The marmites alphabetacy 23

To recap, last time Godric stumbled across a witch who-although he doesn’t know it- is his great aunt Elphaba who fled Gotham leaving Ysabell, the daughter of herself and the Grim Reaper in the care of Elendil. Upon her return to town, her enemy Laci Johnson hatched a plan to destroy Elphaba’s descendants in revenge. But first she needed information and so enlisted a hate filled girl named Meretrix to infiltrate the family. Ginny struggled under her mother’s pressure and Galinda became envious of Gok’s accent to fashion fame. Oh, and Godric’s hot. Hello hellohello! Chapter 23 is finally finished and so are my exams! For now at least. What’s more, IT’S CHRISTMAS! I promised musical numbers and I didn’t lie. But you need a certain level of Disney knowledge to appreciate them.

First things first, I have solved the glitch I have had for at least 2 years! It was an irritating grim reaper related issue that prevented me from killing sims whenever and however I wanted. Grrrrr. Oh the pain it caused. So now that it’s fixed, I’m repaying that suffering to random sims. YAY! But Bim here had it coming. Insult Elijah will yah? Hehehe...

Before we return to the main legacy family, let’s say congratulations to Mort and Ysabell who recently became parents. This is baby Susan. They decided that since neither of them was particularly normal and this had often been a source of much distress for them, they’d give their daughter a sensible name so that she had at least a small chance.

“No Dad! University’s great!” Ginny tried her best to sound convincing. “My dorm’s fab. Everyone’s really helpful. We all tidy up after ourselves and share the chores equally.” she added as she eyed the puddles of...something all over the kitchen floor. “Yes, of course I’m making friends.”Well, at least that was true. Sort of. She had friends. Sure, they weren’t close yet but that was just because they hadn’t known each other very long...Or because they had nothing in common. She suppressed a sigh as her father continued to talk. She was pretty sure she had one real friend. He might even be something more, but he was always so busy with his mascot duties...

“Sweetheart why don’t you just-” Archie began hopefully.“NO.”“But-”“I’ve done nothing wrong!” she insisted though she was not entirely convinced this was true.“I know that your mother has been more than unreasonable-”Yeah, that was one way to describe trying to force your daughter to take up your crazy research and completely illogical- not to mention often illegal inventions, refusing to listen to what she wanted to do with her life and then telling her that it wasn’t about her anyway.“But you didn’t have to leave the way that you did.” Archie continued. Ginny felt a pang of guilt followed by another of anger.

With University approaching and unable to take Farnsworth’s scientific pressure any longer, Ginny had snapped.She had told her Mum that she wanted to study Art at Shiz University . Farnsworth had apparently been shocked by this revelation although Ginny had been telling her this for years! The years of frustration and pressure erupted and, in the end, Ginny stormed away. Farnsworth, fuming, called after her saying that she had to do it. Someone had to continue the research.Ginny had turned to her father, who seemed to be topless an awful lot lately, for support but he was to polite and sweet to be of any real use. He just told her to give Farnsworth time and to try and imagine how she must be feeling even if it was her own fault. But Farnsworth had clearly never thought about how Ginny felt. Why should she do the reverse?

Dejected and miserable, Ginny silently contemplated her future. Soon, she became aware that Godric’s latest Girlfriend was standing behind her. “You can’t let her treat you like this.” Meretrix was right of course, but Ginny had been reluctant to admit it. She wasn’t keen on her brother’s girlfriend. She...unsettled her. I mean, even her name was faintly disturbing. What was that? Latin? She’s have to look up the meaning...“If I were you,” she continued. “I’d show them that they can’t push me around. Take control.”Ginny paused. “How?” she asked cautiously.“I’d pack my bags and leave for college without telling ANYONE. When they came home I’d be gone. Free to live my own life. That’s what you want isn’t it?” there was an unnerving glint in her eyes but Ginny had been too busy imagining the life she could have to notice.

Meretrix smiled as Ginny drifted off into her thoughts. It was working. “but wait,” Ginny said, emerging from her fond imaginings. “I couldn’t do that to Mum and Dad. I could never be so heartless. I could never-”“Be brave enough.” interrupted Meretrix. She was in danger of letting Ginny escape and her plan fail. “you don’t think you have the guts, that’s the only reason that you haven’t already left.”“Whatever.” said Ginny trying to ignore the rank stench of truth. “I’m not going to do that to them. I’ll just talk to them again and work things out. ” she added, in what she hoped was a defiant voice.But Meretrix could see that she had gotten to her and as Ginny walked away she called out to her. “They won’t listen. There’s only one way that you’re going to get the life that you want- you have to take it. Screw them. Think about you.”

Ginny tried to convince herself that this was utter rubbish, that Meretrix was just causing trouble. But a small voice inside of her told her that there was more truth in what she’d said than Ginny liked to admit. She’d had this future forced on her because she’d never had the courage to take control of it like her siblings had. Who was ever going to tell Godric or Galinda what to do with their destiny? Why could they have whatever life they wanted whilst Ginny had hers chosen for her? She knew that she should have stood up for herself and said something sooner. But it was too late now. Perhaps there really was only one way that she could get out of this now...

Early next morning Ginny left for University. She hoped that her family would come to understand and accept her decision. This was something she had to do. Ginny had left behind a letter explaining how she had felt all these years and why she had to go in such secrecy. In it, she said she was sorry if she had ever disappointed them and hoped to see them soon.Meretrix watched Ginny go from behind a tree with a devious grin. Sneaking into the kitchen, she removed and burned the letter before returning home to await a phone call from Godric explaining Ginny’s shocking departure. She smiled as she thought about how gullible this family were, how trusting and practised her best ‘how surprising! That’s totally new to me’ voice.

The next morning, she was on hand to comfort Farnsworth who was utterly distraught. She couldn’t believe that her daughter was gone. “I never thought that she would do something like this. Something so drastic! She must have been really upset about- I mean... I must have been really awful if she’s-”But Meretrix cut her off. “Don’t be so hard on yourself! Nothing gives her the right to act in this way!” Farnsworth gave her a puzzled look. Meretrix pressed on. “ I mean, you’ve only ever wanted the best for her haven’t you? And she throws all that away? I know that if I had a mother as generous as you, I’d consider myself soooo lucky. I’d never be so selfish as to put you in a situation like this.”

Farnsworth, who like her namesake got crankier buy the day, was easy for Meretrix to manipulate. “Yeah! I offered her everything! My fabulous inventions! My lab! My research! That’s a guaranteed living even if she’s not voted heir! And... And-”“And she threw it back in your face.” prompted Meretrix.“Yeah!”

Archie however, was not so easily persuaded. “You’re being far too harsh on her Farnsie.”“No I’m NOT! She didn’t even leave a note for God’s sake! We wouldn’t even know where she is if we hadn’t found out from her friends.”“Doesn’t that strike you as odd? Surely she would have left some explanation.” he said, an idea forming in his head“Well can you see one? Some magical invisible note that only YOU can see? Eh? Eh?! Is it written in invisible ink? Do we have to get one of those funny little pens with the special lighty thing that-”“You’re getting hysterical.”“I am NOT. Face it she clearly doesn’t care about how we feel at all. It’s like Meretrix said, a daughter should be more appreciative!”“Meretrix?” but his wife had already wandered off. “I wonder...”

This was totally unlike Ginny. However desperate she had been, she wouldn’t have done this unless someone had talked her into it. But who?Archie thought that he might have a pretty good idea.

“So er, son,” Archie began awkwardly. He had never really known how to act around his sons and had always doted on his daughters. “How are things going with Meretrix?”“Er, things are good I think... Yep, they’re good thanks. Why?” Godric replied.“I was just wondering y’know. Taking an interest ‘n’ all that jazz. Do you see Hannah much anyone?”“Hannah?” this took Godric by surprise. “No, I haven’t seen her in a while...”

Hannah had been Godric’s girlfriend before Meretrix. She was great. They had the best connection and his family loved her. She was perhaps not all that bright, but hilarious and tremendously kind.

“what exactly happened between you two?” Archie inquired cautiously. “Oh, y’know....stuff” replied Godric vaguely. In truth, he was having trouble remembering. Things had been fantastic and then something had happened that night...It’d been one hell of a party and he couldn’t really remember a great deal...

He remembered having a good time with Hannah...And that was about it. Since Godric can’t provide much insight, we’ll use Meretrix’s recollections.This was phase 1 in Laci’s plan and it could not fail. She needed a way to infiltrate the Marmite family and Godric was perfect. There had just been that pesky girlfriend to get rid off.

She flirted, batted her eyelashes and giggled sycophantically. They got on well but Godric kept going back to Hannah, laughing and joking with her. This was most annoying. She had counted on him being a typical romance sim who would abandon his girlfriend and be all over her in seconds. Evidently, he was not.

So instead, she waited till Godric was suitably intoxicated and Hannah had gone to the bathroom. Then, she turned on the waterworks and waited for Godric to notice.When he asked her what was wrong she told him that she and Hannah went to school together and that she had always taunted Meretrix for being an orphan. She said that Hannah had cornered her in the bathroom and told her to leave the party before shoving her into the wall.As ridiculous as all of this was, in his drunken state, Godric believed every word.

He confronted Hannah who obviously had no idea what was going on. She stood there bewildered as Godric yelled, watching Meretrix smirking from behind him.She couldn’t make sense of it. What had happened? What had she done? Godric wouldn’t listen to her protests and so, not knowing what else to do, she left and hadn’t seen Godric since.

Godric woke the next morning vaguely remembering that he and Hannah had broken up. He didn’t know what happened but assumed that he had done something stupid and that she had dumped him. It upset him a great deal but he knew that he must have been really inconsiderate if Hannah had seen fit to end something so good. He never dreamed that he had broken up with her. And then Meretrix had turned up and seemed to already be under the impression that they were dating. He didn’t remember this, but he didn’t not remember it either. So he had just gone along with it really.

Godric felt sorry for Ginny who’s name could no longer be said in the presence of his mother. He didn’t feel that she deserved such treatment and frankly, he was proud of her for finally standing up for herself. He resolved to leave for Uni too, to give her some company.He too left without telling anyone and in his underwear what’s more in an attempt to try and deflect some of Farnsworth’s anger.But this was just what they expected from him.

In her decidedly less dramatic world of her own, Giselle had noticed the appalling state that the house had fallen into. Farnsworth’s robots were supposed to clean but she was still having some issues with their Bolshevism matrixes and they were refusing to work for her until they were liberated from ‘the oppressors’. Knowing that she couldn’t do all the work on her own, Giselle decided that the cats- who created most of the mess- would help her.

“Come now, this just won’t do.” she began. “I’m sure that if we all work together , we get things spick and span in no time at all!” But the cats were not cooperative. Glitterglue hissed and writhed beside her. “Yeah, like Glitterglue said, HIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS!” agreed Peppermint.“We don’t want to clean! You do it if you’re so bothered. We like the mess.”Added Chistery.“But I’m sure that with just a little-”

“HHHHIIIIIISSSSSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.” hissed Glitterglue again.

“You silly billies!” Giselle giggled. “I know what you need! A song will get you in the mood to help me! It’ll be fun!”The cats froze. Giselle’s voice had a spellbinding control over animals. She could make them do whatever she wanted- like housework. “Ahem, LA!”“Flee! Flee! Quick before she gets you!” Chistery wailed. But it was too late. Her sweet little voice had caught them.

Come my little friends as we all sing a happy little working song Merry little voices clear and strong You’ve got to be kidding meCome and roll your sleeves up - so to speak - and pitch in Cleaning crud up in the kitchen as we sing along

Trill a cheery tune in the tub as we scrub a stubborn mildew stain Pluck a hairball from the shower drain to that gay refrain of a happy working songWe'll keep singing without fail - otherwise we'd spoil it

Hosing down the garbage pail and scrubbing up the toilet - ooh! *Whimper*

How we all enjoy letting loose with a little "la dadumdumdum! While we're emptying the vacuum up it's such fun to hum a happy working song A happy working song!Singing as we fetch the detergent box for the smelly shirts and the stinky socks Sing along!

If you can not sing then hum along As we're finishing our happy working song! “Ahh. . Wasn't this fun?”“Yeah, a real freakin’ good time.” Peppermint murmured angrily.“Where did she get that microphone from anyway?” “No idea” Chistery replied. “Oh, I think Glitterglue might have drunk some Cilit bang. Should we be worried?”“Nah, she’ll have squeaky clean insides. You’ve seen the advert, BANG and the dirt is gone!”

GAWJUSOnce at Uni, Godric wasted no time and immediately started to assemble a band.I seem to have had an awful lot of rock band boys lately. Sorry about that. It must be a musical family. That or another nice healthy complex developing. Incidentally, *swoon*.

“Well I’m totally in!” said the girl. “I think that first we should talk about our influences.“Great idea, so who do you like?”“The Weird Sisters, The Ramones, The Band with Rocks in, Black Flag, The Electric Mayhem oh! And Troll in the Dungeon! They’re my favourite!”“I’m Fiyero from Troll in the dungeon’s nephew!” Her jaw dropped. “No. Way. I love him! And Billie Joe! I used to be so in love with Billie Joe but now it’s all about Screaming Lord Thomas. I worship him! His playing is incredible! And as for Wee Dangerous Spike, she’s my role model!”

They continued to discuss Troll in the dungeon and the future of their own, yet to be named band. But they were soon interrupted by Meretrix who had followed her boyfriend to Uni.“Sweetie” she called sickeningly. “You said you’d walk me to class.”“But your class doesn’t start for another 3 hours!”“Yes,” she said tersely “But I figured we should give it a practise run first. I’m sure that-” she eyed the girl disapprovingly “your friend won’t mind.”

“I’m going to carry on talking to Kate for a bit. I’ll walk you to class when it’s actually time for you to go.”“But Godric!” her voice gave away her anger “I mean” she swallowed and resumed her sickly tone “Goddykins!”“By all means join us,” Kate smiled “ We’re discussing the impact of Smashing Pumpkins compared to that of Thursday.”Meretrix narrowed her eyes even further, shaking in fury ever so slightly. With an angry ‘hmph!’ she span on her stiletto and flounced away. Kate raised an eyebrow in an amused sort of way and Godric gave her an apologetic look before shaking his head and laughing.

“So I’ll see you after your lecture then?” the llama asked Ginny.“Definitely!” she grinned.“Ahoy hoy, what’s all this then?” asked Godric mischievously as he entered the dorm to find metaphorical sparks flying between his sister and a llama mascot. Indeed, things were starting to heat up between them and things were going far too smoothly for Ginny to be at all at ease with the situation. She was sure that something was due to go wrong at any moment.

Things were so hectic in the Marmite family at the moment that even Galinda had forgotten about her birthday and she NEVER forgot occasions where people were obliged to lavish gifts and attention on her. She was FINALLY a teen. Galinda had been desperate for the independence and opportunities that this brought for so long that, in comparison, presents were far less important than usual. (although still of course expected)Predictably, she became a fortune sim desperate to reach the top of the showbiz career track. Full of ideas about her future, she dashed off to show her family what a stunning teen she had become.

But unfortunately, they were somewhat preoccupied. Gok was leaving for University that day and consequently, she received only a fraction of the attention she felt she was entitled to.In an attempt to be a good sister, Galinda said goodbye to Gok and watched him leave with her parents from the window. Once he was out of sight, it seemed only right that the family should focus on her and the new level of fabulousness that her teen years had brought. However, Archie and Farnsworth continued to discuss Gok and his early success in the fashion world as a designer.Fuming, Galinda stormed back to her room thinking all manner of horrible thoughts about her brother.

She was just listing everything that sucked about her life (the only thing more annoying than Gok being the outfit she had grown up into- Bad maxis!) when she noticed a present on her floor. A small flush of excitement pierced her rage. She reminded herself that she was furious with life and, in the manner of someone who wants to appear entirely uninterested in something that’s fascinating to them , picked it up. Dear Galinda,I’m sorry that your birthday has been lost in family chaos this year. It’s accidental, Mum and Dad would never ignore it on purpose and will probably remember the day after and give you double the presents! I’m also really sorry that I’m leaving on your birthday as I know that this will only distract Mum and Dad more. This is for you, I hope it will cheer you up and I KNOW you’ll look fabulous in it. Oops! Gave it away didn’t I? Ah well, this is just a taster. Once you’re at Uni I’d be truly honoured if you’d model for me and then you can have as many outfits as you want! Sorry again, and happy birthday. lots of love Gok xoxoxo

“Gok was right! I do look fabulous!” “Oh Galinda, you look so beautiful! That dress is simply wonderful. It makes you look just like a princess!” cooed Giselle, staring in wonder at her big sister.“A smokin’ hot princess with a fantastic arse!” agreed Galinda.Giselle managed to move past her sister’s decidedly un-regal phrasing to fuss over the thousands of sequins embroidered on the bodice of the dress. “This must have taken Gok forever to sew. ”Giselle mused. “Unless, some enchanted mice helped him. I’ve heard that they’re highly talented seamstresses. Or perhaps a helpful fairy-“Yeah,” replied Galinda as Giselle continued to talk. She wondered how long Gok had spent on this and began to feel more than a little bit guilty for being so self obsessed when the day was a significant landmark for him too. Come to think of it, she didn’t treat him very well at all and yet he was always so kind to her. Perhaps she would accept his modelling offer after all. She assured herself that she wasn’t doing so out of pity-she didn’t do pity. No, like Belba said, Gok was clearly going places and there was no harm in getting a helping hand on the road to fame was there? In fact, really she would be helping him. He’d undoubtedly be far more successful with Galinda as his model.

Maybe Gok would need Galinda’s help and maybe he wouldn’t. But as soon as he reached Shiz University, it became clear that what he really needed right then was a change of clothes.“Combats?! Don’t look at me!”

Once changed into something more...Gokish, Gok arrived at the decidedly scruffy lived in dormitory that Marmite kids had frequented for generations. He was met with a causual “s’up” from Godric and a warm embrace from Ginny. “Oh I’ve missed you so much Gok!” “I’ve missed you to honey! And I can’t believe my eyes! You’re in a dress! And it has this faintly retro look about it that-”“I haven’t been shopping yet Gok.” she replied flatly. “I’m a student and therefore as skint as a skunk who’s fallen on hard times.”

“Are you sure you want to stop wearing it?” Gok asked with one eyebrow raised mischievously “Because a certain llama seems to like it.”“Gok!” Ginny’s cheeks matched her hair. “Sshhh!”He grinned. “Seriously, dresses suit you Gin, they make your bangers look fantastic!”Gok said ‘bangers’ a fraction too loud and Merlin (llama dude) momentarily faltered in his slap dance. Ginny flushed even further and hurriedly mumbled that she was going shopping right then and that she would be going alone. Gok pouted slightly but laughed and proceeded to join in with the slap dance.

Susan update!Age: ToddlerStaus: friggin’ cute and adored by her parents and extended family alike. Susan and Mort had taken a break from their jobs as shadowhunters to spend as much time with their daughter as possible. They were determined to ensure that she would never feel like an outcast or outsider as they had when they were children.But if Ysabell had been aware of her own parentage she might have given up on trying to make Susan as normal as possible.

“I had a really fantastic time Ginny. Why don’t you swing by the sports field tomorrow and after practise we’ll see a movie?” Merlin asked.“Sounds great!” “Thinking about it” he continued “ it’s just a review of mascot tactics, y’know, new ways to spell out words and stuff, so I won’t be in uniform. We’ll finally be able to see each other properly!”Obviously Ginny couldn’t see Merlin through the llama head but why had he said that they’d finally be able to see each other? She asked him and he answered her.“Well, it’s difficult to see you when I’m wearing this.” he laughed.Ginny’s draw fell open.“You don’t know what I look like?”“Well, not properly...”Merlin’s beard! What if he dumps me once he actually sees me?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Thought Ginny.But what she said was “ Ok, then! See you tomorrow!”

She explained her dilemma to an amused Gok who was sure Merlin wouldn’t give a toss about how she looked. But, upon her insistence, he agreed to help her get ready for the date. Although it was a chance to treat his big sister as a living doll so he didn’t really need that much persuading.

He told her that all she needed was an outfit that allowed her to feel beautiful but still like herself. It had to bring out the confidence that was really already buried inside her.Ginny whined about how there wasn’t an outfit on Earth that could make her look beautiful and that Merlin would surely break up with her as soon as he looked at her. But Gok promised her that she was going to rock in a frock with some help from the Gok and sent her off to get a good night’s sleep before settling down at his beloved sewing machine.

“What do you think?” asked Gok once he was finished although he already knew full well what she was thinking.“I...It’s so...Thanks Gok.” Ginny was spellbound. “I feel so...I look so...” she found herself getting emotional and felt ridiculous for doing so. But she had never thought that she could look this way. “Just thank your stars that you have a fairy Gok mother to help you with these things!” Gok laughed. “The colour brings out your eyes, complementing your pale skin and contrasting fabulously with your hair. “ Ginny nodded, turning to view herself from different angles. “ Although what’s most important of course is that it makes your bangers look fantastic and that equals instant confidence.”Ginny smiled. It was a good job that Gok was gay otherwise he would have been landed with oh-so-many sexual harassment charges.

Although when he was a child he developed a habit of hiding in women’s changing rooms and startling random women by appearing from nowhere and shouting fashion advice.

“Oh you are WORKING that girl friend!”Such cries naturally shocked and confused these women. Mrs Crumplebottom in particular -who had been trying on something saucy for Mr Crumplebottom; the flithy hypocrite- did not appreciate being told to “put more arse” into her “sexy strut”.

To Gok’s great amusement, Merlin approached him later that day to ask for a makeover. He too was nervous about revealing his appearance. Gok wouldn’t tell Merlin why he found the matter so hilarious , but all that mattered to him was that he looked good for Ginny.

But, after gawping for a little while longer, they realised that they had found each other and laughed about the confusion.Embarrassed, they admitted how nervous they had been about seeing each other properly for the first time. Ginny and Merlin had arranged to meet just outside the cafe near the sports field. They noticed each other, neither sim sure that the person they were staring at was actually the person they were there to meet.

Neither could see a single reason for the other to have been worried. They held hands in a long, comfortable silence, lost in each other’s eyes.**apologies for the high cheese intensity. I’m no good with romance but I can definitely write stories about demented gothic mermaids and psychotic Christmas elfs!

“Argh! Chistery and Glitterglue are fighting?! I should do something...Think Farnsworth think...”“Well you could break it up...” Peppermint began suggestively. “Or you could make some money...” She waited. One hippopotamus, Two Hippopotamus-“How exactly?” Farnsworth asked.“Well, I can offer you some fantastic, one day only, odds. 3 to 1 on Glitterglue to win. Full of youthful fire that one.”“I’ll take those odds!”

“Glitterglue lost! What happened to the youthful fire?!”“Ok madam, there’s no need to make a scene. Just hand over the money.”“And if I don’t?”“ You incur the wrath of the descendants of Batfink the great... And we’ll start weeing on the sofas.*”“Hmph, fine!”*My cat went through a phase of doing that. Ewwwwwww.

The next portion of Galinda and Giselle’s lives passed without much happening. Their mother’s feud with Ginny upset them both and they escaped into their own worlds whenever possible. Giselle dreamt of her happy ever after which was largely based around the arrival of a dashing prince with a pretty horse.

Whereas Galinda practised modelling poses and acceptance speeches in her mirror.“I just wasn’t expecting this, I...I... Thank you all so much! I love you all. I want to thank the academy, and my fans...They’re the real stars...”

Archie visited Ginny regularly but his wife was still refusing to speak to her. Despite the intense bond he and Farnsworth shared*, he just couldn’t understand why she was acting like this.*Clearly strong enough to make awkward bathroom situations a thing of the past.

But then, there was a lot he didn’t understand about his wife.“Farnsie, there’s a gentleman here to see you from the- What the holy camel is that thing on your head?”“Ah, admiring it are you?” she said smugly. “My latest invention, it allows me to skill at triple capacity! It’s working fabulously. Eat it everyone who’s never won a nobel prize!- And that includes you Giselle!” Giselle’s lip quivered and she stormed off to twirl whilst singing in harmony with a variety of woodland creatures in her favourite meadow.“It looks a bit dangerous... Galinda, back me up.”

“Yeah Gok! And then strobe lights- no, LASERS and big glittery letters saying Galinda, by Gok. And then-”“Galinda, support me dammit!” he said desperately“Dad, I’m on the phone. To Gok. This is my future you’re interrupting!” Teenagers. Thought Archie. Just then he realised that Farnsworth was attempting to karate chop their visitor whom she swore was a spy from her inventing arch nemesis Ogden Wernstrum. She had always been a little senile, even as a child, but now she was actually beginning to worry her husband. Her judgement seemed far more unbalanced than usual...and that was saying something.

But such worries were pushed to the back of his mind by Giselle’s birthday.“Make a wish!” the family chimed. As if she needed to be told.

This was the first Marmite Birthday party that Meretrix had attended and Laci had given her strict orders to gather as much information as possible. Of course her main targets were Ysabell and the little brat but Susan had caught a nasty cold and was therefore housebound. This was a setback but Meretrix could still study the other freaks. “Why is Firenze’s stomach on fire?” she asked Fion.“Ach, he cannae wait foor the cake lass! Setsa fire innis belly it dooes!”“CAKE!” Firenze confirmed.“Any second, any second now...” Godric waited with baited breath. Giselle blew out the candle and stepped back from the cake, the official signal that it was up for grabs.“Now!” Godric yelled. The entire family leapt forwards; they were covered in icing within 10 seconds.Urgh. Revolting. Thought Meretrix.

Whilst Rob Anybody became the next family member to fall for Peppermint’s fantastic odds, Giselle grew into family sim.I’m very happy with her genetics, her face is really quite different to those of her brothers and sisters.

And now for some swoontasticGodric spam.

“Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.” she whispered into the cold night air thinking of the old song that Godric had used to sing to her. “I’m all up now, but I’m scared. The world can be so daunting. I wish I had someone to help me.”She screwed up her eyes, wishing with all her might.But a calm voice, like windchimes blowing in a breeze, interrupted her concentration.

“Wishing on stars is powerful magic child. Do not waste wishes on things that you already have.” Giselle’s eyes shot open in shock, but once she saw the figure who had spoken she found it very difficult to be anything but calmed by her presence.“Who are you?” she gasped.

The faerie let out a melodic laugh. “I am Alfarin your faerie godmother. I am sorry it has taken so long for me to find you Giselle.”“I...I didn’t know I had a faerie godmother.” Giselle spluttered.“Why of course you do child. Every princess is guaranteed at least one, although they are not always of good intent.”Giselle nodded. She had heard tales of wicked godmothers who brought their godchildren terrible fates. There were so many things she wanted to ask. Her mouth opened and closed wildly as she tried to decide what to ask first. But, as if she had read her mind- which actually sounded more than plausible- Alfarin gently pushed Giselle’s jaw closed with one tingling finger.“Do not worry. I am here to watch over you Giselle. I will ensure that you get your happy ever after. Go to bed child; it is late.” Giselle had intended to protest but her legs seemed to have decided to carry her back to the house without her telling them to do so.

Galinda continued to consult the spirit of Belba, the most glamorous cat in the history of showbiz, about her future as a star.Fabulous Glinda darling, just fabulous. “It’s Ga-linda Belba.”The disembodied voice sighed.We’ve talked about this honey, that ‘ga’ will hold you back. Anyway, I’d say you should just get yourself off to Uni now, star in Gok’s shows, go to crazy parties, make some connections! You’ve learnt well, you’re ready to start you ascent to stardom.

“A star...” Galinda mused shortly before leaving.“Goodbye sucky life! Hello stardom!”

I don’t think she realised that this was what she was moving to. Don’t you think this pic encapsulates University life pretty darn well?

“Great Shatner’s ghost! Look at this dump!”“There’s no way that I’m living here.”

“Aah,” she smiled. “Infinitely better. Now this is a learning environment.”

Gok’s agent had immediately taken an interest in Galinda, recognising that she had the potential to become a fantastic model/actress and that, as a duo, the siblings could have a huge impact on the fashion world. So the agency was eager to keep its two new star signings happy and bought them this fabulous house to live in whilst at University. It had the added advantage being a great location for photo shoots and was officially the property of Gok and Galinda who had decided to set up a Greek House (the legacy’s first!) and leave it in the family for future generations of Marmites. Ginny, Godric and Meretrix -who really did VERY well out of their siblings’ success- moved in with them.

A Greek house of course equals lots of topless slap dancing and classical attire!

Despite Meretrix’s best efforts, Godric and Kate were having the time of their lives as members of their band: My allergic reaction. As far as she was concerned, every second he spent with her was a second that she could have used for cuddling ...extracting information...Incensed, she became all the more eager to get on with the task Laci had set her: destroying the family.

Quietly, Meretrix crept away from the party and out into the hall.“Hello? Is that Dr Wernstrum?” she whispered into the phone. A cranky, nasal voice answered. “I believe I have information that will be very valuable to you...”

“Are you still enjoying working together then?” asked Ginny. “She’s not too demanding?”“No of course not.” Gok laughed.“Who says I was talking about Galinda?”“ZING!” chimed Galinda.“Ha ha. Oh my side.”“It’s been thrillifying!” said Galinda. “You should see how many clothes have now!”“Yeah!” agreed Gok. “If I had a closet like hers then I never would have come out of it.”“ZING!”“Honey, what’s with the ‘zings’ today?”“I’m trying it out. Belba thinks a catchphrase would make me even more of a star. She loved that last photo shoot by the way, fabulous work Gok.” Ginny didn’t ask how a dead cat could get her hands on the latest copy of Pose magazine; she knew better than that by now.

P O S EFabulous clothes, A list parties and huge magazine deals! Things were going just as Galinda had always wanted them to. She was the darling of the fashion world and she was determined to keep things that way.GALINDA“Why I’ll never lose the ‘ga’.”Drop 4 sizes in 1 week! Our top 50 gut parasites.TREND ALERT!Racoon hats are back.Gok’s winter line: designer exclusive.Issue 362

Alfarin’s arrival had given Giselle even more hope of a happy ever after which meant she had more things to sing about as she twirled happily in her favourite meadow. Well she is a princess. Some day my prince will come,Some day I'll find my love,and how thrilling that moment will be,When the prince of my dreams comes to me.He'll whisper "I love you"And steal a kiss or twoThough he's far awayI'll find my love some daySome day when my dreams come true, come true...

Some day we'll say and doAll the things we've been longing toThough he's far awayI'll find my love some daySome day when my dreams come true.Somewhere waiting for meThere is someone I'm longing to seeSomeone I simply can't help but adoreSomeone who thrills me forever moreSome day...IMPORTANT NOTE: I did NOT know that there were so many HORRIFIC covers of this beautiful, if slightly soppy, Disney classic from Snow White. I’m sorry if this has reminded you of them. If which case I suggest that you watch some Snow White clips on you tube, or better yet the film itself. OR, even better, read the fantastic original Brothers Grimm version.

“Okay, everything’s set for your birthday party. The cake’s arrived, the guest should arrive soon and- HEY! Farnsworth have you already grown up?” She continued with her work as if she hadn’t heard Archie speak. “I said-”“No time for parties!” Farnsworth muttered. “Must concentrate...can’t let him win...”“Err...” Clearly her cranky disposition had not improved with age. “What’s happened?”“WERNSTRUM! That’s what’s happened!” The mention of her scientific nemesis did not bode well. Archie took a deep breath before daring to question her further but it turned out that he didn’t need to.“He stole my invention!” she continued angrily. “He’s always copied my work but they’ve always been shammy imitations. Like the jingle says ‘Housewives prefer Farnsworth Killbots!’.” Archie made an ‘mm’ing noise.

“But this time he’s managed to get his hands on my blueprints! He stole my death clock and managed to create it and present it to the Nobel Committee before me!”“Err...” he had to ask. “Death clock?”“Y’know, you insert your finger and it calculates how long you have left to live.”“Err-” Archie began to question this but was cut off.“Of course it can be out by a few seconds, what with free will and all.”“Of course,” conceded Archie.“And Wernstrumhas stolen it.” she muttered darkly . “He looked me right in the eyes as he presented it too...*muttermutter*.” She adopted a nasal, snooty voice and continued.“‘It’s such an honour to be receiving this award. It makes all the hard work worthwhile...’ *grumble grumble* Why I ought to....”“Ok, why don’t you calm down honey and-” Archie suggested.“Calm down! Sweet zombie Jesus! How could I possibly calm down when any number of my inventions could be at risk. Nothing is safe..NOTHING!”Archie sighed. Well, I knew this about her when I married her. He thought. Senile, grumpy, paranoid, clinically insane and willing to risk my life in the name of science. Reminded of the qualities that attracted him to her in the first place, Archie smiled fondly and, shaking his head, went to make his wife a soothing cup of tea with some very ‘soothing’ tablets soothingly dissolved in it.

Foolishly, he’d hoped that eventually Farnsworth would have let it go. By 2:35 the next morning it was clear that such hoped were sorely misguided.“I’VE GOT IT!” she shrieked, wrenching Archie from a dream about kittens that shot rainbows from their eyes that he had been rather enjoying. “Got what?” he asked wearily.“I know how Wernstrum has been stealing my inventions! GINNY!”Archie sat up. “That’s ridiculous! Ginny would never ever ever-”“Oh I think she would!” Farnsworth’s eyes were bulging. “And besides, who else could it have possibly been?”“Errrrr...”“PRECISEAMENTE! She’s been selling off my blueprints to him!”“How would she even get hold of your-”“I’ve been working on most of them for years so she knows all about them! And she must have hacked into my files-”“How? The whole point was that she wasn’t interested in you inventions. She didn’t think they made any sense at all, She wouldn’t have been able to-”“Or is that what she WANTS me to think?!” Archie sighed and rolled over.

Soon Giselle had left home for University too and she was soon inducted into the Greek house traditions of running around crazily and stealing pizza.

“Simply splendiferous news people!” which was as close to ‘hello’ as you ever got with Galinda. “We’re ALL invited to a fabulous showbiz soirée this evening. I know, I know! It’s quite amazing that I managed to get you on the guest list too but you see when you’re moi people make excpetions.” “Mrnmngh!” Gok squealed through a mouthful of pizza. “Who’s the host?” asked Ginny.“Who cares! We know where it is and that there will be lots of celebrities!”“And I only have a couple of hours to sort out EVERYONE’S outfits!” shrieked Gok.“Hey, I can dress myself.” protested Ginny“Of course you can. Now run along and put on that blue dress I made for you.”

To Giselle’s understanding, there was a ball tonight and everyone knew that balls were great places to meet your prince charming and get your happily ever after. For luck, she nipped off to make a wish at a wishing well. One day my prince will come... She sang to herself.“You have an enchanting voice.”

“I didn’t mean to startle you!” he gushed. “I come to wish here too. I am Prince Edward of Andalasia.”Apparently he could be.She heard herself say “ I’m Giselle.”.“What a beautiful name... I can’t help feeling that I know you from somewhere...”Giselle span around. In front of her stood a tall, dark and handsome man dressed in royal blue with a sword and a flowing crimson cape. He looked so familiar.He couldn’t possibly be... Could he?

“... Have we met?”Giselle suddenly realised where she knew him from.“I believe we have.” she laughed. “Once upon a dream...”**IT’S NOT CHEESY IF IT’S DISNEY PEOPLE.

I know youI walked with you once upon a dream.I know youThe gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

Yes, I know it's truethat visions are seldom all they seemBut if I know you, I know what you'll do

You'll love me at oncethe way you did once upon a dream...

“She did say she was coming but she wandered off singing something about stars and true love yada yadayada. I suspect she’s in an enchanted forest napping inside a hollow tree or something.”“That girl... Well we’ll have to go. Come on.”“Is Giselle coming? We have to leave.”

Some day my prince will comeSome day we'll meet againAnd away to his castle we'll goTo be happy forever I know Some day when spring is hereWe'll find our love anewAnd the birds will singAnd wedding bells will ringSome day when my dreams come true...“Hello? Anybody home? I’ve had the most wonderful evening!” Realisation dawned.Ahhhh. The party.Just then she heard a noise from above her.Perhaps someone is here.She went to investigate

Eventually she realised that there were voices coming from the roof.“Meretrix!”she began “Wait till you’ve heard-” she froze. Who was that she was talking to? She felt very uneasy although she wasn’t sure why. She crept closer to the glass listening to what the two figures were saying.

“-so I sold him another 2 inventions and now Farnsworth’s even madder at Ginny. She won’t even talk about her and I think it’s starting to really get to Archie. She’s going losing what’s left of her very limited collection of marbles!” she let out a harsh cackle.“You’ve done well” said the witch “But we’ve just been waiting to start to really punish them.”“Now tell me again, when is the child’s birthday party?”“Susan’s party is next Tuesday.”“Excellent, it will be the perfect opportunity to destroy the child; her entire family will be there.”“Except Elphaba.”“I can’t risk her being there. She’s too powerful. Besides, think about how fun it will be to toss the little broken body at her feet and tell her that its her granddaughter!”

Giselle stumbled backwards in shock, almost falling over the banister.Despite herself, she let out a shriek of horror.Meretrix’s head jerked round and Giselle stood petrified by fear and shock.“Laci!”she yelled. “ She knows! Quick!”

“Oops” she whimpered.She raced down the stairs as the figures swept towards her. She had to find someone, she had to warn Mort and Ysabell.

But the witch was too fast, she seemed to glide after Giselle, not touching the floor.“Oh no you don’t. We can’t have you meddling now can we?”Giselle didn’t know where she was running to, just that she had to keep on doing it. Just keep running, just-There was a flash of light and Giselle heard a distant shriek of cruel laughter as she fell down into the darkness.

“Is she dead?” “Of course not! You stupid girl, don’t you think that might be a little suspicious?” Laci snapped. “So she’s...asleep?” “In a sense yes... But she’ll never wake up. They’ll assume it’s a coma and leave her to rot as a vegetable in a hospital somewhere.”“What was that?”“Someone’s here! Quick, go out the back and come home in a couple of hours. Remember, this is a tragic surprise. I’ll fly from the roof, quick!”

“Oh Giselle,” Alfarin sighed. If only she has arrived sooner; this sort of magic could not be reversed. There was so simple counter curse that she could use. But there was something she could do...

And that’s it for this time! I think that’s probably the first time I’ve ended on a bit of a cliff hanger. I wonder if you can guess what Alfarin will do to help her goddaughter... I hope that this was an ok place to end. I’m going to start work on the poll now and the results, as well as the next part of the plot, will probably all be in chapter 24. I do really hope you enjoyed reading it and as always all constructive criticism will be welcomed. You don’t have to look at the next slide but I’d appreciate it if you did. It’s your chance to make something amazing happen this Christmas in an ANGRY way! 

Thanks!I would also like to abuse this opportunity by using it to gather support for the campaign that aims to knock Simon Cowell and his minions off the Christmas number 1 throne. Instead, this campaign wants to get Rage Against the Machine the xmas number one with their iconic song Killing in the name of. Anyone who’s heard it knows that it’s the least X factor-ish song EVER and a bit of an anthem in the alternative music world. It also has terrible language! Lol. Guess what? At this point we’re WINNING! We’re currently in the lead and bookmakers’ odds have dropped to 3-1! You can also get involved via Facebook if you’re that way inclined. Even if you don’t like it, come on, let’s show Cowell that the world isn’t solely comprised of mindless drones who will ensure that his cheesefest wins yet again. I mean it’s a Miley bloody Cyrus (or as I like to call her Smiley Virus) song this year! This isn’t about RATM, or X factor, or Simon Cowell. This is about showing that we’re still sentient beings. And it’s fun and kind of rebellious! 

The marmites alphabetacy 23

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