The author decides to give up alcohol completely after over a decade of its negative influences on their life, including painful injuries, legal issues, damaged relationships, and deteriorating mental health. They drove past a liquor store but decided drinking would not make them better and would only continue to destroy them and those around them. This is the first time the author has consciously committed to removing alcohol from their life entirely, as past attempts at moderation did not work. Their 25th birthday is approaching in 10 days, and they want to finally keep a long-ago promise to themselves to get their life in order by that age.

1. DAY 1: OCTOBER 6, 2012
Drinkingalcohol isnota part of whoI am, butit has probably beenthe mostinfluential aspectfornearly
a decade. The painful injuries,the legalcompmlications,the collapse of somanyrelationships,andthe
over-all diminishmentof mymental healthare all resultsof the same culprit. Icouldhave dieda
thousandtimes;Icouldhave killedathousandpeople. If somethingdoesn’tchange,I’msure one of
those optionsare nottoo far downthe line forme.
So thisisDay 1: OperationWhiskeyCarousel. Idon’tknow whythe fuck I nameditthat, butI like
whiskeyandIalwaysendupin the same place everytime. Sofuckyou if youthinkit’s a lame title. Your
face is a lame title.
I didn’tplanoncreatingany elaborate missionstoday,and I certainlydidn’tthinkI’dbe revisitingthe
bloggingworlduntil about4:30 inthe afternoon,lessthantwohoursawayfrommy presenthunched
disposition. Ona side-note, Ireallyneedafuckingbackto my computerchair,which I believe is
technicallyanottoman. Ifeel like the Unabomber. Anyways,Iwas onmy wayto a liquorstore (I like to
fluctuate inmy choice of market. Makes me feel lessjudged.) insearchof a nice redto accompany the
Thai foodextravaganzaIhadjust ordered. It’snotlike Ihad a revelationoranythinggaylike that,but
for some reason Idrove past BargainBeersand Spirits(whataname).
At firstI figureditwasmyhangoverand that I’dbe back there tomorrow,bitingatthe bit,but thenI
thought, ‘Well whatgoodwill thatdome then? I know how itfeelstobe drunk,it doesn’tmake me any
better,andall it seemstodo isdestroyme and everythingaroundme.’ Okay,maybe Ididn’tgetthat
deep/eloquentwithit,but thatwasthe overall gistof mythoughtprocess. Theysay alcohol doesn’t
change anything,andwhenyouwake upthe nextmorning,yourproblemsare still there. Andbygod
those AA fucksare right,because whenyouwake up,yourproblemsare magnifiedbecause yourhead
hurts andyou can’t findyourcar or your pants.
Thisis the firsttime I’ve evermade the consciousdecisiontocutalcohol outof my life completely. I
triedsaying‘I’mgoingtotake iteasy for awhile,’andthatdidn’twork. Itriedthe ‘I’ll onlydrinkbeer’
routine andthatdidn’twork. I’ve triedeverysinglecompromise one canmake withalcohol andnone of
themworked.
ThenI thoughtback to a compromise Imade withmyself whenIwas21. I promisedmyself Iwould
cleanup myact bythe time Iturned 25. I also saidI wouldquitsmokingcigarettesbythentoo,butlet’s
justtake thisone vowat a time;I’mnot a fuckingmonk. My 25th
birthdayisin10 days. Maybe thisis
the one promise Ican actuallykeepwithmyself.
So here we go. Nomore Jameson,nomore beer,notevena free pinacoladainMexico. Not that I’ve
everlikedpinacoladasorhave any intentionof goingtoMexico(Iheartheyhave free pinacoladas,
though),butyouknowwhat I mean. Somethinginmylife needstochange,andany ree-ree cansee

2. whatpart needs the fixing. I’ve hurtenoughpeople andI’ve abusedmyhealthand bodyenoughtolast
me the restof mylife.
So here we go. Day 1 is almostthrough,andI haven’texplodedorcriedortremored(nota real word) or
whateverthe fucktheysayyou’ll feel yourfirstday. Honestly,Ifeel nothing. I’mabit bored,butthat’s
aboutit. But there’saBar Rescue marathongoingon (fuckinga, Jon Taffer) andhey, Istill pickedupthe
Thai.