1. RUBEN THE RAISIN: STORY UNFOLDS The Raisin has been spotted again on the daily Raisin Report. But the question is: who is Raisin, and how did he become a famous celebrity? It all started with young, innocent seventh grader Gabrielle. Hardly understanding English, she was asked for her box of raisins by an 8 th grader: Ruben. Ever since then, she called the boy Raisin. One day, he was haunting the stairwells, giving people the evil eye. Gabrielle told her friends the story about the raisins. She turned around, and saw the door wide open. He was listening the whole entire time! From that day on, Raisin would stalk the group. He still terrorizes the hearts of the table today! If you have any information on him, or his whereabouts, please contact Sir Question Mark at findraisinnow.org or just call 1-800-RAI-SIN! THE GABRIELLE GAZETTE www.swisscheese.com Me No Speakin English! - Since 2010? Lost Ostriches? Call 1-886-OSTRICH

2. WANTED Many people are reporting robberies and various crimes throughout the city. Police have only one suspect, a imposter computer teacher working at Greenberg Elementary School. His name is none other than Mr. Danaher. He came at the school year of 2009-2010. The first people to notice his mysterious behavior were Selvije Islamaj and Gabrielle Suissa, both seventh graders. “He always looked scary and threatening”, reported the girls. A fourth grader, Elyakim, revealed that one day he ran into the room. “He was mad and dangerous. He quickly grabbed his coat and ran away, quickly stating that he had to go to a funeral” Many people wonder if the funeral was his own fault. Police are wondering if he was the one who lent Alan Greenberg, his fellow criminal, the big hammer hiding in his closet. If you seen him, please let the FBI know. Where They Never Spoken English 2010

3. Who DID Order the Steak? Identity Found In case you forgot, last year, on March 4 2010, the table went to the Hibachi to celebrate Miranda’s birthday. A lady, who no speakin English, asked whose birthday was it. But everyone agreed that it sounded like “Who ordered the steak?” Now, on December 11, the answer has been found. The crew went again to celebrate Nick’s birthday. Someone actually DID order steak this time. It turned out to be: ANGELA… and her brother! Police confirm that they have been scheming to order the steak all along! Last year, they tricked the waitress into thinking that someone ordered the steak, which befuddled and wasted the table’s time. The FBI urge people to share any information they know about the runaways’ whereabouts. Please contact: Camerasinthebathroom.com/hibachi/steak.html Hibachi Horrors Cameras in the Bathrooms? - Since 2010

4. GABRIELLE CONFIRMS BABY Ostrich! Gabrielle indeed confirms that she is pregnant with her Ostrich boyfriend. Many questions are going around such as how is this possible, and how are they going to care for the baby? But the main question is: How will the baby look like? Some scientists believe that the baby will receive the human features that the mom has, because the traits are dominent. Others say it will form a totally species. Makemebabies.com says that when faces are morphed, a human baby forms. Is this possible? Others say it might be a furry human! What do you think? The only thing we can do is wait 9 months! CELEBRITY NEWS AND GOSSIP WORLD EXCLUSIVES THE TABLE