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The Balanced Male
- 1. JASON FIERSTEIN, MA, LPC COUNSELOR FOR MEN PARADISE VALLEY COMMUNITY COLLEGE NOVEMBER 17, 2008
- 2. THE BALANCED MALE HEALTHY FROM THE INSIDE OUT JASON FIERSTEIN, MA, LPC COUNSELOR FOR MEN PARADISE VALLEY COMMUNITY COLLEGE NOVEMBER 17, 2008
- 3. What does balance mean to you?
- 4. What We’ll Talk About Today: • Balancing Your Relationships and Communication • Your Keys to a School Life in Balance • Your Health: Inside and Out • Beat Stress • Food and Mood • Good Mental Health for Men • The Messages That Hold Us Back from a Balanced Life
- 6. The Relationship Balance • Needs and feelings instead of... • Men don’t talk to other men this way! Are you crazy? • The link between anger and depression in men • Picking the right people for you that help balance your life • Dropping masks and being real
- 7. • Conflict with others - How Not To Communicate • Avoid the problem/stuff your feelings • Fighting/criticizing to get what you want • Linear vs. Circular: Men vs. Women’s Communication Styles • Technology and Communication: Help or Hinderance? The Communication Balance
- 9. Physical Emotional Behavioral Headaches Stomach Problems Muscle Aches/tension Flushed/warm face Increased heart rate Decreased/increased appetite Decreased/increased sleep Increased muscle/joint pain Being ill more than usual Signs of Stress
- 10. Physical Emotional Behavioral Headaches Stomach Problems Muscle Aches/tension Flushed/warm face Increased heart rate Decreased/increased appetite Decreased/increased sleep Increased muscle/joint pain Being ill more than usual Increased Substance Use (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, caffeine) Isolate/Withdraw from people More aggressive/yelling, swearing Throwing things, fighting Increased/decreased eating Decreased activity level Talking more/less Signs of Stress
- 11. Physical Emotional Behavioral Headaches Stomach Problems Muscle Aches/tension Flushed/warm face Increased heart rate Decreased/increased appetite Decreased/increased sleep Increased muscle/joint pain Being ill more than usual Sad Angry Impatient, irritable Feeling guilty Nervous/anxious Lose interest in things Hard to concentrate Hopelessness Thoughts of suicide/homicide Increased Substance Use (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, caffeine) Isolate/Withdraw from people More aggressive/yelling, swearing Throwing things, fighting Increased/decreased eating Decreased activity level Talking more/less Signs of Stress
- 12. Tips on Dealing With School Stress • Stay Organized! Pace Yourself and Plan Ahead • Exercise (It’s Free) • Your Body Speaking Stress • Time Management Is The Key • Know your Tipping Point • Why You Don’t Ignore Your Stress After You’ve Recognized it
- 13. Tips on Dealing With School Stress • Stay Organized! Pace Yourself and Plan Ahead • Exercise (It’s Free) • Your Body Speaking Stress • Time Management Is The Key • Know your Tipping Point • Why You Don’t Ignore Your Stress After You’ve Recognized it
- 14. Tips on Dealing With School Stress • Take Advantage of school resources, such as Counseling, Academic Advising, Tutoring, or your professor’s office hours. • Grab Your Goals and Reward Accordingly • $tre$$ Management • Study What You Enjoy: Choose 1 Class To Provide An Outlet • The Work-School Balance
- 15. Tips on Dealing With School Stress • Take Advantage of school resources, such as Counseling, Academic Advising, Tutoring, or your professor’s office hours. • Grab Your Goals and Reward Accordingly • $tre$$ Management • Study What You Enjoy: Choose 1 Class To Provide An Outlet • The Work-School Balance
- 16. What you consume may be stressing you
- 17. What you consume may be stressing you ❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high.
- 18. What you consume may be stressing you ❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high. ❖ “Food supporters” include fish and its oils, fruits, vegetables, water, complex carbohydrates, protein and B-vitamins.
- 19. What you consume may be stressing you ❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high. ❖ “Food supporters” include fish and its oils, fruits, vegetables, water, complex carbohydrates, protein and B-vitamins. ❖ Don’t smoke: People who smoke are likely to be more depressed than non-smokers.
- 20. What you consume may be stressing you ❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high. ❖ “Food supporters” include fish and its oils, fruits, vegetables, water, complex carbohydrates, protein and B-vitamins. ❖ Don’t smoke: People who smoke are likely to be more depressed than non-smokers. ❖ Exercise! Certain endorphins and other brain chemicals released in response to exercise also produce a natural “high” and reduce stress, pain and depression.
- 31. Internalized messages are given to us at an early age. We then create certain ideas about what it means to be a man based on them. Messages can be social, cultural, religious, parental or even self- created. How can you become aware of the messages that propel your thinking about being a man? Are they healthy or unhealthy messages, and do they work for you?
- 32. Messages (and Myths) About Being a Man • Not “being a man” by asking for help • “I’m weak if I have to ask for help.” • Reducing your “image” to friends, family • “Strong, silent type” of man (Tony Soprano) • The OWC Philosophy (“Only Women Cry”) • “I can handle it myself/I’m in control of it.”
- 33. What Works? • Living lined up with your values • Positive relationships and effective communication • Healthy living • Practicing stress management and good self-care techniques • Creating school balance for yourself • Asking for help when its needed • Staying true to yourself, your wants, needs, and desires
- 34. And What Doesn’t Work? • Bad relationships: friendships, family and romantic • Poor communication with others • Eating an unhealthy diet and bad lifestyle choices; poor sleep patterns • Not asking for help when you need it most • Not listening to yourself and doing what’s best for you • Believing cultural messages and myths about “being a man” that prevent you from seeking help
- 35. Good luck during your final exams! Thank you for coming today.