1. Call Centre Conversations

2. Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?". Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours". Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

3. Customer: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall". Customer: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".

4. Customer: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?" Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

5. Customer: “Yes, I want to know, if I register my car in London, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?" Operator: “You are enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in London, sir?”.

6. Customer: “Your Yellow Page ad says you buy medical books?”. Operator: “Yes we do”. “What do you have?”. Customer: “Well, my Mom died and she was a hypochondriac”. Operator: “Maybe she was right!”. Customer: “What do you mean?”. Operator: “Nothing”. “What kind of books did she have?”. Customer: “Sick books”. “You know, pills, diseases and all that!”. Operator: “Sorry, we only buy healthy books”. Customer: “Really?”. Operator: “Yea”. “Sorry to hear about your mom”.

7. Operator: “This is the Unemployment Department. Can I get your name?”. Customer: “Good!” “Can I have your company's name?”. Operator: “No”. Operator: “Why?”. Customer: “Are you hiring?”. Customer: “I have to tell the Unemployment Department that I am looking for a job”.