The document is a first person account that describes how the speaker was never first at various accomplishments, skills, and activities. It lists over 30 things the speaker was not first at, including art, music, business, sports, dancing, magic, mountain climbing, public speaking, debates, memorization, and breathing. However, it concludes by saying that the one thing the speaker was first at was capturing the heart of the person reading the document and having their signature on every drop of the speaker's blood.

1. THE VERY 1ST ONE
Never ever 1st at emolliently fructifying artistry; delinquently squandering countless
sheets of brilliantly bonded paper; and vibrantly ecstatic paint,
Never ever 1st at blissfully mellifluous whistling; preposterously bellowing like a rabid
dog; instead of diffusing into stupendously mesmerizing music,
Never ever 1st at adroitly cunning business; insanely hobbling into mists of utter
meaninglessness; at even the very tiniest insinuation of dexterously prejudiced
manipulation,
Never ever 1st at insurmountably rapacious titillation; bizarrely floundering to be
even a mercurial iota aroused; even as boundless tawdry seductresses danced in gay
abandon all around,
Never 1st at the inter-college competitions; disintegrating into an infinite particles of
clammy nothingness; even before alighting a single foot on the star studded stage,
Never ever 1st at ingeniously eclectic mimicry; not even able to remember the
cadence of my very own voice; just an evanescent instant after I wholeheartedly
spoke,
Never ever 1st at exotically tantalizing dance; penuriously ending up licking
deliriously rotten dust on the floor instead; as the entire world beautifully
cavorted and flirted upon the same,
Never ever 1st at fantastically enamoring magic; clumsily erasing every bit of line
from my own palm; instead of marvelously portending the future of countless others
instead,
Never ever 1st at exuberantly adventurous mountain-climbing; sinking an infinite feet
beneath my grave; the moment I tried to clamber up the very first jaggedly ebullient
stone,
Never ever 1st at spreading the essence of timeless humanity; as the instant I unfurled
my mouth to lecture; indiscriminately communal racialism mercilessly perpetuated
every echelon of the unsurpassably sensitive society,
Never ever 1st at engendering people to uninhibitedly laugh; with the entire
atmosphere breaking into oceans of hysterical tears; the instant I tried cracking one
of my best mugged jokes,

2. Never ever 1st at brilliantly outclassing my compatriots; being ruthlessly massacred
into worthlessly inane ash; even before I could dream of venturing into intrepidly
exhilarating territory,
Never ever 1st at explicit elocutions and debates; egregiously shooing away every
speck of audience infront of me; as I disdainfully stuck on the very first alphabet for
hours immemorial,
Never ever 1st at punctiliously synchronizing my surroundings; with the ambience
around me always resembling a gutter of squalidly abhorrent and disgustingly rotten
tomatoes,
Never ever 1st at vociferously cheering my comrades; with even the most
thunderously reverberating of my voice miserably stuttering to reach even the
chamber of my sordid mouth; as the entire planet around me broke into
unequivocally untamed celebration,
Never ever 1st at replenishing my bones with luxury; as even before they holistically
stretched themselves for the same; its silken caress was already gobbled in
entirety by a bunch of parasites around,
Never ever 1st at astoundingly memorizing; as unprecedented cloudbursts of
impregnable sleep transcended over other conceivable speck in my brain;
making me yawn till even after horizons of infinite infinity,
Never ever 1st at taking quintessentially euphoric breath into my lungs; as I
obnoxiously wavered and quavered in the race for “ Survival of the fittest”;
wholesomely devoured by infinite organisms in near vicinity even before I could blow
a single whistle,
But the very 1st one in the boundlessly enchanting Universe who unassailably
conquered every beat of your heart; the very 1st one on this planet who irrefutably
captured you in the swirl of immortally endless romance; the very 1st one on this
earth who took your magnificently philanthropic signature on every blood-drop of
mine; was I; was I; and would for infinite more births I pray and by the grace of
God; always be I .