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Social confidence
1.
2. Personal Well Being
Centre
How it all started
• Launched in April 2009 at the first Psychology for All event.
• The aim was to reach out to people who are interested in
psychology and how it can be applied in everyday life.
• There are usually 10-30 participants from all walks of life, with or
without psychological background.
• Drop-in sessions but there are some regulars.
• Officially sessions last an hour and a half but we usually continue after
that with wining, dining, and chatting.
• Once a month we have a presentation, a guest speaker, a workshop
and a debate. 05
3. Personal Well Being
Centre
Who comes and why?
•The sessions attract a fascinating mix of people of all ages from
many walks of life and many different countries.
•Because the sessions are interactive the topics have generated
rich exchanges of ideas, experiences and attitudes.
•People come for various reasons: general interest in the
subject, as a part of personal development, help with specific
issues, to socialise.
8. We do not:
• ‘Psychoanalyse’ each
other
• Demand personal
disclosures
• Do group therapy
• Lecture each other
• Bore each other
• Judge each other
9. Personal Well Being
Centre
TESTIMONIES
'An intriguing, accessible and ultimately enlightening way of
exploring the practical application of psychology in everyday life.'
Anita Maguire
‘Pub psychology offers a rare opportunity to learn, profoundly listen
and critically discuss key psychological topics that we encounter in
our everyday lives. Great - I can feel my neurons growing after each
session!’
Nic Malcomson
'Great evening, learning about different issues while having fun and
socialising'.
Josephine
15. Personal Well Being
Centre
THE GOLDEN RULE
• After all you know yourself better than anybody else,
so why shouldn’t they trust you?
• So, if you feel not confident other will feel that you
are not confident, if you feel confident others will
think that you are.
• If you think you are honest, they will think that too.
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The others are likely to think and feel about
you what you think or feel about yourself
16. Personal Well Being
Centre
INVOCATION BY IMAGE
Step one: recall a mental state
Step two: imagine how it looks like (shape, colour, location etc.)
Step three: bring that image into your mind when you want to
bring the associated mental state
image
state
memory
state
image
state
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17. Personal Well Being
Centre
RELAXATION
Progressive relaxation
Contract and then relax each set
of muscles in sequence. Start from
your feet and gradually progress
towards the top of your head.
Autogenic training
• Make limbs feel heavy and warm
• Allow breathing and heartbeat to
calm down
• Make the solar plexus area warm
and make the forehead cool. 30
18. POSTIVE THINKING
Sabotaging thoughts
• ‘I can’t make it’
• ‘I am not good enough’
• ‘I will be rejected or laughed at’
• ‘It was only luck'
Constructive thoughts
• ‘I can try, and see how far I
can get’
• ‘I will do my best this is
what matters most’
• ‘If somebody rejects me it is
their loss not mine’.
• ‘It wouldn’t happen without
me’.
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Personal Well Being
Centre
19. Personal Well Being
Centre
Focus on your strengths
(and don’t be ashamed of your weaknesses)
• Bravery
• Curiosity
• Hard working
• Love for learning
• Honesty
• Open-mindedness
• Enthusiasm
• Thinking well
• Love
• Practical intelligence
• Creativity
• Kindness
• Emotional intelligence
• Modesty
• Being careful
• Self-control
• Beauty
• Courage
• Getting along with
others
• Team work
• Hope
• Fairness
• Humour
• Spirituality
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20. Personal Well Being
Centre
Rehearse!
• Most people find difficult to come up with a good line when
they really need it. So, when you feel bored (e.g. while waiting
for a bus or being in a cash-till cue) imagine that the person of
your dreams appears – now and there! What would you do or
say? You are more likely to come up with some good ideas
while not under pressure.
• Start conversations or engage with anybody (elderly people,
children, workers, men and women). You can learn a lot from
such experiences and you can learn to be more confident and
relaxed.
• Role-play (in real life or imagination)
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22. Personal Well Being
Centre
5 steps to deal with rejection (5min)
• Allow yourself any feelings but do not obsess
• Acknowledge that
anyone can be
rejected
• Do not take
rejection
personally
• Try to learn
something from
the experience
• Try again
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23. Personal Well Being
Centre
Saying ‘no’
• One of you should only
say yes, and the other
one should respond
with no.
• The first one should try
to say yes in such a way
to make the other one
say yes, rather than no.
• After a few minutes
they switch sides.
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24. Personal Well Being
Centre
Comfortable distance
• Stand up
• You are not allowed to talk to each other!
• You can only make three signs with your
hands:
1.beckon the other to come closer
2.request the other to move further away
3.indicate that the other should stop
• Alternate in making these signs.
The aim of the exercise is to get to the point that both of you
are comfortable with the distance between you.
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