Ukrainian Dating Guide by Krystyna: The First Steps to Success with a Ukrainian Woman

by Krystyna Trushynaby Krystyna Trushynaby Krystyna Trushynaby Krystyna Trushyna
Copyright © 2011 by Krystyna Trushyna (UkrainianDatingBlog.com). All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without
written permission from the publisher.

Ukrainian Dating Guide by Krystyna
2
Table of contents:
About Krystyna
Introduction: if a Ukrainian woman and a Western man come together…
Chapter 1: Intercultural Relationships and Intercultural Differences:
The Definition
Chapter 2: The Basic Guide to the Ukrainian lifestyle:
The important information you should know
2.1) Ukrainian History: The Most Interesting Facts
2.2) Ukrainian Culture and Mentality
Chapter 3: The three intercultural differences
which can kill every Ukrainian-Western relationship
3.1) The False Expectations of Western Men and Ukrainian Women
in Cross-Cultural Relationships
3.2) Kisses & Hugs: Showing Affection in Ukrainian and Western
Culture
3.3) To pay or not to pay: why do Ukrainian women
always expect to be invited?
Chapter 4: Secrets to a Successful Western-Ukrainian Relationship:
Ukrainian Dating Tips by Krystyna

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About Krystyna, the dating author and founder of UkrainianDatingBlog.com
For all men, Ukrainian (online) dating can be a difficult
process. In addition to the normal phobias that all
adult men struggle with, some men simply aren't
excited by the potential mates that they meet in their
daily lives. For these men, the ideal mate would
combine traditional values with a touch of the exotic.
This ideal is especially hard to find in the casual
world of Western dating. While casual companionship
and a fun time have their merits, many men harbor a
healthy desire to marry and settle down for the long
run.
Many seekers have heard of the attractive qualities of
Ukrainian women. Countless reports have held that dating or even marrying a
Ukrainian woman can be simply divine. Like other Eastern European nations,
Ukraine is renowned for producing women that are beautiful but humble, confident
yet never brash. For those who don't know where to start,
UkrainianDatingBlog.com is a fantastic resource, featuring the dating advice
of Ukrainian dating coach Krystyna.
Krystyna is a Ukrainian intellectual with a deep interest in matters of the heart.
Born in Kiev, Ukraine, Krystyna moved to Germany to pursue an education in
English, Turkish and Italian studies. As a fresh college graduate from Goethe
University in Germany, Krystyna had virtually unlimited choices for her future. She
ultimately found her calling in helping Western men meet outstanding
Ukrainian partners.
In her regularly updated blog posts, Krystyna has shown a keen eye for gender
studies and relationships. She has a deep understanding of what it takes to gain
the respect of refined Ukrainian women. Well-meaning Western men often make
unintentional but crippling mistakes when getting to know Ukrainian women.
In a recent blog post, Krystyna insightfully pointed out that Western men often err
in getting too personal too quickly when messaging Ukrainian women. With this
and many other valuable pointers, Krystyna has made great progress in connecting
outstanding Ukrainian women with respectual Western suitors.

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Introduction:
if a Ukrainian woman and a Western man come together…
If a Ukrainian woman and a Western man come together, in my experience, the
relationship can either grow into one of perfect unity or degenerate into a cold war
that cannot be resolved. In the end, those couples who take the time to understand
their differences are the ones who end up bridging the culture gap and forge a
happy union.
Western men seek Ukrainian brides when they want beautiful and loving wives
willing to make their homes and husband the focus of their lives. Some men are
unprepared for the cultural differences that arise from bringing a woman into
an unfamiliar world. They can lose patience with a wife who is not stupid but
simply lost and misunderstanding how to respond in unfamiliar circumstances.
You see, while a Western man wants a woman to center her orbit on the family, he
often underestimates how frustrated he will be when that wife does not fit in
enough with his world to get things done as he expects. A Ukrainian bride who
wants to make her marriage succeed should seek to learn as much as possible
about the culture where she will settle, so she can offer her family the full benefits
of a Western life.
A Ukrainian bride will need her Western husband to understand her culture as
well, so he can best guide and support her when necessary. The more he
understands where she is coming from, the fewer misunderstandings there are
likely to be as they build a family together.
Western men and Ukrainian women marry because each is looking to find security
with the other. When they take the time to learn the particular customs and
manners of each other's home cultures, I believe that these cross-cultural
marriages are some of the strongest I have ever seen.

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Chapter 1:Chapter 1:Chapter 1:Chapter 1:
INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS AND INTERCULTURAL DIFFERENCES:INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS AND INTERCULTURAL DIFFERENCES:INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS AND INTERCULTURAL DIFFERENCES:INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS AND INTERCULTURAL DIFFERENCES:
THE DEFINITIONTHE DEFINITIONTHE DEFINITIONTHE DEFINITION
The Western world (USA, Canada, Germany, France or Italy) has long been referred
to as a "Melting Pot," a place where different cultures, races and creeds come
together to live and thrive as a community. All the world's cultures have something
unique to offer, and the power of love bringing two people of vastly different cultural
upbringings together is often a beautiful occurrence.
However, even in my own experiences, culture is sometimes a delicate and touchy
subject, and for an intercultural relationship to succeed both people must come to
learn, understand, and respect one another and their respective differences.
What is culture, really
Everybody has some idea of culture, but in reality it is a hard concept to nail down.
If someone goes to the opera and sips martinis, they might be considered
"cultured." In reality, culture is a much broader term. Due to our upbringing, each
and every one of us is a member of our own specific culture. Race, religion,
morality, musical tastes, education and thousands of other variables impact
culture, but essentially culture is who you are, where you're from, and where you
feel comfortable.

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Fine then, but what are intercultural relationships
This is less tricky. Intercultural relationships are simply two people from different
cultures who have come together. For example, my dad is an atheist, while my mom
is a devout Methodist. Believe me, they had some challenges rectifying these
widely different worldviews!
One of my best friends, Max, is half-Ukrainian (his mother was a Ukrainian citizen.
Now she is a German citizen who speaks broken German and his father is a
German). They fell in love through a dating agency, and have remained together for
over 20 years. Theirs is a truly amazing story of love defying all obstacles.
Yes, yes, but how do you make them work?
This question is a bit trickier to answer. To answer it in two words: patience and
understanding. Do you remember my friend Max’ parents? His dad has been trying
(hard!) for over ten years to learn Russian and even Ukrainian (as for me, Ukrainian
is more difficult than Russian).
His mother has been nothing but patient with him, as any language is difficult to
learn and Russian is one of the hardest. In return, his father helps his mom when
she needs to understand some difficult form or wordy piece of German literature.
They understand and respect their differences and shortcomings, and therefore
grew closer as people and as husband and wife.
Culture is a beautiful thing, and as with all beautiful things it deserves patience,
love, respect and understanding. Intercultural relationships can be amazing, but
will truly flourish with those four ingredients.

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THE BASIC GUIDE TO THE UKRAINIANTHE BASIC GUIDE TO THE UKRAINIANTHE BASIC GUIDE TO THE UKRAINIANTHE BASIC GUIDE TO THE UKRAINIAN CULTURECULTURECULTURECULTURE::::
THE IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU SHOULD KNOWTHE IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU SHOULD KNOWTHE IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU SHOULD KNOWTHE IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU SHOULD KNOW
My country, Ukraine has evolved tremendously in recent years. As most people
know, Ukraine was part of the Soviet Union, until its unity dissolved in the early
1990s. Shortly after, it was very difficult for the Ukraine people to find jobs and
stabilize financially.
As a woman, my education was limited and so were my job skills. Eventually,
Ukraine's economy improved as we continued to refine our governing body, laws
and country. Ukraine has some great assets, such as our export industry. In fact,
Ukraine is one of the largest manufacturers of space ships and satellites and is a
leader in space exploration and space missions!
Ukraine has some of the most scenic nature in the world. There are a beautiful
variety of picturesque mountains, rolling hills and my personal favorite, the rivers.
We do enjoy four seasons throughout the year but get plenty of snow. October and
November are my favorite months, as the leaves change colors and fall from the
trees and the air is crisp.
I tend to do a lot of cooking and baking during the colder months, as I have always
enjoyed doing, especially Borscht. In my opinion, cooking has always traditionally
been a woman's job, as was household chores, such as cleaning and laundry.
Nowadays, the men tend to help out in the house more than when I was a young
girl. Despite being somewhat of a traditionalist, being a part of history and the
evolution of my country has been an amazing experience.
2.1) Ukrainian History: The Most Interesting Facts
The Ukraine is a beautiful country that is very rich history and culture. Legend says
that Saint Andrew visited the land by the Dnipro River and envisioned a great
Christian city being built there. Saint Andrew’s prophecy came true, and today that
city is known as Kyiv. Allow me to give you a brief history of the Ukraine and its
people.

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Kyivan Rus
For many years, various Slavic tribes roamed the area that is now modern-day
Ukraine. Although we do not know the exact date, the tribes unified and formed the
Slavic state of Kyivan Rus sometime in the ninth century. This state was the
beginning of the Ukraine, which prospered because its capital, Kyiv was in the
middle of the major trade routes. King Volodymyr the Great introduced Christianity
to his people.
I believe that he invited Byzantine priests to baptize his subjects and initiated them
to the Eastern rite of Christianity. His son Yaroslav the Wise built the Saint Sophia
Cathedral and also instituted the first legal code. After Yaroslav died, his sons
began dividing the kingdom, and the state of Kyivan Rus started to decline.
As a part of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth
Since there was no central ruler, the Ukraine was taken over by outsiders, and
eventually it became part of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. I believe that
during this time, Ukrainians began to form their own identity and became united by
their religion and language. The Polish were Roman Catholic and made laws that
suppressed the Orthodox religion.

9
To counter these laws, Ukrainians officially became either Eastern Orthodox or
Uniate Catholic under the Brest-Litovsk Agreement. This agreement subjected the
Uniates to the Roman pope but allowed them to retain their own bishops and Slavic
liturgy, which is still used in churches today.
During this time, some Ukrainians banded together to fight invading Turks, and to
protect the peasants from Polish persecution. Known as Cossacks, these fighters
proved to be a formidable means of resistance.
As a part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire
Over time, Poland became divided and ceased to exist. The eastern part of the
Ukraine was taken over by Russia, and the western side became part of the Austro-
Hungarian Empire. During this time, western Ukrainians enjoyed many freedoms,
including religion, language and literature.
I believe that there was a revival of Ukrainian culture that had been kept dormant
for so long. On the other hand, eastern Ukrainians were not so lucky. Under
Russian rule, Ukrainians were encouraged to assimilate, and their language and
culture was suppressed.
After World War I
Ukrainians enjoyed brief independence after World War I, but this ended with the
rise of the Soviet Union. Under Josef Stalin, collective farms were established, and
intellectuals were brutally suppressed. Stalin also ordered a false famine, known as
the Holodmar, which was responsible for the deaths of millions of Ukrainians.
Independence (1991-present day)
I am happy to say that once again, Ukrainians have their own country. Following
the collapse of the Soviet Union, Ukraine declared independence on August 24,
1991. The new government allows for religious and cultural freedom, as well as
freedom of speech.

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Although so many years of suppression have left Ukrainians a bit wary, I do not feel
that their spirit was ever crushed. I firmly believe that Ukrainians are true
survivors, and they are finally ready to take their place in today’s world.
2.2) Ukrainian Culture and Mentality
Lately, I have been thinking a great deal about the Ukraine, my home country.
Maybe it is because Christmas is not that far away, and we tend to remember home
and family during this time of year. I feel that many people tend to think that
Ukrainians are the same as Russians, but this idea is completely false. Maybe by
explaining a little bit about the Ukrainian culture, I can clear up some
misunderstandings.
Hospitality of Ukrainians
Ukrainians are some of the warmest and most generous people in the world, but
they can be very reserved until they get to know you. Personally, I feel that the best
way for people to become better acquainted is by sharing a meal together, and
Ukrainians truly love to feed their guests. It is considered an honor to have enough
food to share, so it is considered very disrespectful if you decline an invitation to eat
in someone’s home.

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Ukrainian food
You should also be prepared to try a little bit of everything, including the vodka that
usually accompanies a meal. Ukrainian food is simple, yet hearty and not too
heavily spiced. For instance, you will typically find soup, cabbage rolls, sausage and
stewed fruit on the menu. One of my favorite dishes is potato-filled varenyky, or
pierogi as it is often called.
Bread is a very important part of the meal and in Ukrainian culture too. You will
typically find rye bread on the table for everyday meals, but for special meals, such
as Christmas and Easter dinners, you will be treated to babka, nut rolls and poppy
seed rolls.
Family values in Ukrainian society
Family is very important to Ukrainians. We love and respect our elders, so it is very
common to find three generations living under one roof or very close to one another.
Ukrainian women embrace their roles as mothers, and they will usually choose to
stay home with their children instead of working outside of the home.
If a mother does have an outside job, the grandmother will most likely be the one to
take care of the children. It is still common for a man to ask his girlfriend’s father

12
for permission to get married, and weddings usually become major family
celebrations.
Ukrainian holidays
For Ukrainians, holidays are also family affairs. On major holidays, such as
Christmas and Easter, we still observe traditions that have been handed down from
generation to generation. Many of our customs actually pre-date Christianity.
For example, Ukrainians are famous for their elaborate Easter eggs, which are
known as pysanky. However, the egg has also symbolized the new life of spring, and
has been a part of celebrations since pagan times.
You must understand that for many years, the Ukrainian people had no country of
their own, yet they were able to keep their identity alive through family, food and
tradition. I believe that this curious mix of tradition and religion makes our culture
truly unique.

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THETHETHETHE THREETHREETHREETHREE INTERCULTURALINTERCULTURALINTERCULTURALINTERCULTURAL DIFFERENCESDIFFERENCESDIFFERENCESDIFFERENCES
WHICH CAN KILL EVERY UKRAINIANWHICH CAN KILL EVERY UKRAINIANWHICH CAN KILL EVERY UKRAINIANWHICH CAN KILL EVERY UKRAINIAN----WESTERN RELATIONSHIPWESTERN RELATIONSHIPWESTERN RELATIONSHIPWESTERN RELATIONSHIP
3.1) The False Expectations of Western Men and Ukrainian Women in Cross-
Cultural Relationships
Western men and Ukrainian women often make wonderful matches. I have seen
many happy and loving couples in fulfilling cross-cultural relationships. In my
opinion, these relationships succeed when they are based on a foundation of
honesty and realistic expectations.
False expectations can hurt any young relationship's chances of developing
into a long-term partnership. Western men and Ukrainian women who are looking
for love will be able to choose their partners wisely if they first learn to recognize
their own false expectations.
False expectations plague all relationships, not just cross-cultural ones. Especially
when the initial contact between the partners is made over the internet or through
phone calls, it is easy for both sides to fill in the blanks of their partner with
beautiful fantasies.

14
They imagine that the other person is a perfect angel who will instantly solve all of
their problems. They think that they will experience relationship bliss as soon as
they meet the other person. They imagine a relationship that will be free of fights
and full of infinite love right from the very beginning.
Having hopes for a happy future is only natural, but I know from my own
experience that putting the other person in a relationship up on a pedestal
inevitably leads to disappointment. No one can live up to the fantasy.
A Western man tends to fantasize about having the perfect wife. He wants someone
who is pretty and loyal. He envisions someone who is smart, sweet, and fluent in
English. Often he desires an ideal homemaker who both already understands what
it is like to live in the West and who will make his home a heavenly sanctuary. A
Western man also tends to falsely expect that his potential partner will trust him
completely right away, and share all of her deepest thoughts and emotions with
him.
A Ukrainian woman usually fantasizes about having a perfect husband. She wants
a handsome, strong provider. She dreams of a manly protector. She believes that
her Western life will be a life of luxury, because she thinks all Western men are rich
and do not have to worry about money. In my experience, Ukrainian women are
often shocked to learn that it can be just as hard for men to make money in the
West as it is for men in the Ukraine.
Couples who realize the difference between fantasy and reality have the best
chances of success. Everyone has flaws. What is most important is finding a
companion with similar life goals, someone who wants the same things from long-
term dating as you do. Anyone who is willing to work on a relationship and
overcome obstacles is worth his or her weight in gold.
3.2) Kisses & Hugs: Showing Affection in Ukrainian and Western Culture
Women in Ukraine and other countries of the former Soviet Union are much more
reserved when it comes to showing affection to men, especially in public. During the

15
Communist years, young women were taught that public displays of affection are
not appropriate and immoral.
They were to show their love and admiration to their husbands only behind the
closed doors. Although I grew up mostly after the fall of communism, my parents
still taught me the value of being modest and never showing affection in public.
When dating a Ukrainian woman, a Western man may be confused as her
words may differ from her behavior. She may say that she likes him, yet
remain very reserved.
While Western women show their feelings physically, by touching, hugging or
kissing, Ukrainian women may go as far as holding hands, but would refrain from
hugging or kissing. These mixed signals may puzzle a Western man who is used to
women being more open-minded about men-women relationships.
Unlike Western women, Ukrainians like to keep to themselves in the early stages of
their relationships. They don't like to discuss their feelings right away. They want
the relationships to develop first, before letting the men know how they feel about
them.
Ukrainian women may allude to their feelings in a shy, reserved manner that
may seem old-fashioned to Western men. In my opinion, this is because how

16
these women were brought up. The culture, the upbringing plays a big role in how
women behave. For years, Ukrainian women were taught to act modestly around
men and to keep their feelings to themselves. Even today, in modern culture,
anything more is considered bad manners.
On occasion, especially early in a relationship, a Ukrainian woman may allow a
modest display of affection by a kiss on a cheek or by holding hands in private.
However, it still remains a no-no in public places.
The old generation in Ukraine perceives public displays of affection very immoral
and can openly reprimand a young couple for acting so. In private, a woman may
express her feelings by hugs and kisses as the relationship progresses.
Western men who are interested in building a lasting relationship with Ukrainian
women should be patient when it comes to hugs or kisses. Women need time to get
to know the men before they show any signs of affection to them.
3.3) To pay or not to pay: why do Ukrainian women always expect to be
invited?
One of the biggest cultural differences between Ukrainian women and American
men is that the man is expected to invite the woman for a date, and he is expected
to pay for the date himself. Without knowing our culture, men find this insulting
and consider it old-fashioned. We aren't being rude; it's just one of the many
differences in our cultures.
Men looking for a Russian or Ukrainian bride should be familiar with the cultural
differences and differences in traditions to avoid a potential problem. Learning
about the culture and dating traditions in our part of the world can help men
understand a future partner. The differences are also evident from the woman's
point of view. Many Ukrainian women assume American men are similar to
Ukrainian men.
Ukrainian women and American women are very different in their expectations
about dating and marriage. In Western cultures, women are more independent and

17
will offer to split the bill for a date or pay for it themselves. As she spends more time
in the Western culture, some Ukrainian women will offer to split the bill because
she feels like it is the right thing to do, but this does not mean she is comfortable
with this practice.
Another factor for American men to take into consideration is that the Ukrainian
society is very traditional. In our culture, the man is the breadwinner and the head
of the family. The woman's role in the family is the mother and takes care of her
husband by being a good wife. Children grow up learning these ideals and it is
taken for granted that the man should pay for the woman.
Once American men understand these two cultural difference, he can learn how to
have a successful relationship with a Ukrainian woman. He can learn more about
differences in dating and family life by discussing it with his partner, but be careful
to approach the subject with caution. This is a sensitive subject for most women,
and he will want to avoid offending her. Men looking to date a woman from the
Ukraine should accept that he will be expected to take the initiative in asking her
out, and he is also expected to pay for each date. Some women will eventually
become comfortable with paying or splitting the bill, but not all women do.

18
SECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL WESTERNSECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL WESTERNSECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL WESTERNSECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL WESTERN----UKRAINIAN RELATIONSHIPUKRAINIAN RELATIONSHIPUKRAINIAN RELATIONSHIPUKRAINIAN RELATIONSHIP::::
UKRAINIAN DATING TIPS BY KRYSTYNAUKRAINIAN DATING TIPS BY KRYSTYNAUKRAINIAN DATING TIPS BY KRYSTYNAUKRAINIAN DATING TIPS BY KRYSTYNA
Building a strong relationship takes lots of love and patience, even if both people
are from the same culture. If you are both from different cultures, you will need to
understand each other’s background in order to get along. I believe many people
become frustrated and end the relationship because they feel that the cultural
barrier is too high to overcome. This simply is not true, so I have put together
some tips to make your cross-cultural experience easier and more rewarding.
Tip #1: Learn about the country, culture, mentality and traditions of your
partner
First of all, I believe that you need to educate yourself about your partner’s country.
You can search online and find many articles about Ukrainian history and culture.
Depending on where you live, there may be a Ukrainian church or community
center nearby that you can visit. I believe that many Ukrainian communities hold
festivals during certain times of the year, and this is a great chance for you to
experience the food and culture firsthand.

19
Tip #2: Learn the language of your foreign wife in order to understand her
thoughts and soul
I feel that you also need to realize that there will be a language barrier to overcome.
Many Ukrainians speak English, but they may not be completely fluent. I personally
think it would be immensely helpful for westerners to learn some Ukrainian or
Russian (every Ukrainian woman can speak and understand Russian).
You can find free programs online that will help you learn the Ukrainian and
Russian language and alphabet, and this may help to bridge the communication
gap.
Learn Russian online:
http://www.russianlessons.net/ (for free)
http://learningrussian.net/ (for free)
http://russianonweb.com/
Learn Ukrainian online:
http://www.ukma.kiev.ua/ua/pub/websites/ufl/index.htm (a free online
course for beginners)
http://www.transparent.com/learn-ukrainian/
http://www.funkyukrainian.com/
Tip #3: Accept the culture of your partner
You also need to be aware of what is considered socially acceptable between your
two cultures. For example, Ukrainians are typically not very demonstrative in
public, and they usually reserve displays of affection for inside the home. I know
that Ukrainians may seem reserved at first, but it is part of their nature to slowly
ease into any relationship.
So, don’t be offended if your attempts at being affectionate are not reciprocated
right away. I feel that both people need to see themselves as individuals and place
their own set of personal values higher than those of their respective cultures. This
is a big step in breaking down cultural barriers.

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Tip # 4: Respect, understanding and love
I personally believe that one of the most important factors in any relationship is
respect for each other. When you respect your partner as an individual, you will be
able to appreciate and embrace your cultural differences.
Of course, both of you will also need to have a lot of patience with one another as
you work through your differences together. I believe that if you follow these
suggestions and truly attempt to understand each other, you will be able to create a
great future together.
For more dating tips and advice, visit us atFor more dating tips and advice, visit us atFor more dating tips and advice, visit us atFor more dating tips and advice, visit us at
UkrainianDatingBlog.comUkrainianDatingBlog.comUkrainianDatingBlog.comUkrainianDatingBlog.com!!!!
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Ukrainian Dating Guide by Krystyna: The First Steps to Success with a Ukrainian Woman

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