Job loss? Divorce? change? relocation? trauma? Learn some practical ways to move through the valley to the mountaintop of grief recovery

1. Helping those with grief

2. The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because
the Lord has anointed me to preach good
tidings to the poor; he has sent me to heal the
brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the
captives, and opening of the prison to those
who are bound; to proclaim the couple year of
the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God
my: to comfort all who mourn, to console
those who mourn in Zion, to give them
beauty for ashes, oil joy for morning, the
garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
Isaiah 61:1-3

3. Definition of Grief

4. Definitions of grief
• loss of a loved one in death or divorce,
displacement due to a natural disaster such an
earthquake
• Loss of limb ,mastectomy loss of sensory
• Loss of hoped-for event that does not
materialize,
• the diminishment of perceived options (e.g.,
inability to follow a certain career path),
• loss of specific types of freedoms, or the
collective loss one can experience when there is a
local or national tragedy

5. Symptoms of Grief

6. Symptoms of grief
• Withdraw socially
• Have trouble thinking and concentrating
• Become restless and anxious at times
• Not feel like eating
• Look sad
• Feel depressed (use depression inventory and treat accordingly)
• Dream of the deceased (or even have hallucinations or “visions” in which
they briefly hear or see the deceased)
• Lose weight
• Have trouble sleeping
• Feel tired or weak
• Become preoccupied with death or events surrounding death
• Search for reasons for the loss (sometimes with results that make no
sense to others)
• Dwell on mistakes, real or imagined, that he or she made with the
deceased
• Feel somehow guilty for the loss
• Feel all alone and distant from others

7. Myths of Grief
Recovery

8. Myths of grief recovery.
• Grieve alone, avoid upsetting others
• Let sleeping dogs lie
• Replace the loss as soon as possible
• You must cry in order to grieve
• Don’t cry
• Just get over it
• Give it time and the pain will resolve on its own
• Don’t trust in the future, there is only now
• Recall only the good times to avoid disloyalty
• Don’t feel sad, you’ll just get depressed
• Be a good example to others
• Stay strong and be a good example to others

9. Why grief recovery is important.
• Behavioral patterns related to loss and grief recovery are
learned These patterns reflect role modeling of caregivers,
personal experience, cultural conditioning, verbal and
nonverbal instructions (e.g., religion, politics), and
expectations, to name just a few.
• Learning more effective behaviors can increase one’s
likelihood of recovering successfully from loss and freeing
up vital energy.
• Becoming empowered to deal more effectively with your
own losses increases the probability of your being better
equipped to offer encouragement and affirmation to others
during their episodes of loss and grief recovery.

10. Stages of Grief
Recovery

11. Stages of grief recovery
• Shock or Disbelief
• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Guilt
• Depression
• Acceptance
• Cyclical not linear normal = 18 months

12. How to counsel

13. How to counsel
• Explain grief cycles. Average time = 18
months. Client can jump from one stage to
another and back to first one.
• Watch for increased depression and treat
accordingly. (see link to Joy in the Morning:
Overcoming Depression)
• Empathize with clients feelings
• Client should not make any major decisions
during this time

14. How to counsel
• Encourage client to simplify as much as
possible. It is difficult to make decisions. I lived
on lists for several months because I could not
think.
• It is ok to feel the feelings, but unhealthy to
obcess.
• Client may need to forgive the person who
died.
• Encourage client to maintain normal daily
routines as much as possible.

15. How to counsel
• Counselor may need to engage help of family
and friends to assist client
• Counselor may need to help client with
decision making.
• As Christians, knowing our loved one is in
heaven, may or may not alleviate the clients
grief. Be sensitive and don’t over- spiritualize
give them permission to feel the feelings. God
walks gracefully and mercifully with us.

16. Joy in the Morning: Overcoming
Depression

17. What are the
symptoms of
depression? (see
Depression
Inventory in
Appendix)

18. How severe is the depression?
Scale of 1-10 (ten the worse)
Scale of 1-10 See Depression Inventory in Appendix
•Always access functioning, if symptoms last longer than 2 weeks,
consider a referral
•Goes above a 5, refer to a psychiatrist. Safety issue
•Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
•Fatigue and decreased energy
•Feeling sad or "empty"
•Feeling hopeless, irritable, anxious, or guilty
•Loss of interest in favorite activities ...
•Sadness and or irritability
•Loss of interest or pleasure in everyday activities
•Loss of appetite—or increase in appetite
•Sleep disturbances—either insomnia or excessive sleeping
•Suicide thoughts or ideations. ..

19. What causes
depression?

20. Medical causes of depression
• Chemical , brain imbalance
• Medical
• Pharmaceutical
• mixing of prescriptions
• side effect of medication
• Geriatric
• Spirit of depression
• Can lead to clinical depression

21. Nutritional causes of depression
• Sugar and refined products impact our brain function
including mood, cognitive processes, problem solving
• “ Boosting brain function often has a positive
effective on mood. Many of the Daniel Plan choices
have anti depressant properties. Exercise, eating
right, taking supplements such as fish oil, and
learning not to believe every thought have been
shown independently to boost mood”. The Daniel
Plan, Chapter 6: Focus.
• Recommend 10 day detox to clients, cutting out
sugar , processed foods and caffeine.

22. Other causes of depression
• Situational
• Loss, change or grief
• Frozen rage
• Spirit of depression
• Generational curses

23. Know your limits

24. How is the clients
functioning?
High
Moderate
Low

25. When and how do I
refer?
• When you are not
comfortable
• When client functioning
drops below 5 on
depression inventory
• Express concern for
client
• Explain why the referral
• Refer to psychiatrist or
medical doctor to
prescribe medication
• Ok for adjunctive
sessions
• Document

26. Coaching goals

27. What is the
wholeness approach?
Soul
Spirit
Body

28. The wholeness approach: Body
• Nutrition
• Exercise
• Medical reasons
3 John: 2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper
in all things and be in health just as your soul
prospers.

29. The wholeness approach: Soul
• Soul: (nephesh) a life, living being, self,
person, personality, inner desires and feelings.
• Prov. 10: 3. The Lord will not allow a righteous
soul to famish. 3 John 3
• Talk myself in and out of depression
Prov. 13:2, 3 A man shall eat well by the fruit of
his mouth.

30. The wholeness approach: Soul
Prov. 23:7 As a man thinks so he it.
Correct negative thought patterns, it is an
effective treatment for anxiety disorders,
depression, relationship problems and even
overeating. Rick Warren

31. How we distort our thoughts
1. Over generalize
2. Think with our feelings. Assume feelings is
true
3. Predicting the future, worse case scenario
4. Blame self or others
5. Denial
6. Focusing on negative

32. The wholeness approach: Spirit
Gratitude:
Yale University research study evaluated more
than 2,000 veterans between the ages of 60
and 96 to assess which traits helped them age
successfully. Gratitude and purpose were the
most significant traits associated with
successful aging. R.H. Pietrzak, J. Tsai, et. Al,
“Successful Aging among Older Veterans in
the United States.

33. The wholeness approach: Spirit
1. Pray regularly research shows prayer calms
stress and enhances brain function.
2. Gratitude, I Thes. 5:16-18
3. Think on God’s character
4. Stay in fellowship, community,
5. Speak God’s promises out loud
• Frames our world Heb. 11:3

34. Empower with
choices.

35. Empower with Choices
• I can choose to think on the good, the lovely
things in my life, Phil 4:8
• I can choose to be thankful
• I can talk to a nutritionist
• I can talk to my doctor
• I can change my beliefs
• I can forgive
• I can make small steps towards wholeness

36. Strengthen belief
system

37. Identify my Negative Beliefs
• What do I think about myself? What does God
say?
• What do I think about the situation? What
does God say?
• What do I think about my future? What does
God say?
• What could I do to change my situation?

38. God’s Truth to Combat Lies
• Isaiah 41:10
• 2 Cor. 12:0
• Matt. 11:28
• Zeph. 3:17
• Heb. 4:16
• Ps. 37:4

39. Knowledge of God’s
love will heal low
self esteem and
unworthiness

40. •I am loved and blessed with every spiritual
blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.
Eph. 1:3
•I am loved because I am chosen in Him
before the foundation of the world. Eph. 1:4
•I am loved so I am holy and without blame
before Him in love. Eph. 1:4

41. • I am loved and I am accepted in the Beloved.
Eph. 1:6
• I am loved and I am a vessel of honor, clean and
useful for the Master, 2 Timothy 2:21
• I am loved and nothing can separate me from his
love. Rom. 8:39
• I am loved so Christ dwells in my heart through
faith and I am rooted and grounded in love. Eph.
3:17