Article on the wisdom of lament as a route to healing

1. PERSPECTIVES
The Wisdom of Lament
BY JENNIE MCLAURIN, MD, MPH
Lament is a bodily practice.
Congregations historically walked
together as they called out to God,
bemoaning their oppression or the
effects of famine, disease, and blood-
shed. Traditionally, the walk included
wailing and moaning. Sometimes those
lamenting would tear their clothes or
wear scratchy sackcloth to feel the raw-
ness of their woes. This practice made
public shared grief while incorporating
all of the senses in the experience.
But lament doesn’t end in negativ-
ity. Many religious traditions recognize
that lament can carry us through
the most difficult passages in life by
channeling the therapeutic power of
naming—even wailing—our losses.
Naming, after all, is the first power
given to humanity in creation stories.
It is through voicing our collective
pain that we also hear it ourselves,
acknowledge the truth of it, and honor
the enormity of what we experience in
our bodies and our spirits.
It is time to bring our shared wound
edges closer together. Communal
lament, says Barbara Holmes, “allows
the pain to escape and stitches us to our
neighbors.” We affirm the wrongness of
our circumstances, recognize injustice
in the losses, and cry out for change.
In so doing, we reach for healing and
create a shared hope for the future.
What starts with deep sorrow often
ends in profound peace.
DESPITE OUR CULTURAL PREFERENCE for happiness and
comfort, a fully integrated life acknowledges the truth of loss
and injustice.
This time in our world is certainly filled with weariness and
ongoing grief as we mourn the many disruptions and health
challenges brought by the pandemic. Positivity and gratitude
are good disciplines for body and mind, but sometimes the
opposite reaction is necessary. While it may seem counter-
intuitive, recovering the ancient practice of lament can help
to shape our response in this time so that the way forward is
hopeful and healing.
Quilted Comrades
Jess Polanshek
ofthehills.com
20 spiritualityhealth.com march / april 2022

2. Some healthcare organizations hold reflection rounds
at the end of the day. Staff can sit together and name the
traumas they have experienced, releasing them to the care
of the group. Grief walking is rising in popularity as small
groups of people join one another to mindfully walk while
being guided in their acknowledgement of loss. The beauty
of the natural world can assist restoration and renewal—
walking or hiking with others in nature connects us to each
other and the earth in ways that remind us of the rhythms of
life. A nonprofit called Wild Grief offers this both virtually
and physically for all sorts of loss experiences.
Some faith communities offer services of lament. Sitting
shiva is an ancient mourning practice but its wisdom can
be adapted to our current needs. Sitting together, holding
each other physically and spiritually, setting aside the time
as essential, and even preparing meals for each other are
aspects of communal healing.
There is no single way to join together in lament. But
unlike our society’s communal outrage and resentful
complaint, lament moves us toward a healing wholeness.
It starts in empathy for the shared pain we experience and
always ends in hope. It knits us together with one another
for the common good. It is time to recapture the wisdom of
lament. S&H
How may we practically engage in
lament? First, we must pause and recognize the
reality of our collective and individual life.
Second, we ponder who will join us on this jour-
ney. Communal lament requires trust that others
who are sharing our grief will be safe companions.
Gatherings should be intentionally planned regard-
ing theme, space, time, and practice.
Third, our practice is most beneficial if it is
multisensory and has spaces for quiet reflection
as well as for vocal participation. Art, music, dance,
bodily movement, prayer, eating, drinking, and even
clothing are possible components. But simplify
enough that the power of acknowledgement can be
palpably shared.
Lastly, make sure there is a shared conclusion.
End on a note that allows the community to leave
with shared hope that their losses matter in a way
that is future-building rather than destructive
or despairing. The arc of lament goes from loud
complaint and sorrow to companionship in loss
and finally to hopeful restoration. We feel we have
been heard and receive comfort that this moment
doesn’t have the last word.
It’s the beauty outside.
It’s the beauty inside.
march / april 2022 spiritualityhealth.com 21