 401 Other 3,8%
that society all too often fails in providing child- 2008 13 014 8 029 805 21 848
children and young people say themselves.
ren and young people the support they are entit-
led to under the Convention. BK Child contacts
bris has conducted an in-depth analysis of BHT Children’s Helpline
BM The BRIS-mail
BC The BRIS-chat
2009 • the BRIS report 4 5 the BRIS report • 2009
4. physical abuse
text Cecilia Nauclér
the un convention on the photo Johan Bergling
rights of the child
Most children who contact BRIS because they are abused by one
or both parents. The abuse takes place in the home, which makes it
difficult to discover. The children still love their parents and the fear of
being placed in a foster home or nobody believing what they have
experienced makes it difficult for the children to tell and seek help.
CouRAGe
Article 19, §1. States Parties shall
take all appropriate legislative,
&STReNGTH
administrative, social and
educational measures to protect the in the contact with BRIS
child from all forms of physical or
mental violence, injury or abuse,
neglect or negligent treatment,
maltreatment or exploitation,
including sexual abuse, while
“F
in the care of parent(s), legal rom the child contacts i have studied, consciousness; they are locked in
guardian(s) or any other person many live with a constant fear of be- the cellar, or are sprayed with hot
ing beaten. For some, this fear is based water.
who has the care of the child. on not knowing if it will happen again, others The child is often also
live knowing that mum or dad will drink at the insulted verbally during the
weekend and then i will be beaten,” says Andreas abuse, being called a whore
Thander, bris representative. or hearing that “nobody
Andreas Thander and Jenny ingårda, Project loves you” or “you are com-
Coordinator at bris, conducted an in-depth re- pletely worthless”.
view of parts of bris’ documentation of the child The abuse takes place in
contacts concerning physical abuse in 2008, the home and the father is
comprising slightly more than 300 calls and e- commonly the abuser. it also
mails each. happens that both parents are
“There is no pattern to the abuse, it can occur perpetrators or that the mother,
whenever, on any day of the week and the child a step-father or a boyfriend is the
can never feel safe,” says Jenny ingårda. abuser. The one parent also often
The violence the children and young people knows that the other is abusive,
are subjected to can be described as ranging but chooses not to say or
from routine everyday violence, where they are do anything.
beaten with objects such as belts, canes or fists, “For the child,
to more torture-like violence. some children say this is a sig-
that they are shaken and beaten until they lose nal that the
2009 • the BRIS report 6 7 the BRIS report • 2009
5. physical abuse physical abuse
CONVERSATIONS MAKE A dIFFERENCE
parent that hits him or her is not doing anyth- “When i read the children’s accounts, it became the person that he or she is talking with at bris
ing wrong, which makes it difficult for the child clear how alone they feel they are. They have diffi- will make a report, because this is most often
to seek help although he or she feels that the culty in seeing a way out, and ultimately become not what the child wants to happen. instead he
abuse cannot be right,” says Jenny ingårda. their own counsellor,” says Andreas Thander. or she wants to tell about his or her situation
Outside the walls of the home, the vast majo- as a first step, Jenny ingårda explains. Many
Tries to understand rity are silent. One of the reasons hesitate to contact their school counsellor or
in many cases, a large part of For many, that children do not tell is the another adult, because they have heard stories of
the abused children’s life is spent blaming fear of what would happen with what can happen if they do.
trying to understand what is hap- their siblings if they did. some “For example, the child may have a friend
pening. For many, blaming them- themselves is a take on the abuse so that others who has told the school counsellor about his or
selves is a way of explaining the way of explaining in the family will not be beaten her situation and the counsellor has in turn con-
violence they are subjected to. the violence they and reason that “it won’t get bet- tacted the parents, which has led to the friend’s
“A child said in a call to bris ter if i tell, at least now it’s only situation becoming worse. The conversation
‘now i understand why dad hits
are subjected to. me being hit”. may also have led to the friend being placed in
me, because he said that he doesn’t “Others have been threatened a foster home, and this is not what the child
love me’,” says Andreas Thander. with being placed in foster homes if they tell. be- contacting bris wants. it is too large a step,” she
The children speak of parents with problems cause it would mean that they could not see their says.
with alcohol or substance abuse, parents with siblings, it results in the child doing everything However, what the child wants is to tell an
psychological problems or parents under a great to keep the family together,” explains Jenny in- adult that can handle listening to the story and
deal of stress. “For example, the family may have gårda. the entire conversation. They want the adults to
financial troubles because of unemployment, continue to ask, continue to be inquisitive, even
which affects the entire family,” continues Jenny Not taken seriously though the child might be crying. For the child,
ingårda. “Adults who would not usually think of some of the children have tried to tell an adult it is not important to find an adult who can set
“dad pushed a rag in my
hitting their children also end up in situations they know about the abuse. This can be a family everything right, but rather to be believed. sister’s mouth and beat her “My dad has hit me my
that they cannot control. A great deal of frustra- member or an adult outside the family. However, until she confessed” entire life. I’ve told some
tion and anger spills over onto the children.” the children have not been believed or taken se- Conversations make a difference adults I know, but they don’t
“i remember that dad hit me believe me. When my mates
“The children still love their parents and de- riously, which has led to the children’s attempts “The conversation has nearly a magical effect on a so hard in my stomach and ask how I’m doing, I can’t be
fend the parents if an outsider says something to find more help from other adults have been child who has not previously had the opportunity that i got so scared that i wet bothered to explain, so I lie
negative about them.” cut short. to tell,” says Andreas Thander. myself. Since i was 6, he’s hit and say that everything is
me, pushed me up against OK. Otherwise it will just get
The children and young people try to handle “The children are naturally disappointed, silent “Neither we nor the the wall and everything” even worse, says mum.”
their living situation in different ways. some of and dejected by nobody listening. Yet, they still child know for sure
the children react to the violence by seeking con- continue to hope that somebody will discover
The Internet what will happen if “I don’t have the strength to “They will just start an investi-
stant affirmation from adults. They try to “be the that they feel bad, that someone will ask and has become a the child chooses to be silent any more, I have to
tell somebody. Dealing with
gation that will certainly
make things worse.”
best children possible so that their parents can care,” explains Andreas Thander. tool where you can be tell, but together, we everything I’ve experienced
be proud of them” as Jenny ingårda expresses For many children who contact bris is hard on my own.” “Hate to be with dad when
anonymous and meet can look for different he’s drinking, I’m scared. He
it. some devote all their energy to school work about abuse, the call or e-mail is ways to go to find sup-
since they receive recognition and obtain peace the first step towards change.
others in the same port and help,” he ex- “I wish that I dared to tell so-
hits me and my sister when
he’s drunk, which is often.”
and quiet. For some, a comforting pet can be a The vast majority have wai- situation. plains. meone, but it’s not easy, the
tears come the whole time. “Now I know why dad hits
lifeline, while others become aggressive and act ted a long time to get in if the child wants I’ve got so many hard things me. Because when he’s
out. For many, the internet has become a way to touch with bris and have it, a bris representative can call the social servi- to deal with” drunk he has said that he
handle their sorrow. often thought about a so- ces in the child’s home municipality to find out doesn’t love me.”
“I don’t want dad
“The internet has become a tool where you can lution themselves. Con- what steps they would take if the child chooses to hit me any more. “I do things I
be anonymous and meet others in the same situa- tacting bris is taking to tell about the abuse. Then the child can digest I just want a normal shouldn’t with
tion. On the internet, you can find comfort and the first step to ma- the consequences that telling will entail before dad. Sometimes, myself, but I can’t
he’s really nice, but handle it any more.
encourage others,” says Jenny ingårda. king the family secret going further. just a little while I’ve cut myself
Not everyone manages to have the strength public, a step that is so Even though the children are often in very ago he hit me.” although I don’t
needed to keep up in school or to build friend- large that it first has to vulnerable and serious situations, there is still an actually want to.
“He’s hit me my Now, it feels as if I
ships. The bruises are hidden with clothes and by be tested with somebody enormous strength and hope there. The mere fact entire childhood. just want to die.”
not participating in physical education at school. the child can be that children are so brave that they dare contact Whenever, but
Anxiety is deadened by hurting themselves in dif- a n o n y m o u s bris is something that both Andreas Thander mostly when I “I hold my hands
disagree. He has under hot water
ferent ways. Many lie about what their situation with. and Jenny ingårda are in awe of. a poor vocabulary and to avoid the tears and the
is like to their friends and never take their friends The child “some children have talked with both their cannot defend himself when anxiety.”
home, since they do not know what it will be like need not be school counsellor and the social services, but no- we argue. When he feels like
he’s in a weak position, he “Although I love dad, I’m
at home from day to day. afraid that thing has happened. Yet, they do not give up, but hits me.” afraid of going home. I saw
ring us and ask us to mediate their needs. These when my little sister was bea-
children have an unbelievable strength that is “Mum says that I’m not ten by dad and have since
Physical abuse loveable and hits me when then had a lump in my belly.
beyond the usual,” Jenny ingårda confirms. she’s down herself” Do you think it can happen
4In 2008, 1,857 child contacts with BRIS concerned physical abuse.
This was 8.5% of all contacts, a minor increase from last year.
2009 • the BRIS report 8 9 the BRIS report • 2009
6. physical abuse physical abuse
When victimised children and young people seek help, a shield often arises that
4 From the dIscussIon Forum
makes it more difficult and prevents the child from getting the help that he or she
needs. One way to get around the problem is to ask the right questions and listen Main submission
to the child’s account carefully. Hi, I’m abused by my parents
and social services refused
text Mette Hultgren to do anything about it when
Johan Bergling cus of previous investigations or who have heard the parents. Here, the professional must get the I told. I’m abused by some
SHIELD
photo
guys at school too. I’m tired
about the mandatory reporting from friends. child’s help to provide a guide as to whether one of it and cut myself to feel
should call home to the parents or not. better, but it doesn’t work…
Contradicting pictures “A great deal that is intended to help is done I’m gonna kill myself soon
if I don’t end up at a foster
Like the children, the parents often feel shame over the child’s head. it is very unpleasant for the home cause if somebody
over not managing the parental role and there- child who feels that he or she loses control over talks to my parents they don’t
fore acting to protect the family secret. The pa- what will happen,” says Karin Johansson. care, they like couldn’t be
bothered and get more and
rents can contribute to the shield by explaining she believes that a lack of experience and more aggressive and hit me
how reality looks from a perspective completely knowledge are underlying factors, that the per- more and more what am I
different from the child’s. Often, one wants to son who is to help the child finds it difficult to un- gonna do? is there nobody
that can take me from my fa-
hide the difficulties that exist in a family. in their derstand that the child may have a difficult time. mily?? or do i have to kill my-
contacts with bris, several children say that they Moreover, the view of the child’s situation can self before they understand
feel that their parents distort the truth and are often be obscured by the parents’ description. that it’s serious?? or end up at
hospital??please write !!
nice, for example, to the social workers. some
that obstructs help children say that they do not dare tell the social
services or child psychiatric services about their
situation because of threats or pressure from their
Language gets in the way
Another obstacle is that the person meant to help
the child does not always understand how serious
parents. it is once the child has tried to describe his or her
“At home, the child often hears that what hap- living situation in his or her own words.
pens at home should stay within the family. some “The child feels that he or she has told what it is
parents directly threaten beatings or restricted like, but that it has not been perceived as being so
I
n BRIS’ contacts with children and young rights if the child tells an outsider about what serious by the helper. For example, some children
A great deal that is
people, it becomes apparent that there are various happens in the home,” says Karin Johansson. can say that “mum is mean” or “dad is angry”.
obstacles, kind of a shield between the child and intended to help is done sometimes the children indicate that they Mean or angry can describe just about any parent,
the person he or she is seeking help from that makes over the child’s head. It feel that the parent and helper are on the same but the words may conceal a form of very serious
it more difficult, obstructs or reduces the possibilities is very unpleasant for the child side, leaving the child on the outside, which also victimisation,” says Karin Johansson.
of giving the right help. The child, the person meant who feels that he or she loses builds up obstacles that make it difficult for the she emphasizes that the obstructing shield
to help and the parents all contribute to building up child to dare to tell. looks roughly the same regardless of the type of
this shield in different ways. control over what will happen. in contacts with bris, several children also say victimisation involved. Overcoming the obsta- Response
“All children, just like adults, feel a natural resis- that they have not had the opportunity to talk in cles demands both that those who are to help the Hey Sweetie. How awful, I’m
crying that you should have
tance to seeking help and talking about a vulnerable private with the social worker at social services or children are aware of the various obstacles and to have it like this, yeah, it’s
existence. but when the children need to seek help, the counsellor at child psychiatric services, for ex- that they also have tools that they can use. true, I would like to be by your
they often feel that they are not being listened to ample, and have therefore not dared to tell about “i think, for example, that one needs to have side and protect you from
your parents. You are valua-
or believed,” says Karin Johansson, investigator at the real situation since the parents are present at an interview template and a battery of follow-up ble, attractive, meaningful,
bris. the meeting. questions. such a template could, for example, be wonderful and beautiful. Talk
in addition, they often feel shame over the situa- formulated by the National board of Health and to the counsellor. DON’T KILL
YOURSELF!!! Best wishes
tion they find themselves in. Many children think Betrayed trust Welfare to cover all areas of victimisation to be
Response
that it is difficult to talk about their situation when relatively often, children say that they feel let simply marked off and it could be linked to a bat- Hi there. Firstly, if you are abu-
they sit face-to-face with a person they do not know down or betrayed by school counsellors, school tery of follow-up questions. The important part is sed, the social services are
or have not had time to build up trust in. Part of the nurses or teachers who sometimes contact the that one cannot assume to know what the child’s obliged to report it to the po-
lice. If they refuse to, make a
reason for this lack of trust lies in the child knowing parents after conversations with the child. situation is like, but instead must ask questions to report yourself. Please, don’t
about the social services Act’s mandatory reporting, “Those who should help the children to a cer- obtain an impression of the situation,” says Karin cut yourself, I stopped about
which exists to protect children in distress. tain extent have the duty of creating a working Johansson. 4-6 months ago and haven’t
tried cutting myself since. It
“but this requirement that one should immediately alliance with the parents to be able to help the Children want to be asked questions, especi- only helps for a little while, it
report if one suspects that a child is in distress some- child. As long as a contact, for example, with ally when it concerns difficult situations. doesn’t help the problem.
times leads to not having time to build up trust and child psychiatric services is based on being vo- “Children feel safe when one as an adult shows The problem won’t solve itself,
you have to do something
a stable relationship before a report is made. And it luntary, the parent has a choice to participate or that this is not difficult for me to talk about. An about it and want to solve it.
may often mainly be a supportive contact that the not. Therefore, the relationship to the parent is adult that asks questions makes it easier for the Lots a hugs
child wants,” says Karin Johansson. also important to the person helping,” she says. children. You can’t just sit quietly and nod. if you
Consequently, several children say that they kno- However, for the children, it can be a virtual do, children feel very uncomfortable,” she says.
wingly withhold some of the awful things they are disaster when they cannot rely on what they say
subjected to with the aim of being able to keep the staying with the person they tell. school counsel-
contact with the person they have sought help from. lors and others often find it difficult to understand
it is often a question of children who have been the fo- that they can really cause problems by contacting
2009 • the BRIS report 10 11 the BRIS report • 2009
7. Article 3, §1.
In all actions concerning children,
whether undertaken by public or private
social welfare institutions, courts of law,
administrative authorities or legislative
bodies, the best interests of the child shall
be a primary consideration.
the un convention on
the rights of the child
2009 • the BRIS report 12 13 the BRIS report • 2009
8. physical abuse
the un convention on the
rights of the child text
photo
Mette Hultgren
Johan Bergling
How should a child subjected to violence and abuse be able to
continue? Professional help plays an important role, not instead of
talking with an adult close to the child, but rather in addition to it,
responds BRIS representative Petter Iwarsson. Regular talks with an
adult are often uncommon and much underrated.
Article 12, §1. States Parties shall
Talking
– a first step towards change
assure to the child who is capable of
forming his or her own views the right
to express those views freely in all
“I
n general , when people ask for help, the child being afraid of being punished if he or
matters affecting the child, the whether children or adults, we want a chan- she tells, worry about betraying his or her family
views of the child being given due ge, but we do not know what we should do or concern that the conversation will not help,
to make the change,” says Petter iwarsson, bris that it will not lead to the situation improving.
weight in accordance with the age representative. Petter iwarsson describes it as a sort of wishful
and maturity of the child. “i also think that children and young people thinking; the child wants help at the same time
possibly send different signals than we adults that nobody should find out what his or her situa-
do when they need help,” he continues. tion is like. As time goes by, however, the child
Petter iwarsson believes that to be able often reaches the insight that the situation sel-
to help and support children and young dom or never gets better by just doing nothing.
people, adults above all have to create opp- The bubble of loneliness that the child lives in
ortunities for children to tell in their own has to burst.
way, and at their own pace. “i think that one of the first steps toward help is
“some children who turn to bris have almost always putting one’s situation into words
very serious problems, while others have together with an adult who has the courage to
problems that are large for them, but take in the account.”
where one as an adult does Aaron Antonovsky, Professor of Medical so-
not get as worried. For ex- ciology from the U.s., believed that people need
ample, “help, i’ve never to make difficulties understandable to be able
had a boyfriend” or to manage them. He developed the salutogenic
“help, i want to fall theory, which involves focusing the conversation
in love”. To know on the factors that give people good health – in-
how we should be telligibility, manageability and meaningfulness.
able to offer support, “Many of the children who contact bris de-
we need to create scribe a lack of understanding of what is happe-
environments where ning in the family. “My mum drinks, can i make
children can talk.” her stop?” They lack the intelligibility. Nor do
Many children with the children know how they will be able to take
serious problems wait a the next step, or what help is available, they are
long time before asking missing the manageability. And many children
for help. There are many lack the meaningfulness – they do not believe it
reasons for this, such as can get better.”
2009 • the BRIS report 14 15 the BRIS report • 2009
9. physical abuse
the un convention on
the rights of the child
Petter iwarsson believes that these three parts
clarify the adult’s task. Adults can help the child-
ren understand both their emotions and their
context – create intelligibility. They can seek the
child’s internal and external resources and there-
by illustrate manageability and convey the hope
of change being possible – create meaningfulness.
“Adults can contribute intelligibility, manageabi-
lity and meaningfulness, which is no minor ac-
hievement,” continues Petter iwarsson.
“These three components are a basis for pro-
viding the children with tools to take the next
step, which can be done in the relationship with
an adult, such as in the conversation with bris or
with a teacher. Ordinary talks with an adult are
uncommon and much underrated.”
it may be difficult to see how a child that is
being abused could find manageability in being
beaten. Petter iwarsson emphasizes that this
manageability is not about the child staying in a
harmful situation, rather the opposite. being able
to understand what is happening, understanding
oneself and one’s context and thereby creating in-
Article 39. States Parties shall take
telligibility, manageability and meaningfulness all appropriate measures to promote
is incredibly important for a child’s self-esteem. physical and psychological recovery
Especially since children subjected to violence
and abuse blame themselves. and social reintegration of a
“The perpetrator also blames the child, which child victim of: any form of
makes the child doubly victimised.”
These tools are not only an aid for the children, neglect, exploitation, or abuse;
they are also a support for the adult the child torture or any other form of
is talking with, regardless of whether the person
works professionally with children, is a youth
cruel, inhuman or degrading
recreation leader or a parent. because, Petter treatment or punishment;
iwarsson emphasizes, a prerequisite for the adult or armed conflicts. Such
to dare to be present in the meeting with the child
and dare to listen is that the adult feels secure and recovery and reintegration
knows that he or she has something to contribute Many of the children who shall take place in an
to the conversation.
Consequently, the adult conversational part-
contact BRIS describe a lack environment which fosters
ner does not always need to be a trained therapist of understanding of what is the health, self-respect and
or psychologist. The importance of people close happening in the family. dignity of the child.
to the child, such as friends, teachers, youth re-
creation leaders or parents, is also often under-
rated, he feels. They can provide warmth and af-
firmation, which is a prerequisite for a change to
be possible. However, for children and families
with serious problems to be able to achieve long-
term, functional change, the help of professionals
is also needed.
“The job of the therapist or a psychologist in-
cludes taking in the child’s account and placing it
in a larger context, which is often perceived as li-
berating for the child. but as i’ve said before, not
as a replacement, but as a complement. All of us
adults, regardless of the context we find ourselves
in, are important. We cannot forget this.”
2009 • the BRIS report 16 17 the BRIS report • 2009
