published

1. What to do about that pit in your
stomach in this terrifying American
moment
Alia E. Dastagir - USA TODAY
If you're scared and anxious, you're not alone. Maybeyou're afraid about what happens
tonight,ormaybe you're afraid because you're playing thetapeforward. You see words
on thenews and on social mediathat at one timefelt unfathomableto most of us in a
modern American context: "coup," "civil war," "insurrection." If there's a word for what
thisfeels like,we don't have it. "There are just no words. I thinkthat sums it up," said
Mary Alvord, a licensed psychologist inRockville,Maryland. "It's so much emotionthere
are no words to express therange."
On the dayCongress was set to formallydeclare JoeBiden president-elect,chaos
erupted in Washington,D.C., when a mob ofTrump supporters stormed theCapitol.
Four peoplewere killed,theNationalGuard was deployed andmore than50 people
were arrested.
Some watched in disbelief.Others noted their predictionsthisday wouldcome. Allof
us are witnessing thedeepening of our nation's fracture, thepower of misinformation
and lies. Many Americans are fearful and outraged.
"This is an unprecedented moment and peoplehaveevery right to feel theway that
they'refeeling, but we have to takecare of ourselves even when thingsare bad,"said
VaileWright,senior directorof health care innovation at the American Psychological
Association. "It's about focusing on what's in your control – your thoughts,your
feelings, your behavior– and it's about doing a check-in with yourself and asking, 'how
am I doing and how can I assert some controlin a situationthat feels out of control?'"
Focus on what you can control
Wednesday night feels like a historiclow in a year of relentless terrors and traumas: the
pandemic, natural disasters, racial unrest.
"It's been a disruptive year, and peopleare craving reassurance around theirfutures,"
said Anita Kanti,author of “Behaving Bravely: How to Mindshift Life's Challenges."

2. This moment does not offer that.What it does offer is an opportunityto continue to
navigatea new normal in which we recognize how tenuous it allis. How tenuous it
always was. The onlycertainty we have is around our own attitudesand behaviors.This
perspective, Kantisaid, can help us "not feel disempowered with outward chaos."
Afton Kapuscinski, director ofthe PsychologicalServicesCenter at Syracuse University,
said it's important to focus on what you can changerather than on what you can't.
"If you can take constructive action, use your feelings to fuel that effort," she said.
Look at the big picture
Watching thechaos on TV, thechilling images on loop,it's easy to catastrophize.But
experts say it's important to lookat thebig picture. "Many ofus are justifiably
experiencing shock, fear and anger ... yet becoming paralyzed or overwhelmed by
thoseemotions can contribute to hopelessness and mental health difficultyat atime
when we are already dealing with so many challengesas a nation,"Kapuscinski said. "A
pitfallthat oftenincreases thelikelihoodofbeing 'stuck' is failing to lookat thefull
picture and focusing more narrowly on a single event or series of upsetting events."
Kapuscinski said she heard peoplecommenting that "our democracyis falling apart."
There's a way to acknowledgethemagnitudeof this moment while also taking into
account otherdatapoints, she said, that suggest our democracyis stillfunctioning –
courts have found our electionprocesses are fair and counts are accurate, and most
lawmakers desire to upholdthewill of thepeople.
"If you are struggling emotionallytoday,tryto 'zoom out' and see if you are neglecting
any important hopeful,positiveindicators," she said.
Take a break
When stressful situations beginto impact basic functioning, it's important to enforce
limits. If you're having a visceral reactionto watching or reading the news – that pit in
your stomach, for example – consider shutting down. Take a walk. Read a book.
"Youshould takebreaks from watching thenews, especiallynow because what we're
seeing are thesame images over and over again,"Wright said. "Even if youfeel you're
going to learn something new, you're probablynot.This includes social mediatoo."
Also be mindful of activitiesyou engagein right beforebed. If you want to check the
news one more time, make sure to giveyourself at least an hour to calm down.
Ground yourself

3. This will lookdifferent for everyone.
It can be breath work, holding your breath in for a full count and letting it out for a full
count. It can be dinner with family, a watch partywith friends, or a phonecall to
someone you know will make your feelings a priority.
Reach for what centers and de-stresses you.
"Youneed to calm down, so that you can come back and have some perspective,"
Alvord said.
Practice gratitude
Kapuscinski recognizes it may seem counterintuitive in themidst of multiplenational
crises, but research indicatesgratitudepracticeimproves well-being in the face of
adversity and distress.
"Examine your life and context at micro and macro levels and identifywhat is going well
rather thanwhat is going wrong," she said. "Gratitudeis not about minimizing tragicor
difficult events, rather, it is about elevating and enjoying thepositiveones."