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STEPHANIE SLOANE
Dear Me
Poems of loss, grief, and hope
in New York’s darkest days
Dear Me
Poems of loss, grief, and hope
in New York’s darkest days
Losing a loved one is always a tragic life event. That loss became even more
difficult when Stephanie Sloane lost her husband of fifty-eight years just
as New York City was going into the COVID-19 lockdown. Like so many
others to come, the funeral was on ZOOM. And Stephanie was left to face life
alone, in an apartment meant for two, without the comfort of family or friends
for hugs and a shoulder to cry on. One morning she took pen to paper to
express her feelings, and then did so every day through June 8th
when New
York City started to open up to life again. Those daily feelings and emotions
are now shared in this poignant collection of poems. Accompanied by the
author’s photos, Dear Me beautifully expresses her personal loss and grief
and then her realization of the loss and grief of everyone during this time. And
then finally… glimmers of hope.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A native New Yorker, born and raised in
the Bronx, who now lives in Manhattan,
Stephanie Sloane has had an eclectic career
encompassing many creative endeavors
mostly in the art and theater worlds. She has
written two plays, Toujours L’Amour which
was staged in NYC last year, and Bronx Light/
Bronx Dark. The loss of her husband at the
same time as the pandemic prompted her to
write her first, but not her last, book of poetry
with photographs.
The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing
www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com
Susan Herbst
Graphic Design •
Illustration •
Photography •
8 J u l y Av e .
B a y v i l l e , N Y 1 1 7 0 9
5 1 6 - 6 3 3 - 7 7 3 0
susan.j.herbst@gmail.com
Client:
Three Tomatoes
Publishing
Book Covers •
Book Interiors •
Nicole Freezer Rubens The Long Pause and The Short Breath
- 3 -
- 2 -
Growth
March 29, 2020
Each morning after I awake
just before the ethereal fog of sleep dissipates,
I remember that Corona is still here.
I set my iPhone alarm
for 6:55 pm
so that at 7
I can exit my apartment
onto my decorative-useless-until-now
Juliette balcony
that adorns the beige brick facade of my building.
I sandwich myself between my neighbors
to cheer for the healthcare workers
who are soldiering on
with Hefty garbage bags for armor.
I can touch my mouth,
stick my pinched thumb and middle finger
under my tongue
and whistle with all my might.
I clap, cheer, whoop and tear,
and at 7:02 I go back
to my orange tufted sofa and iPad
and simply stay there.
THIS
SWEET
LIFE
how
we
lived
after
Kirby
died
THIS
how we lived
SWEET
after
LIFE
Kirby died
Ginny Brown | Jean Brown
Ginny
Brown
Jean
Brown
Kirby Brown’s death made international news
when she died in a sweat lodge on a “self-help” retreat.
Now her family tells the real story.
The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing
www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com
You are about to take a journey that will spark your heart and soul, and most likely leave you
speechless. After reading 2200 nonfiction books and working behind the scenes in the personal
development industry for twenty-five years for Tony Robbins, Ginny & Jean Brown’s, This Sweet
Life is far beyond a must read. – Gary King, author of The Happiness Formula
A beautiful, heart-breaking book that exposes the dangerous side of the self-help industry. It tells
the story of Kirby Brown who died after being deprived of water, food and sleep and then put in a
sweat lodge by James Arthur Ray, a man who was not qualified to run a sweat lodge, ignored pleas
for help once participants were inside the lodge and left the scene immediately afterwards.
– Marianne Power, author Help Me!... One Woman’s Quest to
Find Out if Self-Help Really Can Change Her Life
It is two books in one since it alternates between a parent’s and a sibling’s perspective of their
experiences and recovery process after the tragic loss of a family member.  It also describes how
they molded their grief into something positive, forming the Seek Safely Foundation to aid the
public with information to avoid having this heartbreak happen to them or their loved ones.
– Connie Joy, author of Tragedy in Sedona: My Life in James Arthur Ray’s Inner Circle
Kirby Brown was a seeker who lived a life of passion and adventure. When she and two
others died in a sweat lodge at a self-help retreat on October 8, 2009, it shattered her
family and friends. Kirby’s mother and sister detail how they learned about Kirby’s ugly
death, struggled through their grief, and kept moving forward through the trial of the
criminally negligent guru in charge, James Arthur Ray–international best-selling mo-
tivational speaker who had been featured in The Secret and on Oprah. Following the
trial, the family founded SEEK Safely Inc., since all seekers are entitled to safe self-im-
provement journeys. Even through their multi-layered grieving process, Ginny and Jean
Brown wanted to live as Kirby did—with passion and love. In sharing their story, they of-
fer an invitation into their private hell, an immersion in their grief, and a story of evolution
after trauma. A portion of the proceeds of the book will go to SEEK Safely Inc., a 501c3
non-profit. www.seeksafely.org
Virginia Brown, LCSW, is a wife and mother of four, “Mema” to seven grand-
children. She conducts a private mental health practice in Westtown, New
York and has provided training and clinical support as a Family Life Educator
intheTri-StateArea(NY,NJ,CT).Followingthedeathofherdaughterataself-
help retreat in 2009, the family founded SEEK Safely, Inc., a 501c3 charity to
educate the public about self-help and promote safe and ethical practices
in the industry.
Jean Brown, MPPPA, is a writer and work-from-home-mom to two young
children. She has bachelor’s degrees in political science and writing from
LoyolaUniversityMaryland,andaMaster’sinPublicPolicyandPublicAdmin-
istration from Concordia University in Montreal. She is active in creating con-
tent for SEEK’s website, social media, brand outreach, and legislative effort.
The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing
www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com
“Carol has kept us alive for years at the Actors’ Temple. Her poetry will bring
even you back to life, in a pandemic yet!”
~Sophie Tucker, Milton Berle, The Marx Brothers,
The Ritz Brothers, The Three Stooges, Red Buttons, Ed Sullivan,
Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein, Al Jolson, and Eddie Cantor
“Carol would send me her poetry each day she wrote it. I was so taken and
comforted by her way of capturing in rhyme so much of what I was feeling.
She even made me laugh much of the time. Laughing and humor during
a pandemic!”
~Jane Goldman, attorney and author,
“With No Regrets…Getting Older: Face It, Live It, Love It”
“Carol Ostrow, a celebrated Off- Broadway producer, found her poet’s voice
during the early days of the Covid-19 lockdown … enchanting her circle of
friends and associates. Now with the publication of her poems, she’s destined
to illuminate a bigger stage.”
~Elaine Taylor-Gordon, author and international entrepreneur
“Poems from my Pandemic Pen” represents the creative outlet that sprung
from the remarkable emotions and forward-thinking mind of Carol Ostrow.
She captures the turmoil of present day with humor, candor and its realities.
~Sandi Durell/Publisher-Editor TheaterPizzazz.com
Carol Ostrow is an accomplished theatrical producer
in New York City. For many years, she and her partner
Arthur Cantor, produced several award-winning
shows, including Beau Jest in New York and all over
the country. After his death she continued to produce
shows on her own, including I Am Anne Frank, The
Musical at Town Hall starring Andrea Marcovicci, and
After Play, by Anne Meara starring Anne, her husband
Jerry Stiller, and Rita Moreno. For the past five years
she has served as president of the Actors’ Temple, the “Jewel of a Shul,” and
has raised money for the renovation of the building through her producing
efforts and highly acclaimed fundraiser shows. She also has a film company
and creates videos for her favorite charities. Carol has produced over thirty Off-
Broadway shows and over twenty theatrical fundraisers, and still counting, for
her beloved Actors’ Temple.
CANNONBALL!
Fearlessly
Facing
Midlife
and
Beyond
AMY
SCHMIDT
“Amy Schmidt’s book Cannonball! Fearlessly Facing Midlife and Beyond is a must read
for anyone thinking about rebuilding their life at any point, and starting over with
confidence, no apologies, and taking the first steps on a new journey. Go ahead…
Don’t be afraid to make a big splash!”
Julie Moran, Former host of Entertainment Tonight,
Wide World of Sports, and the current podcast Empower Midlife
“Amy Schmidt has nailed it. It’s as though she got inside my head (and really every
woman’s head) and pulled out all the voices that stop us from trying something new
or even giving ourselves a pat on the back. Amy knows these demons and she gives
wonderful advice on how to not only face them but blow them out of the water.”
Laurie Gelman, Award winning author of the series,
Class Mom and You’ve Been Volunteered.
You’re entering midlife – the “big five-oh” may be looming or may have come and gone.
You find yourself standing on the edge of the high dive wishing you could cannonball
with fearless exhilaration like you did when you were ten. But you’re frozen.
What’s holding you back? Fear of the unknown? Procrastination? Self-doubt?
Fear of others judging you? Fear of failing? Amy Schmidt has been there,
done that, and still doing some of it.
In Cannonball, Fearlessly Facing Midlife and Beyond, she shares her personal stories,
and those of other women, to help arm us with insights and inspiration to cannonball
fearlessly into the rest of our lives with the biggest splash possible. Amy is the real
deal – disarmingly open, honest, and relatable. She sometimes feels fat. She can be
a perfectionist. She can procrastinate and she sometimes forgets to love herself.
But as she says, “I am a work in progress,” and most days she feels “absolutelyfreaking”
amazing. Amy is the BFF you want climbing each rung of that ladder with you and
encouraging you to cannonball into the next best phase of your life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amy Schmidt is a podcaster, author, public speaker, blogger, CEO
of AKS & Associates, and Founder of the brand, Fearlessly Facing
Fifty™ whose mission is to empower and encourage women forty-plus
to go all in and not lose their identity or become invisible. She wants
to embolden women to push their fears aside and create the life they
envision for themselves going forward into midlife and beyond.
Fearlesslyfacingfifty.com
The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing
www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com
Front
8.5” x 8.5”
(215.9mm x 215.9mm)
Barcode
Location & Size
2” X 1.2”
Paperback Book
Cover Template
8.5” X 8.5” Book
(215.9mm X 215.9mm)
White Paper
0.25” Spine Width
(6.292mm)
t, or essential images
may be rejected.
Spine
Width
0.25”
(6.292mm)
THE LONG PAUSE
and
THE SHORT BREATH
Poems & Photos - Reflections On New York City’s Pandemic
“This collection of poems and photos beautifully illustrates the complex
emotions of living in New York during a global pandemic.”
~ Kelly Ripa, Entrepreneur, Host, Actress and Producer
Nicole Freezer Rubens
oems and photography that will make
ake your breath away.
Corona pause
e a marker
lective timeline,
postwar buildings
venues in New York City,
but quiet monuments
nd before and after.”
Nicole Freezer Rubens takes you inside the pandemic
the endless sirens, the protests, the salutes to those
, and then out the other side when the quarantine was
y of her photographs tell the story of a city on pause—
hat speaks volumes of lives upended that takes your
of emotions and a love story to the “eternal flame of
an never be extinguished.”
a native New Yorker who with her husband raised their
well. She studied studio art, art history, creative writing
owing a career in the art world, launched her own
m.
e always wrote poetry and took photos. Her favorite
new neighborhoods and posting her treasured finds on
ly thrilled to combine two of her lifelong passions in
w Nicole on Instagram@nfrconsult.
THE
LONG
PAUSE
and
THE
SHORT
BREATH
Nicole
Freezer
Rubens

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Poems of Loss, Grief and Hope During a Pandemic

  • 1. STEPHANIE SLOANE Dear Me Poems of loss, grief, and hope in New York’s darkest days Dear Me Poems of loss, grief, and hope in New York’s darkest days Losing a loved one is always a tragic life event. That loss became even more difficult when Stephanie Sloane lost her husband of fifty-eight years just as New York City was going into the COVID-19 lockdown. Like so many others to come, the funeral was on ZOOM. And Stephanie was left to face life alone, in an apartment meant for two, without the comfort of family or friends for hugs and a shoulder to cry on. One morning she took pen to paper to express her feelings, and then did so every day through June 8th when New York City started to open up to life again. Those daily feelings and emotions are now shared in this poignant collection of poems. Accompanied by the author’s photos, Dear Me beautifully expresses her personal loss and grief and then her realization of the loss and grief of everyone during this time. And then finally… glimmers of hope. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A native New Yorker, born and raised in the Bronx, who now lives in Manhattan, Stephanie Sloane has had an eclectic career encompassing many creative endeavors mostly in the art and theater worlds. She has written two plays, Toujours L’Amour which was staged in NYC last year, and Bronx Light/ Bronx Dark. The loss of her husband at the same time as the pandemic prompted her to write her first, but not her last, book of poetry with photographs. The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com Susan Herbst Graphic Design • Illustration • Photography • 8 J u l y Av e . B a y v i l l e , N Y 1 1 7 0 9 5 1 6 - 6 3 3 - 7 7 3 0 susan.j.herbst@gmail.com Client: Three Tomatoes Publishing Book Covers • Book Interiors • Nicole Freezer Rubens The Long Pause and The Short Breath - 3 - - 2 - Growth March 29, 2020 Each morning after I awake just before the ethereal fog of sleep dissipates, I remember that Corona is still here. I set my iPhone alarm for 6:55 pm so that at 7 I can exit my apartment onto my decorative-useless-until-now Juliette balcony that adorns the beige brick facade of my building. I sandwich myself between my neighbors to cheer for the healthcare workers who are soldiering on with Hefty garbage bags for armor. I can touch my mouth, stick my pinched thumb and middle finger under my tongue and whistle with all my might. I clap, cheer, whoop and tear, and at 7:02 I go back to my orange tufted sofa and iPad and simply stay there. THIS SWEET LIFE how we lived after Kirby died THIS how we lived SWEET after LIFE Kirby died Ginny Brown | Jean Brown Ginny Brown Jean Brown Kirby Brown’s death made international news when she died in a sweat lodge on a “self-help” retreat. Now her family tells the real story. The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com You are about to take a journey that will spark your heart and soul, and most likely leave you speechless. After reading 2200 nonfiction books and working behind the scenes in the personal development industry for twenty-five years for Tony Robbins, Ginny & Jean Brown’s, This Sweet Life is far beyond a must read. – Gary King, author of The Happiness Formula A beautiful, heart-breaking book that exposes the dangerous side of the self-help industry. It tells the story of Kirby Brown who died after being deprived of water, food and sleep and then put in a sweat lodge by James Arthur Ray, a man who was not qualified to run a sweat lodge, ignored pleas for help once participants were inside the lodge and left the scene immediately afterwards. – Marianne Power, author Help Me!... One Woman’s Quest to Find Out if Self-Help Really Can Change Her Life It is two books in one since it alternates between a parent’s and a sibling’s perspective of their experiences and recovery process after the tragic loss of a family member.  It also describes how they molded their grief into something positive, forming the Seek Safely Foundation to aid the public with information to avoid having this heartbreak happen to them or their loved ones. – Connie Joy, author of Tragedy in Sedona: My Life in James Arthur Ray’s Inner Circle Kirby Brown was a seeker who lived a life of passion and adventure. When she and two others died in a sweat lodge at a self-help retreat on October 8, 2009, it shattered her family and friends. Kirby’s mother and sister detail how they learned about Kirby’s ugly death, struggled through their grief, and kept moving forward through the trial of the criminally negligent guru in charge, James Arthur Ray–international best-selling mo- tivational speaker who had been featured in The Secret and on Oprah. Following the trial, the family founded SEEK Safely Inc., since all seekers are entitled to safe self-im- provement journeys. Even through their multi-layered grieving process, Ginny and Jean Brown wanted to live as Kirby did—with passion and love. In sharing their story, they of- fer an invitation into their private hell, an immersion in their grief, and a story of evolution after trauma. A portion of the proceeds of the book will go to SEEK Safely Inc., a 501c3 non-profit. www.seeksafely.org Virginia Brown, LCSW, is a wife and mother of four, “Mema” to seven grand- children. She conducts a private mental health practice in Westtown, New York and has provided training and clinical support as a Family Life Educator intheTri-StateArea(NY,NJ,CT).Followingthedeathofherdaughterataself- help retreat in 2009, the family founded SEEK Safely, Inc., a 501c3 charity to educate the public about self-help and promote safe and ethical practices in the industry. Jean Brown, MPPPA, is a writer and work-from-home-mom to two young children. She has bachelor’s degrees in political science and writing from LoyolaUniversityMaryland,andaMaster’sinPublicPolicyandPublicAdmin- istration from Concordia University in Montreal. She is active in creating con- tent for SEEK’s website, social media, brand outreach, and legislative effort. The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com “Carol has kept us alive for years at the Actors’ Temple. Her poetry will bring even you back to life, in a pandemic yet!” ~Sophie Tucker, Milton Berle, The Marx Brothers, The Ritz Brothers, The Three Stooges, Red Buttons, Ed Sullivan, Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein, Al Jolson, and Eddie Cantor “Carol would send me her poetry each day she wrote it. I was so taken and comforted by her way of capturing in rhyme so much of what I was feeling. She even made me laugh much of the time. Laughing and humor during a pandemic!” ~Jane Goldman, attorney and author, “With No Regrets…Getting Older: Face It, Live It, Love It” “Carol Ostrow, a celebrated Off- Broadway producer, found her poet’s voice during the early days of the Covid-19 lockdown … enchanting her circle of friends and associates. Now with the publication of her poems, she’s destined to illuminate a bigger stage.” ~Elaine Taylor-Gordon, author and international entrepreneur “Poems from my Pandemic Pen” represents the creative outlet that sprung from the remarkable emotions and forward-thinking mind of Carol Ostrow. She captures the turmoil of present day with humor, candor and its realities. ~Sandi Durell/Publisher-Editor TheaterPizzazz.com Carol Ostrow is an accomplished theatrical producer in New York City. For many years, she and her partner Arthur Cantor, produced several award-winning shows, including Beau Jest in New York and all over the country. After his death she continued to produce shows on her own, including I Am Anne Frank, The Musical at Town Hall starring Andrea Marcovicci, and After Play, by Anne Meara starring Anne, her husband Jerry Stiller, and Rita Moreno. For the past five years she has served as president of the Actors’ Temple, the “Jewel of a Shul,” and has raised money for the renovation of the building through her producing efforts and highly acclaimed fundraiser shows. She also has a film company and creates videos for her favorite charities. Carol has produced over thirty Off- Broadway shows and over twenty theatrical fundraisers, and still counting, for her beloved Actors’ Temple. CANNONBALL! Fearlessly Facing Midlife and Beyond AMY SCHMIDT “Amy Schmidt’s book Cannonball! Fearlessly Facing Midlife and Beyond is a must read for anyone thinking about rebuilding their life at any point, and starting over with confidence, no apologies, and taking the first steps on a new journey. Go ahead… Don’t be afraid to make a big splash!” Julie Moran, Former host of Entertainment Tonight, Wide World of Sports, and the current podcast Empower Midlife “Amy Schmidt has nailed it. It’s as though she got inside my head (and really every woman’s head) and pulled out all the voices that stop us from trying something new or even giving ourselves a pat on the back. Amy knows these demons and she gives wonderful advice on how to not only face them but blow them out of the water.” Laurie Gelman, Award winning author of the series, Class Mom and You’ve Been Volunteered. You’re entering midlife – the “big five-oh” may be looming or may have come and gone. You find yourself standing on the edge of the high dive wishing you could cannonball with fearless exhilaration like you did when you were ten. But you’re frozen. What’s holding you back? Fear of the unknown? Procrastination? Self-doubt? Fear of others judging you? Fear of failing? Amy Schmidt has been there, done that, and still doing some of it. In Cannonball, Fearlessly Facing Midlife and Beyond, she shares her personal stories, and those of other women, to help arm us with insights and inspiration to cannonball fearlessly into the rest of our lives with the biggest splash possible. Amy is the real deal – disarmingly open, honest, and relatable. She sometimes feels fat. She can be a perfectionist. She can procrastinate and she sometimes forgets to love herself. But as she says, “I am a work in progress,” and most days she feels “absolutelyfreaking” amazing. Amy is the BFF you want climbing each rung of that ladder with you and encouraging you to cannonball into the next best phase of your life. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Amy Schmidt is a podcaster, author, public speaker, blogger, CEO of AKS & Associates, and Founder of the brand, Fearlessly Facing Fifty™ whose mission is to empower and encourage women forty-plus to go all in and not lose their identity or become invisible. She wants to embolden women to push their fears aside and create the life they envision for themselves going forward into midlife and beyond. Fearlesslyfacingfifty.com The Three Tomatoes Book Publishing www.thethreetomatoespublishing.com Front 8.5” x 8.5” (215.9mm x 215.9mm) Barcode Location & Size 2” X 1.2” Paperback Book Cover Template 8.5” X 8.5” Book (215.9mm X 215.9mm) White Paper 0.25” Spine Width (6.292mm) t, or essential images may be rejected. Spine Width 0.25” (6.292mm) THE LONG PAUSE and THE SHORT BREATH Poems & Photos - Reflections On New York City’s Pandemic “This collection of poems and photos beautifully illustrates the complex emotions of living in New York during a global pandemic.” ~ Kelly Ripa, Entrepreneur, Host, Actress and Producer Nicole Freezer Rubens oems and photography that will make ake your breath away. Corona pause e a marker lective timeline, postwar buildings venues in New York City, but quiet monuments nd before and after.” Nicole Freezer Rubens takes you inside the pandemic the endless sirens, the protests, the salutes to those , and then out the other side when the quarantine was y of her photographs tell the story of a city on pause— hat speaks volumes of lives upended that takes your of emotions and a love story to the “eternal flame of an never be extinguished.” a native New Yorker who with her husband raised their well. She studied studio art, art history, creative writing owing a career in the art world, launched her own m. e always wrote poetry and took photos. Her favorite new neighborhoods and posting her treasured finds on ly thrilled to combine two of her lifelong passions in w Nicole on Instagram@nfrconsult. THE LONG PAUSE and THE SHORT BREATH Nicole Freezer Rubens