1. Are you afraid of success … or is it something else?
Has someone suggested to you that you fear success? Or have you
thought it about yourself? If so, what is it you are really afraid of?
I had to think about this some years ago, when I was starting out as
a speaker. An enthusiastic and supportive friend of mine would say,
frequently, “Maybe soon we’ll see you on Oprah’s show,” and I
would shudder in horror and immediately cut back on any activities
that might make me more visible.
I was being sabotaged by two fears, both involving the
possibility that I wo
uld appear foolish and fail miserably. The first was that I simply
had no knowledge of how to prepare for an interview, and the
second was that I would be thrown questions that were skeptical or
even hostile about my expertise, and I would be frozen, unable to
answer.
I thought some people were just born superbly capable to handle these situations, while others
(myself), were not. Some people are actually born to be “cool” in circumstances that would fluster
the rest of us, but I failed to realize that being a good interviewee, and fielding difficult questions,
are simply learnable skills. Just because some people are born to be superb athletes doesn’t mean
that others can’t learn and enjoy swimming or playing tennis.
Being told you “fear success” doesn’t really help solve the problem, does it? I always felt that I
was really being told that I lacked will power, or backbone: something essential but difficult to
visualize, much less grasp.
I know now that somewhere out there are templates for every situation you might encounter
but don’t know how to handle – yet. Here are a few resources:
• Need to express yourself better in public? Try reading “Communicate That!” by CBS radio
host Roshini Rajkumar.
• Flustered by sudden questions or comments that you don’t know how to handle?
Communications specialist Sharon Ellison has some great techniques for you in her book,
“ on-Defensive Communication.”
• And if social situations you have never encountered give you sweaty palms, you can find
exactly what to do when you consult Letitia Baldridge, author and expert on contemporary
manners, and former social secretary to Jacqueline Kennedy. In her “ ew Complete Guide
to Executive Manners,” she covers everything from dressing, gift-giving and table manners
to travel and differences in international culture.
You don’t ever have to feel alone and in a panic. Others have walked the same path and marked
it out clearly for you to follow. They weren’t any more special than you are, but they realized they
had to learn the ways in which to make their dreams come true.
So select your guide and set out on your trip to success!
Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach,is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer,
and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress management. She currently
works to provide stress and time pressure solutions to harried women, those women who seek
"Islands of Peace" in their overly-busy lives. Her talks to groups of what she calls "harried women"
are receiving rave reviews. Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-
depth articles and to view her programs.
