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THE CONCEPT OF
MARRIAGE IN ISLAM
BY
SIRAJ MUH’D FUNTUA, MNIFST, MIFST, UK
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
ii
INTRODUCTION
Indeed, all praise is due to Allah. We praise Him and seek His
help and forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from our
soul‟s evils and our wrong doings. He whom Allah guides, no
one can misguide; and he whom He misguides, no one can
guide.
I bear witness that there is no (true) god except Allah – alone
without a partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad (May
Allah exalt his mention, and render him and his household
safe and secure from every derogatory thing)1 is His servant
and Messenger.
O you who believe! Revere Allah the right reverence, and do not die
except as Muslims (Q3:102).
O people! Revere your Lord who has created you from a single soul,
created from it its mate, and dispersed from both of them many men
and women. Revere Allah through whom you demand things from
one another, and (cherish the ties of) the wombs. Indeed Allah is
ever-watchful over you (Q4:01)
O you who believe! Revere Allah and say just words. He will then
rectify your deeds and forgive your sins. He who obeys Allah and
His messenger has certainly achieved a great victory (Q33:80 -81).
Indeed, the best of speech is Allah‟s Book (Qur‟an) and the
best guidance is Muhammad (SAW) guidance. The worst
affairs (of religion) are those innovated (by people), for
every such innovation is an act of misguidance leading to
the hell fire (Muslim)2.
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
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We deem it a great pleasure and honour to compile and write
a religious lecture of this nature on a relevant topic chosen by
the M.S.S.N. We are particularly delighted and glad to share a
few thoughts on this important topic “The Concept of
Marriage in Islam”. May Allah, (SWT) straighten our paths
and open the hearts of understanding of anybody who will
read this book. Amin.
In our world of chaos and confusion concerning the unending
problems of sexual abuses and perversion, most of mankind
has all but given up hope on how to come to terms with these
intractable of all problems. If solution from natural laws of the
Almighty Allah are not proffered, implemented and
monitored to face-out this dilemma, the disaster that
accompanies these crimes will be upon as a whole. We will
pay, our children will pay and our children‟s children will
pay; and the worst of all, the wrath of Almighty Allah would
be upon us all in the Day of Judgment. We pray that such a
dual face calamity will not be upon any one of us. Amin.
Thankfully, we have the Divine Guidance from the glorious
Qur‟an and authentic traditions of our beloved Prophet, the
chosen one, may Allah exalt his mention and render him and
his household safe and secure from every derogatory thing
(SAW), on how to avoid these problems from the beginning
by following the shari‟ah set out for us by the only one who
knows His creation, that is Allah, the exalted. We present this
booklet as a solution to one of the most difficult problems of
our time. Remember the saying of Allah (SWT) in the glorious
Qur‟an; O you, who believe, protect yourselves and your
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iv
families from a fire whose fuel are men (people) and stones.
(Q66:6).
However, the only way to protect ourselves and members of
the family is to know the Shari’ah, apply it in totality and
protect its rules and regulations completely and forever. This
is because a wise person will crush his ego and work for
what he will need in the Day of Judgment to gain him
entrance into paradise; while foolish person will run after
the desires of his ego and then pray to Allah, the exalted
(SWT), to take him to paradise. Nevertheless, the best wealth
is the wealth of the soul. The best provision is right conduct.
We crave the indulgence of our dear readers to open their
hearts and chests, while reading this booklet, to accept the
truth, and to show other people they come across the right
path and inspire them to follow it. As you read this booklet,
may the Almighty Lord bless you with understanding and
comprehension of its teachings. Amin.
Dear readers, we should not forget that we will all die on day
and we shall al be buried, decayed and then assemble before
the majesty court of Almighty Allah. This verse from the
glorious Qur‟an, chapter of Ta-ha, verse 55 would serve as a
reminder: “From the (earth) did He (Allah) create you
(mankind), and into it shall we return you and from it shall
we bring you out once again (so that mankind could be judged
in the Day of Judgment). Q20:55. We have the belief that this is
why Allah, the exalted, then admonish mankind in the
chapter of Al-Imran,: O you who believe! Revere (fear) Allah
the right reverence, and do not die except as Muslims. Q3:102.
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May Allah bless us with undiluted belief so that we can fear
Him as expected in order for us to gain admission into His
indescribable Paradise. Amin.
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
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CHAPTER ONE
1.0 MARRIAGE IN ISLAM
Since time memorial, marriage is considered as part and
parcel of tradition in any civilized society. However,
Islam makes marriage even more meaningful. This is
because the family unit is extremely important in the
sight of Allah (SWT). In fact, the topic which is
discussed in details in the glorious Qur‟an is the family
life, which is a product of marriage. The harmony in the
family unit builds a better community and consequently
determines the quality of life in a society.
1.1 MEANING OF MARRIAGE
Islamically, marriage is a relationship that is established
between a male and a female fewer than four criteria:
a. Mutual agreement between the intending spouses
b. Mutual agreement between the parents of both
above in (a)
c. Two witnesses that are known to be trustworthy
in the society
d. Nihla (i.e. dowry) Q4:4.
The above points (a) to (d) are the Islamic conditions for
the establishment of marriage between a male and a
female.
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1.2 CLASSIFICATION OF MARRIAGE IN THE
CONTEMPORARY WORLD OF TODAY
Marriage has been classified in the contemporary world
of today into seven (7) according to some writers:
i. Marriage of one woman to many men.
ii. Marriage of seeking for family lineage – marrying
somebody in order to have similar lineage or
quality characters of the person.
iii. Marriage establishment between only a male and
a female without the consent of either of the
parents, leaders in the society and/or any
witness in the society; e.g. keeping a mistress by
most rich men.
iv. Marriage of exchange of wives between two or
more people. Two friends to agree to exchange
their wives for certain periods of time due to lack
of religious consciousness and jealousy.
v. Marriage of trade by barter. A person buying a
female from her father just like buying goods in
the market.
vi. Marriage of inheriting a female. By inheriting a
wife from fathers especially or brothers.
vii. Marriage of fornicating with a female openly and
shamelessly, e.g. keeping a mistress just like a
wife as practiced in the Europe.
Our noble prophet (SAW) has already informed us of
the criteria some people put into consideration before
establishing a marriage. People marry due to beauty of
a female, and due to lineage of a female; and due to the
richness of a female and due to the religious
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consciousness of a female. He (SAW) said finally, I
recommend to you (all) to marry a female because of
her religious consciousness. Please let us be guided.
1.3 TYPES OF MARRIAGE BASED ON
ABILITY/CERTAIN REASONS
There are basically three types of marriage namely;
1. Compulsory (Farzhun)
2. Supererogatory (Sunna)
3. Non-Supererogatory (Makaruh)
4. Forbidden (Haram)
1.4 REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
There are several reasons why people should get
married. These include:
i. Commandment of Allah (SWT) in the glorious
Qur‟an. Suratu Nisai, verse 3;
If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the
orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four;
but if your feat that you shall not be able to deal justly (with
them), then only one or that which your right hands
possesses. That will be more suitable to prevent you from
doing injustice. Q4:3
ii. It is a tradition of Prophet Muhammad (SAW).
Marriage is my tradition; he who dislikes my
tradition (marriage) is not among my followers.
(Hadith)
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iii. Natural weakness of human beings
iv. Innate impulses and sexual urges of people. Q:
Suratu Ar-Rum 30
Translation
“… (That is) the nature of (Fitra) with which Allah has
created mankind”. (Q30:30)
Special Note
Undoubtedly, Islam acknowledges the innate impulses
and sexual urges of human beings. It should be noted
that there cannot exist any contradiction between the
law of Allah and the urges that He inculcates in man.
How could such contradiction exist when the laws
which Allah (SWT), the Almighty, laid down were for
the sake of man to be His vicegerent on earth and to
strive his utmost in building up its civilization3.
v. Preservation of human race through
reproduction. Another Hadith of Prophet said: …
Abdul-Razaq and Al-Baihaqi reported that the
Prophet (SAW) said: … O my followers, you
should marry in order that you may reproduce
and multiply, because I will be proud of you on
the Day of Judgment before the other nations…
This is why Islam prohibits monasticism (i.e.
abstaining from marriage and regarding sexual
urges as something filthy, with the intention to
devote one‟s time to worship and drawing near to
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the creator, especially if the person is able,
financially and physically, to marry4.
Al-Baihaqi reported on the authority of Sa‟ad
Ibn Abi Waqqas (RA) that the Prophet (SAW)
said: “verily Allah has replaced monasticism
with Islam for us”.
This is why in another tradition of Prophet, At-
Tabarani and Al-Baihaqi reported that the
Prophet (SAW) said: “Whoever is able to marry
and then does not do so, he is not from me”.
Also, Bukhari and Muslim both recorded the
narration of the three men who came to the home
of the Prophet (SAW) and it was said by one
of them, “as for me, I will abstain from
women and never get married”. Later, the
Prophet came and was informed of what they
said. The Prophet (SAW) replied, „Indeed, I
swear by Allah that among you, I am the
most fearful of Allah and the most pious.
However, I fast and break my fast, pray and
sleep, and I marry women. So, whoever
refrains from my way is not among my
followers‟.
vi. Satisfaction of sexual needs through righteous
means is an act of worship that deserves
reward in Islam.
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Muslim reported that Abu Tharr said: some of
the Prophet‟s companions came to him and
said, “The rich are getting all the rewards. They
pray as we do, fast as we do, and also give
charity from their wealth”. The Prophet
(SAW) answered, “Has not Allah given you
that from which you may give in charity?
Verily, saying Subhanallah (Free is Allah
from all deficiencies) is a charity, as is
saying Allahu Akbar (Allah is the Greatest),
La Illaha Illa Allah (there is no god but
Allah), and Al-hamdulillahi (Praise be to
Allah). Likewise, commanding what is
righteous and forbidding evil are charities and
having sexual intercourse with your legal mate
(wife) is also charity”. The companions
exclaimed, “O messenger of Allah, is one
rewarded even for satisfying his desire?”. The
Prophet (SAW) explained, „if one satisfied it (his
desire) by prohibited means, (fornication,
adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality,
etc) would not he be punished? Likewise, if he
satisfies it (his desire) by legal means, he would
be rewarded.‟
vii. Establishment and preservation of self-esteem in
the society.
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1.5 CONSEQUENCES OF MONASTICISM
Monasticism could simply be defined as a deliberate
abstinence from marriage. Refusal to establish marriage
in the society could lead to social pollutions such as:
a. Fornication
b. Lesbianism
c. Homosexuality
d. Bestiality
e. Incest, etc.
Special Note
Do not forget to make references to what is happening
in the schools (secondary and tertiary institutions) and
homes, nowadays with regard to a–d above. See
issues, facts and figures under discussion.
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CHAPTER TWO
2.0 THE RIPE TIME FOR MARRIAGE: ISLAMIC
PERSPECTIVE
The right time for marriage is becoming a thing of
concern among the Muslim community today. This is
linkable to the latest western ideology that has become a
thorn in the flesh of many Muslims. Some Muslims,
learnered or illiterate, would not give out their daughter
in marriage until she completes, National Diploma,
Higher National Diploma or Degree Programme. Some
Muslim men would refuse to marry until they secures a
lucrative job or becomes rich, builds a house and buys a
car. There are several other numerous excuses that are
baseless and without substance, because in most of
these proffered excuses are not in conformity with the
Islamic injunctions and/or the teachings of the Prophet
(SAW).
However, the best time for marriage is hidden in the
interior of man‟s nature and instinct. It is much like
hunger and thirst which do not undergo any test and
governed by any law which tells when to eat when man
is famished and when to drink when he is absolutely in
need of water to quench his thirst. The best time for
marriage is the puberty age, which differs from one
person to another. Some experience their puberty age
early, while some lately. However, our beloved Prophet
(SAW) married at the age of 25, while our leader Aliyu
(RA) married Fatima (RA), the daughter of the Prophet
(pbuh), at the age of 21. Nevertheless, puberty age is the
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period in which sexual desire and maturity has reached
their desired completion in a person (male or female).
And as interpreted by the Prophet (SAW): “It is like a
fruit whose ripening is at its maturity and adult age”.
When a person attains maturity and puberty stage of
life, his time for marriage has ripened and delaying it
unnecessarily would not be advisable. If the need for
marriage knocks at the door of man‟s heart, the factor
hidden inside a man‟s conscience may surface and say: I
have not obtained my certificate yet, I have no money to
pay the token for marriage; to build house where I and
my wife would live, to cater for day-to-day
requirements of marital life. I do not have the means to
shoulder the financial need of the celebration, etc.
My dear beloved brothers and sisters in Islam, we are
all aware about the noise and turbulence, which is
going on inside us. We are sure that we require a
spouse. We know that we are apprehensive and feel a
gap, avoid and solitude. We can perceive and hear our
internal yearning for a life partner. We know it quite
well that we are not that child we used to be a few years
ago, because a change has developed inside us. Why do
we deceive ourselves? Are we scared of poverty?
Are we scared that we may not be able to continue or
complete our education? Are we afraid we would not
be able to manage and run our family expenses? My
dear brethren in Islam, we should not be afraid or
scared or anything. Allah, the exalted, is with us. He is
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all Beneficent, our Helper, and our Provide. We should
all learn to trust Allah and rely upon Him in all our
endeavours.
In fact, marriage has a season and spring especially for
female gender. And if this passes away, brother or sister
would face a loss and subsequently, he/she would be
disappointed. This is because the fruit which ripens and
is not benefited from, gets spoilt and stale. Our beloved
Prophet (pbuh) has said: O Muslim community! Your
daughters are like ripe fruit on a tree. Fruit must be
picked at its optimum moment, otherwise the sun or
other agencies will spoil it. You must likewise give
your daughters in marriage at the moment when they
are ripe, and neither later nor sooner. If you leave
them hanging about too long, their inevitable
corruption will be your fault. They are human and
their human needs (sexual desire and urge) must be
met”.
The above narrated tradition of the Prophet (SAW)
clearly indicates that females should be given out for
marriage as soon as they reach their puberty age. But
today most of our sisters get married when they are
already spoilt and become stale because of
westernization. No wonder abortion is the order of the
day among the female folks. Single mothers have
become a vogue in our society today due to
indiscriminate sexual activities among the youths and
aged people. The only way to arrest this menace is to
de-educate people about their western ideological
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beliefs and re-educate them on the true concept of
marriage in Islam.
In a book titled “The Life Story of Nana Fatima (RA)”,
the daughter of our beloved prophet (SAW), it was
narrated that: “Nana Fatima (RA) wedding with Aliyu
(RA) took place in the month of Ramadhan, two years
after migration from Mecca to Medina. As at then, she
was fifteen (15) years old, while our leader, Aliyu the
son of Abi-Talib was twenty-one (21) years old.
It has been narrated from Anas the son of Malik (RA)
he said I was with the messenger of Allah (SAW) then
a revelation enveloped him. When he is fully
conscious he (SAW) then said to me: “Anas do you
know what Angel Jibril revealed to me? I then said
my mother and father should be sacrificed for your
sake, what did he (Jibril) revealed to you? He (SAW)
then said the Lord has commended me to marry out
Fatima (RA) to Aliyu (RA), go and call for me
Abubakar (RA), Umar (RA), Usman (RA), Dalhat (RA),
Zubayru (RA) and some people of Medina. I then
went and called them. When they arrived and sat
down, then the messenger of Allah (SAW) started
with the sermon of opening as follows. All praise is
due to the Lord (of the worlds), the only worthy of
thanking on His favour. He is the only one worthy of
worship with His ability, the only one worthy of
obeying with His authority, the Ruler of heaven earth.
He is that who created with his authority. He guides
them (creation) with His rules and regulations. He
elevated them with His religion (Islam) and He
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blessed them with prophet Muhammad (SAW), He
made in-lawship to become a source of relationship
(among mankind), or an issue that is made
compulsory (among mankind) Almighty Allah, the
exalted, said: He who has created man from water:
Then has He established relationships of lineage and
marriage: For thy (your) Lord has power (over all
things). (Q25:54).
He continues with his statement: “the issues of the
Lord do take place as He commands. His (SWT)
command becomes effective with His authority. Every
command (of Allah) has every jurisdiction has its
limitation”.
He then said: Lord has commanded me to marry out
Fatima to Aliyu. I am informing you all that I married
out Fatima to Aliyu on token of four hundred (400)
dirham if he (Aliyu) accepted with this. On a tradition
that is authentic and with obligation that is made
compulsory (by Allah). May Allah (make them live in
peace, in their marital life), bless them (and) purify
their hearts (towards each other). May He (SWT) make
their hearts to become a source of opening success and
a means of wisdom and also of an acceptance to
Muslims. I am saying this is my statement with
seeking for the forgiveness of the Lord for myself and
for you all.
As at the time when Fatima (RA) was betrothed
(married) to Aliyu (RA), he (Aliyu) was not in town,
the messenger of Allah sent him on an errand. After
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he (RA) comes back, the messenger of Allah (SAW)
looked at him and smiled, he (SAW) (then) said, oh
Aliyu, the Lord has commanded me to marry out
Fatima to you. And I married her to you on a token of
four hundred (400) dirham. Then Aliyu (RA) said I
accept the messenger of Allah (SAW). Then, our
leader Aliyu (RA) fell on the ground, prostrated,
thanking the Lord. After he (RA) raised his head (from
prostration) then the messenger of Allah (SAW) said:
“May Allah bless your union, bless you with a means
of livelihood and May He (SWT) bless you with pious
offspring from the both of you”.
Dear readers, this narration of marriage between the
most beloved daughter of our beloved prophet and our
leader, Aliyu the son of Abi Talib, we can understand as
follows:
a. Is only the father that has the legal right to give
out the hand of his daughter in marriage.
However, the mother has an important role to
play in giving out her daughter for marital bliss
b. Nuptial knot (marriage) can only take place
between a male and female in the presence of
witnesses.
c. Marriage cannot be consummated (sexual
intercourse) between couples without a
pronouncement of a token (a valuable gift) to be
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given to the wife-to-be. The token should always
be small
d. Marriage can be formalized in the absence of the
husband-to-be. However, he shall be informed in
due course.
e. Husband-to-be may wish to challenge a token
pronounced by the future father-in-law
f. A virgin should be married out at a tender age of
fifteen (15) years or even less depending on her
nutritional assessment and growth
g. A male could marry at the age of twenty-one (21)
years as long as he earns a means of livelihood.
h. Father-in-law is expected to bless the couple, as
well as wish them success
i. Couples should always thank Allah after
marriage by worshipping especially for that
occasion on that very day
Allah, the exalted, knows best.
2.1 HER CONVEYANCE TO HER HUSBAND‟S HOUSE
Nana Fatima (RA) parked into her husband‟s house in
the month of Zhul-Hijja. Her bed was made out of skin,
which is a round shape, while its top is soft. Then the
messenger of Allah (SAW) sent Asma‟u, the daughter of
Amru, to go and prepare the room (for Fatima). Then
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the messenger of Allah (SAW) entered (the room) he
observed night prayer (in the room). Then he (SAW) for
Nana Fatima (RA) and Ummu Aiman (Baraka) to come
together. The both of them then came into the room and
sat at the middle of Aliyu (RA) while he was in the
room. Then the messenger of Allah (SAW) said this is
my blood brother (i.e. referring to Aliyu). Then Umma
Aiman said, he is your blood brother and you still
marry out your daughter to him? Then he (prophet)
said yes, in his position as my biological brother, but
our biological relationship does not forbid him from
taking the hand of my daughter in marriage. Then the
Prophet (pbuh) said to Nana Fadima bring some water
for me. She stood up and she covered her face because
of shyness, she then brought the water in a container.
He (pbuh) collected the container of water; he (pbuh)
rinsed his month with water and poured it into the
container of water. He (pbuh) then sad to her (Nana
Fatima) come close to me (SAW), she came closer and
sprayed the water on her weaved hair and head. He
(pbuh) the (supplicated) saying: Oh Allah, I seek refuge
with you from the devil, the accursed from your mercy,
with her and her offspring (progeny). He (pbuh) said go
and sit down. After that the water in her weaved hair
and head sprang down her shoulders. He (pbuh) same
did the same thing on our leader, Aliyu bn Abi Talib
(RA).
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Dear readers, this narration of Nana Fatima (RA)
teaches us the following lessons:
a. Nuptial knot (marriage) between biologically
related, persons as long as Islam does not forbid it
or frowns at it.
b. Is one of the duties of the father according to pure
tradition of the prophet to escort his daughter to
her husband house after the Nikah. He is also
expected to pray for the couple. Dear fathers who
had the opportunity to read this booklet, how
many of you married out your daughter(s) and
escort her to her husband‟s house on the first day
of her marriage? I crave your indulgence to
emulate our most beloved prophet, the chosen
one (SAW). May Allah make it easy for all of us.
Amin.
2.2 MY ADVICE TO PARENTS
Perhaps you are unaware of what is going on in the
society today. You all know what a number of
difficulties have been created upon the way to marriage.
You know what an amount of misfortunes and
afflictions are brought into effect by some selfish
parents that are without Islamic creed for their children
in connection with their marriage. These baseless
customs and innovations are to the detriment of your
children, especially your daughters. This is because if
you refuse to give them out in marriage, honorably,
they would give out themselves, freely, to whom they
wish. As you can all witness how at their youthful age
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they involve in various indiscriminate immoralities
such as fornication, lesbianism, and homosexual act, etc.
This is because parents refuse to do away with
ignorance-based customs and ceremonies of the society.
Remember that your children need a partner to move
on in life. Everybody needs a companion, a helper, a
sympathizer, in order to meet the merciful Lord in a
pure condition. Our beloved prophet said: “Whoever
desires to meet Allah in a pure condition must marry”.
Allow your children to enjoy the fruit of youthfulness.
According to the book of Allah and the tradition of
Prophet Muhammad (SAW), our leader, Aliyu bn Abi-
Talib (RA) defined the duration of his youth and that of
his wife, Fatima (RA): “We are enjoying felicity, health
and youth like two pigeons in a dwelling (i.e. in their
nest)”.
These two spouses lived a pure and prosperous life full
of love and they will meet all-Mighty Allah in a pure
condition full of love.
2.3 THE OBLIGATORY NATURE OF MARRIAGE TO A
MAN
Islamic law does not oblige every person to marry.
However, certain conditions have to be put into
consideration. These include:
a. Marriage is compulsory (Wajib) for a man who
has the means to easily pay dowry (token), Nihla,
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he can maintain wife and children and he is
healthy but fears that if he does not marry he may
commit fornication.
b. Marriage is recommendatory but not obligatory if
a man has the means to easily pray dowry,
maintains wife, sexual ability and is in need of
getting marriage partner or not interested in
marriage but whose aim is only for the
procreation of children.
c. Marriage is not desirable (Makruh) for a man is
not interested in marriage and who fears to be
slackened in his religious obligations as regards
maintenance of the wife.
d. Marriage is forbidden to a man who cannot
perform Islamic obligation such as inability to
pay dowry or maintain the wife or have sexual
intercourse with the opposite sex or if he is
mentally derailed or having sexually transmitted
disease (STD) such as AIDS, etc.
2.4 ESSENTIAL CONSTITUENTS OF MARRIAGE
Islamic marriage has five (5) essential constituents
without which there can be no valid contract of
marriage. These include:
i. Guardian from both suitors
ii. Dowry (Nihla)
iii. The intending life partners (Husband and wife to
be)
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iv. Offer and acceptance from i and ii
v. Reliable witnesses
i. GUARDIAN FROM BOTH SUITORS
The holy prophet (SAW) said: “There can be no
valid marriage contract without a guardian”. A
female guardian could be her father testamentary
guardian, son, paternal brothers or Amir of the
Muslim community.
There are certain conditions for becoming a
guardian to a female. These include the fact that
the guardian must be free born (not a slave),
male, sane, not engaged in pilgrimage, adult and
a Muslim.
ii. DOWRY (Nihla)
This is a token which a person gives to his
proposed wife in terms of money or its
equivalent. It is necessary that the token given is
either:
a. Property, legally recognized and capable of
ownership
b. Given wholly or in part
c. Made easy for payment to the husband-to-
be because our beloved prophet (SAW)
said: the most honourable women are those
whose marriages are not expensive, etc.
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iii. THE INTENDING LIFE PARTNER
It is necessary that both parties involved (male
and female) must be free from any legal
impediment such as illness or engagement in
pilgrimage.
iv. OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE BETWEEN
GUARDIANS, HUSBAND AND WIFE
Marriage formula (offer and acceptance) are those
words used by husband or his representative
(Guardian) seeking the woman in marriage from
her guardian and the answer (acceptance) from
him that he gives his daughter in marriage to the
husband or his guardian.
v. RELIABLE WITNESSES
It is also necessary to have witnesses who can
testify that a marriage is contract between the
man and the woman. In the absence of witnesses,
who must be at least two in number, Muslim and
good-practising believers, the man s forbidden to
consummate the marriage (have sexual
intercourse with the woman) otherwise the
marriage becomes null and void. Two respectable
witnesses are required in witnessing a marriage.
Thus the holy prophet (SAW) said: “…There is
no marriage except with the permission of
guardian and payment of dowry and two
reliable witnesses”.
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In a nutshell, essential constituents of marriage
are the processes involved in establishing an
Islamic marriage according to the glorious Quran
and the traditions of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
May Allah (SWT) give us the will-power to
establish Islamic marriage in our society, which is
the only way and means of achieving marital
bliss, peace and tranquility. Amin.
vi. CONJUGAL RIGHTS OF LIFE PARTNERS
(SPOUSE)
Under the Islamic code of conduct, both spouses
have their respective rights, which both of them
must fulfill. This could be testified by the saying
of the prophet (SAW): “Surely you (husband)
have from your wives certain rights and also your
wives have from you certain rights”.
a. Rights of the Wife
i. Maintenance in terms of feeding,
clothing and accommodation
ii. Making sexual intercourse with her
at least once in a while
iii. Spending a night by the husband
with her at least once in four days
time
iv. Equality of the number of days for
each wife if the husband has more
than one wife
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v. Spending the first seven days for a
virgin while three days for a matron
(a wife that has married before), etc.
b. Rights of the Husband
i. Obedience within her ability and which
does not conflict with
obedience to Allah, the exalted
ii. Taking care of the husband, his wealth and
family, especially his children, if he is
already married
iii. Having sexual intercourse with his wife at
his disposal
iv. Seeking his permission for supererogatory
fasting if he is in town
v. Undertaking a journey with the permission
of the husband. In fact, a wife cannot even
go out from her husband‟s house without
his permission
In a nutshell, the prophet (SAW) said: “A good wife is
the one who pleases you (husband) when you look at
her; obeys you if you command her, takes care of
herself and your property when you are absent (away
from the house). May Allah, the exalted, bless us with
this type of wives that are conscious of their creator,
Allah, the exalted. Amin.
2.5 PREPARATION FOR CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER
Whenever you intend to ask for the hand of a girl or
boy in marriage, perform ablution, offer two units of
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prayers, glorify Allah, the exalted, and recite the
supplication of Istahara (seeking Allah‟s guidance to
make a right choice of a life partner). The translation of
the supplication is as written below: “Oh Allah!, I am
seeking for your choice, and I am seeking for your
strength from your consent, and I am seeking from
your bounty that is great, because you are the one that
have authority, but I do not know anything, and you
are aware of the hidden issues. Oh Allah! If you know
that this issue that I (want to) embark on is good for
me in my religion, and my life, and in the hereafter,
make it easy for me, and make it possible and bless
me in it. And if you know that this issue I (want to)
embark on is not good for me in my religion, and my
life, and in the hereafter, take it away from me, and
take me away from it, and apportion good for me
wherever it is and make me accept it (in good faith)”.
The above supplication should not be neglected because
the prophet (SAW) encourage Muslims to do it when
embarking on any issue such as marriage, business
proposal, choosing a course to study, etc. Jabir the son
of Abdullahi (RA) said: The prophet (pbuh) used to
teach us “Istahara” in all our activities as he (SAW)
used to teach us how to read (recite) the verses of the
(glorious) Quran, he (SAW) used to say: If any of you
want to embark on something he should observe two
units prayer and then recite the supplication of
„Istihara‟. The prophet (SAW) should be praised after
the supplication and then terminate the prayer. Also,
the supplication below could be recited all the time in
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order to be blessed with the right and suitable life
partner.
“O Allah! Intend to marry, so bless me with a woman
who is highly virtuous and who for my sake will
safeguard herself and my belongings and will be the
source of abundance in my sustenance. And then make
her give birth to a son who will be my virtuous
remembrance in my life and after my death”. Abubakar
(2002:17).
Dear brethren in Islam, most of the difficulties,
controversies and conflicts in the common and shared
life have their roots in the wrong choice of life partner.
My beloved brethren in Islam, as you intend to select a
life partner, avoid sentimental decision and beware of
deviational factors, which is common and seen among
people today. However, marry only for the sake of
Allah and seeking His pleasure. May Allah, the exalted,
make it easy for all of us. Amin.
2.6 CRITERIA FOR SPOUSE SELECTION
The following could be the criteria for the selection of a
life partner:
a. Religiousness
b. Mortality
c. Mobility of the family
d. Reason
e. Physical and mental health
f. Beauty
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g. Knowledge and education, etc.
Nonetheless, people use several yardsticks in selecting a
life partner, but the best of the criteria is religiousness.
This is because of the saying of the prophet (pbuh): A
woman is married for four reasons: for her beauty, her
property, her rank and her religion. Marry the one
who is religious and you all prosper. (Bukhari and
Muslim).
Also, in one of his (pbuh) saying, he (pbuh) said: “The
one who marries a woman for her beauty (only), he
will see unpleasant things in her”.
Regrettably, sometimes „beauty‟ dazzles the insight of
most youth and they sacrifice most of the values such
are religiousness, gentleness, brightness, etc. upon it.
The apparent attractions and charms deprive them of
seeing the reality of existence, which is to serve
Almighty Allah, the exalted, through marriage. Thus,
they establish marital life upon a weak and unstable
foundation. May Allah (SWT) give our brothers the
will-power to retrace the right path of Islam when they
are to choose their life partners. Amin.
Resultantly, after a short period of less than twelve
months, when that freshness and apparent attractions
faded out, the enthusiasm, emotional storm of passions
subside then dismays, disagreement and
misunderstandings evolve on the scene, and the
displeasing factors and peculiarities become obvious.
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The relationship, which is established for the sake of
Allah, is an eternal and everlasting bondage and any
marital relationship contrary to it would be unsteady,
unstable and unpleasant. May Allah, the exalted, gives
our brothers the will-power to establish marital life for
the sake of Allah, the exalted. Amin.
2.7 TWO SUITORS PROPOSING A SISTER‟S HAND IN
MARRIAGE
Islam prohibits two brothers from competing with one
another to secure marriage with one sister. This is
because such situation is likely to develop into serious
enmity between two Muslim brothers. The holy prophet
(pbuh) is reported to have said: “A believer is a brother
of a believer, hence it is not lawful for him to bargain
upon the bargain of a brother, or propose (the hand of
a girl) on the marriage proposal of his brother, until
the latter (voluntarily) withdraws the (his own)
proposal”.
Moreover, the prohibition will become effective only if
the brother already proposing the sister has sought the
permission of the parents or guardian and have been
given the permission to propose the sister.
Brothers and sisters in Islam, this is the message of
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to you. We should all fear
Allah and deal justly with one another in matters of
marriage proposal in the community of Muslims. As are
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all known and are all aware that this has been a
problem in our community today. There is an absolute
need to put ourselves into order and regulate our
activities. May Allah, the exalted, make easy our
premarital activities. Amin.
Marry those among you who are single (not married) and the
virtuous ones among you slaves, male or female. If they are in
poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: For
Allah is ample giving, and He knoweth all things (Q24:32).
However, He (SWT) said also: Let those who find not the
wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah
gives them means out of His grace (Q24:33).
2.8 UNLAWFUL FORMS OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM
There are a lot of forms of unlawful marriage. These
marriages are named in Islamic Law Books as forbidden
forms of marriage. These include:
1. Temporary marriage for enjoyment generally
contracted for a stipulated period such as a
month, semester, a year or more.
2. Marriage by exchange (trade by barter) without
the mention of dowry
3. Marriage with a triply divorced wife by the same
husband
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4. Marriage with a person (male or female) in
pilgrims dress already with the intention of
perform hajj (major or minor)
5. Marriage during „Iddah‟ (i.e. waiting period of a
woman who was already divorced by another
man
6. Marriage without guardian
7. Marriage with a pagan (male or female)
8. Marriage with person within the prohibited
degree, especially, closely and biologically related
such as brothers and sisters of the same father
and mother or the same father or mother, only,
etc.
This is why incest is prohibited in Islam and other
religions that were established by Allah, the
exalted.
9. Marriage with a sick person
10. Secret marriage (marriage established is kept only
between the couples and the witnesses)
11. Marriage with a fifth wife by exceeding the four
wives stipulated for any true believer.
Today, some people are having more than eighty (80)
wives and they are still claiming to be Muslims, while
they have overstepped their boundaries. May Allah, the
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exalted, preserve our faith for us throughout our life
time. Amin. While those that have gone astray, may
Allah, the exalted, straighten their paths and show them
the right path. Amin.
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CHAPTER THREE
3.0 FACTORS AFFECTING (THREATENING)
MARRIAGE IN THE CONTEMPORARY SOCIETY
OF TODAY
There are several factors treating marriage
establishment in an Islamic community of today. These
could be:
i. Social factor e.g. tribalism, racism, feeling of
superiority or inferiority, family status.
ii. Economic factor e.g. poverty, lack of means of
livelihood.
iii. Educational factor, e.g. seeking for modern
education, especially in tertiary institutions.
iv. Western media propaganda.
v. Doing away with “Shari‟ah” in the Muslim
community.
vi. Misery among the Muslims
Shari‟ah refers to the code of Islamic law derived from
the Qur‟an, the Prophet‟s traditions, as well as from
consensus of the legal jurists (Ijma‟a) and analogy to
other established principles from Islamic law (Qiyaas).
3.1 PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH MARRIAGE
There could be some problems associated with
marriage. Of course, animosity, hatred, frigidity may
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occur between husband and wife. But these occur
because of husband‟s injustice to his wife or wife‟s
disobedience to her husband.
Problems associated with marriage keep away when
there is a concord understanding and love for the sake
of Allah between the couple.
In addition, some problems associated with marriage
are the handiwork of the couple. For instance, a
marriage which was established and retained through
fornication would definitely be threatened by problems.
Marriage established without the consent of parents
from both sides of the couple, or one side of the couple,
would surely be faced with problems. Marriage
established not for the sake of Allah (SWT) would
naturally face disastrous end. May Allah (SWT) guide
and protect all marriages established based on shari‟ah.
Amin.
3.2 FACTS AND FIGURES ON PROBLEMS
ASSOCIATED WITH LACK OF MARRIAGE IN THE
SOCIETY
The western media such as CNN, BBC, and VOA have
been campaigning for nudity among womenfolk and
intermingling of opposite sexes in order to discourage
marriage among people because they view that mixing
between males and females adolescents and men and
women is a matter that is accepted and normal. They
even allege that intermingling and nudity curbs
people‟s desire and restrains lust.
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However, it is glaring and clearly understood by any
person in his senses that if both opposite sexes are
starving sexually, and morally weak, then the
temptation will be even stronger in a society where
opposite sexes freely mix. This is why it was recorded
by At-Tirmizhi that the Prophet (pbuh) said: It is
prohibited for a man to be alone with a woman
otherwise satan will be the third party (with them).
Also, Bukhari and Muslim related that the Prophet
(pbuh) said: “It is prohibited for man and woman to be
alone together except those who are very near family
members.
They also related that the Prophet (pbuh) said: Beware
of entering upon women (while alone in their
apartments). A man asked what about the brothers-in-
law (i.e. a relative of the wife or husband who is not one
of those prohibited for marriage)? The Prophet (pbuh)
replied, “the in-law is like death” (i.e. more dangerous
and easier to commit fornication with than the other
non-relatives).
3.3 EXPERIENCE OF THE PERCENTAGE OF
PREGNANT GIRLS IN THE AMERICAN HIGH
SCHOOLS
Experience contradicts the allegation of the western
media propaganda. According to Lebanese Sunday
newspaper, issue No. 650, regarding the sex scandals in
American colleges and universities, in one city the
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percentage soared to 48%. The news continues as
highlighted below.
 “The sexual scandals between male and female
students in American universities and colleges,
reoccur and increase each year”
 Students demonstrate in the American universities
and cry; “we want girls! We want to enjoy
ourselves!”
 “Students attack the girls‟ bedrooms at night and
steal their underwear”
 The head of the university commented on the
incident saying, „most of the students both male and
female, suffer from a tremendous sexual appetite,
and there is no doubt that modern life is the major
cause of such perverted acts‟.
 Last year, statistics showed that 120,000 children
were born out of wedlock by girls under twenty (20)
years of age. Most of them were college and
university students”.
 The police in the state of Rhode Island reported that
last May, 66 university students spent the weekend
in providence. They returned to jail instead of
returning to the university because they were
suspected of illicit sexual acts and some were using
drugs.
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 The newspaper quoted a social worker (educator)
Margaret Smith, as saying: “female students only
think with their emotions, and with that which
corresponds to their emotions. More than 60 percent
of them failed their exams, primarily because they
are thinking about sex rather than their studies or
their futures. Only 10% of them are still chaste.
Alhamdullihai, reality contradicts the allegation of the
western media propaganda, because if intermingling
and nudity curbs people‟s urges and weakens lust, why
have sexual immoralities and moral deviations become
dominant in the western nations (Ulwan, 2002, Page, 40
– 46).
3.4 SOME SHOCKING FACTS AND FIGURES
 Al-Ahram newspaper on May 7, 1965 published,
“The British society to cure homosexuality reported
that there are at least one million British
homosexuals”.
 Al-Akhabr newspaper published on May 24, 1965
that: 100,000 Swedish women participated in a
demonstration against unlimited sexual freedom
(lesbianism)
 George Baloushi wrote in 1962, in his book entitled
The Sexual Revolution that President Kennedy
declared, “The American future is in danger because
her youth are loose and overcome by their desires
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without taking any responsibility for their actions.
Six out of seven applicants for military service are
unfit physically and psychologically due to their
sexual desires”.
 At the same time, President Khrustove also declared
in 1962 that the future of Russian‟s youth is in
danger because they are loose, and overcome by
their sexual desires.
 George Baloushi also mentioned that in 1964, a
group of the top doctors in Switzerland proposed a
suggestion to the King and the parliament to enact
laws to control the unrestrained sexual practices that
posed a threat to the community and its health.
 The Middle East newspaper published on June 15,
1979 that 75% of European men cheat on their wives,
and that a smaller percentage of the women cheat on
their husbands. In many cases, the husband and wife
are aware of that his spouse is cheating on him, yet
the marital relationship may continue.
 The Herald Tribune published on June 29, 1972 that
researchers in America have discovered that the
trend to commit incest is spreading within western
society in general and particularly in American
society. They report that this crime is committed by
one in ten families. Most of those who have sexual
intercourse with their daughters, sons, brothers,
sisters, or mothers are of high class. Only one case in
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twenty is taken to court or given medical attention,
as it is committed secretly. Most cases take place
between the father and his daughter Ulwan (2002:46
- 48)
All quoted sex deviations occur due to lack of
establishing legal marriage among the western
communities. May Allah open their hearts to the light of
Islam. Amin.
3.5 SOLUTIONS/SUGGESTIONS
When problems are investigated thoroughly and facts
and figures are gotten from data available, then there is
a need for proffered solution.
Problems threatening marriage could be crushed by:
 De-educating the Muslim Ummah from the western
propaganda and ways of life.
 Re-educating the Muslim Ummah about the shariah
according to Qur‟an and Sunnah
 Establishment of Islamic society by the Muslim
Ummah e.g. Republic of Afghanistan, etc.
 Establishment of just leadership in the society and
election of good people into political office
 Establishment of marriage at the right time
 Polygamous homes should be fully established in
the Islamic society
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 Women attitudinal changes towards polygamy
system of marriage established by Allah (SWT)
 Discharge of justice by husbands that are fortunate
to practice polygamy
In conclusion, every one of you who listens to me with
an open mind would recognize that immutable facts
have been forwarded and logically cross-examined by
the reality of nature that man‟s society cannot live in
peace and harmony in the absence of legal marriage,
because Islam is a religion of realism in balance with
human nature. There is neither honour for Muslims nor
stability for human kind save by following the
techniques and principles of Islam, since it lightens life
for the world. As said by Allah (SWT) in the glorious
Qur‟an … There has come to you from Allah a (new)
light and a perspicuous book. Where with Allah
guides all who seek his good pleasure to ways of
peace and safety, and leads them out of darkness, by
His will, unto the light, guides them to a path that is
straight … (Q5:15 – 16).
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CHAPTER FOUR
4.0 ISLAMIC PROSPECTIVE OF POLYGAMY
Polygamy is a situation whereby a male Muslim
marries more than one wife. In Islam, this is permitted
to men only, because of the polygamist nature of men.
This is why even the non-Muslims who condemn
polygamy are caught committing extra-marital affairs
with dozens of mistresses.
The issue of polygamy has caused much concern to
non-Muslims. They consider it to be oppression by man
against the womenfolk. They have made the allegation
simply because they have misunderstood the concept
and the rationale behind it. However, the concept of
polygamy is to make sure that the society is free of
extra-marital affairs that would definitely surface if
surplus population of women are left without a life
partner. This is why in the chapter of Nasa‟i, verse 3,
Allah, the exalted said: … marry women of your choice,
two or three or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able
to deal justly (with your wives), then (marry) only one or
that which your right hands possess (i.e. slave girl). That will
be more suitable, to prevent you (husband) from doing
injustice (Q4:3).
Islam does not make it obligatory upon male Muslims
to marry more than one wife. This is because it is
incumbent for a Muslim who practices polygamy to
maintain equality of treatment among the wives. It was
stated by the Prophet (pbuh): “Anybody who has two
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wives but refuses to treat them equally will appear
without one side of his body on the day of judgment”.
It is optional for a female Muslim to marry a male
Muslim that is having wife already. While the wife at
home cannot stop her husband from marrying a second
wife. It is expected of her, Islamically, to be praying for
her husband to get a food and religious wife, her sister
in Islam, to come and join her at home as blessed life
partner and a friend.
One of the concepts of polygamy is reproduction. There
are situations where the wife at home proves barren,
and the husband likes to have children. Sometimes, the
wife at home is fertile, but always, experiences
miscarriage. It would be unfair for her husband to
divorce her for a fault which is not her own. In these
circumstances, it would be easier for him to take
another wife. Likewise during the period of war or
calamity when men are killed and women are left
behind in large number, polygamy can provide the best
solution. For instance, during the First World War,
more than ten million (10,000,000) European and
American men were killed. The remaining surviving
men were forbidden to marry more than one wife. The
widows were therefore forced to go out in search for
means of subsistence. It was in that way that they were
exposed to committing adultery and bearing
illegitimate children. Those who were gainfully
employed were not paid as much salary as their male
counterparts. Because of the oppression against them,
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these women started to stage demonstrations, and
industrial strikes, giving lectures and writing in
newspapers fighting for their freedom. Having failed to
achieve much of these, they asked for voting rights and
representation in legislative houses. But inspite of all
these struggles, a man in the present century in Britain
still earns salary much more than that of a female
counterpart.
There are some Muslim countries, since 1980th, like
Tunisia which attempted to bar (stop) polygamy. The
mistake became apparent when the law caused more
harm than good by giving way to prostitution and
adultery which are forbidden in Islam. There was an
incident narrated by the late Sheikh Al-Alzhar Abdul
Halim Mahmud over the law in Tunisia. The Tunisian
police were informed that a man marry a second wife.
He was therefore pursued and arrested in the bride‟s
room. When he was asked at the charge office about the
second marriage he made. He answered that he made
no second marriage. He was asked further whether he
was not the one who kept her there (at the house he was
arrested), responsible for her feeding and
accommodation. He answered „yes‟. He was asked
whether he attended her and he said „yes‟. So the police
wanted to know what his relationship with her was. He
answered that she was just his mistress. From there he
was discharged. This indicated that mistress to them
was not an offence but taking a second wife is an
offence.
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Nevertheless, one of the major reasons for polygamy in
Islam is to reproduce and have more people who will
serve the creator, as stated above. Our beloved Prophet
(SAW) said in one of his authentic tradition: “Marry the
young and procreate (reproduce) for I will be proud of
your numbers on the Day of Resurrection in
comparison with the followers of other Prophets”.
(Ahmad & Tabarani).
Another reason for polygamy is to marry surplus
females created and preserved by Allah, the exalted.
Statistics has shown that there are more females than
their male counterparts. In fact, even at birth, more
females are given birth to safely than the male foetus,
because female foetus resists diseases and shocks in the
womb than the male foetus. Every paedriatric Nurse
will tell you the same thing. This is why in India
according to Dr. Zakari Naik, more than three thousand
(3000) foetuses are aborted on daily basis when they are
identified to be female foetus. This implies that about
one million, eighty thousand female foetuses are
aborted every year. By implication, more than one
million believing servants of Allah, the exalted, are
killed annually. “Inna lillahi wa Inna Illayhi Raji‟un”.
Also, more than a decade ago statistics has shown that
there are more than 7.8 million females more than
males. In India, there are more than 5 million females
than females in New York, there are about 25 million
gays (homosexuals) in U.S.A. only. This implies that
there would be more than 30 million surplus women in
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42
USA that would not have life partners, because gays are
not interested in the opposite, rather than their own sex.
In fact, in USA and most parts of the West (Europe)
gays marriage (marriage between two men) has been
constituted in their constitutions. “Inna lillahi Wa Inna
Illayhi Raji‟un”.
Also, over ten years ago in Germany, there are surplus 5
million women more than men. This by implication
means that if each man marries one woman, then 5
million women would not have life partners. These
surplus women who will marry them? They cannot
marry animal or jinns. They have to marry human
beings. The only solution and option left is for these
surplus women to marry men that have already
married. Anything short of this, these women could be
a threat to the entire society. This is why the system of
keeping mistresses is common and practiced in Europe
and most parts of the world that condemns polygamy.
In Russia, for more than a decade there are surplus 9
million women more than men. This implies that if each
man marries one woman, there would be 9 million
women without a life partners. The only solution and
option left is the Islamic system of marriage
(polygamy).
Allah, the exalted, knows best the number of females is
more than the number of males throughout the world.
Although, Nigerian census (2007) shows that there are
more males than females. In spite the fact that even at
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43
pregnancy stage and during delivery, female foetus has
a better chance to survive than the male foetus. During
the time of wars men are killed. In Nigeria, during the
civil war only, millions of Biafran and Nigerian soldiers
were killed. During the recent crises in some parts of
Nigeria, between 1999–2007, hundred thousands of men
were killed; some were displaced from their native
land, while some were rendered invalid as a result of
serious injuries sustained during the civil unrest. One
would wonder where the National Population
Commission (NPC) of Nigerian has generated this data
from. No wonder most states rejected most of the result
announced with regards to their respective state
population result. In fact, there is an absolute need for
the NPC to revisit this exercise in order to validate the
population result. This is because if the datum of the
population result is subjected to “falsification test”, it
would definitely fail.
In a nutshell, the problem of surplus females in any part
of the world could be solved through polygamy.
However or whoever desires paradise will race (run)
towards good deeds, whoever fears hell fire will abstain
from temptation, whoever is certain of death will cease
to make merry and whoever recognizes the world will
bear its difficulties with case. This is why the Prophet
(SAW) said: do whatever you can! But do not forget that
you will have to account for all your doings (Hadith-
Sharif). May Allah (SWT) make it easy for all of us.
Amin.
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4.1 POLYGAMY
Under the title of confusing questions a woman wrote
to Al-Ahram newspaper in March 19, 1999. She said
“what I write about is a very critical issue and needs to
be solved since it is a public problem. She wrote the
article in an interrogative style. She asked the following
questions:
1. What can a woman do after reaching forty years
without a husband? Must she be driven into
corruption or to delay marriage until she enters
Paradise in the hereafter?
2. What can a divorced or a widow (whether she
has children or not) do? Why do men seeking
marriage disregard her? Is it fair to let her live
alone suppressing her desires along the life?
3. Why does a wife enjoy her husband alone and
forbids him to marry another? Does she own
him? What will she do if she herself becomes a
widow or a divorced? Would she accept that fate?
Is there anyone who can guarantee that she will
not suffer what we suffer?
4. Is it permissible for a woman to have some
medicine to suppress her desire of marriage?
What is this kind of medicine? As for fasting, we
know that it is a protection but it does not
eradicate one‟s desire at all.
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Orientalists and their followers among the Muslims,
westerners, try to devote their efforts to demolish the
tenets of Islam. They try to raise false accusations and
doubts against the polygamy system in Islam. They try
to make women believe in their false accusations.
Therefore, they circulate that polygamy is only limited
to Muslim societies and uncivilized people.
They claim that the polygamy system is only
established to fulfill men desires. It destroys the dignity
of women and usurps their rights. Likewise, it
demolishes the principle of equality between men and
women in which they should be devoted completely to
each other.
Furthermore, they claim that polygamy creates grudge
between a husband and wives as it does among wives
themselves. It is also a source of dispute and grudge
among the stepbrothers that leads to the spreading of
anarchy, instability in the family life and the immorality
of the offspring.
Let us now refute such ignorant envious accusations. As
a matter of fact, polygamy was prevalent before the
advent of Islam in many nations: the Israelites, the
Arabs, the Indians, the Burhams, the Persians, the
Zoroastrians, the Athenians, the Chinese, the
Babylonians, the Assyrians, the Egyptians, the German
and the Saxons.
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In his book, “The Woman in the Qu‟ran”, Abbas al-
Aqqad said, „before Islam, the social laws disregarded
the rulings of marriage including polygamy. It was
lawful for a man to marry whatever number of women
he liked so long as he could afford them. Thus, the civil
laws, before Islam permitted polygamy and the
adoption of maids without limit‟.
Judaism allowed unlimited polygamy. Nothing
concerning the prohibition of polygamy was stated in
Torah. All prophets mentioned in the Torah had many
wives. David and Solomon had hundreds of wives and
maids.
In Old Testament, it was stated that Solomon „had 100
wives and 300 maids‟. It was stated also in the Torah,
“Isu went to Ishmael and added the daughter of
Ishmael son of Ibrahim and sister of Niabut to his
wives”. Concerning Jacob, son of Isaac, Torah stated,
“then he got up in this night and took his two wives, to
maids and his eleven sons to cross Yabuk pool”.
Narrated Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with
him), the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Tonight I will go round (i.e. have
sexual relations with) one hundred
women (my wives) everyone of who will
deliver a male child who will fight in
Allah‟s cause”. On that, an angle said to
him, „say: if Allah wills‟. But Solomon
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did not say it and forgot to say it. Then
he had sexual relations with them but
none of them delivered any child except
one who delivered a half person. The
Prophet (pbuh) said, if Allah wills. Allah
would have fulfilled his desire and that
saying would have made him more
hopeful”.
Hence, it turned out that Judaism allows polygamy. As
for Christianity, there is not explicit text in the Gospels
prohibiting polygamy. Nevertheless, in some of Paul‟s
epistles, there is an indication that polygamy is lawful.
He said, “It is obligatory for a Bishop to have only one
wife”. (Paul‟s first epistle to Timanum). To be
obligatory for a Bishop to have only one wife is an
indication that other Christians are allowed to practice
polygamy. It has been historically proven that some
early Christians got married to more than one wife.
Among the early church fathers, there were some who
had many wives.
In his book “The Woman in the Qu‟ran”, Abbas al-
Aqqad said, “Waster Mark, an authentic historian on
polygamy stated, „with the approval of the church,
polygamy remained allowed until the seventeenth
century. It was too common to be counted by the church
and the state”.
It was well known that Martin Luther, the evangelists‟
leaders, was the first to codify polygamy. Furthermore,
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he protested against the renunciation of priest to
marriage to such an extent that he left his priesthood
aside and got married to a nun (i.e. holy sister). All
what he did was to draw a new way of thinking. It was
stated that he would speak about polygamy on various
occasions without objection.
Contemporary Christianity admits unlimited polygamy
in Africa for the Christian Africans. In his book, “The
Woman Between Islamic Law and Man-made Laws”,
Mustafa as-Siba‟i stated, “Christians in Africa depend
on polygamy as a means to disseminate their mission. It
is these missionaries, who said “it is not proper to
penetrate in the social affairs of pagans, since paganism
has been established among them; it is not prudent to
prevent them from marrying many wives as long as
they are Christians who follow Christ‟s creed.
Therefore, they have officially announced that it is
lawful for African Christians to make unlimited
polygamy”.
He (may Allah have mercy on him) also, Christians in
the West have found that women started to outnumber
men especially after the two world wars. They found
themselves facing a serious social problem of the steady
increases of women over men. Until now, they are still
helplessly trying to find a practical solution. It was
among the suggested solutions to allow polygamy”.
In 1948, there was a conference for youths in Munich,
Germany, the conference discussed the problem of the
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increase in the number of women over men after the
war. Many solutions for this problem were examined by
then. Eventually, the result which the conference
recommended to solve the problem was polygamy.
Some western thinkers praised the polygamy system
and called for it as a solution to save the society and to
give every woman her right to be a mother. Gustav
Lubon in his book “Arab Civilization”, says „the
principle of Eastern polygamy is a good system, which
elevates the morals of the nation‟s adopting it,
strengthens the unity of the family and grants the
women respect and happiness beyond the European
woman‟s imagination”.
Al-Aqqad also stated, in his book, “The Woman in the
Qur‟an”, some points of views of European
philosophers concerning polygamy. He quoted Dr.
Lebeau‟s statement, “as a matter of fact, the European
laws will one day allow polygamy. He also cited
Ahranfil as saying, „Polygamy is needed to preserve the
Arian progeny‟.
In the pre-Islamic period before Islam polygamy was
unrestricted and unlimited. Abu Dawud related in his
“Sunan” on the authority of al-Harith ibn Qays that he
said:
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“I embraced Islam while I had eight
wives. When I mentioned that to the
Prophet (pbuh), he said “choose only
four of them”.
Tirmidhi reported in the authority of „Abdullah ibn
„Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both).
“Abu Ghaylan ibn Sulayman att-Thaqafi
embraced Islam and he had ten wives
whom he married during the pre-Islamic
period. His wives also embraced Islam
with him. Thereupon, the prophet (pbuh)
commanded him to choose only four of
them”.
Hence, we can conclude that the polygamy system is
not only applicable to Islam but also to many nations
before the advent of Islam, to all heavenly laws that
were revealed before Islam and to Arabs in the pre-
Islamic period. Allah, the Almighty says in His glorious
book:
Do they not travel through the land, so
that their hearts (and minds) may thus
learn wisdom and their ears may thus
learn to hear? Truly it is not their eyes
that are blind, but the hearts which are
in their breasts.
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4.2 POLYGAMY IN ISLAM
When Islam was revealed, polygamy was common
among people. There might be one husband who had
about ten wives. During the pre-Islamic period, it was
unlimited polygamy. Then came Islam to put a severe
limit that could not be surpassed. A Muslim can have
only four wives provided that the treats them fairly,
otherwise he can only marry one or what he possesses
of slave girls.
In his book “In the shades of Qur‟an”, Sayyid Qutb
said, “Islam came to limit not to release and to restrict
polygamy by justice not give free hand to man‟s desires”. But
why does Islam allow polygamy? Islam is a realistic
system that matches human nature in all circumstances
time and place. It preserves the human hygiene and
morals by fighting any kind of corruption or perversion.
Thus, if we put such Islamic properties into
consideration when dealing with the issue of polygamy,
we would realize that rationale behind polygamy in
Islam.
First of all, we may face an increase in the number of
women over men. That is a natural increase even at the
time of peace. Thus how could be solve this problem? Is
it enough to let the society treat itself according to
circumstances and chances? Therefore, we should have
a principle that governs and treats such a problem. We
have only three cases when women outnumber men.
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i. Either a man marries only one woman and leaves
the others without marriage.
ii. Either a man has a woman in a legitimate
marriage and another concubine(s).
iii. Or he has more than one in marriage
The first case is undoubtedly against the human nature.
This is because a woman cannot live without a husband
with whom she finds love and safety. Just as a man
cannot only be satisfied with his financial and material
progress so is a woman who is created to be a wife and
a mother. Therefore, a man and a woman are alike
concerning the need to marriage. The second case is
against righteousness and chastity. It also degrades a
woman and strips her dignity. As for the third case, it is
what Islam recommends as a conditional dispensation
to solve the problem of the shortage of men.
Secondly, the fertility period of a man is longer than a
woman. It may be 70years for him and 50years for her
there is no doubt that among the goals of the creation of
man and woman is to populate the earth by
reproduction. Therefore, it is incredible not to make use
of the man‟s fertility period that exceeds the woman‟s. It
is not obligatory for everyone to do that. But it is rather
permissible to fulfill such an innate requirement. That is
the nature of the divine legislation which fits our
nature. Unlike the man-made laws this divine
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legislation is a comprehensive system that tackles all
probabilities for such case.
i. To suppress the man and deprive him of fulfilling
his natural desire to preserve a woman‟s dignity.
ii. To give him a free hand to commit adultery and
have concubines.
iii. To allow polygamy in accordance with the
circumstances he lives in.
The first case is undoubtedly against the human nature
and unbearable. The second case is against Islam and its
good manners that aim to elevate the human life in
order to be convenient to human beings whom Allah
honoured over animals. As for the third case, it is the
only way to fulfill the natural requirements of human
beings. It matches the moral Islamic precepts. It keeps
the first wife in the shade of marriage so as to lose the
memoirs of her long life she led with her husband who
still loves her.
A wife may be barren but her husband longs for a child.
Such a person has only two alternatives:
a. To divorce her in order to replace her with a
woman who can fulfill his desire.
b. To marry another one in addition to his first wife.
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There is no doubt that the better choice for most women
is the second one. A wise woman would surely prefer
polygamy to helplessness.
As a matter of fact, even the barren woman wishes to be
amused by children no matter how they come. Hence,
we are now in a position that makes us understand
Allah‟s saying.
(Marry women of your choice, two or
three, or four, but if ye fear that ye shall
not be able to deal justly (with them)
then only one).
The permission of polygamy in the verse fulfills the
natural desires and fights against the life of corruption.
Whereas the restriction mentioned in the verse, protects
the marital life of anarchy and the wife of injustice or
humiliation.
The required justice mentioned in the above verse
applies to material affairs such as in dwelling, clothes,
food expenses, sleeping with and everything a man can
do. As for applying justice to human feelings, it is
beyond man‟s will. This is represented in Allah‟s
saying:
(Ye are never able to do justice between
wives even if it is your ardent desire. But
turn not away (from a woman)
altogether, so as to leave her (as it were)
hanging (in the air) if ye come to a
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friendly understanding, and practice
self-restraint. Allah is oft–forgiving,
most Merciful).
However, some opinionated people cite the above verse
as a proof for the prohibition of polygamy. Therefore,
the Prophet (pbuh) illustrated the concept of justice in
such case by saying, after treating his wives fairly.
“O Allah! That is what can I do of
justice among them. May you not blame
me as regards what you possess and I do
not possess (namely the heart)”.
Thus Islam introduced to polygamy such restrictions to
make man thing quietly and slowly least he commits
injustice which is forbidden by Islam.
Some people claim that polygamy is against a woman‟s
dignity and that it contradicts the principle of equality
between man and woman.
Those who circulate these false allegations are surely
wrongful Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Islam allows polygamy
for a man, not a woman. This is due to Allah‟s wisdom,
favours, and mercy. Exalted be He whose law cannot be
criticized or blemished. Had a woman married two
men, there would have been corruption in this world.
Husbands will fight each other. Chains of ancestry will
be confusing. Therefore, this is the wisdom behind
polygamy in Islam.
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Before we move on, we would like to declare that a
woman is not obliged to accept a married man as a
husband. She is completely free to agree or reject. In
case she agrees, Islam guarantees all her rights, and
dignifies her among the other wives.
But what we see, nowadays, of the people‟s perversion
when they misuse polygamy and in turn devastate the
institution of marriage; it is beyond the pale of Islam.
Sayyid Qutb said, “Whenever a generation perverts and
misuses this dispensation, they do not represent Islam
nor are their actions from Islamic precepts. They forsake
Islam and do not realize its conceptions, which call to
purity. The reason behind this is that they live in a
society where Islam does not govern nor does the
sacred law dominate.
Such a society is responsible for this anarchy and for
adopting marriage as a brutal desire. Therefore,
whoever wants to reform this case should call the
people to Islam, sacred law, purity, righteousness and
moderation. Whoever wants to reform the society
should call people to the Islamic way of life.
It is not enough to reform an aspect of life and leave
others aside. Islam is a system that encompasses all
aspects of life.
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4.3 MEGA POLYGAMY
This is a situation whereby a man marry more than
wives stipulated for him by Allah, the exalted, in the
glorious Qur‟an and according to the teachings of
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
Several men involved in mega polygamy from time
immemorial without having the right to do so, because
a man can practice mega polygamy only if commanded
by Allah (SWT). This is why many Prophets of Allah
(SWT) practice mega polygamy.
Recently, a widely read magazine, the News, Volume
31, No. 12, dated 29 September, 2008 circulated news on
one man who hails from Bida, Nigeria, known as Alhaji
Mohammed Bello Masaba, who is famously married to
eighty-six (86) women. This same mega polygamist is
still nursing the idea to add more ten (10) wives. The
story of this man and his lifestyle was circulated under
LIFE & STYLE, Pp. 43-48 of the magazine. One in his
right senses would wonder what will 84year old man be
doing with eighty-six (86) or ninety-six (96) wives if his
aim of adding ten more wives is achieved. The same
man claims to be a Muslim! „‟Innalillahi wa inna ilayhi
raji‟un‟‟.
Unfortunately, the mega polygamist claims that there is
no chapter of the Qur‟an or a saying of the Prophet
(pbuh) that limits polygamy. One would wonder if this
man is a true believer, if he actually knows and
understands the true teachings of the previously quoted
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verse of the Qur‟an and the sayings of Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh). This reminds me of the Prophet‟s
saying: “world is like a prison for a believer, while it is
Paradise for a disbeliever.
According to Islam as contained in the Muslims
Operational Guidelines (Qur‟an and Hadith) marrying
more than four (4) women is against the tenets of the
religion. Abu Dawud related in his “Sunan” on the
authority of al-Hadith Ibn Qays that he (RA) said; I
embraced Islam while I had eight wives. When I
mentioned that to the Prophet (pbuh), he (pbuh) said:
“choose only four of them”.
Also, Tirmizhi reported in the authority of Abdullah Ibn
Umar (RAH), Abu Ghaylan Ibn Salama ath-Thawafi
embraced Islam and he had ten wives whom he married
during the pre-Islamic period. His wives also embraced
Islam with him. Thereupon, the Prophet (pbuh)
commanded him to choose only four of them.
A Muslim can have only four (4) wives provided that he
treats them fairly, otherwise he can only marry one or
what he possesses of slave girls. Hence, we are now in a
position that makes us understand Allah‟s saying:
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Marry women of your choice, two or
three or four, but if you fear that you
shall not be able to deal justly (fairly
with them) then marry only one woman
(Q4:3)
Sayyid Qutb said in his book “In the shades of Qur‟an”
Islam cam to limit (polygamy) not to release and to
restrict by justice
- Islam came to limit and restrict polygamy
- Not to allow free hand to man‟s desire
- To ensure justice and fairness to man‟s wives
All praise is due to Allah (SWT), Islam is a realistic
system that matches human nature in all circumstances,
time and place. It preserves the human hygiene and
morals by regulating and correcting any kind of
corruption or perversion. May Allah (SWT) guide us to
the right path. Amin.
4.4 PROBLEM OF SURPLUS WOMEN IN EUROPE:
AHMED DEEDAT NARRATION
Nature seems to be at war with mankind. It appears
that it (nature) wants to take revenge for man‟s
cleverness. Man will hardly listen to the healthy,
practical solution to his problem, which the Beneficial,
Benevolent providence offers him. So it says, “go
simmer in your soup”!
It is an accepted fact that at birth the ratio of male and
female foetus is about equal everywhere. But in child
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mortality rate more male children die than female
children. Amazing! „‟The weaker sex-females”? At any
given time there are more widows in the world than
widowers. Every civilized nation has a surplus of
women. Great Britain, 4 million; Germany, 5 million;
Soviet Russia, 7 million; etc. But a solution acceptable to
the problem of the mighty USA, will be a solution
acceptable to nations everywhere. The statistics of this
most sophisticated nation (USA) on earth is more
readily verifiable.
4.5 THE PLIGHT OF THE AMERICA CITIZENS
We learn that the United States of America has a
surplus of 7.8 million women over a decade ago. This
means that more than ten years ago if every man in
America got married, there would still be 7,800,000
women left over, women who would be unable to get a
husband. Probably the number has double or triples as
at present. One thing we do know, and that is every
man will never get married for so many different
reasons. Man gets cold feet and finds many excuses. A
woman even if frigid would not mind getting married.
She would marry, even if it is just for shelter, protection
and livelihood.
The American problem (and some other European
nations) of surplus women is compounded. 98% of
American prison population for example is male. Then
it has 25 million sodomites (homosexuals).
Euphemistically they call them “gays”, a once beautiful
word meaning – happy and joyous – now perverted!
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The city of New York has one million more women than
men more than ten year ago. Even if the total male
population in this city (N. Y.) mustered enough courage
to unit with the opposite sex in matrimony; there would
still remain ore than 1,000,000 women without
husbands. But to make things worse, it is reputed that
one third of the male population in this city is „gay‟.
The Jews, a very vociferous lot in every controversy,
remain quite as mice, for fear of being labeled backward
Easterners. The church, with their millions of „born
again‟ votaries claiming to be the dwelling houses of the
Holy Ghost, is also silent on this topic.
The founders of the Mormon church, Joseph Smith and
Brigham. Young, claiming a new revelation in 1830
preached and practiced unlimited polygamy to solve
the problem of surplus women. The present day
Prophets of Mormonism (this is a belief in an unbroken
chain of living Prophets in churches) have abrogated
the teaching of their church fathers to placate American
prejudice on the subject of polygamy. What is the poor
American/Western/European surplus women to do?
They have literally gone to the dogs. (Alfred Kingsley in
his book, The Life of the American female) as in Deedat
(n.d).
America does everything in a big way. She produces
everything mighty. Mighty in promoting God and also
mighty in promoting the devil. Let us for once join the
mighty televange list (now-fallen) Jimmy Swaggart, in
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his prayer, in his well-researched book–
“Homosexuality”, he cries,: “AMERICA – GOD WILL
JUDGE YOU (meaning that God will destroy you),
FOR IF HE DOES NOT JUDGE YOU (destroy you), He
(God), MIGHT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO SODOM
AND GOMORRAH” for their hasty, utter destruction
because of their practice of homosexuality or their
wanton gratification of unnatural lust.
4.6 ONLY SOLUTION – RESTRICTED AND
REGULATED POLYGAMY
At Amin, the Prophet of Truth, the Spirit of Truth,
under inspiration of Almighty Allah supplies the
solution to their (surplus women) unfortunate plight.
Allah, the exalted, ordains, „Marry women of your choice,
two, or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be able
to deal justly (with them) than (marry) only one … Q4:3.
The Western world feigns tolerance towards the
millions of sodomites and lesbians in their midst. It is a
joking matter in the West for a man to keep a dozen
mistresses, and beget dozen bastard children every
year. Such lecherous creatures are proudly labeled as
studs (i.e. a slang used for a man considered to be
excessively virile. The term usually reserved for animal
husbandry. “Let him sow his wild oats, but do not
hold him responsible”! Say the West.
But, Islam says “make man responsible for his
pleasures”. There is a type of man who is prepared to
take on extra responsibility and there is a type of
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woman who is prepared to share a husband. Why place
obstacles in their way? You (non-Muslims) mock at
polygamy, which was practiced by the Prophets of God
as recorded in the Holy Bible, you forget that Solomon
the Wise has a thousand wives and concubines as
recorded in the Book of (I Kings 11:3), a healthy solution
to your momentous problem and yet smugly wink at
the gratification of unnatural lusts by sodomites and
lesbians! What a perversion? Polygamy was practiced
by the Jews and the pagans in the time of Jesus (pbuh).
He did not say a single word against it. Not his fault.
The Jews give him no peace to propound solutions. His
was a natural cry, “when he the Spirit of Truth is come,
he will guide you into all truth”. (John 16:13).
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CHAPTER FIVE
5.0 THE RATIONALE BEHIND THE MULTIPLYING OF
THE PROPHET (pbuh)
We have mentioned before that when the enemies of
Islam failed to attack Islam scientifically, they resorted
to conspiracy and false allegations. They did their best
to defame the prophetic character, especially concerning
his many wives. They claimed that he (pbuh) was
lustful and egocentric. In addition to many false
accusations concerning his marriage to Zaynab bint (i.e.
daughter of) Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her).
Thereby, we have to refute such allegations and show
the world the real character of the Prophet (pbuh) who
is infallible and beyond, worldly benefits. What we are
going to deal with can be summarized in the following
points.
1. Polygamy is not confined to the Prophet (pbuh)
but it also applies to earlier Prophets that were
sent to various nations before him (pbuh).
2. The rationale behind the many wives of the
Prophet (pbuh).
5.1 THE RATIONALE BEHIND THE MULTIPLYING OF
THE PROPHET‟S WIVES
In the very beginning we should bear in mind that
polygamy was common before Islam. In addition to
that, the Prophet (pbuh) had more than one wife in
Madina when he became old. Having mentioned these
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two facts let us shed the light on the rationale of
polygamy in the Prophet‟s life (pbuh) and the
circumstances, which had led to that.
i. Khadija bint Khuwailid
She was the first of the Prophet‟s wives. The
Prophet (pbuh) was twenty-five when he married
Khadija who was forty by then. She was widow
when he married her and they lived twenty-five
years together. The Prophet did not marry any
other woman during her life.
Hence, we can conclude that the Prophet‟s
marriage was void of any lust or desire. He was
famous of good and noble character. Had he
wanted to marry any beautiful and virgin
woman, she would have accepted him. However,
all what he wanted was purity and chastity.
ii. Sawdah bint Zam’ah
Shortly after Khadija‟s death, Abu Talib, the
Prophet‟s uncle died. The Prophet, therefore,
became alone without company. He needed
someone with whom he can find repose. Thereby,
he got married to Sawdah bint Zam‟ah (may
Allah be pleased with her). She was among the
emigrant believers.
When Sawda‟s husband, as-Sakran died, she
feared to return to her family lest they put her in
torture and convert her. Being informed about
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
66
her case, the Prophet (pbuh) offered to marry her
in order to defend her. Moreover, he wanted to
honour her and her husband for their strong faith
and their immigration in the cause of Allah. She
was fifty-five by then. All people admired and
were amazed by this marriage. The Prophet
married this solitary and poor widow to be an
example before all people to put before their eyes
the noble goals behind marriage.
iii. Aisha bint Abu Bakr
She was the only virgin woman whom the
Prophet married. She was nine years old when
the Prophet (pbuh) married her. By such a
marriage, the Prophet (pbuh) consolidated the
bonds of friendship with Abu Bakr. He abolished
the pre-Islamic system of brotherhood. In the pre-
Islamic period, the people were accustomed to
befriending one another to the extent that they
behaved like brothers by blood. Therefore, they
could not marry the daughters of whom they
befriended and took as brothers. Thus, when
Khawla went to Abu Bakr and bethroted A‟isha
to the Prophet (pbuh), he wondered, “could
A‟isha be lawful to him while she was his
brother‟s daughter? Then Khawlah went back to
the Prophet (pbuh) and told him what had
happened. Accordingly, the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Tell him, you are my brother in Islam
and your daughter is lawful to me”.
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
67
By such marriage, A‟isha became the most
knowledgeable of Muslim women in Sacred Law,
religion and Islamic behaviour, having married
the Prophet (pbuh) in the second year after the
Hijra, becoming the dearest of his wives to him in
Medina. She related 2210 hadiths from prophet
(pbuh) and after his death, leading figures of the
companions would come and ask her for legal
opinions, which she would supply. What a great
rationale behind such marriage!
iv. Hafsa bin Umar ibn Al-Khattab
Hafsa was the widow of Khanis Ibn Hudhafah.
He was among the early immigrants to Abyssinia
and fought in the batte of Badr. He died in
Madina due to wounds he received in the Battle
of Uhud. Then Umar offered to Abu Bakr and
Uthman to marry his daughter, Hafsa, but they
apologized. Accordingly, Umar complained to
the Prophet (pbuh) and he (pbuh) said,
“Hafsa will get married to
someone who is better than
Uthman and Uthman will get
married to someone who is better
than Hafsa”
Then the Prophet (pbuh) married Hafsa to give
equal honour to both Abu Bakr and Umar.
Nothing might be more desirable on the part of
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
68
the Prophet (pbuh) to offer Abu Bakr and Umar
as a reward for their truthful sincerity and their
sacrifices for the sake of Islam more than
marrying their dearest daughters. How noble was
the Prophet‟s attitude towards Umar, whoever
thinks of the Prophet‟s marriage to Hafsa will
realize that this marriage was not out of lust or
desire.
v. Zainab bint Khuzaimah
She was the widow of Ubaidah Ibn al-Harith
(may Allah be pleased with him), who was
martyred at the battle of Badr. She was sixty
when her husband died. Thus she needed some
kind of care. Accordingly, the Prophet, after he
came to know about her condition, married her to
join her to the other mothers of believers. But she
died shortly after the Prophet (pbuh) had married
her. It is said that she stayed two years or two
months with him. It is said also that the period,
which she lived with the Prophet, was just eight
or three months. As a whole, she was the only
wife of the Prophet (pbuh) who dies during the
Prophet‟s lifetime but after Khadija.
vi. Umm Salama
She was the first Muslim woman to immigrate to
Abyssinia. She had been married to Abdullha Ibn
Abd al-Asad who was martyred the battle of
Uhud. When he died, Umm Salama was sixty-five
by then. She had two boys and two girls. There
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
69
was none who would suffice her after the death
of her husband. Therefore, the Prophet (pbuh)
betrothed her for himself. She first apologized to
the Prophet (pbuh) because of her old age, her
orphans and the jealousy she had. But the
Prophet (pbuh) said “I am older than you and as
for jealousy I will supplicate Allah to remove it
from you and the orphans will be to Allah and
His Messenger (pbuh). This is the wisdom behind
such marriage to look after a widow and her
orphan kids.
vii. Zaynab bint Jahsh
She was the Prophet‟s cousin. The Prophet (pbuh)
gave his son by adoption, Zayd, Zaynab in
marriage. Adoption was one of prevalent
tradition in the pre-Islamic period. The adopted
was treated as a real son. He had the same rights
of inheritance and he was prohibited of to marry
the wives of his adopter.
Zayd‟s marriage with the Prophet‟s cousin
Zaynab bint Jahsh did not turn out happy.
Zaynab the high-born, looked down upon Zayd
the freedman who had been a slave. And he was
not comely to look at. Both were good people in
their own way and both loved the Prophet (pbuh)
but there was mutual incompatibility and this is
fatal to married life. Zayd wished to divorce her
but the Prophet (pbuh) asked him to hold his
hand and he obeyed. But when it became
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
70
impossible to live with each other, Zayd divorced
her.
The pagan superstition and taboo about adopted
sons had to be destroyed as Allah willed.
Therefore, Allah the Almighty commanded His
Messenger (pbuh).
To marry Zaynab even though the people would
circulate that Muhammad got married to his
son‟s wife. Thereupon Allah said,
“Than didst fear the people, but it
is more fitting that than shouldst.
Fear Allah. Then when Zayd had
dissolved (his marriage) with her.
We joined her in marriage to thee:
in order that (in future) there may
be no difficulty to the believers in
(the matter of) marriage with the
wives of their adopted sons, when
the latter have dissolved (their
marriage) with them. And Allah‟s
command must be fulfilled.
(Al-Ahzab:37).
What was aimed behind the Prophet‟s marriage
to Zaynab was to destroy the superstitions of
erecting false relationships to the detriment or
loss of true blood relations.
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
71
viii. Juwairiya bint al-Harith
She had been married to one of the severest
opponent to Islam and the Messenger of Allah,
who was killed during the battle of Banu al-
Mustalaq. Then, Juwairiyah was taken as a
prisoner of war. She was under Thabit Ibn Qays
who wrote a contract for her emancipation. She
went to the Prophet (pbuh) asking his help. But
the Prophet (pbuh) said, “would you like
something what is better than emancipation? She
asked, “what is that?” The Prophet replied, “I pay
your debt on your behalf and marry you”, she
answered, “Yes, Messenger of Allah”. Then the
Prophet said, “I have done that”.
No sooner did the Prophet (pbuh) declare his
marriage to Juwairiya than the companions of the
Prophet (pbuh) came with her tribe and set them
free saying: “These prisoners are the Prophet‟s
relatives by marriage”. A‟isha said, “When the
Prophet (pbuh) married Juwairiya, when they
(Muslims) set free about a hundred families of
her tribe. Thus, there is no other woman, as I
think, who blessed her tribe greater than her.
After that all her people embraced Islam
willingly. That was the rationale behind such
marriage to disseminate the word of Allah all
over the world and to multiply the Muslims and
the helpers of Islam.
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
72
ix. Umm Habiba bint Abu Sufyan
She was the widow of Ubaidullah Ibn Jahsh with
whom she immigrated to Abyssinia to escape and
pressure her belief. There her husband converted
to Christianity and left her alone where he died
soon after. She was perplexed and did not know
where should she go: to Makka where her family
who might convert her or to stay alone without a
supporter abroad?
Then the Prophet (pbuh) sent to Negus, the King
of Abyssian to give him Umm Habiba in
marriage. Then, she agreed in overwhelming
happiness. That was the rationale behind such a
marriage. To honour this patient woman, to
protect her of trials in religion and to please the
hearts of her family.
x. Safiyya bint Huyay ibn Akhtab
She was a daughter of the leader of Banu
Quraizah. She was taken as a prisoner of war
after the murder of her husband in the battle of
Khaybar. When she was brought to the
Messenger of Allah (pbuh), he said to her, “your
father was a great Jewish enemy to me until Allah
slayed him”. She replied, “Allah says in His Book,
“No bearer of burdens can bear
the burden of another. (Al-
An‟am:164).
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
73
Then the Prophet (pbuh) gave her choice: either
to set her free to be his wife or to return her to her
family. She said, “O messenger of Allah, I liked
Islam and believed you before you had invited
me. Moreover, I have nothing in Judaism, no
father or brother, you gave me a choice between
disbelief and Islam. Allah and His Messenger are
more beloved to me than return to my tribe”.
Then the Prophet married her and made her
emancipation as her dowry.
However, the main reason for this marriage was
the keenness of the Prophet (pbuh) for Jewish
people to embrace Islam, or at least to abate their
enmity against Islam.
xi. Maymuna bint al-Harith
She was the widow of Abu Ruham Ibn Abdul
Uzza. She was the last wife the Prophet (pbuh)
married. The motivation behind this marriage
was that the Prophet (pbuh) wanted to attract the
people‟s hearts to Islam. Maymuna had many
relatives and kin in Banu Hashim and Banu
Makhzum.
Having mentioned the reasons and the
circumstances that led to multiplying the
Prophet‟s wives let us sum up these goals so that
they are easy to understand:
The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi)
74
1. Spreading Education among Women.
The situation required that some women
should take the charge of guiding and
teaching other women especially in
feminine matters which they may have felt
too shy to ask the Prophet (pbuh) about,
such as marriage affairs, menstruation,
postnatal childbirth and information about
purification.
2. Perfection of the Legislation
Such as the nullification of the superstition
of adoption which was prevalent in the
pre-Islamic period. It gage much time to
the Muslims to transmit the Prophet‟s
sayings and traditions. Thus, it was
mentioned that the Prophet‟s wives
narrated what exceeded three thousand
hadiths.
3. Social Solidarity
By marriage, the Prophet (pbuh) also
consolidated the bonds of friendship with
his companions.
4. Political Aims
The Prophet also gained the support of the
leaders of the tribe from who he married.
Furthermore, they willingly embraced
Islam.
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)
The concept of marriage in islam (2)

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The concept of marriage in islam (2)

  • 1. THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM BY SIRAJ MUH’D FUNTUA, MNIFST, MIFST, UK
  • 2. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) ii INTRODUCTION Indeed, all praise is due to Allah. We praise Him and seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from our soul‟s evils and our wrong doings. He whom Allah guides, no one can misguide; and he whom He misguides, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no (true) god except Allah – alone without a partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad (May Allah exalt his mention, and render him and his household safe and secure from every derogatory thing)1 is His servant and Messenger. O you who believe! Revere Allah the right reverence, and do not die except as Muslims (Q3:102). O people! Revere your Lord who has created you from a single soul, created from it its mate, and dispersed from both of them many men and women. Revere Allah through whom you demand things from one another, and (cherish the ties of) the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever-watchful over you (Q4:01) O you who believe! Revere Allah and say just words. He will then rectify your deeds and forgive your sins. He who obeys Allah and His messenger has certainly achieved a great victory (Q33:80 -81). Indeed, the best of speech is Allah‟s Book (Qur‟an) and the best guidance is Muhammad (SAW) guidance. The worst affairs (of religion) are those innovated (by people), for every such innovation is an act of misguidance leading to the hell fire (Muslim)2.
  • 3. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) iii We deem it a great pleasure and honour to compile and write a religious lecture of this nature on a relevant topic chosen by the M.S.S.N. We are particularly delighted and glad to share a few thoughts on this important topic “The Concept of Marriage in Islam”. May Allah, (SWT) straighten our paths and open the hearts of understanding of anybody who will read this book. Amin. In our world of chaos and confusion concerning the unending problems of sexual abuses and perversion, most of mankind has all but given up hope on how to come to terms with these intractable of all problems. If solution from natural laws of the Almighty Allah are not proffered, implemented and monitored to face-out this dilemma, the disaster that accompanies these crimes will be upon as a whole. We will pay, our children will pay and our children‟s children will pay; and the worst of all, the wrath of Almighty Allah would be upon us all in the Day of Judgment. We pray that such a dual face calamity will not be upon any one of us. Amin. Thankfully, we have the Divine Guidance from the glorious Qur‟an and authentic traditions of our beloved Prophet, the chosen one, may Allah exalt his mention and render him and his household safe and secure from every derogatory thing (SAW), on how to avoid these problems from the beginning by following the shari‟ah set out for us by the only one who knows His creation, that is Allah, the exalted. We present this booklet as a solution to one of the most difficult problems of our time. Remember the saying of Allah (SWT) in the glorious Qur‟an; O you, who believe, protect yourselves and your
  • 4. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) iv families from a fire whose fuel are men (people) and stones. (Q66:6). However, the only way to protect ourselves and members of the family is to know the Shari’ah, apply it in totality and protect its rules and regulations completely and forever. This is because a wise person will crush his ego and work for what he will need in the Day of Judgment to gain him entrance into paradise; while foolish person will run after the desires of his ego and then pray to Allah, the exalted (SWT), to take him to paradise. Nevertheless, the best wealth is the wealth of the soul. The best provision is right conduct. We crave the indulgence of our dear readers to open their hearts and chests, while reading this booklet, to accept the truth, and to show other people they come across the right path and inspire them to follow it. As you read this booklet, may the Almighty Lord bless you with understanding and comprehension of its teachings. Amin. Dear readers, we should not forget that we will all die on day and we shall al be buried, decayed and then assemble before the majesty court of Almighty Allah. This verse from the glorious Qur‟an, chapter of Ta-ha, verse 55 would serve as a reminder: “From the (earth) did He (Allah) create you (mankind), and into it shall we return you and from it shall we bring you out once again (so that mankind could be judged in the Day of Judgment). Q20:55. We have the belief that this is why Allah, the exalted, then admonish mankind in the chapter of Al-Imran,: O you who believe! Revere (fear) Allah the right reverence, and do not die except as Muslims. Q3:102.
  • 5. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) v May Allah bless us with undiluted belief so that we can fear Him as expected in order for us to gain admission into His indescribable Paradise. Amin.
  • 6. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 1 CHAPTER ONE 1.0 MARRIAGE IN ISLAM Since time memorial, marriage is considered as part and parcel of tradition in any civilized society. However, Islam makes marriage even more meaningful. This is because the family unit is extremely important in the sight of Allah (SWT). In fact, the topic which is discussed in details in the glorious Qur‟an is the family life, which is a product of marriage. The harmony in the family unit builds a better community and consequently determines the quality of life in a society. 1.1 MEANING OF MARRIAGE Islamically, marriage is a relationship that is established between a male and a female fewer than four criteria: a. Mutual agreement between the intending spouses b. Mutual agreement between the parents of both above in (a) c. Two witnesses that are known to be trustworthy in the society d. Nihla (i.e. dowry) Q4:4. The above points (a) to (d) are the Islamic conditions for the establishment of marriage between a male and a female.
  • 7. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 2 1.2 CLASSIFICATION OF MARRIAGE IN THE CONTEMPORARY WORLD OF TODAY Marriage has been classified in the contemporary world of today into seven (7) according to some writers: i. Marriage of one woman to many men. ii. Marriage of seeking for family lineage – marrying somebody in order to have similar lineage or quality characters of the person. iii. Marriage establishment between only a male and a female without the consent of either of the parents, leaders in the society and/or any witness in the society; e.g. keeping a mistress by most rich men. iv. Marriage of exchange of wives between two or more people. Two friends to agree to exchange their wives for certain periods of time due to lack of religious consciousness and jealousy. v. Marriage of trade by barter. A person buying a female from her father just like buying goods in the market. vi. Marriage of inheriting a female. By inheriting a wife from fathers especially or brothers. vii. Marriage of fornicating with a female openly and shamelessly, e.g. keeping a mistress just like a wife as practiced in the Europe. Our noble prophet (SAW) has already informed us of the criteria some people put into consideration before establishing a marriage. People marry due to beauty of a female, and due to lineage of a female; and due to the richness of a female and due to the religious
  • 8. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 3 consciousness of a female. He (SAW) said finally, I recommend to you (all) to marry a female because of her religious consciousness. Please let us be guided. 1.3 TYPES OF MARRIAGE BASED ON ABILITY/CERTAIN REASONS There are basically three types of marriage namely; 1. Compulsory (Farzhun) 2. Supererogatory (Sunna) 3. Non-Supererogatory (Makaruh) 4. Forbidden (Haram) 1.4 REASONS FOR MARRIAGE There are several reasons why people should get married. These include: i. Commandment of Allah (SWT) in the glorious Qur‟an. Suratu Nisai, verse 3; If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if your feat that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or that which your right hands possesses. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice. Q4:3 ii. It is a tradition of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Marriage is my tradition; he who dislikes my tradition (marriage) is not among my followers. (Hadith)
  • 9. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 4 iii. Natural weakness of human beings iv. Innate impulses and sexual urges of people. Q: Suratu Ar-Rum 30 Translation “… (That is) the nature of (Fitra) with which Allah has created mankind”. (Q30:30) Special Note Undoubtedly, Islam acknowledges the innate impulses and sexual urges of human beings. It should be noted that there cannot exist any contradiction between the law of Allah and the urges that He inculcates in man. How could such contradiction exist when the laws which Allah (SWT), the Almighty, laid down were for the sake of man to be His vicegerent on earth and to strive his utmost in building up its civilization3. v. Preservation of human race through reproduction. Another Hadith of Prophet said: … Abdul-Razaq and Al-Baihaqi reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: … O my followers, you should marry in order that you may reproduce and multiply, because I will be proud of you on the Day of Judgment before the other nations… This is why Islam prohibits monasticism (i.e. abstaining from marriage and regarding sexual urges as something filthy, with the intention to devote one‟s time to worship and drawing near to
  • 10. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 5 the creator, especially if the person is able, financially and physically, to marry4. Al-Baihaqi reported on the authority of Sa‟ad Ibn Abi Waqqas (RA) that the Prophet (SAW) said: “verily Allah has replaced monasticism with Islam for us”. This is why in another tradition of Prophet, At- Tabarani and Al-Baihaqi reported that the Prophet (SAW) said: “Whoever is able to marry and then does not do so, he is not from me”. Also, Bukhari and Muslim both recorded the narration of the three men who came to the home of the Prophet (SAW) and it was said by one of them, “as for me, I will abstain from women and never get married”. Later, the Prophet came and was informed of what they said. The Prophet (SAW) replied, „Indeed, I swear by Allah that among you, I am the most fearful of Allah and the most pious. However, I fast and break my fast, pray and sleep, and I marry women. So, whoever refrains from my way is not among my followers‟. vi. Satisfaction of sexual needs through righteous means is an act of worship that deserves reward in Islam.
  • 11. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 6 Muslim reported that Abu Tharr said: some of the Prophet‟s companions came to him and said, “The rich are getting all the rewards. They pray as we do, fast as we do, and also give charity from their wealth”. The Prophet (SAW) answered, “Has not Allah given you that from which you may give in charity? Verily, saying Subhanallah (Free is Allah from all deficiencies) is a charity, as is saying Allahu Akbar (Allah is the Greatest), La Illaha Illa Allah (there is no god but Allah), and Al-hamdulillahi (Praise be to Allah). Likewise, commanding what is righteous and forbidding evil are charities and having sexual intercourse with your legal mate (wife) is also charity”. The companions exclaimed, “O messenger of Allah, is one rewarded even for satisfying his desire?”. The Prophet (SAW) explained, „if one satisfied it (his desire) by prohibited means, (fornication, adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, etc) would not he be punished? Likewise, if he satisfies it (his desire) by legal means, he would be rewarded.‟ vii. Establishment and preservation of self-esteem in the society.
  • 12. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 7 1.5 CONSEQUENCES OF MONASTICISM Monasticism could simply be defined as a deliberate abstinence from marriage. Refusal to establish marriage in the society could lead to social pollutions such as: a. Fornication b. Lesbianism c. Homosexuality d. Bestiality e. Incest, etc. Special Note Do not forget to make references to what is happening in the schools (secondary and tertiary institutions) and homes, nowadays with regard to a–d above. See issues, facts and figures under discussion.
  • 13. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 8 CHAPTER TWO 2.0 THE RIPE TIME FOR MARRIAGE: ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE The right time for marriage is becoming a thing of concern among the Muslim community today. This is linkable to the latest western ideology that has become a thorn in the flesh of many Muslims. Some Muslims, learnered or illiterate, would not give out their daughter in marriage until she completes, National Diploma, Higher National Diploma or Degree Programme. Some Muslim men would refuse to marry until they secures a lucrative job or becomes rich, builds a house and buys a car. There are several other numerous excuses that are baseless and without substance, because in most of these proffered excuses are not in conformity with the Islamic injunctions and/or the teachings of the Prophet (SAW). However, the best time for marriage is hidden in the interior of man‟s nature and instinct. It is much like hunger and thirst which do not undergo any test and governed by any law which tells when to eat when man is famished and when to drink when he is absolutely in need of water to quench his thirst. The best time for marriage is the puberty age, which differs from one person to another. Some experience their puberty age early, while some lately. However, our beloved Prophet (SAW) married at the age of 25, while our leader Aliyu (RA) married Fatima (RA), the daughter of the Prophet (pbuh), at the age of 21. Nevertheless, puberty age is the
  • 14. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 9 period in which sexual desire and maturity has reached their desired completion in a person (male or female). And as interpreted by the Prophet (SAW): “It is like a fruit whose ripening is at its maturity and adult age”. When a person attains maturity and puberty stage of life, his time for marriage has ripened and delaying it unnecessarily would not be advisable. If the need for marriage knocks at the door of man‟s heart, the factor hidden inside a man‟s conscience may surface and say: I have not obtained my certificate yet, I have no money to pay the token for marriage; to build house where I and my wife would live, to cater for day-to-day requirements of marital life. I do not have the means to shoulder the financial need of the celebration, etc. My dear beloved brothers and sisters in Islam, we are all aware about the noise and turbulence, which is going on inside us. We are sure that we require a spouse. We know that we are apprehensive and feel a gap, avoid and solitude. We can perceive and hear our internal yearning for a life partner. We know it quite well that we are not that child we used to be a few years ago, because a change has developed inside us. Why do we deceive ourselves? Are we scared of poverty? Are we scared that we may not be able to continue or complete our education? Are we afraid we would not be able to manage and run our family expenses? My dear brethren in Islam, we should not be afraid or scared or anything. Allah, the exalted, is with us. He is
  • 15. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 10 all Beneficent, our Helper, and our Provide. We should all learn to trust Allah and rely upon Him in all our endeavours. In fact, marriage has a season and spring especially for female gender. And if this passes away, brother or sister would face a loss and subsequently, he/she would be disappointed. This is because the fruit which ripens and is not benefited from, gets spoilt and stale. Our beloved Prophet (pbuh) has said: O Muslim community! Your daughters are like ripe fruit on a tree. Fruit must be picked at its optimum moment, otherwise the sun or other agencies will spoil it. You must likewise give your daughters in marriage at the moment when they are ripe, and neither later nor sooner. If you leave them hanging about too long, their inevitable corruption will be your fault. They are human and their human needs (sexual desire and urge) must be met”. The above narrated tradition of the Prophet (SAW) clearly indicates that females should be given out for marriage as soon as they reach their puberty age. But today most of our sisters get married when they are already spoilt and become stale because of westernization. No wonder abortion is the order of the day among the female folks. Single mothers have become a vogue in our society today due to indiscriminate sexual activities among the youths and aged people. The only way to arrest this menace is to de-educate people about their western ideological
  • 16. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 11 beliefs and re-educate them on the true concept of marriage in Islam. In a book titled “The Life Story of Nana Fatima (RA)”, the daughter of our beloved prophet (SAW), it was narrated that: “Nana Fatima (RA) wedding with Aliyu (RA) took place in the month of Ramadhan, two years after migration from Mecca to Medina. As at then, she was fifteen (15) years old, while our leader, Aliyu the son of Abi-Talib was twenty-one (21) years old. It has been narrated from Anas the son of Malik (RA) he said I was with the messenger of Allah (SAW) then a revelation enveloped him. When he is fully conscious he (SAW) then said to me: “Anas do you know what Angel Jibril revealed to me? I then said my mother and father should be sacrificed for your sake, what did he (Jibril) revealed to you? He (SAW) then said the Lord has commended me to marry out Fatima (RA) to Aliyu (RA), go and call for me Abubakar (RA), Umar (RA), Usman (RA), Dalhat (RA), Zubayru (RA) and some people of Medina. I then went and called them. When they arrived and sat down, then the messenger of Allah (SAW) started with the sermon of opening as follows. All praise is due to the Lord (of the worlds), the only worthy of thanking on His favour. He is the only one worthy of worship with His ability, the only one worthy of obeying with His authority, the Ruler of heaven earth. He is that who created with his authority. He guides them (creation) with His rules and regulations. He elevated them with His religion (Islam) and He
  • 17. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 12 blessed them with prophet Muhammad (SAW), He made in-lawship to become a source of relationship (among mankind), or an issue that is made compulsory (among mankind) Almighty Allah, the exalted, said: He who has created man from water: Then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: For thy (your) Lord has power (over all things). (Q25:54). He continues with his statement: “the issues of the Lord do take place as He commands. His (SWT) command becomes effective with His authority. Every command (of Allah) has every jurisdiction has its limitation”. He then said: Lord has commanded me to marry out Fatima to Aliyu. I am informing you all that I married out Fatima to Aliyu on token of four hundred (400) dirham if he (Aliyu) accepted with this. On a tradition that is authentic and with obligation that is made compulsory (by Allah). May Allah (make them live in peace, in their marital life), bless them (and) purify their hearts (towards each other). May He (SWT) make their hearts to become a source of opening success and a means of wisdom and also of an acceptance to Muslims. I am saying this is my statement with seeking for the forgiveness of the Lord for myself and for you all. As at the time when Fatima (RA) was betrothed (married) to Aliyu (RA), he (Aliyu) was not in town, the messenger of Allah sent him on an errand. After
  • 18. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 13 he (RA) comes back, the messenger of Allah (SAW) looked at him and smiled, he (SAW) (then) said, oh Aliyu, the Lord has commanded me to marry out Fatima to you. And I married her to you on a token of four hundred (400) dirham. Then Aliyu (RA) said I accept the messenger of Allah (SAW). Then, our leader Aliyu (RA) fell on the ground, prostrated, thanking the Lord. After he (RA) raised his head (from prostration) then the messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “May Allah bless your union, bless you with a means of livelihood and May He (SWT) bless you with pious offspring from the both of you”. Dear readers, this narration of marriage between the most beloved daughter of our beloved prophet and our leader, Aliyu the son of Abi Talib, we can understand as follows: a. Is only the father that has the legal right to give out the hand of his daughter in marriage. However, the mother has an important role to play in giving out her daughter for marital bliss b. Nuptial knot (marriage) can only take place between a male and female in the presence of witnesses. c. Marriage cannot be consummated (sexual intercourse) between couples without a pronouncement of a token (a valuable gift) to be
  • 19. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 14 given to the wife-to-be. The token should always be small d. Marriage can be formalized in the absence of the husband-to-be. However, he shall be informed in due course. e. Husband-to-be may wish to challenge a token pronounced by the future father-in-law f. A virgin should be married out at a tender age of fifteen (15) years or even less depending on her nutritional assessment and growth g. A male could marry at the age of twenty-one (21) years as long as he earns a means of livelihood. h. Father-in-law is expected to bless the couple, as well as wish them success i. Couples should always thank Allah after marriage by worshipping especially for that occasion on that very day Allah, the exalted, knows best. 2.1 HER CONVEYANCE TO HER HUSBAND‟S HOUSE Nana Fatima (RA) parked into her husband‟s house in the month of Zhul-Hijja. Her bed was made out of skin, which is a round shape, while its top is soft. Then the messenger of Allah (SAW) sent Asma‟u, the daughter of Amru, to go and prepare the room (for Fatima). Then
  • 20. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 15 the messenger of Allah (SAW) entered (the room) he observed night prayer (in the room). Then he (SAW) for Nana Fatima (RA) and Ummu Aiman (Baraka) to come together. The both of them then came into the room and sat at the middle of Aliyu (RA) while he was in the room. Then the messenger of Allah (SAW) said this is my blood brother (i.e. referring to Aliyu). Then Umma Aiman said, he is your blood brother and you still marry out your daughter to him? Then he (prophet) said yes, in his position as my biological brother, but our biological relationship does not forbid him from taking the hand of my daughter in marriage. Then the Prophet (pbuh) said to Nana Fadima bring some water for me. She stood up and she covered her face because of shyness, she then brought the water in a container. He (pbuh) collected the container of water; he (pbuh) rinsed his month with water and poured it into the container of water. He (pbuh) then sad to her (Nana Fatima) come close to me (SAW), she came closer and sprayed the water on her weaved hair and head. He (pbuh) the (supplicated) saying: Oh Allah, I seek refuge with you from the devil, the accursed from your mercy, with her and her offspring (progeny). He (pbuh) said go and sit down. After that the water in her weaved hair and head sprang down her shoulders. He (pbuh) same did the same thing on our leader, Aliyu bn Abi Talib (RA).
  • 21. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 16 Dear readers, this narration of Nana Fatima (RA) teaches us the following lessons: a. Nuptial knot (marriage) between biologically related, persons as long as Islam does not forbid it or frowns at it. b. Is one of the duties of the father according to pure tradition of the prophet to escort his daughter to her husband house after the Nikah. He is also expected to pray for the couple. Dear fathers who had the opportunity to read this booklet, how many of you married out your daughter(s) and escort her to her husband‟s house on the first day of her marriage? I crave your indulgence to emulate our most beloved prophet, the chosen one (SAW). May Allah make it easy for all of us. Amin. 2.2 MY ADVICE TO PARENTS Perhaps you are unaware of what is going on in the society today. You all know what a number of difficulties have been created upon the way to marriage. You know what an amount of misfortunes and afflictions are brought into effect by some selfish parents that are without Islamic creed for their children in connection with their marriage. These baseless customs and innovations are to the detriment of your children, especially your daughters. This is because if you refuse to give them out in marriage, honorably, they would give out themselves, freely, to whom they wish. As you can all witness how at their youthful age
  • 22. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 17 they involve in various indiscriminate immoralities such as fornication, lesbianism, and homosexual act, etc. This is because parents refuse to do away with ignorance-based customs and ceremonies of the society. Remember that your children need a partner to move on in life. Everybody needs a companion, a helper, a sympathizer, in order to meet the merciful Lord in a pure condition. Our beloved prophet said: “Whoever desires to meet Allah in a pure condition must marry”. Allow your children to enjoy the fruit of youthfulness. According to the book of Allah and the tradition of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), our leader, Aliyu bn Abi- Talib (RA) defined the duration of his youth and that of his wife, Fatima (RA): “We are enjoying felicity, health and youth like two pigeons in a dwelling (i.e. in their nest)”. These two spouses lived a pure and prosperous life full of love and they will meet all-Mighty Allah in a pure condition full of love. 2.3 THE OBLIGATORY NATURE OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN Islamic law does not oblige every person to marry. However, certain conditions have to be put into consideration. These include: a. Marriage is compulsory (Wajib) for a man who has the means to easily pay dowry (token), Nihla,
  • 23. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 18 he can maintain wife and children and he is healthy but fears that if he does not marry he may commit fornication. b. Marriage is recommendatory but not obligatory if a man has the means to easily pray dowry, maintains wife, sexual ability and is in need of getting marriage partner or not interested in marriage but whose aim is only for the procreation of children. c. Marriage is not desirable (Makruh) for a man is not interested in marriage and who fears to be slackened in his religious obligations as regards maintenance of the wife. d. Marriage is forbidden to a man who cannot perform Islamic obligation such as inability to pay dowry or maintain the wife or have sexual intercourse with the opposite sex or if he is mentally derailed or having sexually transmitted disease (STD) such as AIDS, etc. 2.4 ESSENTIAL CONSTITUENTS OF MARRIAGE Islamic marriage has five (5) essential constituents without which there can be no valid contract of marriage. These include: i. Guardian from both suitors ii. Dowry (Nihla) iii. The intending life partners (Husband and wife to be)
  • 24. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 19 iv. Offer and acceptance from i and ii v. Reliable witnesses i. GUARDIAN FROM BOTH SUITORS The holy prophet (SAW) said: “There can be no valid marriage contract without a guardian”. A female guardian could be her father testamentary guardian, son, paternal brothers or Amir of the Muslim community. There are certain conditions for becoming a guardian to a female. These include the fact that the guardian must be free born (not a slave), male, sane, not engaged in pilgrimage, adult and a Muslim. ii. DOWRY (Nihla) This is a token which a person gives to his proposed wife in terms of money or its equivalent. It is necessary that the token given is either: a. Property, legally recognized and capable of ownership b. Given wholly or in part c. Made easy for payment to the husband-to- be because our beloved prophet (SAW) said: the most honourable women are those whose marriages are not expensive, etc.
  • 25. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 20 iii. THE INTENDING LIFE PARTNER It is necessary that both parties involved (male and female) must be free from any legal impediment such as illness or engagement in pilgrimage. iv. OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE BETWEEN GUARDIANS, HUSBAND AND WIFE Marriage formula (offer and acceptance) are those words used by husband or his representative (Guardian) seeking the woman in marriage from her guardian and the answer (acceptance) from him that he gives his daughter in marriage to the husband or his guardian. v. RELIABLE WITNESSES It is also necessary to have witnesses who can testify that a marriage is contract between the man and the woman. In the absence of witnesses, who must be at least two in number, Muslim and good-practising believers, the man s forbidden to consummate the marriage (have sexual intercourse with the woman) otherwise the marriage becomes null and void. Two respectable witnesses are required in witnessing a marriage. Thus the holy prophet (SAW) said: “…There is no marriage except with the permission of guardian and payment of dowry and two reliable witnesses”.
  • 26. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 21 In a nutshell, essential constituents of marriage are the processes involved in establishing an Islamic marriage according to the glorious Quran and the traditions of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). May Allah (SWT) give us the will-power to establish Islamic marriage in our society, which is the only way and means of achieving marital bliss, peace and tranquility. Amin. vi. CONJUGAL RIGHTS OF LIFE PARTNERS (SPOUSE) Under the Islamic code of conduct, both spouses have their respective rights, which both of them must fulfill. This could be testified by the saying of the prophet (SAW): “Surely you (husband) have from your wives certain rights and also your wives have from you certain rights”. a. Rights of the Wife i. Maintenance in terms of feeding, clothing and accommodation ii. Making sexual intercourse with her at least once in a while iii. Spending a night by the husband with her at least once in four days time iv. Equality of the number of days for each wife if the husband has more than one wife
  • 27. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 22 v. Spending the first seven days for a virgin while three days for a matron (a wife that has married before), etc. b. Rights of the Husband i. Obedience within her ability and which does not conflict with obedience to Allah, the exalted ii. Taking care of the husband, his wealth and family, especially his children, if he is already married iii. Having sexual intercourse with his wife at his disposal iv. Seeking his permission for supererogatory fasting if he is in town v. Undertaking a journey with the permission of the husband. In fact, a wife cannot even go out from her husband‟s house without his permission In a nutshell, the prophet (SAW) said: “A good wife is the one who pleases you (husband) when you look at her; obeys you if you command her, takes care of herself and your property when you are absent (away from the house). May Allah, the exalted, bless us with this type of wives that are conscious of their creator, Allah, the exalted. Amin. 2.5 PREPARATION FOR CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER Whenever you intend to ask for the hand of a girl or boy in marriage, perform ablution, offer two units of
  • 28. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 23 prayers, glorify Allah, the exalted, and recite the supplication of Istahara (seeking Allah‟s guidance to make a right choice of a life partner). The translation of the supplication is as written below: “Oh Allah!, I am seeking for your choice, and I am seeking for your strength from your consent, and I am seeking from your bounty that is great, because you are the one that have authority, but I do not know anything, and you are aware of the hidden issues. Oh Allah! If you know that this issue that I (want to) embark on is good for me in my religion, and my life, and in the hereafter, make it easy for me, and make it possible and bless me in it. And if you know that this issue I (want to) embark on is not good for me in my religion, and my life, and in the hereafter, take it away from me, and take me away from it, and apportion good for me wherever it is and make me accept it (in good faith)”. The above supplication should not be neglected because the prophet (SAW) encourage Muslims to do it when embarking on any issue such as marriage, business proposal, choosing a course to study, etc. Jabir the son of Abdullahi (RA) said: The prophet (pbuh) used to teach us “Istahara” in all our activities as he (SAW) used to teach us how to read (recite) the verses of the (glorious) Quran, he (SAW) used to say: If any of you want to embark on something he should observe two units prayer and then recite the supplication of „Istihara‟. The prophet (SAW) should be praised after the supplication and then terminate the prayer. Also, the supplication below could be recited all the time in
  • 29. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 24 order to be blessed with the right and suitable life partner. “O Allah! Intend to marry, so bless me with a woman who is highly virtuous and who for my sake will safeguard herself and my belongings and will be the source of abundance in my sustenance. And then make her give birth to a son who will be my virtuous remembrance in my life and after my death”. Abubakar (2002:17). Dear brethren in Islam, most of the difficulties, controversies and conflicts in the common and shared life have their roots in the wrong choice of life partner. My beloved brethren in Islam, as you intend to select a life partner, avoid sentimental decision and beware of deviational factors, which is common and seen among people today. However, marry only for the sake of Allah and seeking His pleasure. May Allah, the exalted, make it easy for all of us. Amin. 2.6 CRITERIA FOR SPOUSE SELECTION The following could be the criteria for the selection of a life partner: a. Religiousness b. Mortality c. Mobility of the family d. Reason e. Physical and mental health f. Beauty
  • 30. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 25 g. Knowledge and education, etc. Nonetheless, people use several yardsticks in selecting a life partner, but the best of the criteria is religiousness. This is because of the saying of the prophet (pbuh): A woman is married for four reasons: for her beauty, her property, her rank and her religion. Marry the one who is religious and you all prosper. (Bukhari and Muslim). Also, in one of his (pbuh) saying, he (pbuh) said: “The one who marries a woman for her beauty (only), he will see unpleasant things in her”. Regrettably, sometimes „beauty‟ dazzles the insight of most youth and they sacrifice most of the values such are religiousness, gentleness, brightness, etc. upon it. The apparent attractions and charms deprive them of seeing the reality of existence, which is to serve Almighty Allah, the exalted, through marriage. Thus, they establish marital life upon a weak and unstable foundation. May Allah (SWT) give our brothers the will-power to retrace the right path of Islam when they are to choose their life partners. Amin. Resultantly, after a short period of less than twelve months, when that freshness and apparent attractions faded out, the enthusiasm, emotional storm of passions subside then dismays, disagreement and misunderstandings evolve on the scene, and the displeasing factors and peculiarities become obvious.
  • 31. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 26 The relationship, which is established for the sake of Allah, is an eternal and everlasting bondage and any marital relationship contrary to it would be unsteady, unstable and unpleasant. May Allah, the exalted, gives our brothers the will-power to establish marital life for the sake of Allah, the exalted. Amin. 2.7 TWO SUITORS PROPOSING A SISTER‟S HAND IN MARRIAGE Islam prohibits two brothers from competing with one another to secure marriage with one sister. This is because such situation is likely to develop into serious enmity between two Muslim brothers. The holy prophet (pbuh) is reported to have said: “A believer is a brother of a believer, hence it is not lawful for him to bargain upon the bargain of a brother, or propose (the hand of a girl) on the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter (voluntarily) withdraws the (his own) proposal”. Moreover, the prohibition will become effective only if the brother already proposing the sister has sought the permission of the parents or guardian and have been given the permission to propose the sister. Brothers and sisters in Islam, this is the message of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to you. We should all fear Allah and deal justly with one another in matters of marriage proposal in the community of Muslims. As are
  • 32. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 27 all known and are all aware that this has been a problem in our community today. There is an absolute need to put ourselves into order and regulate our activities. May Allah, the exalted, make easy our premarital activities. Amin. Marry those among you who are single (not married) and the virtuous ones among you slaves, male or female. If they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: For Allah is ample giving, and He knoweth all things (Q24:32). However, He (SWT) said also: Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah gives them means out of His grace (Q24:33). 2.8 UNLAWFUL FORMS OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM There are a lot of forms of unlawful marriage. These marriages are named in Islamic Law Books as forbidden forms of marriage. These include: 1. Temporary marriage for enjoyment generally contracted for a stipulated period such as a month, semester, a year or more. 2. Marriage by exchange (trade by barter) without the mention of dowry 3. Marriage with a triply divorced wife by the same husband
  • 33. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 28 4. Marriage with a person (male or female) in pilgrims dress already with the intention of perform hajj (major or minor) 5. Marriage during „Iddah‟ (i.e. waiting period of a woman who was already divorced by another man 6. Marriage without guardian 7. Marriage with a pagan (male or female) 8. Marriage with person within the prohibited degree, especially, closely and biologically related such as brothers and sisters of the same father and mother or the same father or mother, only, etc. This is why incest is prohibited in Islam and other religions that were established by Allah, the exalted. 9. Marriage with a sick person 10. Secret marriage (marriage established is kept only between the couples and the witnesses) 11. Marriage with a fifth wife by exceeding the four wives stipulated for any true believer. Today, some people are having more than eighty (80) wives and they are still claiming to be Muslims, while they have overstepped their boundaries. May Allah, the
  • 34. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 29 exalted, preserve our faith for us throughout our life time. Amin. While those that have gone astray, may Allah, the exalted, straighten their paths and show them the right path. Amin.
  • 35. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 30 CHAPTER THREE 3.0 FACTORS AFFECTING (THREATENING) MARRIAGE IN THE CONTEMPORARY SOCIETY OF TODAY There are several factors treating marriage establishment in an Islamic community of today. These could be: i. Social factor e.g. tribalism, racism, feeling of superiority or inferiority, family status. ii. Economic factor e.g. poverty, lack of means of livelihood. iii. Educational factor, e.g. seeking for modern education, especially in tertiary institutions. iv. Western media propaganda. v. Doing away with “Shari‟ah” in the Muslim community. vi. Misery among the Muslims Shari‟ah refers to the code of Islamic law derived from the Qur‟an, the Prophet‟s traditions, as well as from consensus of the legal jurists (Ijma‟a) and analogy to other established principles from Islamic law (Qiyaas). 3.1 PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH MARRIAGE There could be some problems associated with marriage. Of course, animosity, hatred, frigidity may
  • 36. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 31 occur between husband and wife. But these occur because of husband‟s injustice to his wife or wife‟s disobedience to her husband. Problems associated with marriage keep away when there is a concord understanding and love for the sake of Allah between the couple. In addition, some problems associated with marriage are the handiwork of the couple. For instance, a marriage which was established and retained through fornication would definitely be threatened by problems. Marriage established without the consent of parents from both sides of the couple, or one side of the couple, would surely be faced with problems. Marriage established not for the sake of Allah (SWT) would naturally face disastrous end. May Allah (SWT) guide and protect all marriages established based on shari‟ah. Amin. 3.2 FACTS AND FIGURES ON PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH LACK OF MARRIAGE IN THE SOCIETY The western media such as CNN, BBC, and VOA have been campaigning for nudity among womenfolk and intermingling of opposite sexes in order to discourage marriage among people because they view that mixing between males and females adolescents and men and women is a matter that is accepted and normal. They even allege that intermingling and nudity curbs people‟s desire and restrains lust.
  • 37. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 32 However, it is glaring and clearly understood by any person in his senses that if both opposite sexes are starving sexually, and morally weak, then the temptation will be even stronger in a society where opposite sexes freely mix. This is why it was recorded by At-Tirmizhi that the Prophet (pbuh) said: It is prohibited for a man to be alone with a woman otherwise satan will be the third party (with them). Also, Bukhari and Muslim related that the Prophet (pbuh) said: “It is prohibited for man and woman to be alone together except those who are very near family members. They also related that the Prophet (pbuh) said: Beware of entering upon women (while alone in their apartments). A man asked what about the brothers-in- law (i.e. a relative of the wife or husband who is not one of those prohibited for marriage)? The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “the in-law is like death” (i.e. more dangerous and easier to commit fornication with than the other non-relatives). 3.3 EXPERIENCE OF THE PERCENTAGE OF PREGNANT GIRLS IN THE AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOLS Experience contradicts the allegation of the western media propaganda. According to Lebanese Sunday newspaper, issue No. 650, regarding the sex scandals in American colleges and universities, in one city the
  • 38. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 33 percentage soared to 48%. The news continues as highlighted below.  “The sexual scandals between male and female students in American universities and colleges, reoccur and increase each year”  Students demonstrate in the American universities and cry; “we want girls! We want to enjoy ourselves!”  “Students attack the girls‟ bedrooms at night and steal their underwear”  The head of the university commented on the incident saying, „most of the students both male and female, suffer from a tremendous sexual appetite, and there is no doubt that modern life is the major cause of such perverted acts‟.  Last year, statistics showed that 120,000 children were born out of wedlock by girls under twenty (20) years of age. Most of them were college and university students”.  The police in the state of Rhode Island reported that last May, 66 university students spent the weekend in providence. They returned to jail instead of returning to the university because they were suspected of illicit sexual acts and some were using drugs.
  • 39. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 34  The newspaper quoted a social worker (educator) Margaret Smith, as saying: “female students only think with their emotions, and with that which corresponds to their emotions. More than 60 percent of them failed their exams, primarily because they are thinking about sex rather than their studies or their futures. Only 10% of them are still chaste. Alhamdullihai, reality contradicts the allegation of the western media propaganda, because if intermingling and nudity curbs people‟s urges and weakens lust, why have sexual immoralities and moral deviations become dominant in the western nations (Ulwan, 2002, Page, 40 – 46). 3.4 SOME SHOCKING FACTS AND FIGURES  Al-Ahram newspaper on May 7, 1965 published, “The British society to cure homosexuality reported that there are at least one million British homosexuals”.  Al-Akhabr newspaper published on May 24, 1965 that: 100,000 Swedish women participated in a demonstration against unlimited sexual freedom (lesbianism)  George Baloushi wrote in 1962, in his book entitled The Sexual Revolution that President Kennedy declared, “The American future is in danger because her youth are loose and overcome by their desires
  • 40. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 35 without taking any responsibility for their actions. Six out of seven applicants for military service are unfit physically and psychologically due to their sexual desires”.  At the same time, President Khrustove also declared in 1962 that the future of Russian‟s youth is in danger because they are loose, and overcome by their sexual desires.  George Baloushi also mentioned that in 1964, a group of the top doctors in Switzerland proposed a suggestion to the King and the parliament to enact laws to control the unrestrained sexual practices that posed a threat to the community and its health.  The Middle East newspaper published on June 15, 1979 that 75% of European men cheat on their wives, and that a smaller percentage of the women cheat on their husbands. In many cases, the husband and wife are aware of that his spouse is cheating on him, yet the marital relationship may continue.  The Herald Tribune published on June 29, 1972 that researchers in America have discovered that the trend to commit incest is spreading within western society in general and particularly in American society. They report that this crime is committed by one in ten families. Most of those who have sexual intercourse with their daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, or mothers are of high class. Only one case in
  • 41. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 36 twenty is taken to court or given medical attention, as it is committed secretly. Most cases take place between the father and his daughter Ulwan (2002:46 - 48) All quoted sex deviations occur due to lack of establishing legal marriage among the western communities. May Allah open their hearts to the light of Islam. Amin. 3.5 SOLUTIONS/SUGGESTIONS When problems are investigated thoroughly and facts and figures are gotten from data available, then there is a need for proffered solution. Problems threatening marriage could be crushed by:  De-educating the Muslim Ummah from the western propaganda and ways of life.  Re-educating the Muslim Ummah about the shariah according to Qur‟an and Sunnah  Establishment of Islamic society by the Muslim Ummah e.g. Republic of Afghanistan, etc.  Establishment of just leadership in the society and election of good people into political office  Establishment of marriage at the right time  Polygamous homes should be fully established in the Islamic society
  • 42. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 37  Women attitudinal changes towards polygamy system of marriage established by Allah (SWT)  Discharge of justice by husbands that are fortunate to practice polygamy In conclusion, every one of you who listens to me with an open mind would recognize that immutable facts have been forwarded and logically cross-examined by the reality of nature that man‟s society cannot live in peace and harmony in the absence of legal marriage, because Islam is a religion of realism in balance with human nature. There is neither honour for Muslims nor stability for human kind save by following the techniques and principles of Islam, since it lightens life for the world. As said by Allah (SWT) in the glorious Qur‟an … There has come to you from Allah a (new) light and a perspicuous book. Where with Allah guides all who seek his good pleasure to ways of peace and safety, and leads them out of darkness, by His will, unto the light, guides them to a path that is straight … (Q5:15 – 16).
  • 43. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 38 CHAPTER FOUR 4.0 ISLAMIC PROSPECTIVE OF POLYGAMY Polygamy is a situation whereby a male Muslim marries more than one wife. In Islam, this is permitted to men only, because of the polygamist nature of men. This is why even the non-Muslims who condemn polygamy are caught committing extra-marital affairs with dozens of mistresses. The issue of polygamy has caused much concern to non-Muslims. They consider it to be oppression by man against the womenfolk. They have made the allegation simply because they have misunderstood the concept and the rationale behind it. However, the concept of polygamy is to make sure that the society is free of extra-marital affairs that would definitely surface if surplus population of women are left without a life partner. This is why in the chapter of Nasa‟i, verse 3, Allah, the exalted said: … marry women of your choice, two or three or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with your wives), then (marry) only one or that which your right hands possess (i.e. slave girl). That will be more suitable, to prevent you (husband) from doing injustice (Q4:3). Islam does not make it obligatory upon male Muslims to marry more than one wife. This is because it is incumbent for a Muslim who practices polygamy to maintain equality of treatment among the wives. It was stated by the Prophet (pbuh): “Anybody who has two
  • 44. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 39 wives but refuses to treat them equally will appear without one side of his body on the day of judgment”. It is optional for a female Muslim to marry a male Muslim that is having wife already. While the wife at home cannot stop her husband from marrying a second wife. It is expected of her, Islamically, to be praying for her husband to get a food and religious wife, her sister in Islam, to come and join her at home as blessed life partner and a friend. One of the concepts of polygamy is reproduction. There are situations where the wife at home proves barren, and the husband likes to have children. Sometimes, the wife at home is fertile, but always, experiences miscarriage. It would be unfair for her husband to divorce her for a fault which is not her own. In these circumstances, it would be easier for him to take another wife. Likewise during the period of war or calamity when men are killed and women are left behind in large number, polygamy can provide the best solution. For instance, during the First World War, more than ten million (10,000,000) European and American men were killed. The remaining surviving men were forbidden to marry more than one wife. The widows were therefore forced to go out in search for means of subsistence. It was in that way that they were exposed to committing adultery and bearing illegitimate children. Those who were gainfully employed were not paid as much salary as their male counterparts. Because of the oppression against them,
  • 45. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 40 these women started to stage demonstrations, and industrial strikes, giving lectures and writing in newspapers fighting for their freedom. Having failed to achieve much of these, they asked for voting rights and representation in legislative houses. But inspite of all these struggles, a man in the present century in Britain still earns salary much more than that of a female counterpart. There are some Muslim countries, since 1980th, like Tunisia which attempted to bar (stop) polygamy. The mistake became apparent when the law caused more harm than good by giving way to prostitution and adultery which are forbidden in Islam. There was an incident narrated by the late Sheikh Al-Alzhar Abdul Halim Mahmud over the law in Tunisia. The Tunisian police were informed that a man marry a second wife. He was therefore pursued and arrested in the bride‟s room. When he was asked at the charge office about the second marriage he made. He answered that he made no second marriage. He was asked further whether he was not the one who kept her there (at the house he was arrested), responsible for her feeding and accommodation. He answered „yes‟. He was asked whether he attended her and he said „yes‟. So the police wanted to know what his relationship with her was. He answered that she was just his mistress. From there he was discharged. This indicated that mistress to them was not an offence but taking a second wife is an offence.
  • 46. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 41 Nevertheless, one of the major reasons for polygamy in Islam is to reproduce and have more people who will serve the creator, as stated above. Our beloved Prophet (SAW) said in one of his authentic tradition: “Marry the young and procreate (reproduce) for I will be proud of your numbers on the Day of Resurrection in comparison with the followers of other Prophets”. (Ahmad & Tabarani). Another reason for polygamy is to marry surplus females created and preserved by Allah, the exalted. Statistics has shown that there are more females than their male counterparts. In fact, even at birth, more females are given birth to safely than the male foetus, because female foetus resists diseases and shocks in the womb than the male foetus. Every paedriatric Nurse will tell you the same thing. This is why in India according to Dr. Zakari Naik, more than three thousand (3000) foetuses are aborted on daily basis when they are identified to be female foetus. This implies that about one million, eighty thousand female foetuses are aborted every year. By implication, more than one million believing servants of Allah, the exalted, are killed annually. “Inna lillahi wa Inna Illayhi Raji‟un”. Also, more than a decade ago statistics has shown that there are more than 7.8 million females more than males. In India, there are more than 5 million females than females in New York, there are about 25 million gays (homosexuals) in U.S.A. only. This implies that there would be more than 30 million surplus women in
  • 47. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 42 USA that would not have life partners, because gays are not interested in the opposite, rather than their own sex. In fact, in USA and most parts of the West (Europe) gays marriage (marriage between two men) has been constituted in their constitutions. “Inna lillahi Wa Inna Illayhi Raji‟un”. Also, over ten years ago in Germany, there are surplus 5 million women more than men. This by implication means that if each man marries one woman, then 5 million women would not have life partners. These surplus women who will marry them? They cannot marry animal or jinns. They have to marry human beings. The only solution and option left is for these surplus women to marry men that have already married. Anything short of this, these women could be a threat to the entire society. This is why the system of keeping mistresses is common and practiced in Europe and most parts of the world that condemns polygamy. In Russia, for more than a decade there are surplus 9 million women more than men. This implies that if each man marries one woman, there would be 9 million women without a life partners. The only solution and option left is the Islamic system of marriage (polygamy). Allah, the exalted, knows best the number of females is more than the number of males throughout the world. Although, Nigerian census (2007) shows that there are more males than females. In spite the fact that even at
  • 48. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 43 pregnancy stage and during delivery, female foetus has a better chance to survive than the male foetus. During the time of wars men are killed. In Nigeria, during the civil war only, millions of Biafran and Nigerian soldiers were killed. During the recent crises in some parts of Nigeria, between 1999–2007, hundred thousands of men were killed; some were displaced from their native land, while some were rendered invalid as a result of serious injuries sustained during the civil unrest. One would wonder where the National Population Commission (NPC) of Nigerian has generated this data from. No wonder most states rejected most of the result announced with regards to their respective state population result. In fact, there is an absolute need for the NPC to revisit this exercise in order to validate the population result. This is because if the datum of the population result is subjected to “falsification test”, it would definitely fail. In a nutshell, the problem of surplus females in any part of the world could be solved through polygamy. However or whoever desires paradise will race (run) towards good deeds, whoever fears hell fire will abstain from temptation, whoever is certain of death will cease to make merry and whoever recognizes the world will bear its difficulties with case. This is why the Prophet (SAW) said: do whatever you can! But do not forget that you will have to account for all your doings (Hadith- Sharif). May Allah (SWT) make it easy for all of us. Amin.
  • 49. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 44 4.1 POLYGAMY Under the title of confusing questions a woman wrote to Al-Ahram newspaper in March 19, 1999. She said “what I write about is a very critical issue and needs to be solved since it is a public problem. She wrote the article in an interrogative style. She asked the following questions: 1. What can a woman do after reaching forty years without a husband? Must she be driven into corruption or to delay marriage until she enters Paradise in the hereafter? 2. What can a divorced or a widow (whether she has children or not) do? Why do men seeking marriage disregard her? Is it fair to let her live alone suppressing her desires along the life? 3. Why does a wife enjoy her husband alone and forbids him to marry another? Does she own him? What will she do if she herself becomes a widow or a divorced? Would she accept that fate? Is there anyone who can guarantee that she will not suffer what we suffer? 4. Is it permissible for a woman to have some medicine to suppress her desire of marriage? What is this kind of medicine? As for fasting, we know that it is a protection but it does not eradicate one‟s desire at all.
  • 50. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 45 Orientalists and their followers among the Muslims, westerners, try to devote their efforts to demolish the tenets of Islam. They try to raise false accusations and doubts against the polygamy system in Islam. They try to make women believe in their false accusations. Therefore, they circulate that polygamy is only limited to Muslim societies and uncivilized people. They claim that the polygamy system is only established to fulfill men desires. It destroys the dignity of women and usurps their rights. Likewise, it demolishes the principle of equality between men and women in which they should be devoted completely to each other. Furthermore, they claim that polygamy creates grudge between a husband and wives as it does among wives themselves. It is also a source of dispute and grudge among the stepbrothers that leads to the spreading of anarchy, instability in the family life and the immorality of the offspring. Let us now refute such ignorant envious accusations. As a matter of fact, polygamy was prevalent before the advent of Islam in many nations: the Israelites, the Arabs, the Indians, the Burhams, the Persians, the Zoroastrians, the Athenians, the Chinese, the Babylonians, the Assyrians, the Egyptians, the German and the Saxons.
  • 51. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 46 In his book, “The Woman in the Qu‟ran”, Abbas al- Aqqad said, „before Islam, the social laws disregarded the rulings of marriage including polygamy. It was lawful for a man to marry whatever number of women he liked so long as he could afford them. Thus, the civil laws, before Islam permitted polygamy and the adoption of maids without limit‟. Judaism allowed unlimited polygamy. Nothing concerning the prohibition of polygamy was stated in Torah. All prophets mentioned in the Torah had many wives. David and Solomon had hundreds of wives and maids. In Old Testament, it was stated that Solomon „had 100 wives and 300 maids‟. It was stated also in the Torah, “Isu went to Ishmael and added the daughter of Ishmael son of Ibrahim and sister of Niabut to his wives”. Concerning Jacob, son of Isaac, Torah stated, “then he got up in this night and took his two wives, to maids and his eleven sons to cross Yabuk pool”. Narrated Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (pbuh) said: “Tonight I will go round (i.e. have sexual relations with) one hundred women (my wives) everyone of who will deliver a male child who will fight in Allah‟s cause”. On that, an angle said to him, „say: if Allah wills‟. But Solomon
  • 52. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 47 did not say it and forgot to say it. Then he had sexual relations with them but none of them delivered any child except one who delivered a half person. The Prophet (pbuh) said, if Allah wills. Allah would have fulfilled his desire and that saying would have made him more hopeful”. Hence, it turned out that Judaism allows polygamy. As for Christianity, there is not explicit text in the Gospels prohibiting polygamy. Nevertheless, in some of Paul‟s epistles, there is an indication that polygamy is lawful. He said, “It is obligatory for a Bishop to have only one wife”. (Paul‟s first epistle to Timanum). To be obligatory for a Bishop to have only one wife is an indication that other Christians are allowed to practice polygamy. It has been historically proven that some early Christians got married to more than one wife. Among the early church fathers, there were some who had many wives. In his book “The Woman in the Qu‟ran”, Abbas al- Aqqad said, “Waster Mark, an authentic historian on polygamy stated, „with the approval of the church, polygamy remained allowed until the seventeenth century. It was too common to be counted by the church and the state”. It was well known that Martin Luther, the evangelists‟ leaders, was the first to codify polygamy. Furthermore,
  • 53. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 48 he protested against the renunciation of priest to marriage to such an extent that he left his priesthood aside and got married to a nun (i.e. holy sister). All what he did was to draw a new way of thinking. It was stated that he would speak about polygamy on various occasions without objection. Contemporary Christianity admits unlimited polygamy in Africa for the Christian Africans. In his book, “The Woman Between Islamic Law and Man-made Laws”, Mustafa as-Siba‟i stated, “Christians in Africa depend on polygamy as a means to disseminate their mission. It is these missionaries, who said “it is not proper to penetrate in the social affairs of pagans, since paganism has been established among them; it is not prudent to prevent them from marrying many wives as long as they are Christians who follow Christ‟s creed. Therefore, they have officially announced that it is lawful for African Christians to make unlimited polygamy”. He (may Allah have mercy on him) also, Christians in the West have found that women started to outnumber men especially after the two world wars. They found themselves facing a serious social problem of the steady increases of women over men. Until now, they are still helplessly trying to find a practical solution. It was among the suggested solutions to allow polygamy”. In 1948, there was a conference for youths in Munich, Germany, the conference discussed the problem of the
  • 54. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 49 increase in the number of women over men after the war. Many solutions for this problem were examined by then. Eventually, the result which the conference recommended to solve the problem was polygamy. Some western thinkers praised the polygamy system and called for it as a solution to save the society and to give every woman her right to be a mother. Gustav Lubon in his book “Arab Civilization”, says „the principle of Eastern polygamy is a good system, which elevates the morals of the nation‟s adopting it, strengthens the unity of the family and grants the women respect and happiness beyond the European woman‟s imagination”. Al-Aqqad also stated, in his book, “The Woman in the Qur‟an”, some points of views of European philosophers concerning polygamy. He quoted Dr. Lebeau‟s statement, “as a matter of fact, the European laws will one day allow polygamy. He also cited Ahranfil as saying, „Polygamy is needed to preserve the Arian progeny‟. In the pre-Islamic period before Islam polygamy was unrestricted and unlimited. Abu Dawud related in his “Sunan” on the authority of al-Harith ibn Qays that he said:
  • 55. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 50 “I embraced Islam while I had eight wives. When I mentioned that to the Prophet (pbuh), he said “choose only four of them”. Tirmidhi reported in the authority of „Abdullah ibn „Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both). “Abu Ghaylan ibn Sulayman att-Thaqafi embraced Islam and he had ten wives whom he married during the pre-Islamic period. His wives also embraced Islam with him. Thereupon, the prophet (pbuh) commanded him to choose only four of them”. Hence, we can conclude that the polygamy system is not only applicable to Islam but also to many nations before the advent of Islam, to all heavenly laws that were revealed before Islam and to Arabs in the pre- Islamic period. Allah, the Almighty says in His glorious book: Do they not travel through the land, so that their hearts (and minds) may thus learn wisdom and their ears may thus learn to hear? Truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but the hearts which are in their breasts.
  • 56. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 51 4.2 POLYGAMY IN ISLAM When Islam was revealed, polygamy was common among people. There might be one husband who had about ten wives. During the pre-Islamic period, it was unlimited polygamy. Then came Islam to put a severe limit that could not be surpassed. A Muslim can have only four wives provided that the treats them fairly, otherwise he can only marry one or what he possesses of slave girls. In his book “In the shades of Qur‟an”, Sayyid Qutb said, “Islam came to limit not to release and to restrict polygamy by justice not give free hand to man‟s desires”. But why does Islam allow polygamy? Islam is a realistic system that matches human nature in all circumstances time and place. It preserves the human hygiene and morals by fighting any kind of corruption or perversion. Thus, if we put such Islamic properties into consideration when dealing with the issue of polygamy, we would realize that rationale behind polygamy in Islam. First of all, we may face an increase in the number of women over men. That is a natural increase even at the time of peace. Thus how could be solve this problem? Is it enough to let the society treat itself according to circumstances and chances? Therefore, we should have a principle that governs and treats such a problem. We have only three cases when women outnumber men.
  • 57. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 52 i. Either a man marries only one woman and leaves the others without marriage. ii. Either a man has a woman in a legitimate marriage and another concubine(s). iii. Or he has more than one in marriage The first case is undoubtedly against the human nature. This is because a woman cannot live without a husband with whom she finds love and safety. Just as a man cannot only be satisfied with his financial and material progress so is a woman who is created to be a wife and a mother. Therefore, a man and a woman are alike concerning the need to marriage. The second case is against righteousness and chastity. It also degrades a woman and strips her dignity. As for the third case, it is what Islam recommends as a conditional dispensation to solve the problem of the shortage of men. Secondly, the fertility period of a man is longer than a woman. It may be 70years for him and 50years for her there is no doubt that among the goals of the creation of man and woman is to populate the earth by reproduction. Therefore, it is incredible not to make use of the man‟s fertility period that exceeds the woman‟s. It is not obligatory for everyone to do that. But it is rather permissible to fulfill such an innate requirement. That is the nature of the divine legislation which fits our nature. Unlike the man-made laws this divine
  • 58. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 53 legislation is a comprehensive system that tackles all probabilities for such case. i. To suppress the man and deprive him of fulfilling his natural desire to preserve a woman‟s dignity. ii. To give him a free hand to commit adultery and have concubines. iii. To allow polygamy in accordance with the circumstances he lives in. The first case is undoubtedly against the human nature and unbearable. The second case is against Islam and its good manners that aim to elevate the human life in order to be convenient to human beings whom Allah honoured over animals. As for the third case, it is the only way to fulfill the natural requirements of human beings. It matches the moral Islamic precepts. It keeps the first wife in the shade of marriage so as to lose the memoirs of her long life she led with her husband who still loves her. A wife may be barren but her husband longs for a child. Such a person has only two alternatives: a. To divorce her in order to replace her with a woman who can fulfill his desire. b. To marry another one in addition to his first wife.
  • 59. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 54 There is no doubt that the better choice for most women is the second one. A wise woman would surely prefer polygamy to helplessness. As a matter of fact, even the barren woman wishes to be amused by children no matter how they come. Hence, we are now in a position that makes us understand Allah‟s saying. (Marry women of your choice, two or three, or four, but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one). The permission of polygamy in the verse fulfills the natural desires and fights against the life of corruption. Whereas the restriction mentioned in the verse, protects the marital life of anarchy and the wife of injustice or humiliation. The required justice mentioned in the above verse applies to material affairs such as in dwelling, clothes, food expenses, sleeping with and everything a man can do. As for applying justice to human feelings, it is beyond man‟s will. This is represented in Allah‟s saying: (Ye are never able to do justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire. But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air) if ye come to a
  • 60. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 55 friendly understanding, and practice self-restraint. Allah is oft–forgiving, most Merciful). However, some opinionated people cite the above verse as a proof for the prohibition of polygamy. Therefore, the Prophet (pbuh) illustrated the concept of justice in such case by saying, after treating his wives fairly. “O Allah! That is what can I do of justice among them. May you not blame me as regards what you possess and I do not possess (namely the heart)”. Thus Islam introduced to polygamy such restrictions to make man thing quietly and slowly least he commits injustice which is forbidden by Islam. Some people claim that polygamy is against a woman‟s dignity and that it contradicts the principle of equality between man and woman. Those who circulate these false allegations are surely wrongful Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Islam allows polygamy for a man, not a woman. This is due to Allah‟s wisdom, favours, and mercy. Exalted be He whose law cannot be criticized or blemished. Had a woman married two men, there would have been corruption in this world. Husbands will fight each other. Chains of ancestry will be confusing. Therefore, this is the wisdom behind polygamy in Islam.
  • 61. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 56 Before we move on, we would like to declare that a woman is not obliged to accept a married man as a husband. She is completely free to agree or reject. In case she agrees, Islam guarantees all her rights, and dignifies her among the other wives. But what we see, nowadays, of the people‟s perversion when they misuse polygamy and in turn devastate the institution of marriage; it is beyond the pale of Islam. Sayyid Qutb said, “Whenever a generation perverts and misuses this dispensation, they do not represent Islam nor are their actions from Islamic precepts. They forsake Islam and do not realize its conceptions, which call to purity. The reason behind this is that they live in a society where Islam does not govern nor does the sacred law dominate. Such a society is responsible for this anarchy and for adopting marriage as a brutal desire. Therefore, whoever wants to reform this case should call the people to Islam, sacred law, purity, righteousness and moderation. Whoever wants to reform the society should call people to the Islamic way of life. It is not enough to reform an aspect of life and leave others aside. Islam is a system that encompasses all aspects of life.
  • 62. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 57 4.3 MEGA POLYGAMY This is a situation whereby a man marry more than wives stipulated for him by Allah, the exalted, in the glorious Qur‟an and according to the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Several men involved in mega polygamy from time immemorial without having the right to do so, because a man can practice mega polygamy only if commanded by Allah (SWT). This is why many Prophets of Allah (SWT) practice mega polygamy. Recently, a widely read magazine, the News, Volume 31, No. 12, dated 29 September, 2008 circulated news on one man who hails from Bida, Nigeria, known as Alhaji Mohammed Bello Masaba, who is famously married to eighty-six (86) women. This same mega polygamist is still nursing the idea to add more ten (10) wives. The story of this man and his lifestyle was circulated under LIFE & STYLE, Pp. 43-48 of the magazine. One in his right senses would wonder what will 84year old man be doing with eighty-six (86) or ninety-six (96) wives if his aim of adding ten more wives is achieved. The same man claims to be a Muslim! „‟Innalillahi wa inna ilayhi raji‟un‟‟. Unfortunately, the mega polygamist claims that there is no chapter of the Qur‟an or a saying of the Prophet (pbuh) that limits polygamy. One would wonder if this man is a true believer, if he actually knows and understands the true teachings of the previously quoted
  • 63. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 58 verse of the Qur‟an and the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). This reminds me of the Prophet‟s saying: “world is like a prison for a believer, while it is Paradise for a disbeliever. According to Islam as contained in the Muslims Operational Guidelines (Qur‟an and Hadith) marrying more than four (4) women is against the tenets of the religion. Abu Dawud related in his “Sunan” on the authority of al-Hadith Ibn Qays that he (RA) said; I embraced Islam while I had eight wives. When I mentioned that to the Prophet (pbuh), he (pbuh) said: “choose only four of them”. Also, Tirmizhi reported in the authority of Abdullah Ibn Umar (RAH), Abu Ghaylan Ibn Salama ath-Thawafi embraced Islam and he had ten wives whom he married during the pre-Islamic period. His wives also embraced Islam with him. Thereupon, the Prophet (pbuh) commanded him to choose only four of them. A Muslim can have only four (4) wives provided that he treats them fairly, otherwise he can only marry one or what he possesses of slave girls. Hence, we are now in a position that makes us understand Allah‟s saying:
  • 64. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 59 Marry women of your choice, two or three or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (fairly with them) then marry only one woman (Q4:3) Sayyid Qutb said in his book “In the shades of Qur‟an” Islam cam to limit (polygamy) not to release and to restrict by justice - Islam came to limit and restrict polygamy - Not to allow free hand to man‟s desire - To ensure justice and fairness to man‟s wives All praise is due to Allah (SWT), Islam is a realistic system that matches human nature in all circumstances, time and place. It preserves the human hygiene and morals by regulating and correcting any kind of corruption or perversion. May Allah (SWT) guide us to the right path. Amin. 4.4 PROBLEM OF SURPLUS WOMEN IN EUROPE: AHMED DEEDAT NARRATION Nature seems to be at war with mankind. It appears that it (nature) wants to take revenge for man‟s cleverness. Man will hardly listen to the healthy, practical solution to his problem, which the Beneficial, Benevolent providence offers him. So it says, “go simmer in your soup”! It is an accepted fact that at birth the ratio of male and female foetus is about equal everywhere. But in child
  • 65. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 60 mortality rate more male children die than female children. Amazing! „‟The weaker sex-females”? At any given time there are more widows in the world than widowers. Every civilized nation has a surplus of women. Great Britain, 4 million; Germany, 5 million; Soviet Russia, 7 million; etc. But a solution acceptable to the problem of the mighty USA, will be a solution acceptable to nations everywhere. The statistics of this most sophisticated nation (USA) on earth is more readily verifiable. 4.5 THE PLIGHT OF THE AMERICA CITIZENS We learn that the United States of America has a surplus of 7.8 million women over a decade ago. This means that more than ten years ago if every man in America got married, there would still be 7,800,000 women left over, women who would be unable to get a husband. Probably the number has double or triples as at present. One thing we do know, and that is every man will never get married for so many different reasons. Man gets cold feet and finds many excuses. A woman even if frigid would not mind getting married. She would marry, even if it is just for shelter, protection and livelihood. The American problem (and some other European nations) of surplus women is compounded. 98% of American prison population for example is male. Then it has 25 million sodomites (homosexuals). Euphemistically they call them “gays”, a once beautiful word meaning – happy and joyous – now perverted!
  • 66. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 61 The city of New York has one million more women than men more than ten year ago. Even if the total male population in this city (N. Y.) mustered enough courage to unit with the opposite sex in matrimony; there would still remain ore than 1,000,000 women without husbands. But to make things worse, it is reputed that one third of the male population in this city is „gay‟. The Jews, a very vociferous lot in every controversy, remain quite as mice, for fear of being labeled backward Easterners. The church, with their millions of „born again‟ votaries claiming to be the dwelling houses of the Holy Ghost, is also silent on this topic. The founders of the Mormon church, Joseph Smith and Brigham. Young, claiming a new revelation in 1830 preached and practiced unlimited polygamy to solve the problem of surplus women. The present day Prophets of Mormonism (this is a belief in an unbroken chain of living Prophets in churches) have abrogated the teaching of their church fathers to placate American prejudice on the subject of polygamy. What is the poor American/Western/European surplus women to do? They have literally gone to the dogs. (Alfred Kingsley in his book, The Life of the American female) as in Deedat (n.d). America does everything in a big way. She produces everything mighty. Mighty in promoting God and also mighty in promoting the devil. Let us for once join the mighty televange list (now-fallen) Jimmy Swaggart, in
  • 67. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 62 his prayer, in his well-researched book– “Homosexuality”, he cries,: “AMERICA – GOD WILL JUDGE YOU (meaning that God will destroy you), FOR IF HE DOES NOT JUDGE YOU (destroy you), He (God), MIGHT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO SODOM AND GOMORRAH” for their hasty, utter destruction because of their practice of homosexuality or their wanton gratification of unnatural lust. 4.6 ONLY SOLUTION – RESTRICTED AND REGULATED POLYGAMY At Amin, the Prophet of Truth, the Spirit of Truth, under inspiration of Almighty Allah supplies the solution to their (surplus women) unfortunate plight. Allah, the exalted, ordains, „Marry women of your choice, two, or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them) than (marry) only one … Q4:3. The Western world feigns tolerance towards the millions of sodomites and lesbians in their midst. It is a joking matter in the West for a man to keep a dozen mistresses, and beget dozen bastard children every year. Such lecherous creatures are proudly labeled as studs (i.e. a slang used for a man considered to be excessively virile. The term usually reserved for animal husbandry. “Let him sow his wild oats, but do not hold him responsible”! Say the West. But, Islam says “make man responsible for his pleasures”. There is a type of man who is prepared to take on extra responsibility and there is a type of
  • 68. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 63 woman who is prepared to share a husband. Why place obstacles in their way? You (non-Muslims) mock at polygamy, which was practiced by the Prophets of God as recorded in the Holy Bible, you forget that Solomon the Wise has a thousand wives and concubines as recorded in the Book of (I Kings 11:3), a healthy solution to your momentous problem and yet smugly wink at the gratification of unnatural lusts by sodomites and lesbians! What a perversion? Polygamy was practiced by the Jews and the pagans in the time of Jesus (pbuh). He did not say a single word against it. Not his fault. The Jews give him no peace to propound solutions. His was a natural cry, “when he the Spirit of Truth is come, he will guide you into all truth”. (John 16:13).
  • 69. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 64 CHAPTER FIVE 5.0 THE RATIONALE BEHIND THE MULTIPLYING OF THE PROPHET (pbuh) We have mentioned before that when the enemies of Islam failed to attack Islam scientifically, they resorted to conspiracy and false allegations. They did their best to defame the prophetic character, especially concerning his many wives. They claimed that he (pbuh) was lustful and egocentric. In addition to many false accusations concerning his marriage to Zaynab bint (i.e. daughter of) Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her). Thereby, we have to refute such allegations and show the world the real character of the Prophet (pbuh) who is infallible and beyond, worldly benefits. What we are going to deal with can be summarized in the following points. 1. Polygamy is not confined to the Prophet (pbuh) but it also applies to earlier Prophets that were sent to various nations before him (pbuh). 2. The rationale behind the many wives of the Prophet (pbuh). 5.1 THE RATIONALE BEHIND THE MULTIPLYING OF THE PROPHET‟S WIVES In the very beginning we should bear in mind that polygamy was common before Islam. In addition to that, the Prophet (pbuh) had more than one wife in Madina when he became old. Having mentioned these
  • 70. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 65 two facts let us shed the light on the rationale of polygamy in the Prophet‟s life (pbuh) and the circumstances, which had led to that. i. Khadija bint Khuwailid She was the first of the Prophet‟s wives. The Prophet (pbuh) was twenty-five when he married Khadija who was forty by then. She was widow when he married her and they lived twenty-five years together. The Prophet did not marry any other woman during her life. Hence, we can conclude that the Prophet‟s marriage was void of any lust or desire. He was famous of good and noble character. Had he wanted to marry any beautiful and virgin woman, she would have accepted him. However, all what he wanted was purity and chastity. ii. Sawdah bint Zam’ah Shortly after Khadija‟s death, Abu Talib, the Prophet‟s uncle died. The Prophet, therefore, became alone without company. He needed someone with whom he can find repose. Thereby, he got married to Sawdah bint Zam‟ah (may Allah be pleased with her). She was among the emigrant believers. When Sawda‟s husband, as-Sakran died, she feared to return to her family lest they put her in torture and convert her. Being informed about
  • 71. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 66 her case, the Prophet (pbuh) offered to marry her in order to defend her. Moreover, he wanted to honour her and her husband for their strong faith and their immigration in the cause of Allah. She was fifty-five by then. All people admired and were amazed by this marriage. The Prophet married this solitary and poor widow to be an example before all people to put before their eyes the noble goals behind marriage. iii. Aisha bint Abu Bakr She was the only virgin woman whom the Prophet married. She was nine years old when the Prophet (pbuh) married her. By such a marriage, the Prophet (pbuh) consolidated the bonds of friendship with Abu Bakr. He abolished the pre-Islamic system of brotherhood. In the pre- Islamic period, the people were accustomed to befriending one another to the extent that they behaved like brothers by blood. Therefore, they could not marry the daughters of whom they befriended and took as brothers. Thus, when Khawla went to Abu Bakr and bethroted A‟isha to the Prophet (pbuh), he wondered, “could A‟isha be lawful to him while she was his brother‟s daughter? Then Khawlah went back to the Prophet (pbuh) and told him what had happened. Accordingly, the Prophet (pbuh) said: “Tell him, you are my brother in Islam and your daughter is lawful to me”.
  • 72. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 67 By such marriage, A‟isha became the most knowledgeable of Muslim women in Sacred Law, religion and Islamic behaviour, having married the Prophet (pbuh) in the second year after the Hijra, becoming the dearest of his wives to him in Medina. She related 2210 hadiths from prophet (pbuh) and after his death, leading figures of the companions would come and ask her for legal opinions, which she would supply. What a great rationale behind such marriage! iv. Hafsa bin Umar ibn Al-Khattab Hafsa was the widow of Khanis Ibn Hudhafah. He was among the early immigrants to Abyssinia and fought in the batte of Badr. He died in Madina due to wounds he received in the Battle of Uhud. Then Umar offered to Abu Bakr and Uthman to marry his daughter, Hafsa, but they apologized. Accordingly, Umar complained to the Prophet (pbuh) and he (pbuh) said, “Hafsa will get married to someone who is better than Uthman and Uthman will get married to someone who is better than Hafsa” Then the Prophet (pbuh) married Hafsa to give equal honour to both Abu Bakr and Umar. Nothing might be more desirable on the part of
  • 73. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 68 the Prophet (pbuh) to offer Abu Bakr and Umar as a reward for their truthful sincerity and their sacrifices for the sake of Islam more than marrying their dearest daughters. How noble was the Prophet‟s attitude towards Umar, whoever thinks of the Prophet‟s marriage to Hafsa will realize that this marriage was not out of lust or desire. v. Zainab bint Khuzaimah She was the widow of Ubaidah Ibn al-Harith (may Allah be pleased with him), who was martyred at the battle of Badr. She was sixty when her husband died. Thus she needed some kind of care. Accordingly, the Prophet, after he came to know about her condition, married her to join her to the other mothers of believers. But she died shortly after the Prophet (pbuh) had married her. It is said that she stayed two years or two months with him. It is said also that the period, which she lived with the Prophet, was just eight or three months. As a whole, she was the only wife of the Prophet (pbuh) who dies during the Prophet‟s lifetime but after Khadija. vi. Umm Salama She was the first Muslim woman to immigrate to Abyssinia. She had been married to Abdullha Ibn Abd al-Asad who was martyred the battle of Uhud. When he died, Umm Salama was sixty-five by then. She had two boys and two girls. There
  • 74. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 69 was none who would suffice her after the death of her husband. Therefore, the Prophet (pbuh) betrothed her for himself. She first apologized to the Prophet (pbuh) because of her old age, her orphans and the jealousy she had. But the Prophet (pbuh) said “I am older than you and as for jealousy I will supplicate Allah to remove it from you and the orphans will be to Allah and His Messenger (pbuh). This is the wisdom behind such marriage to look after a widow and her orphan kids. vii. Zaynab bint Jahsh She was the Prophet‟s cousin. The Prophet (pbuh) gave his son by adoption, Zayd, Zaynab in marriage. Adoption was one of prevalent tradition in the pre-Islamic period. The adopted was treated as a real son. He had the same rights of inheritance and he was prohibited of to marry the wives of his adopter. Zayd‟s marriage with the Prophet‟s cousin Zaynab bint Jahsh did not turn out happy. Zaynab the high-born, looked down upon Zayd the freedman who had been a slave. And he was not comely to look at. Both were good people in their own way and both loved the Prophet (pbuh) but there was mutual incompatibility and this is fatal to married life. Zayd wished to divorce her but the Prophet (pbuh) asked him to hold his hand and he obeyed. But when it became
  • 75. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 70 impossible to live with each other, Zayd divorced her. The pagan superstition and taboo about adopted sons had to be destroyed as Allah willed. Therefore, Allah the Almighty commanded His Messenger (pbuh). To marry Zaynab even though the people would circulate that Muhammad got married to his son‟s wife. Thereupon Allah said, “Than didst fear the people, but it is more fitting that than shouldst. Fear Allah. Then when Zayd had dissolved (his marriage) with her. We joined her in marriage to thee: in order that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in (the matter of) marriage with the wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have dissolved (their marriage) with them. And Allah‟s command must be fulfilled. (Al-Ahzab:37). What was aimed behind the Prophet‟s marriage to Zaynab was to destroy the superstitions of erecting false relationships to the detriment or loss of true blood relations.
  • 76. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 71 viii. Juwairiya bint al-Harith She had been married to one of the severest opponent to Islam and the Messenger of Allah, who was killed during the battle of Banu al- Mustalaq. Then, Juwairiyah was taken as a prisoner of war. She was under Thabit Ibn Qays who wrote a contract for her emancipation. She went to the Prophet (pbuh) asking his help. But the Prophet (pbuh) said, “would you like something what is better than emancipation? She asked, “what is that?” The Prophet replied, “I pay your debt on your behalf and marry you”, she answered, “Yes, Messenger of Allah”. Then the Prophet said, “I have done that”. No sooner did the Prophet (pbuh) declare his marriage to Juwairiya than the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) came with her tribe and set them free saying: “These prisoners are the Prophet‟s relatives by marriage”. A‟isha said, “When the Prophet (pbuh) married Juwairiya, when they (Muslims) set free about a hundred families of her tribe. Thus, there is no other woman, as I think, who blessed her tribe greater than her. After that all her people embraced Islam willingly. That was the rationale behind such marriage to disseminate the word of Allah all over the world and to multiply the Muslims and the helpers of Islam.
  • 77. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 72 ix. Umm Habiba bint Abu Sufyan She was the widow of Ubaidullah Ibn Jahsh with whom she immigrated to Abyssinia to escape and pressure her belief. There her husband converted to Christianity and left her alone where he died soon after. She was perplexed and did not know where should she go: to Makka where her family who might convert her or to stay alone without a supporter abroad? Then the Prophet (pbuh) sent to Negus, the King of Abyssian to give him Umm Habiba in marriage. Then, she agreed in overwhelming happiness. That was the rationale behind such a marriage. To honour this patient woman, to protect her of trials in religion and to please the hearts of her family. x. Safiyya bint Huyay ibn Akhtab She was a daughter of the leader of Banu Quraizah. She was taken as a prisoner of war after the murder of her husband in the battle of Khaybar. When she was brought to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), he said to her, “your father was a great Jewish enemy to me until Allah slayed him”. She replied, “Allah says in His Book, “No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. (Al- An‟am:164).
  • 78. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 73 Then the Prophet (pbuh) gave her choice: either to set her free to be his wife or to return her to her family. She said, “O messenger of Allah, I liked Islam and believed you before you had invited me. Moreover, I have nothing in Judaism, no father or brother, you gave me a choice between disbelief and Islam. Allah and His Messenger are more beloved to me than return to my tribe”. Then the Prophet married her and made her emancipation as her dowry. However, the main reason for this marriage was the keenness of the Prophet (pbuh) for Jewish people to embrace Islam, or at least to abate their enmity against Islam. xi. Maymuna bint al-Harith She was the widow of Abu Ruham Ibn Abdul Uzza. She was the last wife the Prophet (pbuh) married. The motivation behind this marriage was that the Prophet (pbuh) wanted to attract the people‟s hearts to Islam. Maymuna had many relatives and kin in Banu Hashim and Banu Makhzum. Having mentioned the reasons and the circumstances that led to multiplying the Prophet‟s wives let us sum up these goals so that they are easy to understand:
  • 79. The Concept of Marriage in Islam BY: Siraj Muh’d. Funtua (Abu Abdullahi) 74 1. Spreading Education among Women. The situation required that some women should take the charge of guiding and teaching other women especially in feminine matters which they may have felt too shy to ask the Prophet (pbuh) about, such as marriage affairs, menstruation, postnatal childbirth and information about purification. 2. Perfection of the Legislation Such as the nullification of the superstition of adoption which was prevalent in the pre-Islamic period. It gage much time to the Muslims to transmit the Prophet‟s sayings and traditions. Thus, it was mentioned that the Prophet‟s wives narrated what exceeded three thousand hadiths. 3. Social Solidarity By marriage, the Prophet (pbuh) also consolidated the bonds of friendship with his companions. 4. Political Aims The Prophet also gained the support of the leaders of the tribe from who he married. Furthermore, they willingly embraced Islam.