2. MATURE
"Finances"
1.
INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN - MORNING
BRENT sits at the kitchen table in the boys’ messy apartment,
cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. ZACH
approaches in a bath robe and sits down.
ZACH
Whatcha doing?
Brent looks up, shakes his head, and continues reading the
paper. Zach eyes the bread crust on the plate in front of
Brent.
ZACH (CONT’D)
Paper, huh? Oh, stocks!
Brent keeps reading.
ZACH (CONT’D)
Are they good stocks?
Brent puts the paper down.
BRENT
Good? Are they good? It’s more
complicated than that.
ZACH
Which ones do you own?
BRENT
Well, none yet. But I’m working on it.
And once I can afford one, I’m going
to get one.
Zach looks closely at the paper.
ZACH
TBA. That sounds like a good one.
BRENT
That’s not a stock, just a placeholder
for information. Please stop.
ZACH
What’s that number mean right there?
BRENT
You wouldn’t understand
ZACH
I don’t think you have any idea what
that means, man.
3. MATURE
"Finances"
CONTINUED:
2.
BRENT
No, you know, fiscal...
ZACH
You’re mumbling. And all I heard you
say was fiscal.
NEAL enters, looking defeated, and slumps into a chair at the
table. He puts his head in his hands.
BRENT
Morning, Neal.
ZACH
Morning, sunshine.
Neal moans.
BRENT
Everything okay?
ZACH
Yeah, what’s up sunshine?
BRENT
Stop saying sunshine.
They turn to Neal.
NEAL
I don’t know if I can afford all of
this.
He motions around the room. Brent looks around at the
dilapidated apartment and curls his lip. Zach looks around
and smiles.
NEAL (CONT’D)
The security deposit, first month’s
rent, utilities. I’m stretched pretty
thin.
ZACH
I used to have the same money
problems, but now I’ve got a system.
BRENT
That’s weird, I’m not having much
trouble.
4. MATURE
"Finances"
CONTINUED: (2)
3.
NEAL
That’s because your parents pay for
everything and they still give you,
like, 300 dollars a month.
ZACH
An allowance?
NEAL
No, he’s had it since middle school.
His family calls itNEAL
Special little guy money.
BRENT
Let’s just call it an
allowance...
Zach raises his eyebrows.
BRENT
So? I’ve become accustomed to a
certain lifestyle. And it’s a
lifestyle that I’m trying to achieve
on my own with my new job.
NEAL
So once you’re no longer an intern,
your parents are going to stop paying
you?
BRENT
That’s a discussion that will have to
be had when the time comes. Besides,
I’d gladly float you a loanNEAL
No thanks, Brent. Money and friends
don’t mix.
ZACH
I could use the money.
BRENT
You have to be a friend.
ZACH
He just said those don’t mix together.
It should work then, right? What about
money and people you are getting to
know who are going to eventually
become your best friend?
Brent ignores Zach.
5. MATURE
"Finances"
CONTINUED: (3)
4.
NEAL
Wait, why do you need the money? I
thought you had a system.
ZACH
Sure, I’ve got a system. Does the
system work? Depends on your
definition of “work.” Is it flawed?
Quite a bit. But, and here’s the
point: I have a system.
ZACH (CONT’D)
(to Neal)
Let me loan you money.
NEAL
No, I guess I can tutor on the sideZACH
Just listen to my system, Neal.
Neal turns towards Zach. Brent folds his newspaper in a huff.
Zach leans in.
ZACH (CONT’D)
This is great. I feel like we’re
telling ghost stories.
Neal gets up to leave.
ZACH (CONT’D)
Okay, okay. Listen. I divide my day
into covering the most basic of needs:
food, money, and entertainment. It’s
not just about getting food but about
cheap entertainment, which is the
easiest way to save money
NEAL
That’s actually pretty smart.
Neal sits back down.
INT. BANK LOBBY - MORNING
The bank lobby is brightly lit. Tellers assist patrons. Zach
enters.
ZACH (V.O.)
Each morning, I go to a different bank
around the city-
6. MATURE
"Finances"
CONTINUED:
5.
NEAL (V.O.)
You rob banks?!
BRENT (V.O.)
Makes sense.
ZACH (V.O)
No. I get there early for the free
cookies, before the mall walkers get
them. You know, old people.
Zach walks to the table and casually takes one cookie, then
another, and then puts an entire handful in his pocket.
ZACH (CONT’D)
Then, after breakfast, I head to the
pens.
Pens?
NEAL (V.O.)
ZACH (V.O.)
You know the pens they have on chains?
That’s because of me.
BRENT (V.O.)
What does that even mean? Those pens
are on chains as a convenience to
actual patrons, not just people there
for the cookies.
ZACH (V.O.)
Those pens are super nice. I’ve been
stealing them for years and returning
them to Office Mart, 3 bucks a pop.
Zach acts like he is filling out a deposit slip and subtly
breaks a chain and slips a pen into his pocket with the
cookies.
Wait.
BRENT (V.O.)
INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN - THAT MOMENT
Brent sits with his arms folded.
BRENT
That’s insane.
7. MATURE
"Finances"
CONTINUED:
6.
ZACH
Relax. I invest any money I have left
over from selling the pens back into
my bank account. Everyone wins.
Neal considers Zach’s point. Zach leans in to Neal.
ZACH (CONT’D)
And if I may say, is the payoff big?
No, not monetarily speaking. But
emotionally, the rush is huge. I feel
like a regular Bonnie N. Clyde, but a
guy version, not some chick.
BRENT
It’s Bonnie and Clyde. It’s two
people, not a woman with the middle
initial N.
Zach reaches into his robe and pulls up a bundle of pens on
chains. He winks at Brent and Neal.
ZACH
Fresh batch from this morning. Next, I
head down to get my next fix, my
entertainment fix.
Zach leans and looks and Brent. Brent refuses to look away
from the newspaper he is clearly not reading.
EXT. BRIDGE - LATE MORNING
It is a beautiful day. Zach stands on a bridge and soaks in
the sun.
ZACH (V.O.)
I don’t need a fancy record player or
anything to keep myself occupied.
NEAL (V.O.)
You know, you have a point. I could
save some money by just spending time
outdoors, that’s free, and healthyZACH (V.O.)
So every morning, after the bank, I go
down and throw rocks and stuff off the
bridge.
Zach throws a rock off the bridge and grins.
BRENT (V.O.)
And there it is.
8. MATURE
"Finances"
CONTINUED:
7.
ZACH (V.O.)
After that, I head to the local
library.
Zach walks across the street from the bridge to the library.
NEAL (V.O.)
See, Brent? That’s actually not a bad
suggestionZACH (V.O.)
Because there’s huge rocks behind the
library that look awesome when you
throw them off the bridge.
Zach struggles to throw a massive boulder off of the bridge.
BRENT (V.O.)
And there it is, again.
INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
Zach grins at Brent and Neal. He mimes dropping something and
it making a large splash.
EXT. PLASMA CLINIC - EARLY AFTERNOON
Zach stands in front of a plasma clinic on a busy road.
ZACH (V.O.)
After I finish eating my breakfast
from the bank and finding low-cost
entertainmentBRENT (V.O.)
Low cost? Try no cost. And
entertainment? Really?
ZACH (V.O.)
I head over to the plasma clinic.
NEAL (V.O.)
But you can’t donate more than once
every couple weeks, right?
ZACH (V.O.)
I’m not much of a donator of anything.
By the plasma clinic is by a bakery
that gets rid of their old products,
which are what they call “day old” or,
what I like to call, “lunch-new.”
9. MATURE
"Finances"
8.
INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN - THAT MOMENT
Neal stands up from the table. Brent is starting at Zach and
shaking his head.
NEAL
All right. You’re talking about
stealing pens and throwing rocks,
which, fine. To each their own. But
eating garbage?
ZACH
No garbage, lunch-new treats.
NEAL
I’ll tutor. It’s fine.
BRENT
Smart decision.
Zach stands up, too, reaches over, and quickly devours the
bread crust on Brent’s plate.
ZACH
Well, I’m off too. That bridge is
calling me.
Brent clenches his jaw and stares at the newspaper, his eyes
unfocused.
END OF ACT
